According to USA Today, comedienne Cecily Strong was drawing on her personal experience of having an abortion for her Goober the Clown sketch during Saturday Night Live “Weekend Update” segment.  The sketch is being hailed by women’s rights advocates for its bold and straightforward portrayal of a woman who had an abortion.

“According to Mike Lindell tonight, starting tomorrow, any MyPillow home-delivered packages will now come with printouts explaining how China ‘stole’ the 2020 election.” —Zachary Petrizzo of Salon

On Tuesday afternoon National Zero clipped a report from a tweet thread by Allison Gill aka “Mueller She Wrote” of a pretty freaking explosive allegation that Vice Former Guy Mike Pence and his staff’s security key cards were disabled on the morning of January 6th, before the Capitol riot even happened. Now some National Zero readers were understandably skeptical, not so much that they didn’t believe it as they’re sharp folk and to them extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence in the form of further corroboration. Goddamned snobby educated people.

Anyway, while this NBC News report from the night after the Capitol riot does not amount to corroboration, it sure as hell is a hard shove in the right direction. The precise nature of Marc Short’s banning from the White House on the 6th after Pence let Trump know his intentions on the Electoral College count is not clear, but it’s far from unreasonable to assume it included a deactivation of his Executive Branch security badge. Now National Zero has two articles on Pence shooting it down from January 6th: the first a clip from a Reuters report at 7:07 AM EST, the second being Pence’s public statement at 12:55 pm EST. What’s missing here is what Trump was reacting to, when he reacted, and when Short found out he was barred from the White House.

What we would give to be a fly on Mike Pence’s head when that was going on… If anyone has any more specific details about this small but important in retrospect item please speak up below.

“I despise vaccinated people who are smug in their protection who urge unvaccinated people to exercise their freedoms.  It’s like the guy in the street telling the guy on ledge to jump,” Geraldo tells Fox News host (and vaccinated guy telling unvaccinated people to exercise their freedoms) Sean Hannity.

“U.S. judge rules that the congressional committee probing the Jan. 6 Capitol attack can access some of Trump’s White House records, rejecting an argument by his lawyers that telephone records, visitor logs, and other documents should be hidden” Reuters reports.

UPDATE 11/9/2021 7:05 PM EST: We’re not 100% that Reuters is definitively reporting a ruling in this case because we’re not seeing it from anywhere else. It’s possible they got it confused with Judge Chutkan’s rejection of Trump’s really stupid injunction request early Tuesday.

UPDATE 11/9/2021 7:11 PM EST: Politico’s Kyle Cheney reports “Reuters may have a secret source here, but an hour later no ruling has been published and none of the parties to the case say they’ve seen it yet” so Reuters probably did fuck this up.

UPDATE 11/9/2021 9:19 PM EST: “US District Judge Tanya Chutkan denies Trump request to block National Archives from turning over White House visitor and telephone records, among other materials, to the Jan. 6 select committee. Chutkan says in ruling denying Trump the ‘public interest lies in permitting – not enjoining – the combined will of the legislative and executive branches to study the events that led to and occurred on Jan 6′” reports the Guardian’s Hugo Lowell.

“So of course, as usual, just like BLM didn’t help Black people, I-I know a couple’a blind people,” Fox News host (and guy nodding vigorously to prove to you he’s sincere) Tucker Carlson claims.  “I’ve never heard a blind person complain about anything.  People in my life who are the least likely to complain about anything are visually impaired.  I don’t know if there’s a connection, but I’ve certainly noticed it.”

Because if Tucker doesn’t see it himself [pun intended], it doesn’t exist.  Therefore, whiny blind people don’t exist.

Hey @washingtonpost, you left out the phone numbers:

Rep. Fred Upton 202-225-3761
House Switchboard 202-224-3121 pic.twitter.com/1y3ch1dEEY

— Marjorie Taylor Greene 🇺🇸 (@mtgreenee) November 10, 2021

And just in case any National Zero fans missed the earlier reporting on non-MAGA Republican Michigan Congressman Fred Upton being the target of Greene’s mentally ill fanbase, here it is.

CNN:  “Anchorman Brian Williams, a 28-year veteran of NBC News and MSNBC, said Tuesday that he is leaving the company at the end of this year. “This is the end of a chapter and the beginning of another,” Williams said in a statement. ‘There are many things I want to do, and I’ll pop up again somewhere.’ Williams expressed deep gratitude to NBC, saying the network “is a part of me and always will be.’

“He is about to become a free agent for the first time in decades. For the past five years, Williams has anchored ‘The 11th Hour,’ an end-of-the-day newscast and political talk program. CNN Business reported in August that his contract was expiring in the next six months and that he wanted to move off the late-night hour.

“Now he is doing it. But he added in Tuesday’s statement, ‘I ask all those who are a part of our loyal viewing audience to remain loyal. The 11th Hour will remain in good hands, produced by the best team in cable news.’ Williams’ exit from NBC has an end-of-an-era feel. He was a key player in the launch of the MSNBC news channel in 1996, manning breaking news coverage and a prime time recap of the day. Then he became one of America’s best-known newsmen during his decade at the helm of the “NBC Nightly News,” one of the most-watched news programs in the US.

During the days and weeks after the Columbine High School shooting in 1999, the leaders at the National Rifle Association nearly set a precedent that would’ve confounded the people in charge of the NRA today:  they were going to express sympathy to the victims.

According to secret recordings of discussions among NRA leaders that NPR obtained, the association leaders considered providing a $1 million fund to help the victims of the school shooting, which started a new era when school shootings are someone commonplace.  The conversations were secretly recorded by one of the parties involved, and NPR verified their authenticity with multiple others.

The tapes also demonstrate the contempt NRA leaders had for their members, with staff calling the more radical members “hillbillies”, “wackos”, “nuts”, “crazy” and “fruitcakes” who might go off script after Columbine and embarrass them in the media.  At the time of the school murders, the NRA was planning its annual convention in Denver, 15 minutes north of Columbine, and some leaders proposed delaying or canceling the convention, but it wasn’t feasible, they decided.  They could also use the convention as a platform to promote their agenda without it being dominated by the extremists.

NBC News:   “A Montana National Guard soldier became the first woman to finish the U.S. Army’s sniper course at Fort Benning, Georgia, military officials said.  The woman, who was not identified in a news release from the U.S. Army on Monday, completed the seven-week class Nov. 5.  The military describes the course as a program aimed at turning students into “the most feared weapon on the battlefield.

“The soldier enlisted in the National Guard last December and was sent to Fort Benning for basic and advanced individual training. While there, training staff and others recommended that she take the sniper course because of her ‘superior performance,’ the Army’s release said.

“’We are extremely proud of this soldier’s achievement and recognize that this is a milestone for not only Montana, but the entire National Guard and Army,’ Maj. Gen. J. Peter Hronek, the adjutant general for Montana, said in a statement.  Students in the course learn fieldcraft, marksmanship, mission planning, advanced situational awareness, urban operations and other battlefield tactics.

“Lt. Governor Janice McGeachin has been a true supporter of MAGA since the very beginning. She is brave and not afraid to stand up for the issues that matter most to the people of Idaho, a beautiful State that I won by 30.8%. Janice is great on Election Integrity, will always fight for strong Borders, our cherished Second Amendment, American Manufacturing, School Choice, and our wonderful and hardworking FARMERS. I am giving Janice McGeachin my Complete and Total Endorsement to be the next Governor of Idaho. She will make a fantastic Governor, and will never let you down!” says the Former Guy in an act of political barbarism against a sitting GOP governor.

McGeachin’s batshittery hasn’t been reported on much here at National Zero, but she has a very long and sordid history of usurping Governor Brad Little’s power pretty much every time he leaves the state (Idaho law stipulates the Lt Gov becomes acting Gov in that event). In May for example, McGeachin just unilaterally repealed the state’s mask mandate while Little was at a Republican Governor’s Association conference in Tennessee. Fun times in MAGA world.

“With his poll numbers sagging and the criticism raging, venture capitalist and Senate hopeful J.D. Vance’s campaign appears to be dodging the spotlight.  The Daily Beast has learned the tech investor has now backed out of two upcoming debate appearances pitting him against the GOP primary field. The news comes as Vance falls more than a week behind his personal financial disclosure filing due date, which itself had already been extended for 90 days.

“Asked why Vance ducked the debates, campaign spokesperson Taylor Van Kirk said in an email that Vance already had ‘prior commitments when we found out about the dates of the forums,’ adding that ‘the campaign was not notified of the days of the forums until October 25.’  But emails reviewed by The Daily Beast challenge that claim.

“Two emails confirm that the primary candidates, including Vance, had been informed of the dates several weeks in advance. The campaigns were also notified of one final change, related to an event in mid-November, in an email sent Sept. 27. That email, which The Daily Beast has reviewed, lists specific dates, locations, and estimated time slots for each of the upcoming debates.”

“South Dakota lawmakers convened Tuesday for a special legislative session to begin the formal process of investigating and considering the impeachment of Attorney General Jason Ravnsborg…South Dakota Attorney General Jason Ravnsborg will face a committee of house lawmakers who will determine whether [he] should face an impeachment vote in the full house,” reports KFYR-TV. “An official time for when the committee will consider impeachment has yet to be released, however, it’s likely they will meet early Wednesday morning.”

“On September 12, 2020, Ravnsborg was traveling late on a highway near Highmore after attending a political fundraiser. Ravnsborg called 911 and explained to a dispatcher that he had struck something with his car and was unsure what he had hit. Ravnsborg discovered the body of 55-year-old Joseph Boever the next morning when returning to his vehicle. Ravnsborg later told investigators he thought he struck a deer while driving home. [He] avoided a trial and took a plea deal where he pled no contest to two misdemeanor charges. South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem says she was ‘outraged’ at the result…and called on him to either resign or be impeached. Three South Dakota law enforcement organizations have joined the chorus calling for [his] resignation: the South Dakota Fraternal Order of Police, the South Dakota Chiefs of Police Association, and the South Dakota Sheriffs Association.”

NBC News:  “A female high school ice hockey goalie who left in tears after being viciously heckled at a game last month returned to the ice Monday night, this time to cheers from a sold-out Pennsylvania arena that included friends, fans and an Olympian.

“Students from Armstrong High School chanted vulgarities at the Mars Area High School’s female goalie during an Oct. 28 game between the teams.  Videos surfaced on social media showing a group of dozens of students in the stands chanting offensive and sexist comments directed at the goalie, with no one stopping them. By the second period of the game, the goalie was in tears, Mars coach Steve Meyers told the Associated Press.

“Armstrong students were later barred from attending the school’s hockey games and the team was placed on probation for the remainder of the 2021-22 season, including the playoffs, the Pennsylvania Interscholastic Hockey League said Thursday. Siblings of varsity players can attend games only if with a parent or guardian.  Monday night’s game was a triumphant match for the goalie, who was met with support from over 800 people packed into the UMPC Lemieux Complex, the practice and training facility for the Pittsburgh Penguins, NBC affiliate WPXI of Pittsburgh reported.  Fans were seen holding signs that said, ‘Girls are strong!’ and ‘We belong on the ice!’

“Why is it that Old Crow Mitch McConnell voted for a terrible Democrat Socialist Infrastructure Plan, and induced others in his Party to do likewise, when he was incapable of getting a great Infrastructure Plan wanting to be put forward by me and the Republican Party? He continuously said he couldn’t get it passed, just like I had to go around him to get the very popular Southern Border Wall built (which caused great delay – but could now be completed in one month by Biden). All of the Infrastructure money, $2 Trillion, would have gone into real Infrastructure (roads, bridges, tunnels, airports, etc). Also, why did Mitch give the Democrats a two-month hiatus, just long enough for them to figure it all out, when they were completely ready to fold?” – Orange Caesar.

Associated Press:  “Nobel Prize laureate and education activist Malala Yousafzai announced her marriage on Twitter on Tuesday.  The 24-year-old Pakistani human rights campaigner who was shot by the Taliban for daring to want an education posted images on Twitter of her celebration on Tuesday with Asser Malik and her family.

“’Today marks a precious day in my life,’ Malala wrote. ‘Asser and I tied the knot to be partners for life. We celebrated a small nikkah ceremony at home in Birmingham with our families. Please send us your prayers. We are excited to walk together for the journey ahead.’  Yousafzai was targeted by the Taliban for her relentless objections to the group’s regressive interpretation of Islam that limits girls’ access to education. She was shot while returning home from school in Pakistan’s scenic Swat Valley in 2012.

“She traveled to the English city of Birmingham for medical treatment and her family eventually joined her. She went back to school as soon as she could but kept campaigning for the right to an education for others. She graduated from Oxford in June, 2020.  Her Twitter feed was flooded with expressions of goodwill.”

Without specifying any of the actual circumstances of the contact, Capitol rioter Jacob “QAnon Shaman” Chansley’s attorney submitted a sentencing memoranda for his client Tuesday that says “On January 14, 2021, the Defendant, by and through his counsel, reached out to then White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows to confirm a request on behalf of the Defendant for a Presidential Pardon of the Defendant and other peaceful individuals who had accepted the President’s invitation to go to the Capitol. President, the Defendant was forced to reconcile his expectation that he would be pardoned with the reality that the now former President Trump not only had not done so, but was no longer in a position to do so” which is… Did Mark Meadows, Chief of Staff to the President seriously actually pick up the phone and answer a call from a random defense attorney?

“NASA on Tuesday delayed its plans to return astronauts to the surface of the moon, announcing the agency is targeting 2025 for a crewed landing. NASA’s new schedule represents a delay from the previous goal of 2024, set by former President Donald Trump’s administration in 2017 – which represented an ambitious push from the agency’s target of 2028 before Trump took office. ‘The Trump administration’s target of 2024 human landing was not grounded in technical feasibility,’ NASA administrator Bill Nelson told reporters on a conference call” CNBC reports.

Had he still been in office, Trump would probably be pretty pissed over this – or the delay wouldn’t have happened at all and astronauts’ lives would be risked by his recklessness. Per a 2019 report in New York Magazine previewing a book by former White House aide Cliff Sims, Trump offered NASA unlimited funding if the agency would find a way to land an American astronaut on Mars by 2020 so he could campaign for reelection on the achievement. When former NASA Chief Robert Lightfoot Jr told him it just wasn’t going to happen, Trump was “visibly disappointed”, Sims wrote.

“It’s definitely gotten worse because no one–no one–is holding him accountable, not Kevin McCarthy, not Senate Leader Mitch McConnell, not Senate Leader Chuck Schumer, not Speaker Nancy Pelosi, not Attorney General Merrick Garland,” Jennifer Gosar, sister of Republican Arizona Congressman Paul Gosar states, about her brother’s violent and provocative statements and social media posts. “No one holds him accountable.  And this is something I have to openly wonder:  does he have to act on it himself before we believe that he is an absolute– he’s a sociopath.  And what’s more, we know from everything we have seen–and certainly Attorney General Garland has seen more of it than I–that there is evidence to show that he was in a conspiracy to commit treason against the United States of America.  Where is the accountability?”

It’s a bird that teaches children things.

Like how to stay healthy.

That’s it. pic.twitter.com/0w0UCcCwDL

— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) November 9, 2021