US officials tell CNN that Venezuelan dictator Nicolas Maduro’s regime have detained at least five Americans over recent months, adding that some might have been involved in drug smuggling but the precise reasons are still being sorted out. Sources say that Maduro is copying from Vladimir Putin’s go-to move during the Biden Administration as a way of building diplomatic leverage – this coming at a time while convicted felon President Trump threatens war with Caracas.

In an “impromptu” interview granted after Wall Street Journal reporters contacted the White House press office for comment on a story about convicted felon President Trump’s rapidly deteriorating health situation, the demented old asshole began angrily with “Let’s talk about health again for the 25th time. My health is perfect,” and that all the aspirin he takes is why his hands look awful.

“They say aspirin is good for thinning out the blood, and I don’t want thick blood pouring through my heart. I want nice, thin blood pouring through my heart. Does that make sense?” said Trump, who should probably ask a doctor that and not a reporter. “They’d rather have me take the smaller” dose of aspirin. “I take the larger one, but I’ve done it for years, and what it does do is it causes bruising.”

“I have makeup that’s, you know, easy to put on, takes about 10 seconds,” Trump told the Journal when asked about the sensitive topic of his sensitive hands. As for regular exercise that isn’t swinging a golf club, Trump says “I just don’t like it. It’s boring. To walk or run on a treadmill for hours and hours like some people do, that’s not for me.” Maybe because the effort might kill him.

Trump also retconned his MRI from a few months ago, now claiming it was a CT scan. “It wasn’t an MRI,” the notorious liar told the paper he’s suing for $15 billion. “It was less than that. It was a scan.”

Happy New Year! #2026 pic.twitter.com/d9v4NdxqEd

— Eric Adams (@ericadamsfornyc) January 1, 2026

No better day than friggin New Year’s Eve to drop the transcript of the House Judiciary Committee’s closed-door interview with former Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith from earlier this month. Also a good time to recall that Jim Jordan was (A) too much of a pussy to do this in a public hearing and (B) has since been conspicuously silent on how the interview actually went.

As in none of the “WER FILING A CRIME REFERAL 4 JAK SMITH BCUZ HE LIED 2 US N TEH INTURVIEW! HES A TRAITER N HE WUZ INERFEARING N TEH ELECTION SO HEZ GOIN TO JAIL 2 B BUTTRAPED 4 LIFE, LIBS!” So yeah, there’s probably some bad shit in the 255 page transcript.

Actor Michael Rapaport, famous-ish for his minor roles in violent 1990s classics True Romance and Cop Land who also was outspokenly anti-Trump before turning heel a few years ago because who the fuck even knows or cares, announced on his podcast Tuesday a four year-long campaign for the New York City mayor’s office because, per Breitbart, he’s already sick of far left Democrat Mayor-Elect Zohran Mamdani’s administration, which begins in 12 hours and 1 minute from this printing.

“I am coming to take back New York City from him and his entire cabinet of bullshit artists. I am announcing my candidacy to be mayor of New York. Let this roll off your tongue: Mayor Rapaport, Mayor Rapaport. It has a fucking ring. I’m not playing games. I’m not bullshitting around. I will be running for Mayor of New York in a few years, 2028 – that’s when I will get started to take back New York City. Come 2029, there’s gonna be a lot of fucking problems for Zohran the Moron. Bullshit artist, Zohran the Moron,” said Rapaport, whose character got bitten in half by a genetically engineered hyperintelligent shark in Deep Blue Sea and then his foot twitched for a few seconds.

Pretty cool direction. Samuel L Jackson’s character’s death was funny in the way that it was paced and set up but kind of cartoony in execution. Like maybe rather than the shark coming up from a porthole behind him the production team could have set it up where he was standing on like a piece of plywood or whatever and then the fucking shark would pop up from under him. It would’ve been like 97 percent exactly the same but then they’d have the option to use an animatronic shark instead of the CGI that hasn’t aged all that well. Also what the hell happened with Thomas Jane? He was such a great mid-tier lead actor and then freaking Jason Clarke comes out of Australia or wherever he’s from and takes all the roles Thomas Jane used to be casting directors’ top choice for.

In conclusion, Jason Clarke is a perfectly fine AA-lister – and a damn hard worker at that – but he’s missing that mystery secret sauce that Thomas Jane brought to the screen in his performances.

“Much of the Minnesota Fraud, up to 90 percent, is caused by people that came into our Country, illegally, from Somalia. ‘Congresswoman’ Omar, an ungrateful loser who only complains and never contributes, is one of the many scammers. Did she really marry her brother? Lowlifes like this can only be a liability to our Country’s greatness. Send them back from where they came, Somalia, perhaps the worst, and most corrupt, country on earth. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Wednesday, all but commanding his legions to violently extirpate members of the Twin Cities’ Somali community. Again, replace the nouns with Jews and it’s REALLY hard to see how calling this government the “MAGA Reich” is in any way hyperbolic.

By the way, the MAGA kid who filmed that “viral” video the fanboys have been jerking off to the last few days was, shocker, lying about a federally-funded daycare center being an empty shell for fraud as WCCO visited the site and found a very much functioning and operating daycare center.

God willing that this shit doesn’t become a self-fulfilling prophecy. God willing there’s no blood shed over this. God willing these malformed fucking hicks and their Dear Leader get distracted by some other made-up circlejerk soon and leave these people alone. Get worked up about Bud Light again.

WATCH: @TomiLahren asks @PressSec whether other states could be investigated for similar fraud.@PressSec: "Anybody who has been ripping off American taxpayers will be held to the fullest extent of the law." pic.twitter.com/R1kU3OoaMU

— FOX & Friends (@foxandfriends) December 31, 2025

“California and Colorado are two of the TOP OUTBOUND STATES IN 2025 (United Van Lines!) – In other words, PEOPLE LEAVING!!! That’s what bad governors do to even places blessed with beautiful surrounds and climate” posted convicted felon President Trump on Wednesday, as typical, pretty selective in his shitposting and also in ways that don’t make a whole lot of sense.

From the United Van Lines press release that he did not actually link: “United Van Lines released the company’s 49th Annual National Movers Study today, revealing a fundamental shift in American migration patterns as economic headwinds reshape where and why people move… According to the study, Oregon topped the list with the highest percentage of inbound migration (65 percent), moving up from no 8 inbound in 2024, whereas for the eighth consecutive year, more residents moved out of New Jersey than any other state, reporting a 62 percent outbound migration.”

So an extremely Blue State was number one for inflow while the sort of purpler New Jersey, where his dude just lost by 14 percent last month, was again tops in outflow and yet Trump says nothing.

After Jerz in the top seven for outflows were New York, California, North Dakota, Colorado, Mississippi, and Massachusetts. Following Oregon in the top 10 states for inbound moves (why United Vans only listed seven for outflow but 10 for inflow in their release is not clear) were West Virginia, South Carolina, Delaware, Minnesota, Idaho, North Carolina, Arkansas, Alabama, and Nevada. While it largely tracks with most people’s priors about Blue States shrinking and Red States growing, it is definitely more mixed of a bag than those priors would assume, especially that any Red States were ranked that high at all. Trump must really dislike whichever MAGA dickbag’s in the North Dakota governor’s mansion these days too if we’re looking at this strictly by rank.

Israeli dictator Benjamin Netanyahu on Monday asked convicted felon President Trump if the IDF and US military could collab again in a “second round” of bombings of Iran, Axios reports citing sources that said the Orange God Emperor was receptive if there are signs that Iran is rebuilding its nuclear weapons program but that “the tension will be in agreeing” on what those signs would be.

Which is funny because the fat fuck had a complete meltdown back in June after claiming the brief US bombing campaign had “obliterated” Tehran’s nuclear infrastructure only to be contradicted by reporting that it was not in fact totally destroyed and then having a complete meltdown over that, posting “Rumor is that the Failing New York Times and Fake News CNN will be firing the reporters who made up the FAKE stories on the Iran Nuclear sites because they got it so wrong.”

“Lets see what happens?” Trump continued in his June 26 post and – SPOILER ALERT – nothing happened. None of those reporters were fired and the stories were never retracted by either outlet.

Convicted felon President Trump’s Mar-a-Lago would regularly send young female spa workers to Donald’s bestie Jeffrey Epstein’s home nearby to perform massages on him, even though it was widely known among these women that Jeff was “known among staff for being sexually suggestive and exposing himself during the appointments,” the Wall Street Journal reports adding that this continued through at least 2003 when Trump cut him off for going to far with one of the women.

“The polls are rigged even more than the writers. The real number is 64 percent, and why not, our Country is ‘hotter’ than ever before. Isn’t it nice to have a STRONG BORDER, No Inflation, a powerful Military, and great Economy??? Happy New Year!” fat Donald wrote above a graphic the RNC made to celebrate his “over” 50 percent rating in polling by dogshit MAGA outfit Trafalgar.

The juntas running west African nations Mali and Burkina Faso have decided that, rather than bribing or even simply verbally praising Trump Regime officials to get the travel ban against their citizens lifted, they’re instead just going to impose a retaliatory entrance ban on Americans, the BBC reports.

Statement from high school dropout MAGA Congresswoman Lauren Boebert on fat Donald’s veto of her bill to bring clean drinking water to her district: “President Trump decided to veto a completely non-controversial, bipartisan bill that passed both the House and Senate unanimously. Why? Because nothing says ‘America First’ like denying clean drinking water to 50,000 people in Southeast Colorado, many of whom enthusiastically voted for him in all three elections. I must have missed the rally where he stood in Colorado and promised to personally derail critical water infrastructure projects. My bad, I thought the campaign was about lowering costs and cutting red tape.”

“But hey, if this administration wants to make its legacy blocking projects that deliver water to rural Americans; that’s on them. I’m going to continue fighting for Colorado and standing up for our rural communities, our farmers, and every family that deserves safe, reliable drinking water without decades more delay. And I sincerely hope this veto has nothing to do with political retaliation for calling out corruption and demanding accountability. Americans deserve leadership that puts people over politics. This is NOT the last Southeast Colorado will hear from me on this critical infrastructure project,” the statement continued and again, this is friggin dumbass Lauren Boebert saying this.

And getting VERY close to hinting that this is retaliation for the Epstein files thing. Holy shit.

Convicted felon President Trump’s regime on Tuesday announced they will be freezing all federal childcare funding to every entity in the state of Minnesota after some MAGA kid filmed a “viral” video showing a Somali charity-run daycare centers supposedly in a scam racket, the AP reports.

“On December 29, 2025, at about 11:30 am, personnel from the Sheriff’s Search and Rescue team and the Fontana Sheriff’s Station responded to a request to locate an injured 19 year-old male hiker near Devils Backbone. The hiker reportedly fell approximately 500 feet. His friend and hiking companion hiked to an area with cellular service and provided GPS coordinates to assist rescuers.”

“Search and Rescue ground crews began their ascent while Sheriff’s Air Rescue initiated an aerial search. During the aerial search, deputies located the injured hiker and located two additional individuals nearby who have not been identified. Due to severe winds, the helicopter was unable to safely complete the rescue. At approximately 7:30 pm, an airship from Los Angeles County assisted in the effort. High winds again prevented a hoist operation; however, an air medic was hoisted down and confirmed all three individuals were deceased. Due to severe winds, the helicopter was unable to safely complete the rescue,” says a press release from the San Bernardino County Sheriff’s Office.

Damn. Hopefully next time they search for one missing hiker they find three still alive.

WATCH: As federal authorities investigate reports of massive fraud taking place in Minnesota daycares, an unearthed video from a 2018 fraud case shows parents and providers involved in a alleged scheme dating all the way back to 2015. pic.twitter.com/aStdcK8o0n

— Fox News (@FoxNews) December 30, 2025

Warner Bros Discovery shareholders are expected to reject Paramount Skydance’s amended $108.4 billion hostile bid for the media empire, potentially angering convicted felon President Trump, who wants his dudes the Ellisons to take it over and MAGAfy CNN, Reuters reports.

It’s not clear if Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F Kennedy Jr has blamed the COVID-19 vaccines yet for the death of his cousin, 35 year-old Tatiana Schlossberg, who Politico reports died Tuesday at the age of 35 from acute myeloid leukemia, leaving two young children behind.

Kennedy Jr, was the target of intense criticism from Schlossberg in an essay she published last month announcing her terminal diagnosis with the aggressive cancer, writing “As I spent more and more of my life under the care of doctors, nurses, and researchers striving to improve the lives of others, I watched as Bobby cut nearly a half billion dollars for research into mRNA vaccines, technology that could be used against certain cancers,” so yeah Bobby Brainworms probably is going to double down and lament his kin’s death as a tragic consequence of the “clot shot.”

Brainworms has apparently remained silent on the desecration of his uncle and Tatiana’s grandfather John’s memory by his boss, Donald Trump, with whom Brainworms made a pact in 2024 to help Trump get elected in exchange to lead the systemic willful destruction of US public health policy.

You’re just upset bc I’m not afraid of you or your baseless slurs. You’re an old, irrelevant, bitter, angry man who could never make it in the Fox News primetime. We used to laugh at you there for your red-faced tantrums over … everything. https://t.co/BgTyqR7L1e

— Megyn Kelly (@megynkelly) December 30, 2025

Look it’s bad that star New England Patriots wide receiver Stefon Diggs is facing charges felony strangulation/suffocation and misdemeanor assault according to Boston 25 News but at least it wasn’t what Aaron Hernandez did – even if Diggs’s attorney disclosed to the court that his client attempted to reach a financial settlement with the victim, thus effectively an admission of guilt.

Domestic assault is bad. Worse is what Aaron Hernandez did back in 2013. He freaking executed his brother-in-law, shot him like a dog and left his body on a pile of gravel in some shitty industrial park and the dude wasn’t even the first guy Hernandez was credibly suspected of having murdered. No, the now-deceased star tight end was also killed two guys in Boston a year earlier AND also shot his best friend in the eye in a parking lot in Miami. Aaron Hernandez was a freaking monster.

Stefon Diggs is an amateur in comparison. What Hernandez did NOT do however is get arrested while the Pats are going into their first playoff run since 2021. Sucks for them and their asshole fans.