Investigators for the House Select Committee investigating the January 6th domestic terrorist attack on Congress have requested an interview with Republican Georgia Congressman Barry Loudermilk based on the fact that he gave tours of the Capitol on the day before the assault, Politico reports.

“We believe you have information regarding a tour you led through parts of the Capitol complex on January 5, 2021,” Democratic Chair Bennie Thompson of Mississippi and Republican Vice Chair Liz Cheney of Wyoming wrote in its invitation to testify sent to Loudermilk.

After more than two dozen Democratic members of the House reported unusual tours going through the Capitol before the assault, Republicans on the House Administrative Committee, of which Loudermilk is a member, said they reviewed surveillance footage of the days before the attack and declared that “no tours, no large groups, no one with MAGA hats on” had been invited into the buildings by GOP staff.  That appears to have been a lie.

Vancouver Island, Canada mother Cait Oakley was breastfeeding her infant daughter when she noticed an eagle trying to drag away the family’s pet goose, Frankie, from the front porch of the home, so Oakley did what any mother would do:  ran out the door topless and with latched baby to scare off the predator.  “This is mom life,” Oakley told the CBC of her maternal multitasking.  Mother, baby and Frankie are doing fine.  The eagle was unavailable for comment.

Michigan’s Democratic Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson says she was told Donald Trump proposed arresting her for treason and executing her because she refused to throw out the state’s 2020 election results and hand the state to Trump, NBC News reports.

Benson says she was told by someone familiar with the discussion that Trump was incensed that Michigan authorities found no irregularities after Trump and his cabal claimed, without evidence, thousands of fake votes were cast in the state.

“It was surreal and I felt sad,” Benson said in an interview that will be broadcast Thursday.  “It certainly amplified the heightened sense of anxiety, stress and uncertainty of that time — which I still feel in many ways — because it showed there was no bottom to how far [Trump] and his supporters were willing to stoop to overturn or discredit a legitimate election.”

“After speaking with staff from the Jewish Community Relations Council of Minnesota and the Dakotas (JCRC) we understand that the use of imagery depicting Mr Soros as a puppet-master at our state convention raised concerns that the imagery perpetuated an antisemitic trope. The MN GOP strongly condemns the rise of antisemitism from all corners, including on both sides of the political aisle. We wish to assure the JCRC and our friends in the broader Jewish community that the image was not intended to invoke hostility toward the Jewish people.”

“It should not have happened, we apologize and are committed to working with the JCRC to educate our staff and candidates on antisemitism. As discussed with the JCRC, I have concluded that after talking with Ms. Crockett that the depiction of Mr Soros was not intended as antisemitic, and that nether Ms Crockett nor her creative team were aware that the depiction of a puppet-master invokes an old but persistent antisemitic trope” and blah blah blah more empty platitudes about support for Jewish people says Minnesota GOP chairman David Hann in a statement apologizing for Republican Secretary of State candidate Kim Crockett showing a video depicting Soros as the puppet master to Jewish incumbent Dem Steve Simon.

In January 2011, a barrel of crude oil cost $85, and gasoline prices averaged $3.15 per gallon.  Today, a barrel of crude again costs $89 per barrel and a gallon of regular gas costs $4.21 per gallon on average.

It’s not a matter of supply and demand that consumer gas prices are so high:  the fuel supply to US refineries has been steady for months, with refineries along the Gulf coast only shutting down due to the lack of demand caused by the pandemic last year.  (One major Texas refinery shut down in February because of cold weather in Texas that the state’s power grid could not compensate for, thanks to Republican Governor Greg Abbot’s administration.) Nor is it a matter of dramatically more expensive processing costs.

So what’s causing the inflated gas prices at the pump impacting family budgets?  As CNN reports, House Democrats passed a bill authorizing the Federal Trade Commission to investigate reports of price gouging by oil companies, who enjoyed a healthy profits in 2021:  ExxonMobil made $23 billion in 2021; Chevron, $16 billion; and BP, $13 billion.

CPAC President Matt Schlapp, whose very name describes what people want to do to him after listening to him for 43 seconds, said that the creeping effort to ban abortion in the United States would be the answer to the debunked “Great Replacement Theory” conservatives put forth as a Democratic conspiracy, Vice reports.

Schlapp is at the CPAC conference being held in Budapest to honor authoritarian Prime Minister Viktor Orban for promoting a white nationalist agenda.  No media are allowed in the meeting hall as the far-right activists praises their defense of free speech in the wake of their claimed silencing by social media platforms.

“If you say there is a population problem in a country, but you’re killing millions of your own people every year through legalized abortion every year, if that were to be reduced, some of that problem is solved,” Schlapp said. “You have millions of people who can take many of these jobs. How come no one brings that up? If you’re worried about this quote-unquote replacement, why don’t we start there. Start with allowing our own people to live.”  [Fact check:  there are only around 600,000 abortions in the US annually, and tens of thousands of those are when the fetus is inviable or when the life of the mother is in danger, which would presumably eliminate an ‘Murican voter.]

It’s true! Thank you all for the well wishes ☺️ https://t.co/i5cm9awN3S

— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) May 19, 2022

The Senate voted 86 to 11 to approve the new military aid package to Ukraine Thursday, the Associated Press reports. The bill now heads to President Biden’s desk to be signed.

Let me start by apologizing to our non-commenting readers in advance of this Disqus Cinematic Universe article. Sorry if you do not find any of this stuff funny or interesting. We will resume real news very shortly after this article. However our commenting readers take priority as they are our main resource for feedback and tips on content. They’re kind of like the elite uber Chads and Stacys of National Zero, while you are anonymous souls floating in the aether. We love you for reading, but DJs don’t play music for the wallflowers, if you catch my drift. Ahem…

What the fuck is this? What kind of MAGA tough guys run a site that organizes a troll raid on National Zero and then bans me for trying to (disingenuously, I admit) stick out an olive branch?

We all know right wingers are cowardly hypocrites, but this still manages to be pretty fucking galling. They seriously pre-moderate every comment and you need to be pre-approved by a moderator to comment on the site. What the hell kind of “free speech patriot” would act like that?

Breitbart and Gateway Pundit might be intolerant pansies when it comes to moderating but at least they allow folks like me a chance to have our comments seen before we get banned. These chodes wouldn’t even do that. And they have the temerity to spam us with low-effort MAGA bullshit and run away snickering? What a bunch of pussies. Everyone gets a chance to fuck up here at National Zero, even if our mods can be more trigger happy than I personally like. We do allow some MAGA trolls here for kicks. I even go out of my way to parole them after they’ve been banned because I like seeing their angry reactions to articles I write. What kind of douchebag MAGA site wouldn’t want triggered libs coming to them? Ch00-Ch00 (God that name fucking sucks), that’s who.

In what would be the strictest ban on abortion in the nation, the Oklahoma Legislature passed a bill Thursday that would ban abortion from the moment of fertilization with no exceptions for dangers to the life of the mother, the New York Times reports.

The Oklahoma bill will allow civil suits by individuals who sue the woman, the doctor and anyone who “aids or abets” the ability of the woman to get an abortion.  Like the oppressive Texas bill it’s modeled after, the Oklahoma bill provides for civil penalties through lawsuits filed by private individuals who wish to get rich by violating other people’s privacy.

Oklahoma’s legislation allows for an abortion in the event of rape or incest as long as those assaults are reported to police, which historically sexual assault victims have been hesitant to do because of the shame often shoveled onto victims of such crimes.

Trump advisors tell CNN he’s probably done making endorsements after the still inconclusive Pennsylvania GOP Senate primary election failed to deliver a victory for one of his endorsed candidates, as well as the losses suffered by Congressman Madison Cawthorn in North Carolina and Lt Gov Janice McGeachin in Idaho. “This is not how he expected this to go. If Oz loses, it puts him in an awkward spot because he absolutely trashed David McCormick at his rally and pissed off quite a few allies who never thought he should have endorsed Oz,” one acolyte said.

The Donald’s 2022 GOP primary endorsement record now stands at 65 wins and 7 losses, including McGeachin, Cawthorn, and Charles Herbster in Nebraska who lost outright. Tennessee US House Candidate Morgan Ortagus and Michigan State House were kicked off the ballot, Mo Brooks who he undorsed in March, and Sean Parnell who dropped out in November. Seven more Texas candidates ran unopposed and even though the fat orange fuck still counts those as wins, we don’t. Neither do we count the four Texans who are headed to runoffs next month, including shitbag AG Ken Paxton.

We could probably weed out more endorsements that he made at the last minute to a clear leader (like Doug Mastriano in Pennsylvania) to simply pad his numbers, but that’s a little subjective.

The Russian economy, which was already pretty much shit anyway five years ago, is getting even worse with consumer prices spiraling upward, the New York Times reports. For example, a kilogram of bananas that cost 60 rubles last month went up to 100, while a pack of tampons doubled in price from 215 to 430 rubles. The Central Bank forecasts an annual inflation rate of 18 to 23 percent.

Yet the fanboys here don’t like to talk about that. They think Russia is awesome because it owns the libs by interfering in American elections, boosting right wing propaganda, and paying a midget like Rand Paul to slow down an aid bill to Ukraine. They’ll deny it all day in stupid, self-contradictory ways, but the bottom line is they think Russia is badass and they want America to be more like it. They love rampant public corruption, organized crime, powerful clergy (like Patriarch Kirill), and state-sponsored savagery inflicted on LGBT people. Russia has all that and more. That’s why they’re probably going to be all pissy to find out that inflation is far worse there than it is here. Just read the comments from them below. They’re going to be furious about this.

Republican Colorado gubernatorial candidate Greg Lopez, who’s pro-life after finding Jesus following his 1993 arrest for assaulting his then-pregnant wife, told fans earlier this week he wants a Colorado electoral college to elect statewide candidates county by county, 9News reports. “One of the things that I’m going to do, and I’ve already put this plan together, is, as governor, I’m going to introduce a conversation about doing away with the popular vote for statewide elected officials and doing an electoral college vote for statewide elected officials,” said Lopez, adding “I’ve already got the plan in place. The most that any county can get is 11 electoral college votes. The least that a county can get is three.” 9News crunched the numbers and concluded that under Lopez’s plan, Democrats would lose every conceivable statewide election indefinitely.

This vile individual knows the Left stole the election. He doesn’t want his own side—Democrats—to find out. He knows even Democrats don’t want to win by cheating. Hence his insistent “I saw the documentary so you don’t have to.” He’s running scared! https://t.co/RNYZKwK8s9

— Dinesh D'Souza (@DineshDSouza) May 19, 2022

Maybe D’Souza should try whatever voodoo spell creepy Gen X douchebag indie director Vincent Gallo used in 2003 to curse Roger Ebert with cancer. Or he could just settle for doing a shitty Godzilla remake and casting an Anthony L Fisher lookalike as the incompetent, cowardly mayor if he thinks Fisher suffering decade of gruesome surgeries including having his jaw removed before finally meeting a merciful end is a little too harsh to wish upon even your worst enemies.

Japanese prosecutors have charged 24 year-old Sho Taguchi with fraud after Taguchi was accidentally wired the entire 46.3 million yen COVID stimulus payout (about $360,000 USD) meant for he and 462 of his neighbors in the rural town of Abu, population 2,952, which Taguchi then proceeded to piss away gambling in online casinos after promising the mayor he wouldn’t, the New York Times reports. The saga began in April when Abu’s mayor, Norihiko Hanada, sent a list of 463 local eligible recipients of the relief funds and watched as some asshole proceeded to wire all of the disbursement to Taguchi, whose name was at the top of the list (We’re guessing “Sho Taguchi” would be something like the equivalent of “Aaron Aaronson” in a Japanese phonebook).

Hanada then paid Taguchi a visit and drove him to a bank branch to unfuck the problem, but Taguchi refused to go inside until he spoke with a lawyer, promising Hanada he would send the money within the next few days. Then the neon claws of Gamblor gripped Taguchi.

Not hard to imagine he kept doubling down, thinking he could be a hero by scoring a jackpot and winning a larger payout for his neighbors. Taguchi was arrested Wednesday after informing authorities the 46.3 million yen was gone. Now Abu’s taxpayers are on the hook for the cash, which has already been paid out to the other relief recipients out of the town’s budget, something prosecutors say is all on Hanada for trusting a jackass like Taguchi. “The town’s approach was not strict enough, and it allowed the case to develop to this point,” said Osaka prosecutor Masaki Kamei. “Maybe their approach was based on a view of human nature as fundamentally good,” which sounds like a polite way of saying “I work my ass off 60 hours a week putting hardened criminals behind bars for much smaller crimes while this fucking hick mayor just lets a degenerate walk around for a month and gamble away 46.3 million that isn’t his. What the fuck?”

Democrats lead Republicans 47 to 42 on the generic Congressional ballot question of the May NPR/PBS NewsHour/Marist national poll. The finding is a reversal from last month when, prior to the leak of the Supreme Court draft ruling signaling they’re going to overturn Roe v Wade, the same pollsters found the GOP leading Dems 47 to 44, which was the first time in eight years an NPR-PBS-Marist survey showed Republicans ahead on the question. The poll also found overwhelming opposition to overturning the landmark 1973 ruling legalizing abortion nationwide, 64 to 33, with even 34 percent of Republican respondents against it. And remember, this is before it actually happens. Would be a terrible shame for Kevin McCarthy and Moscow Mitch to have to see their “momentum” killed by their party finally getting what it’s worked for decades to make happen.

Georgia Governor Brian “Ku Klux” Kemp leads Trump-endorsed former Senator David “Chickenshit” Perdue by a staggering 32 points in a Fox News poll of the GOP electorate in the Peach State, the latest sign that the Orange God Emperor is headed for his most crushing defeat on his little endorsement checkerboard yet. Maybe next time don’t endorse some cowardly dipshit who didn’t even show up to a debate against his 33 year old opponent in his last statewide election.

The situation is reversed on the Senate side however, as the Fox News survey finds fucking maniac idiot former NFL player Herschel Walker (who we’re pretty sure actually lives in Texas), ahead of his nearest opponent, Gary Black, in that GOP primary race by a staggering 66 to 8.

UK Ministry of Defence Intel Bulletin: “In recent weeks, Russia has fired senior commanders who are considered to have performed poorly during the opening stages of its invasion of Ukraine… Lieutenant General Serhiy Kisel, who commanded the elite 1st Guards Tank Army, has been suspended for his failure to capture Kharkiv… Vice Admiral Igor Osipov, who commanded Russia’s Black Sea Fleet, has also likely been suspended following the sinking of the cruiser Moskva in April… Russian Chief of the General Staff Valeriy Gerasimov likely remains in post, but it is unclear whether he retains the confidence of President Putin… A culture of cover-ups and scape-goating is probably prevalent within the Russian military and security system.”

“Many officials involved in the invasion of Ukraine will likely be increasingly distracted by efforts to avoid personal culpability for operational set-backs… This will likely place further strain on Russia’s centralised model of command and control, as officers increasingly seek to defer key decisions to their superiors. It will be difficult for Russia to regain the initiative under these conditions.”

I can confirm I am at home self-isolating after testing positive for COVID.

I thank all of those people who have sent their well wishes, and I look forward to disappointing all of those who hope that I drop dead. -PH pic.twitter.com/ZmVpCyBjUk

— Pauline Hanson 🇦🇺 (@PaulineHansonOz) May 19, 2022

You experienced it tonight:  the bunch of lonely, basement-dwelling boys who frequent a Trump-loving website called ch00ch00-news which seems to be a place where about eleven people regularly frequent.  On one of their threads, they decided to do what one of them called a “troll bomb” on NatZero.

What’s so cute about it is that they think they’re a bunch of bad asses because they use the f-word, and that using it is some big fucking badge of honor, like the little fuckers aren’t allowed to use the fucking thing.  They’re rolling over themselves cracking up about bad behavior and worse jokes.

Apparently, this ch00ch00 person thinks she’s some kind of rebel because FUCK YEAH!  Seriously, it’s like they’re the Little Rascals thinking they’re the funniest people on Earth because they put a bag of dog poop on Old Man Schultz’s porch… ‘cause nobody’s ever done that before!  Hardy Har Har!