Wall Street Journal: “A disparate group of American veterans, military contractors, aid workers and former spies is scrambling to get as many people out of Afghanistan as they can before President Biden shuts down the window for rescues in coming days. Even as tens of thousands of Afghans who helped the U.S. and a large number of American and other foreign citizens remain stranded, Mr. Biden is sticking by his plan to withdraw the remaining military forces from Kabul’s U.S.-controlled airport by Aug. 31. Erik Prince, the American defense contractor, said he is offering people seats on a chartered plane out of Kabul for $6,500 per person.”

“U.S. and NATO forces are sending special rescue teams into Taliban-controlled areas of the city to spirit their citizens into the airport. And countless Afghans who thought the U.S. would protect them after having assisted the U.S.-led coalition forces in the past two decades are now realizing that they will most likely be left behind to face Taliban wrath alone. Aid organizations have been told by Western governments that evacuation flights won’t continue past Friday, as the U.S. military will need the days remaining until the Aug. 31 deadline to remove its own equipment and troops from Kabul. Private rescue efforts are facing growing obstacles this week, just as the urgency grows. Chartered planes are flying out of Kabul with hundreds of empty seats. New Taliban checkpoints on the road to Pakistan have made driving out of the country increasingly risky. Confusing bureaucratic hurdles have prevented countless people from leaving Afghanistan.”

“A 55-year-old man from Indiana is in stable condition this morning after a bear attack in Denali National Park and Preserve. The visitor, who had been hiking alone when the attack took place, was treated for puncture wounds to his calf, left ribs, and left shoulder by medical providers who were traveling on a park transit bus. He was then transported via ambulance to Fairbanks Memorial Hospital. At approximately 8:19 pm on August 23, 2021, park rangers received a 911 call from a park transit bus driver who had picked up an injured visitor at the Eielson Visitor Center.”

“The man, who has not been identified, was hiking alone in the Thoroughfare Pass area of the park to the south of the Park Road when the attack took place. While hiking through dense fog, the visitor stated that a grizzly with two 1 or 2-year-old cubs nearby charged at him from bushes approximately 100 feet away. He was able to deploy bear spray, but only after the bear had knocked him down. The bears departed quickly after the attack, and the visitor was able to walk 1.5 miles to the Eielson Visitor Center where he met a park transit bus. Medical personnel who were vacationing in the park and riding the bus administered first aid while the bus driver relayed the need for an ambulance to the bus dispatch office. Due to the apparent defensive nature of this attack, there are no plans to locate the bear involved. Female bears with cubs are naturally defensive of their young, especially when surprised. There is no indication that this bear is unusually dangerous” – US National Park Service Press Release.

Bloomberg: “‘We are Team Putin. We are United Russia,’ read the backdrop to a gathering organized by the pro-Kremlin party earlier this month. September’s parliamentary elections are edging closer, and the bloc has reached for its trump card. Vladimir Putin does not officially lead United Russia and usually takes pains to stand apart from the parliamentary fray. But these are not usual times. The regime, tired and under strain, has an eye on the presidential election in 2024. It urgently needs the ruling party to narrow the yawning gap between its unimpressive popularity ratings and the votes required to secure a supermajority in the Duma, crucial for any constitutional tinkering in advance of that vote. United Russia’s support stands at around 27%, pedestrian especially for a party with vast administrative resources at its disposal, while trust in Putin tops 60%.”

“Crucially, the party has to manage that differential in the face of growing political apathy and distrust in institutions, plus the reality of squeezed household incomes, higher prices and a pandemic that has been killing near-record numbers of Russians daily. Trickiest of all, it needs to succeed without overdoing the perception of electoral meddling, for fear of restarting protests that, even after a crackdown over the past few months, could mean a return to the unrest seen after 2011’s parliamentary vote. Those polls, observers said, were marked by manipulation and ballot-stuffing. Elections matter to authoritarian states, contrary to common perception, and Putin has long relied on ballots to bolster his image as a leader of unparalleled popularity and invincibility.”

“Algeria cut diplomatic relations with Morocco on Tuesday, citing what it called hostile actions by its most populous neighbour with which it has had strained relations for decades. Speaking at a news conference in Algiers, Foreign Minister Ramdane Lamamra accused Morocco of using Pegasus spyware against its officials, supporting a separatist group and failing in bilateral commitments, including on the Western Sahara issue. ‘The Moroccan kingdom has never stopped its hostile actions against Algeria,’ he said, announcing the immediate cessation of ties. Consulates in each country, however, will stay open, he added. Morocco’s Foreign Ministry said in a statement published on social media that it regretted what it called an unjustified decision and said it would remain a ‘credible and loyal partner’ to the Algerian people” – Reuters.

-Afghanistan
-Russian collusion
-Benghazi

Notice a trend?

— Rep. Jim Jordan (@Jim_Jordan) August 24, 2021

AP: “A Connecticut woman who had a package stolen from her front step discovered the culprit was a black bear. Kristin Levine, of Bristol, posted home surveillance video on Facebook on Monday, showing the bear sauntering across her driveway with the Amazon package in its mouth. ‘Yea so if anyone sees an Amazon package in the Chippens Hill area with my name on it… feel free to bring it back?’ Levine wrote in her post. Levine told NBC Connecticut she received an alert from her security system about five minutes after Amazon dropped of the package and was ‘taken aback because I wasn’t expecting anyone else in my driveway.’ The bear, she said ended up dropping off the parcel in a neighbor’s yard. It was apparently not interested in the contents: several rolls of toilet paper, she said. ‘It was hysterical like I said, I knew nothing in there was going to be irreplaceable so it was a fun afternoon for sure,’ Levine said.”

“The Federal Communications Commission today proposed a $5,134,500 fine against John M. Burkman, Jacob Alexander Wohl, and J .M. Burkman & Associates LLC for apparently making 1,141 unlawful robocalls to wireless phones without prior express consent in violation of the Telephone Consumer Protection Act. This is the largest TCPA robocall fine ever proposed by the Commission.”

“It is also the first action where the FCC was not required to warn robocallers before robocall violations could be counted toward a proposed fine, per Congress’s recent amendment of the TCPA. The FCC ‘s Enforcement Bureau investigation found that the calls in this case were apparently prerecorded and made to consumers’ wireless phones without the required prior consent. Subject to narrow exceptions, the TCPA prohibits making prerecorded voice calls to wireless phones without the consent of those receiving the calls regardless of the content of the calls. The robocalls in this case, made on August 26 and September 14, 2020, used messages telling potential voters that, if they vote by mail, their ‘personal information will part of a public database that will be used by police departments to track down old warrants and be used by credit card companies to collect outstanding debts.’ The Commission began its investigation following consumer complaints and concerns raised by a non-profit organization” – FCC press release.

First, do no harm*

*if you agree with the patients’ political views pic.twitter.com/w40dthjff5

— Jenna Ellis (@JennaEllisEsq) August 24, 2021

Obligatory explainers: The Babylon Bee is often described as the right wing answer to The Onion, as in its content is completely satirical (National Zero is only in part semi-satirical as, aside from our long-ass April Fool’s Day arc, we do not make parody news articles, we merely sarcastically and satirically switch editorial positions and feign colossal ignorance on the fly without rhyme or reason – whilst still reporting or analyzing real people, places, and events). Calling the Bee the “right wing Onion” might be selling it a little short, because that would imply it’s complete shit. It’s actually not bad at all and shows there are still some Conservatives capable of laughing at themselves.

Jenna Ellis is the former Team Kraken backbencher and co-star of some of Rudy Giuliani’s most ridiculous post-election press conferences, who recently was flagged by Facebook for associating with folks deemed “extremists” by their algorithm and this part of the explainer was recycled from another National Zero article about when Ellis left the GOP permanently.

NBC News: “House Democrats voted Tuesday to move forward with President Joe Biden’s top legislative priorities after resolving a standoff between leadership and centrist rebels, who threatened to block the multitrillion-dollar safety net expansion. The House voted 220 to 212 to pass the ‘rule’ and instruct committees to write the $3.5 trillion bill, which can pass both chambers without any Republican support. To placate the centrist Democratic holdouts, Speaker Nancy Pelosi committed to a Sept. 27 deadline to vote on the $550 trillion Senate-passed infrastructure bill.”

“All of the Democrats backed the vote, and no Republican supported the measure.  Although the procedural vote was a win for Biden, the last-minute clash provided a glimpse into the challenges that await Democrats as they aim to write a sprawling spending bill and pass it with wafer-thin majorities in both chambers. They have three votes to spare in the House and none in the Senate.”

🚨Important Announcement: NRA Annual Meeting Cancellation

Full statement here➡️https://t.co/SGwUBj4wgG pic.twitter.com/fIdx1BZNhW

— NRA (@NRA) August 24, 2021

Failed Republican Congressional candidate from Maryland Kimberly Klacik is suing conservative pundit Candace Owens for $20 million, saying an Instagram post Owens made claimed falsely that Klacik was a former stripper, a pimp for her husband’s strip club, and a fraud, the Baltimore Sun reports.

In the 44-minute video which Owens posted on Instagram Live June 22nd, Owens also claims Klacik used illegal drugs, misused campaign funds and ran an illegitimate charity organizations.  Klacik says Owens accusations led to a publisher canceling a book deal and fellow Republicans shutting her out of public appearances and fundraisers.  In the video, Owens admits that she’s not an “investigative journalist” and could not confirm any of the accusations she leveled.

In 2020, Klacik challenged Democrat Kwesi Mfume for the Maryland Congressional seat previously held by the late Elijah Cummings.  Klacik lost that race, as she did the special election held after Cummings’ death in 2019. 

“Former University of Georgia football star Herschel Walker – at the urging of former President Donald Trump – launched a campaign Tuesday for the U.S. Senate, bringing both his celebrity and his untested political background to one of the premier national contests on the 2022 ballot. The former player becomes the most prominent Republican to line up against Democratic U.S. Sen. Raphael Warnock in next year’s contest, ending intense speculation that he’ll move from his home in Texas to Georgia to run for the office. Earlier this month, he registered to vote in Georgia. Walker didn’t immediately comment, though he filed paperwork Tuesday establishing his candidacy. A formal announcement is expected within days” the Atlanta Journal Constitution reports.

Justice Department: “An Oklahoma man was arrested on Aug. 19 for crimes related to the breach of the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6, which disrupted a joint session of the U.S. Congress that was in the process of ascertaining and counting the electoral votes related to the presidential election. Benjamen Scott Burlew, 41, of Miami, Oklahoma, is charged with federal offenses that include assault in special territorial jurisdiction and acts of physical violence on restricted grounds. Burlew made his initial court appearance in the Northern District of Oklahoma on Aug. 20.”

“According to court documents, Burlew was captured in two videos engaging in a physical assault against a credentialed media member who works as a photographer for the Associated Press. As depicted in the video, the photographer was pulled down a set of stairs near the lower west terrace of the U.S. Capitol Building by two unknown assailants. While attempting to avoid confrontation with these unknown assailants, the photographer relocated his position elsewhere on the stairs, at which point the photographer was aggressively confronted by Burlew. As alleged, after that confrontation, Burlew, together with other assailants including Alan William Byerly, grabbed the photographer and pushed him, then shoved and dragged him parallel to the stairs. Byerly was indicted on Aug. 20 in the District of Columbia in connection with this conduct and for assaulting a District of Columbia Metropolitan Police Officer during another, separate incident.”

The state of Arkansas has no intensive care unit beds available for coronavirus patients throughout the entire state as the delta variant sweeps across the region, Republican Governor Asa Hutchinson announced Tuesday.

According to the Associated Press, a record high number of patients are on ventilators, and hospitals are working with state health officials to open additional ICU beds for coronavirus care.  As of Monday, the state had a total of 22 ICU beds open, but only a handful were able to handle adult coronavirus patients; they were expected to be filled Tuesday.

“Everyone should know the strain this puts on our hospitals and the need to get our vaccinations and how critical our bed space is,” Hutchinson told reporters at a news conference.  Just 40% of eligible Arkansans are fully vaccinated for the coronavirus, versus a 51% national average.

“America is under threat from ideologies that are eroding our founding principles. The American way of life, including federalism, free speech, and the rule of law, is being undermined and distorted by Big Government, Big Tech, and Big Media. The America First Policy Institute established the Constitutional Litigation Partnership to restore the most fundamental rights of all Americans. The Partnership will fight to rebuild a government that is of the people, for the people, and by the people” harks the “Constitutional Litigation Partnership” at TakeOnBigTech.com.

More prominent than the “mission statement” (?) section are the “STORE” and “DONATE” buttons. The “GET INVOLVED” button brings up a modal version of the very same contact form that is immediately below the single paragraph. This contact form might as well be the “DONATE” button as users who fill it out are dooming themselves to endless emails and text messages shaking them down for donations – ostensibly for the effort to sue Facebook, Google, and Twitter for having the temerity to ban racist right wing propaganda from their platforms – but more likely in actuality a slush fund supporting the former president and his minions’ lavish lifestyles.

“A sham candidate for the Florida Legislature pleaded guilty Tuesday to being part of a vote siphoning scheme in last year’s election and will testify against a former Republican state senator who prosecutors say ran it. Alex Rodríguez agreed to testify against former Sen. Frank Artiles after pleading guilty in Miami-Dade County to accepting illegal campaign donations and lying on campaign documents. He will receive three years probation if he cooperates, including a year of house arrest. He had faced a possible 20-year prison sentence.”

“Prosecutors charged Artiles in March with felony campaign fraud charges, saying he secretly gave more than $44,000 to Rodriguez so that he could run in the 2020 election to confuse voters and siphon ballots from then-Democratic incumbent, Sen. Jose Javier Rodríguez. The funds allegedly came from a dark money source. Artiles has pleaded not guilty” – AP.

CNN: “The news Monday that former NFL star Herschel Walker has registered to vote in Georgia is terrible news for Senate Republicans hoping to retake the majority next November. While it’s impossible to predict exactly how a campaign between Warnock and Walker would play out, what is clear is that the former NFL star would enter the race from that starting point. That reality has already led some Republican strategists close to Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell to speak out about the dangers of nominating Walker. ‘This is about as comprehensive a takedown as I’ve ever read,’ tweeted Josh Holmes, a longtime McConnell adviser, earlier this month of the AP story. ‘My lord.’ McConnell himself has yet to speak out publicly against Walker but, according to sources cited by CNN, has made his reservations very clear privately.”

“The problem for McConnell is that – as I noted above – if Walker is a candidate, he has a very high likelihood of being the party’s nominee given his celebrity and the likely strong backing he will have from the former president. (In March, Trump put out a statement that read in part: ‘He would be unstoppable, just like he was when he played for the Georgia Bulldogs, and in the NFL. He is also a GREAT person. Run Herschel, run!’) Given the current power dynamic in the Republican Party, it’s not at all clear that a McConnell-backed candidate like Loeffler or Perdue could overcome Walker – even with the various issues I documented above surrounding him. Which would then mean that in one of the GOP’s best pickup opportunities in the country, the party would put forward a candidate who is an opposition researcher’s dream – not to mention someone who has never run for any office prior to 2022.”

Heading out on the water this summer? Follow these #FDNYSmart tips to ensure a safe summer boating season. See more at https://t.co/NpwdRdlElY pic.twitter.com/YD6kjoYtSg

— FDNY (@FDNY) August 24, 2021

New York City Fire Department Marine Company 6 Captain Lou Guzzo indirectly admitted that his department’s most invaluable weapon against fires actually is very dangerous on its own when accumulated in large quantities in a public safety video posted on social media Tuesday. Guzzo did not elaborate in the video, but research shows that the compound – known as dihydrogen monoxide – the department uses to defeat fires is just as deadly to human beings as smoke inhalation, as it similarly prevents respiration when it accumulates in the lungs.

Public documents reveal that the FDNY actually has a large stockpile of dihydrogen monoxide available for its use, on demand, on virtually every public roadway in the city, though the precise nature of the distribution network is unknown. Some reports indicate these dihydrogen monoxide distribution valves are disguised as the city’s parking ticket revenue generating devices/open-air dog toilets. An FDNY representative hung up when asked to comment by a National Zero reporter.

“Scott Presler, a political operative identified as a former top strategist for an anti-Muslim group, canceled an appearance Wednesday at Gavin Park that was touted by U.S. Rep. Elise Stefanik and the local Republican Party. Saratoga County Chairman Carl Zeilman said that a case of COVID in RISE PAC, of which Presler is a member, forced the cancellation” the Albany Times-Union reports.

“On Wednesday, Stefanik, the GOP congressional conference leader, enthusiastically tweeted what she described as ‘massive news’ – the upcoming Wednesday evening, Aug. 25, appearance of Presler, whom Stefanik described in the tweet as an ‘American Patriot,’ at the campaign event at Gavin Park in Wilton. Stefanik, who was not expected to attend the event, appears to have deleted the tweet. Presler’s cancellation was preceded by a wave of outrage from Democratic chairs in Stefanik’s district and others who condemned Stefanik and the Saratoga County GOP for hosting Presler, whose marches against Muslims are listed on the SPLC’s Hate Watch list.”

What a risible crock of shit. Stefanik was just pushing the envelope, trying to build up some Q street cred and get their votes and money but conveniently uses a “hoax” virus to order it cancelled when the heat got to be too much rather than risk whatever moderate appeal she still has.