Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum on Wednesday announced she’s pressing charges against some asshole who approached her on the street while she was talking to voters Tuesday and then proceeded to grope and try to kiss her, the AP reports. “No man has the right to violate that space,” Sheinbaum told reporters at her daily press conference. “I decided to press charges because this is something that I experienced as a woman, but that we as women experience in our country. I have experienced it before, when I wasn’t president, when I was a student,” the Chief Mexecutive added.

Mexico City Mayor Clara Brugada had announced overnight that the man, who has yet to be identified publicly, was apprehended. Whoever he is it’s plain he’s not a star. Because as a famous leader beloved by certain kids of men across the world once said, when you’re a star they let you do it. You can do anything, even to the president of a country of over 100 million. When you’re not a star you get arrested and thrown in a Mexican jail that is unlikely to be pleasant, let alone safe.

PROMISE MADE, PROMISE KEPT: NO MERCY FOR CONVICTED COP KILLERS. pic.twitter.com/US4JnkgEji

— The White House (@WhiteHouse) November 5, 2025

“Private sector employment increased by 42,000 jobs in October and pay was up 4.5 percent year-over-year according to the October ADP National Employment Report® produced by ADP Research in collaboration with the Stanford Digital Economy Lab (‘Stanford Lab’). The ADP National Employment Report is an independent measure of the labor market based on the anonymized weekly payroll data of more than 26 million private-sector employees in the United States.”

“ADP’s Pay Insights captures over 15 million individual pay change observations each month. Together, the jobs report and pay insights use ADP’s fine-grained data to provide a representative and high frequency picture of the private-sector labor market,” says ADP’s monthly jobs report press release, which will have to do if the Bureau of Labor Statistics has been mothballed.

Smarting from brutal Republican defeats across the map on Tuesday, neckbeard Vice President JD Vance the next morning gave a little pep talk to the fanboys, posting “I think it’s idiotic to overreact to a couple of elections in blue states, but a few thoughts: (1) Scot [sic] Pressler [sic], TPUSA, and a bunch of others have been working hard to register voters. I said it in 2022, and I’ve said it repeatedly since: our coalition is ‘lower propensity’ and that means we have to do better at turning out voters than we have in the past,” and just gotta stop him right there on that admission:

They would’ve lost last year if they had not pulled out all the stops to sucker in the “lower propensity” dipshits whose TikTok feeds and bullshit podcasts papered over all the fascist aspirations and outright lies of their campaign. Actual MAGA would not have been big enough to win with. Team Orange needed the low-info dumbasses who bought into completely unrealistic promises to lower grocery prices on day one. What the fuck do you think is going to happen on an off-year election day after nine months of grocery prices continuing to increase? You don’t need a goddamned PhD in political science to have anticipated that it wasn’t going to be a good night for the GOP just on the propensity angle but the margins speak to far deeper problems.

This is it. Either Los Supremos write convicted felon President Trump yet another blank check to do whatever the fuck he wants or they save him and his party from themselves.

Japan’s military leaders on Wednesday deployed troops to the country’s northern regions to put an end to an increasingly violent insurgency by the country’s ethnic bear minority, Reuters reports. The operation is centered on the small mountain town of Kazuno on the country’s main island of Honshu, where the bear insurgents have been seen patrolling the hills at alarming frequency in recent weeks.

“Even if just temporary, the SDF’s help is a big relief,” said Yasuhiro Kitakata, who Reuters says “oversees the town’s bear department,” which is uh, well it seems like the town has a dedicated “bear department” of an unknown size and budget. “I used to think bears would always run away when they heard noise, but now they actually come toward you. They’re truly frightening animals.”

The densely-populated archipelago nation has seen more than 100 bear attacks, at least 12 of them fatal, since April. The wave has yet to spur any sort of scientifically illiterate speculation that the ursines are waging a separatist campaign to challenge human dominion over parts of the islands, perhaps to establish a semi-autonomous province or even their own fully sovereign breakaway state, but damned if these sons of bitches aren’t observably madder than they used to be.

A pair of Dem special election wins ended the 13-year supermajority the MAGA party had enjoyed in the Mississippi state Senate on Tuesday, the Mississippi Free Press reports. The specials, eight in total plus two in the state House, were mostly ordered by a federal court to comply with Section 2 of the Voting Rights Act, though some had been due to vacancies. The difference between a majority and supermajority is mostly symbolic however as the GOP still holds a trifecta in Jackson.

The fat bastard is not happy with his lowly servants, telling the Senate GOP assembled that “I thought we’d have a discussion after the press leaves about what last night represented, and what we should do about it. And also about the shutdown, how that relates to last night. I think if you read the pollsters, the shutdown was a big factor, negative for the Republicans.”

A “White House ally” reacting to the brutal losses in the off-year elections on Tuesday night tells Politico Playbook that “it’s not doomsday, but the tea leaves are not good.” The Beltway insider-scoopy newsletter then writes that “Republican strategists spy a Democratic voter base now more motivated than their own, and swing voters who feel the president has not delivered on his cost of living pledge.” Said laundry, shaving, and shampoo-averse podcaster Steve Bannon after the gloomy results poured in: “The midterms start tonight and the warning signs are flashing.”

Along with the Virginia governorship, the now extremely large Dem majorities projected in that state’s Senate and House of Delegates which now leaves a clean path for redistricting in the Commonwealth, the California Proposition 50 referendum to offset the Texas GOP’s mid-decade gerrymander was the most nationally significant contest Team Blue was running in on Tuesday and, again based on nothing but just a vibe, National Zero projects that Gavin Newsom’s retaliatory move has succeeded and probably about five Republican-held congressional districts will be nuked.

In related news Kansas Republicans on Tuesday announced that they had, for now at least, failed to get their shit together to hold a special session needed to nuke Dem Sharice Davids’s seat.

The Pennsylvania state Supreme Court has this weird-ass “retention vote” rule in which the justices have to face voters to stay on the bench rather than actually compete against an opponent. A loss would have meant that three of the five Dems would’ve been removed and the seats would be open until 2027. NBC News reports that’s all moot as voters turned out and retained the three on Tuesday.

“‘TRUMP WASN’T ON THE BALLOT, AND SHUTDOWN, WERE THE TWO REASONS THAT REPUBLICANS LOST ELECTIONS TONIGHT,’ according to Pollsters,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday after something of a rough go of it in several East Coast races and another big L looming in California, admitting his own failure to influence outcomes.

It was a decided switch from his earlier post expressing optimism about some random Orthodox Jewish community’s turnout, reading “I just heard that 32,000 Orthodox Jews around Lakewood and Jackson, New Jersey, have showed up BIG for Jack Ciattarelli. My friends in this Great Community know how important this Election is to New Jersey, and to our Country. There is still time to vote! I am asking ALL PATRIOTIC CITIZENS OF THE GREAT STATE OF NEW JERSEY, including all Kollel and Yeshiva students who haven’t voted yet, to please GET OUT AND VOTE FOR JACK CIATTARELLI. You can win this for Jack! VOTE FOR JACK, WHO HAS MY COMPLETE AND TOTAL ENDORSEMENT!”

Later, with his election night postmortem out of the way, Trump then moved onto matters more important to him and his second administration with “JUST OUT: The 60 Minutes interview of Donald J Trump, on CBS, Sunday night, was the highest rated 60 Minutes IN YEARS!”

KAYLEIGH MCENANY: "We are in uncharted waters with this Democratic Party."

"As we sit here, in New York City — 9% of the entire American economy — could be setting out on a grand social experiment of socialism that has demonstrably failed in the Soviet Union and beyond, but… pic.twitter.com/vXof5ozOtW

— Fox News (@FoxNews) November 5, 2025

Extremely charismatic and talented leftist Dem Zohran Mamdani defeated disgraced former Governor Andrew Cuomo’s entitled, limp dick independent campaign and made an afterthought of now two-time loser now-former AM radio host Curtis Sliwa on Tuesday, becoming the first ever Muslim mayor of New York City, per National Zero’s gut feeling-based decision desk.

There’s something to be said about what a stubborn, thick-foreheaded bastard Curtis Sliwa is. However cartoonish he is, he never compromised nor even considered it when his boss and so many of his would-be allies – not to mention the goddamned president of the United States and the leader of his own party – turned against him to back fucking Andrew Cuomo because “socialism.”

“If perchance I lose on November 4th, I will improve, not move. I was born in this city. I was almost killed in this city. I’ll die in this city. I’ll be buried in this city,” Sliwa told CNN on Monday. Respect, non-grudging at that, for the red beret-wearing vigilante who never pretended to be anyone else.

As for the other authentic candidate in the race, the actual winner, Mamdani’s prooooobably going to have more trouble than he expects with fulfilling his agenda, but to be seen as constantly trying to meet those expectations while actually governing is a large part of the battle.

Despite his campaign being declared DOA due to some pretty deranged texts sent a few years ago, Dem former Virginia state Delegate Jay Jones has defeated incumbent Republican Attorney General Jason Miyares, a bunch of people are saying on Twitter. National Zero’s position is that winning was the only thing that mattered and Jones should resign a few minutes after he’s sworn in so Governor-Elect Abigail Spanberger can then appoint a replacement who isn’t a freaking maniac.

Neckbeard Vice President JD Vance’s brother David Bowman lost his bid to unseat incumbent Dem Cincinnati Mayor Aftab Pureval by 63 percent of the vote at 22 percent counted, the AP reports.

Dem Congresswoman Mikie Sherrill defeated now two-time loser Jack Shittarelli Ciattarelli (three if you count a primary defeat) and will succeed Phil Murphy to become the 57th Governor of New Jersey, National Zero projects again based on a hunch from the returns that show the Democrat with a pretty freaking large lead of 26 percent at 16 percent of precincts reporting statewide.

This one’s going to sting for the fanboys. They REALLY wanted it for bragging rights and it was seen as their only real chance they had for a W on Tuesday. Expect a good “MAGA Land” for this one.

A Union Pacific freight train locomotive completely OWNED a car carrier with several vehicles – a Chevy Corvette included – in the town of Shertz, Texas on Sunday morning, News4SA reports. No one was injured in the incident that was once foretold at HO-scale setup versus Hot Wheels cars.

Dem former Congresswoman Abigail Spanberger defeated Republican Lt Gov Winsome Sears in Virginia’s gubernatorial election on Tuesday, National Zero projects without any data whatsoever.

Call it a hunch. The forgone conclusion is the least interesting storyline to the Old Dominion State on this off-off-year election night as the real questions are of whether incumbent Republican Attorney General Jason Miyares can hang on against sort of psychotic former state Delegate Jay Jones. Possibly even more worth watching is the outcome in the state legislature. Though Dems are heavily favored to hang on to their majorities in both chambers, how much they can run up the score may still actually provide some valuable insights to the potential size of the swing voter backlash against the MAGA Reich in districts won by convicted felon President Trump’s campaign of lies last year.

“The majority of Floridians are hanging on to the ‘American Dream,’ but rising housing costs and everyday expenses make it difficult to achieve, according to a new poll from Florida Atlantic University’s Business and Economic Polling Initiative (BEPI). The high cost of living is a pressure point for the state, as 90 percent of residents are at least somewhat concerned about inflation, and 80 percent are concerned with housing affordability. Living paycheck to paycheck due to affordability issues has also become the norm, with 43 percent of respondents saying they live paycheck to paycheck, while 26 percent said they do so occasionally. Only 48 percent have an emergency fund covering at least three months of expenses. Nearly 50 percent of Floridians surveyed say they have considered moving out of Florida due to the cost of living,” the New York Post did not report on Monday after Florida Atlantic University printed that press release.

They did not, as far as search results indicate, print a story about it on Tuesday. The omission of coverage stands in contrast to their alacritous reporting of some bullshit MAGA pollster’s purported finding that a quarter of all New Yorkers were planning on leaving the city in the likely event that socialist Dem Zohran Mamdani is elected mayor. The Florida one would be a bigger deal, wouldn’t it?