In a letter to House Oversight Committee Chair Congresswoman Carolyn Maloney, responding to her request for information regarding all the top secret classified documents the fat Former Guy stole from the White House when he left office in disgrace in January 2021, Acting Assistant US Attorney General Peter Hyun wrote they won’t be sharing any information with Congress on an ongoing investigation, the Washington Post reports. While it would be nice to know some details about what the Orange Man took, this is probably not good news for him, considering department policies on active criminal investigations. The ones that say don’t talk about them.

Four Tennessee GOP candidate for Congress, including two endorsed by prominent alleged sexual abusers in the Party, have been kicked off the ballot for the 5th District seat by the state Party’s executive committee for failing to have voted in three of the past four primaries, the Tennessee Star reports.

Morgan Ortagus, Robby Starbuck, Baxter Lee, and Stewart Parks were all excluded from the ballot, but they can appeal the committee’s ruling.  Ortagus received the endorsement of accused sexual abuser Donald Trump; accused sexual abuser and guy who never made it to the orgy Madison Cawthorn, a North Carolina Congressman facing a tough reelection challenge, endorsed Starbuck, perhaps thinking he’s a Battlestar Galactica character.

According to the state Party rules, individuals are considered to be not active in state Party politics, and therefore ineligible to run for the Party’s nomination, if they have not voted in three of the last four statewide primaries.  None of those qualified under the tight restrictions, which are also the basis for state Republicans’ voter registration purge recommendations.  The candidates have until Thursday to appeal the committee’s decision, and the slate will be sent to the Tennessee Secretary of State on April 21st.

Kentucky Senator Moscow Mitch told an audience at an event in his home state on Tuesday that Donald freaked out over the 2021 bipartisan infrastructure bill because he “did not want anything like that to happen during his successor’s administration,” Axios’s Andrew Solender reports.

The Orange God Emperor melted down last year over the bill’s passage but had no real substantive reason against it. His impotent rage was ascribed by Politico to “self-interest and personal grievance,” quoting one former Trump aide as saying Republicans in Congress “had four years to do an infrastructure deal with someone who knows infrastructure and actually builds buildings.”

This, of course, ignores that Trump publicly said he fucked off on any chance to do a similar deal with Democrats in early 2019 in a tantrum over investigations into his corruption. “So, I just wanted to let you know that I walked into the room and I told Sen. Schumer, Speaker Pelosi: ‘I wanna do infrastructure. I wanna do it more than you want to do it. I’d be really good at that, that’s what I do. But you know what, you can’t do it under these circumstances. So get these phony investigations over with,'” said the Donald in the White House Rose Garden, literally minutes after he blew up in the meeting with the two Democratic leaders on May 23, 2019.

The South Dakota state House on Tuesday voted 36 to 31 to impeach Republican Attorney General Jason Ravnsborg for running over a guy while reading fucking RealClearPolitics on his phone and driving away, only returning the next morning to find the victim’s body.

My statement on consumer inflation rising to 8.5%, the largest 12 month increase in four decades: pic.twitter.com/qlKlDVU2Vu

— Senator Joe Manchin (@Sen_JoeManchin) April 12, 2022

“One person in Pennsylvania who I will not be endorsing is Bill McSwain for Governor. He was the U.S. Attorney who did absolutely nothing on the massive Election Fraud that took place in Philadelphia and throughout the commonwealth. He said Barr told him not to do anything (because Barr was afraid of being impeached by the Democrats), but he should have done his job anyway. Without free and fair Elections, we don’t have a Country. Do not vote for Bill McSwain, a coward, who let our Country down. He knew what was happening and let it go. It was there for the taking and he failed so badly. Many of the U.S. Attorneys were probably told not to do anything by Barr.”

“Hence, our Country is going to hell. True the Vote’s findings are determinative and Bill McSwain should be ashamed of himself, as should many Republican leaders who didn’t act. They said Philadelphia and Detroit were two of the most corrupt places in the Country, with Georgia being one of the most corrupt states!” says the Fat Orange Bastard in a Tuesday statement.

The funniest part about this is how desperate McSwain was to get on Trump’s good side ahead of this now certainly dead campaign. Last year McSwain wrote a letter to the Donald falsely claiming former Attorney General Bill Barr had ordered him to “stand down” on investigating fake voter fraud in November 2020 as Trump melted down over losing. Barr promptly called McSwain and asked him what the hell he was talking about. According to Barr, McSwain admitted he was full of shit, saying “I can’t have Trump attacking me,” and that McSwain “was in a tough spot because he wanted to run and he needed Trump’s at least neutrality, if not support,” per Barr, who probably won’t be endorsing McSwain’s campaign for Pennsylvania governor either.

Dipshit Republican Wisconsin Assemblyman and GOP governor candidate Timothy Ramthun, famous for his pointless bullshit attempt to “decertify” the 2020 election, submitted timesheets and got paid for two days his chamber was in session, one of which he skipped out of work to hold some stupid “decertification” rally with a guy literally named Jefferson Davis in the state Capitol rotunda, the other to fly to CPAC in Florida, the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel reports.

The two days’ pay amounts to $153, a pittance compared to the hundreds of thousands in taxpayer dollars the Assembly GOP have pissed away on their ridiculous 2020 election “review” and Ramthun was technically present clock in at the start of the sessions, however he missed the “voting on legislation” part of the job when he left early both days. Even more fucking stupid is that one of the votes Ramthun skipped was about changing the rules on elections and voting, which is supposed to be his entire gubernatorial campaign platform.

In regard to the multiple people shot at the 36th Street subway station in Brooklyn, there are NO active explosive devices at this time. Any witnesses are asked to call @NYPDTips at #800577TIPS. Please stay clear of the area. More provided information when available. pic.twitter.com/8UoiCAXemB

— NYPD NEWS (@NYPDnews) April 12, 2022

A man wearing a gas mask opened fire on passengers at the 36th Street DNR station in Sunset Park, Brooklyn on Tuesday morning, hitting at least five people, 1010 WINS reports. Earlier reports of explosive devices are either a false alarm or the devices were inoperable, per the NYPD.

New York Lt Governor Brian Benjamin was arrested Tuesday on federal charges of bribery, honest services wire fraud and falsification of records, the Associated Press reports.

President Biden pushed the button that makes the prices for goods and services in America go higher too hard in March, increasing it 8.5%, CNBC reports. The President probably only meant for about 1 or 2% but he must’ve been distracted by his cell phone ringing when with a robocall or something. Republicans, who have promised to ban the White House inflation button, celebrated the news by encouraging Biden to press it even harder in April and then super hard in October.

UK Parliamentary Under-Secretary of State for the Armed Forces James Heappey told Sky News on Tuesday that “all possible options are on the table in terms of how the West might respond” if Russia is confirmed to be using lethal chemical weapons against Ukrainian soldiers and civilians.

“I think it’s useful to maintain some ambiguity… over exactly what the response would be, but let’s be clear, if they are used at all, then President Putin should know that all possible options are on the table in terms of how the West might respond,” said Heappey. On Monday the UK Defence Ministry warned their intel indicated Russian troops were preparing to use phosphorous munitions against the besieged Eastern Ukrainian port city of Mariupol in their next offensive.

Residents of Shanghai find themselves begging authorities to let them out of their homes and look for food as the ChiCom government’s insane “Zero COVID” lockdown policy begins taking its toll on basic services in the world’s most populated city, Axios reports. “China’s medical system would risk a collapse leading to enormous loss of life if it gives up on epidemic prevention and control,” said Chinese state propaganda agency Xinhua, laughing off the suffering of the city of 25 million.

A former Rocky Mount, Virginia police officer was convicted of multiple felonies for his role in the January 6th domestic terrorist attack, continuing prosecutors’ perfect record in convicting the insurrectionists who opted for jury trials, Politico reports.

Thomas Robertson was found guilty by a jury of all six charges he faced:  obstructing an official proceeding, civil disorder, entering and remaining in a restricted building, disorderly and disruptive conduct in a restricted building, violent entry and evidence-tampering.

A fellow Rocky Mount police officer who attended the January 6th attack testified against Robertson as part of a plea bargain.  Prosecutors relied on a multiple sources of video, from police body cams, security cameras and video the domestic terrorists took on their cell phones, much of it posted online. 

Angry with a policy enacted by Republican Texas Governor Greg Abbott that required commercial trucks coming into the United States from Mexico to be searched, Mexican truckers have blocked the lanes of southbound roadways at ports of entry, the Texas Tribune reports.

Abbott introduced a policy that Texas Department of Public Safety officers, including state troopers, inspect all vehicles coming into Texas for undocumented immigrants and illegal drugs.  Abbott said he was enacting the rule because the Biden Administration withdrew Title 42, a pandemic-related regulation that allowed the United States to prevent anyone from coming across the border, even those seeking asylum.  Abbott, however, must be unaware that most people coming across the border illegally do not use the ports of entry, with the border patrol is intercepting tens of thousands of people each month.

Abbott’s folly has caused miles-long backups on the Mexican side of the border, while Abbott’s police spend around 45 minutes searching each vehicle.  When Abbott demanded that every truck be searched, the truck backup measured five miles through a Mexican border town.  Because the produce is shipped in refrigerated trucks whose refrigeration units run on diesel fuel carried by the truck, many trucks ran out of fuel, leading to truckloads of spoiled produce. 

The Pentagon is actively monitoring reports and attempting to get first hand accounts of an alleged Russian chemical weapons attack in the Ukrainian city of Mariupol, CNBC reports.  There are no confirmed reports, but news accounts from two weeks ago hinted that Russian President Vladimir Putin was contemplating escalating attacks.

“We are aware of social media reports which claim Russian forces deployed a potential chemical munition in Mariupol, Ukraine,” Defense Department press secretary John Kirby said Monday. “We cannot confirm at this time and will continue to monitor the situation closely.”

The use of chemical weapons would likely trigger intervention by NATO and other nations supporting Ukraine, which was invaded by Russia six weeks ago.  British intelligence has also said it is investigating the claim, which was made by the Ukrainian Azov Regiment, an ultra-nationalist part of the Ukrainian National Guard.

Craig Mauger of the Detroit News drew the short end of the straw and was assigned to cover the Macomb County (MI) Republican Party conference, and boy oh boy, is his Twitter feed a fun one to read.  He tweeted that this was unlike any other Party function he’s been to.  Some of the highlights:

• Starting at 6 p.m., the chair told the group the meeting may not end until 2 a.m.  No food is being served, but there’s a cash bar in the main meeting room.
• Attendees started shouting “Lock him up!  Lock him up!” at one of the guest speakers, Stan Grot, a one-time Congressional candidate who withdrew from the race earlier this month.
• Non-members were escorted out of the room while members held the election for officers.  When they were let back, different people were running the meeting.  No explanation was given.  (Same thing happened on the finance committee.)
• Someone started blowing an airhorn in the middle of the main meeting.  No one could find who was blowing the fucking airhorn.  Two police officers were dispatched to the conference room to root out Air Horn Antifa!

Facing a significant rise in new coronavirus cases, Philadelphia city officials will reinstitute indoor masking requirements, hoping to prevent wider spread of the omicron subvariant, the newly dominant variant in the United States, the Associated Press reports.

The number of cases has increased by 50% in the last ten days, the rate at which restrictions would be renewed.  The city has no plans to restrict occupancy of buildings or offices.

While the spike in cases is alarming, the number of people infected is nowhere near the increases seen at the height of the initial omicron wave.  Hospitalizations are current low–just 47 people are currently hospitalized in the city due to Covid-19–and officials want to prevent a surge of hospitalizations in the near future.

Ukrainian leaders are taking credit for the destruction of a munitions depot in the occupied Luhansk region of eastern Ukraine Monday, with a Russian video showing a flattened warehouse, CNN reports.

Russian state-controlled media claims that the airstrike actually hit a warehouse filled with chemical fertilizer, which ignited, destroying the facility and twenty surrounding homes.

A Trump family photo, soon to be found in post offices near you, complete with Donnie’s third set of in-laws, and shockingly, no Lara Trump, her kids, or Kimberly Gargoyle.  And Barron.  (Where’s Barron?  Is he still in New York City with the nanny?)

Frozen food empire princeling Tucker Carlson recently heavily implied to a San Diego-area MAGAchurch that he’s completely unvaccinated against COVID-19, a transgression that apparently is a fireable offense for other employees of the Fox News propaganda network, Voice of San Diego reports. “I skipped the first three, I’m not getting that one either,” said Tucker to the Awaken Church, a far right cult that would probably eject any tan hippie Jew wearing simple robes and sandals who dared walk through their door to preach love and kindness. Fake online school founder Dennis Prager, Russian proxy Candace Owens, small faced man-boy Charlie Kirk, disgraced traitor Mike Flynn, swinger deviant Roger Stone, and totally successful hotel executive Eric Trump have all recently spoken to the extremist congregation. Together they preyed.