Judge Arthur Engeron evidently did not buy Trump lawyer Alina Habba’s argument that the fat bastard is a member of a “protected class” and ruled Thursday the Donald and his two white collar criminal kids must testify in New York Attorney General Leticia James’s lawsuit aiming to expose the corruption the Trump Criminal Empire have engaged in over the years. God bless my state.

Republican Former Wisconsin Lt Governor Rebecca Kleefisch is walking back a comment from a September 2021 TV interview in which she gaffed and agreed that President Joe Biden legitimately won Wisconsin by over 20,000 votes, the AP reports. Kleefisch, a total Becky who in October 2021 told fans she needed to use ballot harvesting to win the election after which she would ban ballot harvesting, said “I do” when asked by a WISN reporter if Biden had won the state.

On Thursday however, Kleefisch jumped into damage control mode when a radio interviewer asked the same question, saying “I think right now, we have two ongoing investigations to make that determination. One under Michael Gableman, one under Janel Brandtjen, I am watching in real time live with you what those audits are yielding.” When asked to explain the discrepancy, Kleefisch spokesworm Alec Zimmerman said “Yes [Biden] was declared the winner in Wisconsin. The question is whether he won fairly or not. That she cannot say.” The about face was almost certainly prompted by MAGA superstar Assemblyman Timothy Ramthun’s entry into the GOP governor primary race hot off the heels of his circlejerk fantasy of decertifying an election that happened nearly a year and a half ago imploded on contact with the reality of how legislation and voting actually works. No doubt Kleefisch sees Ramthun as a genuine threat to her marginally less extreme vision for incompetent and reactionary conservative governance in the cheesehead state.

What is Yellowstone besides America’s oldest and most popular national park, replete with natural wonders, a part of the only known natural waterway system in which a small and determined-enough fish from the Atlantic Ocean could theoretically use to swim to the Pacific Ocean, a Paramount+ streaming series about ranchers or something, site of a potentially apocalyptic volcanic eruption that would end human civilization if it were to erupt with full force, and the real-life inspiration for the iconic Jellystone National Park from the Yogi Bear cartoons?

Turns out it’s all of those things AND the place where in certain sections people could theoretically commit murder with 100% constitutional impunity! Per a report in the Independent, a Democratic Idaho state lawmaker is pushing the legislature to address a little quirk in the charter for the park which states the sole jurisdiction in which any crime committed within Yellowstone’s boundaries is the District Court of Wyoming. This is good and fine for most cases as the majority of the park lies within the state, but runs into a brick wall were those crimes to be committed within the Idaho portions of Yellowstone. The Sixth Amendment of the Constitution states a person has a right to an impartial jury of “the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed,” but since no one lives in the Idaho portion of Yellowstone it is possible – as Michigan State University law professor Brian Kalt discovered in 2005 – that a charge could be tossed on that loophole.

Per the Independent, Idaho’s state and federal lawmakers are trying to figure out the best solution in light of the recent murder of Gabby Petitio (which did not occur within the “Zone of Death,” but Kalt and others had been concerned over the possibility before her body was found in the Bridger–Teton National Forest in Wyoming and her asshole boyfriend killed himself anyway), as well as a popular TikTok video explaining the loophole and its inclusion in the plot line of an episode of the Paramount+ TV series. “It’s the most encouraging development in this story in the 17 years I’ve been working on this,” Kalt told the Independent about the legislative momentum.

Battle ready ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ pic.twitter.com/KyZqLeFMoX

— New Jersey Generals (@USFLGenerals) February 17, 2022

During a New York State court hearing to decide whether Trump can be deposed in the New York Attorney General Leticia James’s lawsuit against him, Team Orange lawyer Alina Habba told Judge Arthur Engeron the fat bastard is a member of a “protected class” and as such James’s lawsuit is some kind of civil rights violation. Habba did not actually specify what class Trump is supposed to be a part of, but simply rambled a bunch of statements James made promising to take down the Trump Criminal Empire if she was elected during her 2018 primary campaign.

Habba then asked “I want to know, Mr. Wallace, Ms. James, are you gonna go after Hillary Clinton for what she’s doing to my client?” Habba said, referring to NY AG counsel Kevin Wallace. “That she spied at Trump Tower in your state? Are you gonna look into her business dealings?” to which Engeron basically told her to shut the fuck up already, saying “The Clintons are not before me.”

Trump’s lawyers argued for a stay in the civil suit throughout the hearing, claiming that it’s solely a fishing expedition to gather evidence for a criminal prosecution, to which a famous fictional lawyer once said “STOP BREAKING THE LAW ASSHOLE!” Judge Engeron told the court he would make a decision on whether James can depose the Orange God Emperor by 3pm EST on Thursday, so stay tuned to National Zero for us to report the ruling before The Hill does, come hell or high water.

Speaking to the United Nations security council, US Secretary of State Antony Blinken told the panel that “Conventional attacks are not all that Russia plans to inflict upon the people of Ukraine. We have information that indicates Russia will target specific groups of Ukrainians.

The communications director for the Ontario Solicitor-General’s office was fired Wednesday after her name surfaced in a leak of donor data from alt-right crowdfunding site GiveSendGo, CTV News reports. Marion Isabeau-Ringuette had donated $100 to the anti-vax assholes whose blockade has paralyzed the nation’s capital city Ottawa for weeks with no signs of letting up. “For the communications director to be financially supporting an unlawful, illegal occupation is definitely concerning,” said NDP MPP Catherine Fife, adding “Who was donating, why were they donating, and did this contribute to the non-action that happened on the ground in Ottawa?”

Cheating punk ass Russian figure skater Kamila Valieva came in fourth place in the women’s figure skating event at the Beijing Winter Olympics on Thursday, the AP reports. It was a pyrrhic victory for karma overall however, Valieva’s Russian teammates Anna Shcherbakova and Alexandra Trusova took the gold and silver medals, while Japanese figure skater Kaori Sakamoto won the bronze.

Whether Valieva will be sent to the Luhansk People’s Republic, dressed in a Ukrainian military uniform, and ordered to round up and execute patients in an assisted living facility is unknown, but it would seem like a viable way to restore honor to her name, Russian-style.

The House January 6h Select Committee are considering subpoenaing Ivanka Trump to force her cooperation with the investigation to find out more about what exactly happened in the White House on January 6th, 2021 when she and other staffers attempted unsuccessfully for hours to get her fat idiot father to call the insurrectionists off, the Guardian reports.

Last month committee Chair Congressman Bennie Thompson offered a “friendly” invitation for the ex-First Daughter to come and speak with them about the state of mind in the White House, to which she responded quickly but without a definitive no, though it’s obvious at this point there hasn’t been any movement on getting her to answer some questions.

Ukrainian military officials and Russian-backed separatists accused each other on Thursday of violating cease-fire agreements on the volatile front lines of the long-running conflict, as Moscow continued amassing troops along the borders of Ukraine, the Wall Street Journal reports

Leaders of the Russian puppet states Luhansk People’s Republic and the Donetsk People’s Republic said Ukrainian forces had launched grenades and mortars at their territory, while Ukrainian officials said Kyiv-controlled areas of Luhansk came under sustained fire Thursday morning. A kindergarten in the town of Stanytsia Luhanska took a direct hit, injuring two teachers, but thankfully no children. A high school and a home in the village of Vrubivka were also hit, but there were no immediate reports on casualties there, according to the local authorities.

The escalating crossfire comes amid movement in the Russian Parliament to officially recognize the two rebel regions, an action almost certainly engineered to create a pretext for the full on invasion of Ukraine by Russian and Belarusian military forces, with the goal of stamping out a nascent democracy in the backyard of corrupt shitholes whose leadership prefer authoritarianism and kleptocracy since that’s more fun and easy to manage than shit like elections and free expression.

UPDATE 2/17/21 9:29 AM EST: In related news, the Russians have expelled the deputy chief of the US diplomatic mission in Moscow, the AP’s Carl Quintanilla reports. Separately on Thursday, President Biden told reporters the risk of a Russian attack on Ukraine is “very high” and that he has no plans to speak with Russian President Vladimir Putin.

Washington DC Metro Police intel division Lt Shane Lamond has been placed on leave as the department, FBI, and DOJ investigate alleged improper contacts between Lamond and former Proud Boys leader Enrique Tarrio during protests in 2020, the Washington Post reports.

DC Police Chief Robert J Contee did not name Lamond at a Wednesday press conference, however Tarrio confirmed to the Post it was indeed Lamond, telling the Post he and Lamond would exchange texts during protests about the locations of counter-demonstrators for the Proud Boys to go and confront. “[Lamond] was just a liaison officer for when we held rallies,. They’re just trying to get anybody at this point,” Tarrio said of the investigation. “I only told him, ‘We’re coming into town and we’re going to hold this protest.’ That’s as far as the relationship went.”

This would not be the first time others have alleged a friendly relationship between the DC police and Proud Boys. “I’m hearing more and more politicalization of policing, and our law enforcement is in the middle. We want them to act accordingly to maintain the civil rights of our community, and when they don’t, they need to be held accountable. When there is a perception that there is a side being taken, then our job is to mitigate that perception,” then-Interim DC Deputy Mayor for Public Safety and Justice Dr Roger Mitchell Jr, MD told the Post back in December 2020 in response to reports of Proud Boys and cops posing for pictures together amid violent clashes between MAGA protestors and counter-demonstrators in the aftermath of Trump’s loss… and before whatever friendly relationship there had been ended acrimoniously the very next month.

The DOJ is expected to announce on Thursday a new enforcement initiative to identify companies exploiting supply chain disruptions to raise prices and make increased profits in violation of federal antitrust laws, the AP reports. Spearheaded by the DOJ’s antitrust division and the FBI, the program comes amid ongoing supply chain and labor struggles caused by the COVID-19 pandemic. “Temporary supply chain disruptions should not be allowed to conceal illegal conduct,” said Antitrust Division head Assistant AG Jon Kanter. “The Antitrust Division will not allow companies to collude in order to overcharge consumers under the guise of supply chain disruptions.”

Missouri Republicans and Moscow Mitch are terrified over the prospect that disgraced former Gov Eric Greitens could become the nominee to fill the Senate seat held by retiring Senator Roy Blunt, Politico reports. Making matters worse is that Trump, despite a personal dislike for Greitens, could just end up endorsing him anyway simply to be sure he’s backing the eventual winner.

A federal judge in Georgia has halted the Pentagon from enforcing its coronavirus vaccination mandate for all members of the military, saying the Air Force cannot discharge a Christian officer who says she cannot take the inoculation because it was made with fetal stem cells, NBC News reports.

Saying her “body is the temple of the Holy Spirit,” the unnamed officer asserted she “sincerely believes that receiving a vaccine that was derived from or tested on aborted fetal tissue in its development would violate her conscience and is contrary to her faith.”

U.S. District Judge Tilman E. Self III, a Trump appointee, wrote about his skepticism that the military seriously considered religious exemptions.  “With such a marked record disfavoring religious accommodation requests, the Court easily finds that the Air Force’s process to protect religious rights is both illusory and insincere,” he wrote. “In short, it’s just ‘theater.’”

This is VILE.

A skull & crossbones with a pacifier on weapon of war.

Made to look “cute” to appeal to kids.

The manufacturer calls this a “JR-15.”

Every NRA-backed politician should condemn this. pic.twitter.com/VmsqaiCuEM

— Gavin Newsom (@GavinNewsom) February 17, 2022

After the Supreme Court allowed Texas’ abortion law–which allows unlimited civil suits to be filed and financial penalties awarded against people enabling abortion seekers–to go into effect last year, Democratic California Govern Gavin Newsom proposed using a similar measure to go after gun manufacturers.  With the civil suit settlement against Remington by survivors of the people killed in the Sandy Hook school shooting, civil suits could find more traction in courts.

Hundreds of Catholics in Arizona are wondering if they are, in fact, Catholics after it was revealed that a long-serving local priest used the wrong word in the baptism ceremony, likely meaning their baptisms are invalid, the Associated Press reports.

Rev. Andres Arango, who has served in the diocese for 16 years, recited, “We baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit” during the rite.  In Catholic ritual, however, the priest should have said “I baptize you…,” not “we.”  Catholics believe that Jesus Christ Himself is baptizing the individual, being channeled through the priest, so Fr. Arango’s baptism, in fact, didn’t stick.

In a note on the diocese’s website, Arango wrote: “It saddens me to learn that I have performed invalid baptisms throughout my ministry as a priest by regularly using an incorrect formula. I deeply regret my error and how this has affected numerous people in your parish and elsewhere.”

“John, there is no question I was spied on,” Trump “body man” Corey Lewandowski declares without evidence, riffing off the false claim, based on an intentional misreading of a Durham court filing, that Hillary Clinton was somehow spying on Trump although there is no evidence of any such malfeasance.  “There’s no question that the Trump team was spied on during that campaign.  There’s no question that they destroyed a number of our lives and reputations, all for political purposes.”

Lewandowski didn’t need any help destroying his reputation.  The alleged adulterer assaulted reporters on the campaign trail, and he was accused by a pop singer of sexually harassing her at a 2017 holiday party.  And he was fired from the 2020 campaign for making sexual advances to the wife of a prominent GOP donor.

Three times over the past weekend, Russian military fighters harassed and shadowed US Navy planes on patrol in the Mediterranean, at one point coming within five feet of a anti-submarine aircraft, ABC News reports.

P-8 Poseidon anti-submarine aircraft were buzzed by unspecified Russian aircraft as they were patrolling the eastern Mediterranean, with the US, Russia and other countries’ military on edge with a potential conflict on the horizon because of Ukraine.

“While no one was hurt, interactions such as these could result in miscalculations and mistakes that lead to more dangerous outcomes,” Department of Defense spokesman Capt. Mike Kafka said. “The U.S. will continue to operate safely, professionally and consistent with international law in international waters and airspace.  We expect Russia to do the same.”

“Much of the now-uncovered espionage campaign of the Democrats breaking into the White House and my New York City apartment, took place after the 2016 Election as yet another way to undermine the upcoming 2020 Election. This spying into the Oval Office continued for a long period of time and further served to undermine and discredit the 2020 Election, along with massive ballot harvesting, phantom voters, and so many other things that made the Election a sham. The voting numbers were big and determinative!” said the Former Guy in one Wednesday evening statement.

In another statement Trump said, “Why isn’t the media asking who gave Crooked Hillary Clinton’s ‘plumbers’ their orders? With Watergate it was the coverup that turned out to be the far bigger crime. With Hillarygate it is the Mainstream Media Coverup that is almost as big of a crime as the act of treasonous espionage itself. It is showing the world why our media is truly the enemy of the people!” which is a natural fit since he already used OBAMAGATE in 2020.