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Netanyahu makes noises about ceasefire

Israeli dictator Benjamin Netanyahu on Thursday said he’s “instructed to begin immediate negotiations for the release of all our hostages and the end of the war under conditions acceptable to Israel,” Axios’s Barak Ravid reports with a bunch of “🚨🚨🚨🚨” emojis indicating big news.

The “conditions acceptable to Israel” likely the rub there so he can just find something to back out over and resume bombing Gaza civilians indiscriminately while however remaining hostages starve.

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New book about modern British royals edited to remove passage about Jeffrey Epstein introducing Melania to Donald Trump

Shitty British rag the Telegraph reports that future editions of a new book “Entitled: The Rise and Fall of the House of York” by historian Andrew Lownie have been edited to remove a passage claiming that dead sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein introduced future Third Lady Melania Knavs to Epstein’s best bud Donald Trump. The passage appears in a chapter about Jeff’s other pal Prince Andrew, the rapey black sheep of the family, in a book for which 60,000 physical print copies have already been sold and can’t exactly be recalled like a 2022 Kia Sorrento with potentially faulty brake calipers.

“We can confirm that several passages from Entitled: The Rise and Fall of the House of York by Andrew Lownie have been removed in consultation with the author. Entitled is published in the UK by HarperCollins. In the US, the book is self-published by Mr Lownie,” said a spokesperson for HaperCollins and lol this is too goddamned good given that none other than Rupert Murdoch, who owns the publishing house, is already on Donald’s vexatious litigation shitlist for the Wall Street Journal’s reporting on other mid-2000s Trump-Epstein friendship-related matters.

Now while the edit is obviously to avoid the same threats that have led to retractions from the Daily Beast, James Carville, and a non-retraction from Hunter Biden on the same matter, it’s not clear where Lownie himself stands on the self-published US editions of his tome. But unlike Hunter, Carville, and the Beast, the assertion seems to be completely independent of the one by not-terribly reliable narrator Michael Wolff. The Telegraph writes that Lownie’s book quotes “allegations said to have been made by Epstein to an unidentified author in 2007” somewhere around where it describes Prince Andrew as “easy prey for a rattlesnake like Epstein” and that the dead sex trafficker “played Andrew. The prince was a useful idiot who gave him respectability, access to political leaders and business opportunities. He found him easy to exploit.” Sounds like someone else we know, right?

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MAGA Evangelical asshole “Doctor” James Dobson dead at 92

James Dobson, an early Evangelical supporter of pornstar-fucking adjudicated rapist and suspected statutory rapist President Donald Trump, died this week at age 92, USA Today reports.

“Dr Dobson was a pioneer—a man of deep conviction whose voice shaped the way generations view faith, family and culture. His bold leadership, integrity, and compassion helped equip countless families to thrive in a world of shifting values. He was a mentor, a counselor, and a steady voice of truth in turbulent times,” said Gary Bauer, senior vice president of public policy at the Dr James Dobson Family Institute. Dobson’s main propaganda organization was “Focus on the Family,” which opposed LGBTQ and abortion rights as its main tentacles of influence on the American right.

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New York appeals court tosses fraud judgment against fat Donald

Finding the now $527 million penalty against the fat fuck’s corrupt business empire “excessive” a mid-level New York State Appeals Court on Thursday tossed the judgment in Attorney General Letitia James’s fraud lawsuit against convicted felon President Trump, the AP reports.

“While the injunctive relief ordered by the court is well crafted to curb defendants’ business culture, the court’s disgorgement order, which directs that defendants pay nearly half a billion dollars to the State of New York, is an excessive fine that violates the Eighth Amendment of the United States Constitution,” Judges Dianne T Renwick and Peter H Moulton wrote in one of several opinions on the appeals court’s ruling. What if anything the Orange Shitbag actually owes now is unclear.

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“While slavery is obviously a horrible aspect of our nation’s history”

Said Trump minion Lindsey Halligan on Newsmax this morning: “While slavery is obviously a horrible aspect of our nation’s history, you can’t really talk about slavery honestly unless you also talk about hope and progress… we need to stop focusing so much on the lack of progress,” as though there wasn’t any progress and slavery was not actually ended or that the whole fucking point of educating current and future generations about the evils of Antebellum slavery is to ensure that nothing even remotely like it ever happens again to anyone, anywhere on American soil or elsewhere in the world.

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Fat Hitler threatens “harsh measures” if Tina Peters isn’t freed

Warning of unspecified “harsh measures” against the state of Colorado if convicted felon former Mesa County Clerk Tina Peters isn’t pardoned, convicted felon President Trump on Thursday angrily posted “FREE TINA PETERS, a brave and innocent Patriot who has been tortured by Crooked Colorado politicians, including the big Mail-In Ballot supporting the governor of the State.”

“Let Tina Peters out of jail, RIGHT NOW. She did nothing wrong, except catching the Democrats cheat in the Election. She is an old woman, and very sick. If she is not released, I am going to take harsh measures!!!” Trump continued, imposing his will against the state for punishing a criminal who tampered with election equipment and cost taxpayers over a million dollars in replacing the Dominion Voting Systems tabulators she compromised in 2021.

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Jaydee cautions Newsom to “be authentic”

Fundamentally conflating mockery with mimicry, neckbeard Vice President JD Vance on Wednesday complained to Frau Ingraham about “this idea that Gavin Newsom is somehow going to mimic Donald Trump’s style—That ignores the fundamental genius of President Trump’s political success that he is authentic… Don’t be a crazy person. Be authentic.” Also irony is still dead.

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Alaska’s Mount Spurr volcano weak, low energy

Scientists at the Alaska Volcano Observatory have concluded that, despite months of increasing activity on the peak about 75 miles west of Anchorage earlier this year, Mount Spurr is currently too weak and low energy to erupt anytime in the near or even middle term, the AP reports.

“Minor gas emissions and a slightly higher number of small earthquakes could persist for many months to several years,” the observatory said in a statement about the limp, volcano.

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Epstein victim’s family applauds Trump failure to unseal testimony

“We applaud Judge Richard Berman’s decision not to release the grand jury testimony in the Ghislaine Maxwell case. We wholeheartedly agree with his assessment that the Department of Justice (DOJ) is creating a diversion with its actions regarding the grand jury motion, which distracts from the vast scope of the Epstein files in the government’s possession. It is our strong belief that Ghislaine Maxwell and Jeffrey Epstein did not act alone, and the DOJ is fully aware of this fact.”

“We call for full transparency from the administration and insist that the DOJ release all documents related to this case. We recognize the critical importance of protecting survivors; it is essential that we redact any information that could jeopardize their safety or privacy. Their well-being must always be our priority. At the same time, we demand accountability for all individuals implicated in these heinous acts. Those responsible must be held to the fullest extent of the law. We will not accept anything less than justice for Virginia and all survivors,” said Virginia Giuffre’s family Wednesday after the third and final failed lame attempt by the Trump regime to get a judge to unseal grand jury transcripts related to the cases against sex traffickers Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell.

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“We are going to ignore these stupid white hippies”

Bald Baby Goebbels and Vice President Neckbeard weren’t pleased with their little tour of Washington, DC’s Union Station being interrupted by protestors and naggy questions from the press on Wednesday, with Miller declaring they’re “”going to ignore these stupid white hippies that all need to go home and take a nap because they‘re all over ninety years old.”

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Surprise! Bryan Kohberger pretty MAGA-adjacent if not just MAGA

Notorious incel quadruple murderer Bryan Kohberger, now serving life without the possibility of parole or appeal for the November 2022 stabbing deaths of University of Idaho undergrads Kaylee Goncalves, Madison Mogen, Xana Kernodle, and Ethan Chapin, was known by classmates at his criminology PhD program at Washington State University as having made “outspoken discriminatory comments which were homophobic, ableist, xenophobic, and misogynistic in nature,” according to interviews unsealed following Kohberger’s plea deal last month, People Magazine reports.

While we may never know if Kohberger is/was a Trump fan – let alone if he was political at all – this and other creepy shit about him makes it pretty clear he’s more likely than not to be MAGA.

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“New Schiff leak claim from whistleblower echoes years of similar accusations” Fox News reports as they’re so, so close to getting it

“Longtime Trump political foe Democrat Sen Adam Schiff for years has been accused of leaking classified documents — long before the release of a ‘bombshell’ whistleblower testimony claiming the California lawmaker approved leaking classified information in order to discredit the president during the Russiagate probe,” Fox News writes in the lede to a story showing they are so close to getting it.

Like it’s right there, right in front of them. They even put “bombshell” in scare quotes. In fact that might even be the work of a lone writer just quietly rebelling, if only for a moment, against the editorial directives of their superiors at the propaganda network, subtly expressing the reality that this is all complete horseshit made up to make their criminal president look like a victim.

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Scott Jennings gets to work on his anti-anti-slavery bonafides

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Iowa embezzler gets four months in Pokemon card spending spree

“An Earling, Iowa, man was sentenced on August 15, 2025, to four months in federal prison for wire fraud. According to public court documents, from September 2021 to October 2022, Mitch William Gross, 34, defrauded his employer, Ruan Transportation Corporation, by using business-related credit cards for personal purchases, including prepaid gift cards, Pokemon cards, and gaming items.”

“Gross submitted falsified receipts and mischaracterized fraudulent charges on his expense reports so that the purchases appeared as legitimate business expenses. His fraudulent purchases totaled over $140,000. After completing his term of imprisonment, Gross will be required to serve a three-year term of supervised release. There is no parole in the federal system. Gross was also ordered to pay $146,590.15 in restitution. United States Attorney Richard D Westphal of the Southern District of Iowa made the announcement. This case was investigated by the Federal Bureau of Investigation and the Des Moines Police Department,” says a Justice Department press release.

What it doesn’t say is Gross’s political party. Neither does the result for him on VoteRef.com. It does however say that his boomer-aged parents, who he lives with, are registered Republicans.

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Sony jacks up prices on Playstation 5 consoles by $50 each

“Similar to many global businesses, we continue to navigate a challenging economic environment. As a result, we’ve made the difficult decision to increase the recommended retail price for PlayStation 5 consoles in the US starting on August 21. The updated recommended retail price for PlayStation 5 consoles in the US are as follows: PlayStation 5 – $549.99, PlayStation 5 Digital Edition – $499.99, PlayStation 5 Pro – $749.99 The recommended retail prices for PlayStation 5 accessories remain unchanged, and we have no other price changes to announce for additional markets,” says a blog post from the Japanese gaming/entertainment giant careful to avoid mentioning you know who.

Still in “a challenging economic environment” a company should want to be reducing the price of a product that debuted almost five years ago. This morning Axios reported with a cheeky graphic of a $1 bill like a dam about to burst that these exact kind of announcements were coming, while Wired quoted some Trump minion as saying “I’m probably surprised that there has not been more concern,” about prices spiking. “I think the reality is that we’re at that sort of inflection point, where retailers were reluctant to raise prices because they feared retaliation from the administration. Now the reality is setting in that these are not transitory. There are going to be economic consequences.”

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Fat Hitler admits he won’t be halving energy bills

“Any State that has built and relied on WINDMILLS and SOLAR for power are seeing RECORD BREAKING INCREASES IN ELECTRICITY AND ENERGY COSTS. THE SCAM OF THE CENTURY! We will not approve wind or farmer destroying Solar. The days of stupidity are over in the USA!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Wednesday morning in his first real followup on his 2024 campaign trail pledge to cut home energy costs by half within his first year in office.

The social media screech comes a day after Politico reported Energy Secretary Chris Wright told them that “The momentum of the Obama-Biden policies, for sure that destruction is going to continue in the coming years. That momentum is pushing prices up right now. And who’s going to get blamed for it? We’re going to get blamed because we’re in office,” which is probably what prompted Trump’s shitposting. Electricity prices averaged 5.5 higher in July over the previous year.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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