Two Florida men’s lawsuit against the Hershey’s candy company alleging that the lumpy shapes of Reese’s Peanut Butter Pumpkins not matching the “cool looking carving of a pumpkin’s mouth and eyes as pictured on the product packaging” somehow constituted fraud or something was tossed by a federal judge on Friday, Reuters reports. “Put simply, plaintiffs do not allege that the products were unfit for consumption, did not taste as plaintiffs expected, or otherwise were so flawed as to render them worthless,” wrote Judge Melissa Damian as she spiked the complaint seeking $5 million.

“The Canadian Football League (CFL) is making a bold move to evolve the game with a set of changes centred upon entertainment and innovation. At a media conference, Commissioner Stewart Johnston announced that changes will be instituted over the next two seasons through a phased approach. The most significant modifications will come in 2027 with goalposts being moved to the back of the end zone and the field being re-sized. In anticipation of these structural changes, beginning in 2026, the rouge will be modified and adjustments will be introduced to ensure more consistent game flow,” says a statement from the Canadian Football League’s leadership.

Ahhhh, there it is. One of those grating idioms all too common in political media – especially in this fucked-up era – being used to describe something literally even if it’s kind of a stretch outside the usual beat of this site. The Canadian Football League’s moving the goalposts. For real.

“Last Wednesday, we made the decision to suspend production on the show to avoid further inflaming a tense situation at an emotional moment for our country. It is a decision we made because we felt some of the comments were ill-timed and thus insensitive. We have spent the last days having thoughtful conversations with Jimmy, and after those conversations, we reached the decision to return the show on Tuesday,” said Disney/ABC in a statement on Monday.

Wow. Trump and his fanboys are going to have an even bigger shit fit after this one.

“Today, the US Department of the Treasury’s Office of Foreign Assets Control (OFAC) is sanctioning the Lex Instituto de Estudos Juridicos LTDA (Lex Institute) for its support to Brazilian Supreme Federal Court (STF) justice Alexandre de Moraes (de Moraes). De Moraes was designated by OFAC on July 30, 2025, for using his position to authorize arbitrary pre-trial detentions and suppress freedom of expression in Brazil. Also designated today is Viviane Barci de Moraes (Viviane), de Moraes’ wife, who serves as the head of the Lex Institute,” says a US Treasury press release.

“‘Alexandre de Moraes is responsible for an oppressive campaign of censorship, arbitrary detentions, and politicized prosecutions – including against former President Jair Bolsonaro,’ said Secretary of the Treasury Scott Bessent. ‘Today’s action makes clear that Treasury will continue to target individuals who provide material support to de Moraes as he abuses human rights.’ Today’s action is being taken pursuant to Executive Order (EO) 13818, which builds upon and implements the Global Magnitsky Human Rights Accountability Act and targets perpetrators of serious human rights abuse around the world,” the press release continued and now’s a good time to remind readers Bolsonaro literally plotted to kill Alexandre De Moraes after he lost his reelection bid to Luiz Lula in 2022.

Also this is why your coffee’s expensive. Because Trump has a hard-on for Lula and De Moraes.

Hint: Former Navy SEAL and CEO of some industrial concern you’ve never heard of Bill Berrien’s campaign ads in the Wisconsin GOP gubernatorial primary feature him saying “take it from a dad and a coach, I will keep boys out of our daughters’ sports and locker rooms,” while another praises convicted felon President Trump for “protecting our daughters’ sports” from trans athletes.

This is a tough one. You’re going to have to think really hard here, even with that hint.

YES! It’s trans porn! The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel tracked down Berrien’s account on blogging platform Medium and found that, among others, the family values conservative follows a performer named “Jiz Lee,” lol. The Journal-Sentinel goes on to mention that Berrien also follows Octavio Morrison, author of posts headlined “7 Types of Orgasmic Sensations” and “3 Terrible Reasons to Have a Threesome” and Emma Austin, who calls herself “a wholesome perv with a touch of whimsy” and posted items such as “Pegging is A-OK,” and “I Love Getting Jackhammered.”

“Not your typical men’s health magazine headlines,” the Journal-Sentinel notes dryly.

Berrien also upvoted posts headlined “My Husband Loves Watching Me Flirt With Another Man” and a post by Lee, self-billed as a “queer, trans, non-binary adult performer,” on “ethical porn.” The MAGA Republican’s campaign claims that Berrien had no idea Lee is trans. Guess it isn’t “fake news.”

Ryan Routh, the self-represented defendant in last year’s second major assassination attempt against convicted felon President Trump, rested his case after calling three witnesses Monday morning, two of whom testified to his character and the third a firearms expert who ABC News reports had difficulty following Routh’s line of questioning about whether the gun – a Chinese knockoff of an AK-47 – would’ve actually been able to hit Trump from Routh’s position.

The case will now go to closing arguments after which Routh will in all likelihood be convicted and then personally executed by Judge Aileen Cannon in the courtroom, possibly Saudi Arabian style.

Leftist New York City all-but-Mayor-Elect Zohran Mamdani will pull out of a Thursday night town hall event hosted by New York City’s Disney-owned ABC affiliate WABC in protest of the mega-corporation’s caving to the Trump Reich by canceling Jimmy Kimmel’s show, AMNewYork reports.

“ABC pulled Jimmy Kimmel off the air after the FCC sought to pressure them. The message that it sends to each and every American across this country is a message the First Amendment is no longer a right that can be counted on, but rather that it is government which will determine what should and should not be discussed, what can and cannot be spoken. And we cannot normalize these kinds of acts nor offenses. These must be the basis upon which we act,” said Mamdani.

I swear Cory Mills gets dumber with every statement he makes. It's almost like his brain short-circuits when he's called out on his bullsh*t.

This post doesn't say or prove anything. This is what he does. Blows hot air hoping no one will notice. And you're not allowed to… https://t.co/3V0BEcvdRl

— Rep. Nancy Mace (@RepNancyMace) September 22, 2025

Circumspect by Mace’s standards. The tweet inside the tweet is Mills defending himself in direct response to Mace’s campaign of online harassment against him apparently started when he voted against her censure of Ilhan Omar because Mills himself was facing censure. What’s interesting though is how Crazy Nancy’s raging at her fellow Republican for valor theft – which of course should be disqualifying but it’s muddy and in any case is kind of the least of among his sins – and not her raison d’etre like abuse of women and revenge porn. Almost like she doesn’t want to kick up too much dust and “start a conversation” that could, you know, make her Dear Leader look bad.

Former Obama campaign pollster Cornell Belcher, who recently joined disgraced former Governor Andrew Cuomo’s all-but doomed mayoral bid tells New York Magazine that there is a path for Cuomo to win. Not a big one. “I am not going to blow smoke. It is a narrow path,” said Belcher, whose nickname could be Corn Belcher, adding “But I haven’t worked for a candidate in the past decade who didn’t have a narrow path to victory,” but not naming which ones actually won.

“There is very much a path here for us,” another Cuomo minion said. “But the first step is that Eric Adams has to get the fuck out of this race.” Referencing Adams’ constant back-and-forth, New York Magazine dryly notes that “It doesn’t help that the Cuomo campaign’s multipronged approach rests on something happening that keeps not happening, despite constant rumors that it might.”

The rest of the plan goes that it’ll bring in a shit ton of money because donors will see a non-Zohran Mamdani candidate as more viable and then something something the MAGA people will turn against Curtis Sliwa because he and convicted felon President Trump don’t really like each other.

The consequences for ousted former South Korean President Yoon Suk-Yeol’s fucking stupid December 2024 decision to impose martial law based on some bullshit he saw on YouTube continued to reverberate Monday as Han Hak-ja, the 82 year-old widow of the country’s very culty Church of the Unification – aka the Moonies – faces the clink in an investigation into allegations she bribed Yoon’s wife, now-jailed Kim Keon Hee, with handbags and jewelry, Reuters reports.

Han, called “True Mother” by followers, was married to Unification Church founder Moon Sun-Myung until his death in 2012. The Moonies’ tentacles reach deep into right wing parties across the globe, most notably in the US where their hardcore MAGA gun fetishist local branch run by one of Moon’s sons is called the Church of the Iron Rod and in Japan where former Prime Minister Shinzo Abe was blown away with a homemade shotgun in 2022 by a man who blamed Abe’s thrall to the Moonies for his mother’s financial ruin to the cult’s extortionate tithing, leading to their dissolution by Tokyo.

Nowhere else is that less true than in their home country and as such South Korean President Lee Jae-Myung might want to tread carefully when dealing with the leader of a cult whose adherents number in the millions – especially when that leader is a frail 82 year-old woman who showed up to court in a wheelchair. You don’t need to be in a cult to at least recognize those sort of optics can be risky. Then there’s that the Iron Rod church sent at least 80 of theirs to the Capitol on January 6th, 2021. Who knows what they’re going to do in South Korea if their “True Mother” is locked up? Lee should be looking at how the Japanese government wiped the Moonies out systematically as his model instead of parading an old lady’s scalp over some chickenshit bribery charges.

"This isn't a Marvel movie — it's reality."

Luigi Mangione's lawyers file a motion to remove the death penalty, citing his arrest as a ‘Marvel movie’ perp walk. | @JonathanTurley pic.twitter.com/vC46zxtKDk

— FOX & Friends (@foxandfriends) September 22, 2025

Singaporean officials on Sunday announced that they’re going to hang someone’s guy on Thursday, the South China Morning Post reports. The guy, who was able to get heroin and other stuff if you had his number, stopped dealing in 2011 because the cops found him with 45 grams of the shit.

Someone’s friend’s cousin Datchinamurthy Kataiah, 39, will be the tenth convict taken to the gallows at Changi Prison in the southeast Asian city-state year-to-date 2025, the eighth for drugs.

The Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee pulled in $7.1 million during August, handily beating the NRCC’s $4 million month total, Punchbowl News reports, adding that the Dems also beat the Republicans in the Senate but at a smaller $5.6 million to $4.7 million gap.

The two congressional campaign committees are doing better relative to Republicans than the DNC itself which, although its $11 million was nearly on par with the RNC’s $11.1 million haul, the Donk party’s deep in a hole at $14.9 million cash on hand versus main Republicans’ $83.9 million.

Our teams at Turning Point just pulled off the largest memorial in known history in a matter of a few days.

It was the most attended, most attempted, most viewed.

We had no issues.

Glory be to God.

We love you CK.

— Tyler Bowyer (@tylerbowyer) September 22, 2025

Well maybe the 12+ hour MAGA campaign event on Sunday “the largest memorial in known history,” if known encompasses Tyler Bowyer’s knowledge and he deliberately avoided expanding said knowledge by taking about 10 seconds to have Grok check into that for him. “The claimed 100 million viewers is substantial but aligns with or is slightly below figures for [Princess] Diana (2.5 billion) or Pope John Paul II (2 billion). Modern streaming likely inflated Kirk’s numbers, but without verified data (eg, from Nielsen or YouTube analytics), it’s hard to confirm it exceeds these precedents,” the sometimes problematic chatbot said in response to Bowyer’s claim.

Brazilians in all 26 of the country’s states – over 80,000 of them in the two largest cities of Sao Paulo and Rio De Janeiro alone – turned out Sunday in protest of a bill introduced by right wing legislators that would both pardon convicted felon former President Jair Bolsonaro and his allies as well as make it harder to arrest or launch criminal proceedings against lawmakers, the AP reports.

Missing from that article however is the likelihood that the bill will actually pass Brazil’s Senate – the lower House did pass it on Tuesday of last week – then pass judicial review and get enacted and that is effectively none. The protests, which were unusually large for a left-wing demonstration in the country, were more of a preventative outcry than anything reactive to potential amnesty for Bolsonaro and the rest of the fucking assholes that went all MAGA after he lost in 2022.

A man who did business with “viral” Netflix documentary douchebag “Tiger King” Joe Exotic died Saturday after suddenly coming down with a severe case of tiger-itis during a live performance with one of the massive predatory cats at the Growler Pines Tiger Preserve in Oklahoma, CNN reports.

Ryan Easley, who purchased several tigers from Joe Exotic, “lost his life in an accident involving a tiger under his care,” the preserve said in a Facebook post expressing their “sorrow” that an animal feared for its ability to easily kill a human easily killed a human in front of paying onlookers.

“Unleash this monster and one day it will come for you. And you’ll have no principle to credibly invoke in protest when it does. You’ll be left with nothing more than lame and craven pleading that your friends do not deserve the same treatment as your enemies. Force, not principle, will be the sole factor deciding the outcome,” insufferable wiener Glenn Greenwald wrote in a scathing rant about the cancelation of New York Times contributor and Niskanen fellow Will Wilkinson after he joked on Twitter that Joe Biden should have Mike Pence hanged if he wanted to unify the country.

That was in late January 2021, during a pretty low point for MAGA world – and the start of their long and grueling road back to power. A milestone on that road was Greenwald blocking National Zero on Twitter for mocking the 20 year-ish age gap between him and his (now-deceased) husband.