“On Aug 29 at 5 pm., Ray Brook Dispatch received a 911 satellite text via Ulster County from a hiker reporting a group of four was lost near Giant Ledge in the Slide Mountain Wilderness. The original caller admitted the group had consumed mushrooms and one of them was experiencing a debilitating high. At 6:45 pm, Forest Rangers Franceschina, Jeffery, and Martin located the group of hikers. Rangers and the Pine Hill Fire Department assisted the subjects to the trailhead where they were evaluated by Shandaken Ambulance. Somewhere along the way, the hikers also lost their car keys. Rangers provided a courtesy ride to the subjects’ rental lodging. The following day, Ranger Martin hiked back up and found a sling bag with the keys under a log in tall ferns,” says a New York State Department of Environmental Conservation (DEC) Forest Rangers press release.

DC Magistrate Judge Zia Faruqui ripped into Trump DOJ prosecutors on Thursday after a grand jury returned a no bill against some drunk guy who supposedly threatened convicted felon President Trump, with Fauruqui saying in court “It’s not fair to say they’re losing credibility. We’re past that now. There’s no credibility left,” the AP reports. DC US Attorney Judge Box-o-Wine was not pleased:

Let me tell you about this Judge Faruqui…

This is a judge who by his own words is trying to justify felons illegally carrying firearms in one of the most violent cities in America.

He has repeatedly indicated his allegiance to those who violate the law and carry illegal…

— Jeanine Pirro (@JudgeJeanine) September 4, 2025

Continued: “He has repeatedly indicated his allegiance to those who violate the law and carry illegal guns, justifying the possession of these guns and constantly pushing for the release of these dangerous criminals back into our communities. In speaking about a defendant possessing an illegal gun in his view if you are a felon just holding an illegal gun ‘I don’t think that makes you a danger’ and ‘They said the worst thing a judge can have is (sic) they release somebody and they go out and they do something terrible. I don’t think that’s the worst thing. I think the worst thing is that I don’t give you a shot.’ This judge took an oath to follow the law, yet he has allowed his politics to consistently cloud his judgment and his requirement to follow the law. America voted for safe communities, law and order, and this judge is the antithesis of that.”

Sur-fucking-prise: ProPublica has determined that EPA Administrator Lee Zeldin, Labor Secretary Lori Chavez-DeRemer, and Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy have all claimed multiple homes as their primary residences on their mortgage applications, thereby making them guilty of the same “crime” member of the Federal Reserve Board of Governors Lisa Cook is under investigation for.

The White House responded in a typically butthurt statement, writing “This is just another hit piece from a left-wing dark money group that constantly attempts to smear President Trump’s incredible Cabinet members. Unlike Lisa ‘Corrupt’ Cook who blatantly and intentionally committed mortgage fraud, Secretary DeRemer, Secretary Duffy, and Administrator Zeldin own multiple residences, and they have followed the law and they are fully compliant with all ethical obligations.”

“On August 21, 2025, the district court issued a preliminary injunction barring Florida and the United States from engaging in any additional construction at the detention facility known as ‘Alligator Alcatraz’ and ordering the site closed and dismantled within sixty days. The State and Federal Defendants have filed motions to stay that injunction pending appeal. After careful consideration, we GRANT the Defendants’ motions, and we STAY the preliminary injunction and the underlying case itself pending appeal,” writes the Eleventh Circuit staying the closure of the Everglades gulag.

BREAKING: DOJ Deputy Chief Admits Government Will “Redact Every Republican” While “Leav[ing] All the Liberal, Democratic People” on the Epstein Client List; Says Ghislaine Maxwell Was Moved to a Lower-Security Prison As “A Benefit… to Keep Her Mouth Shut”

“She [Maxwell] got… pic.twitter.com/QzSEdxnBqR

— James O'Keefe (@JamesOKeefeIII) September 4, 2025

In response to this video the DOJ posted an email from the mark telling his superiors how he was duped by the honeypot scheme: “I met a woman named Skylar on Hinge, a dating app, in July 2025, her profile is no longer findable. We had two dates (August 4 and August 16). She claimed to be an au pair in Georgetown. She gave no clues that she was a reporter or recording our dates. Had I a clue, the first date would have ended immediately and there never would have been a second one.”

“My profile indicated I did ‘Government’ work but did not specify for which agency. I never discussed what I do at DOJ. The comments I made were my own personal comments on what I’ve learned in the media and not from anything I’ve done at or learned via work. I have no knowledge of the circumstances surrounding Ms. Maxwell other than what is reported in the news. I also never divulged anything about what I do at work. I recall that she asked if I had any knowledge about Maxwell and I specifically said I only know what’s been reported in the media,” wrote Joe Schmitt.

House Oversight Chairbilly James Comer on Thursday continued to try to undermine Dems’ funding platform ActBlue by subpoenaing three executives from the organization, the New York Post reports.

The Trump Regime on Thursday quietly floated a trial balloon to Newsmax to print in an “exclusive” that the MAGA Justice Department is “reviewing possible steps to restrict firearms access for individuals diagnosed with gender dysphoria,” the last words simultaneously fancier and crueler term for transgender people. Newsmax then quotes an official as saying Democrats have long pressed for “common sense” gun control and adding “this seems pretty common sense to me.”

In all likelihood this is just aspirational fapping/feeding content to a loyal state media outlet than it is any serious discussion of banning trans people and trans people only from owning guns. The MAGA propaganda industrial complex loves it when some vaguely transgender asshole blasts kids in a school because it feeds this exact kind of fucking “content” AND serves as diversion from the problem of the guns themselves. Then there’s the practicality of “diagnosing” the disorder, as in does the ATF go door-to-door inspecting gun owners’ genitals to determine their gender?

But the biggest reason why this is most likely just performative circlejerking is what the policy – if it isn’t struck down by the Supreme Court – opens the door to the next time a Dem is in the White House: If “gender dysphoria” is a reason to abrogate a gun owner’s right to bear arms then pretty much anything is – like the kind of shit right wing gun owners are prone to post online.

“Health authorities in the Democratic Republic of the Congo have declared an outbreak of Ebola virus disease in Kasai Province where 28 suspected cases and 15 deaths, including four health workers, have been reported as of 4 September 2025. The outbreak has affected Bulape and Mweka health zones in Kasai Province where health officials have been carrying out investigations after the cases and the deaths reported presented with symptoms including fever, vomiting, diarrhea and hemorrhage. Samples tested on 3 September at the country’s National Institute of Biomedical Research in the capital Kinshasa confirmed the cause of the outbreak as Ebola Zaire caused by Ebola virus disease,” says the World Health Organization in a bulletin.

“A national Rapid Response Team joined by World Health Organization (WHO) experts in epidemiology, infection prevention and control, laboratory and case management has been deployed to Kasai Province to rapidly strengthen disease surveillance, treatment and infection prevention and control in health facilities. Provincial risk communication experts have also been deployed to reach communities and help them understand how to protect themselves. Additionally, WHO is delivering two tonnes of supplies including personal protective equipment, mobile laboratory equipment and medical supplies. The area is difficult to reach, taking at least one day of driving from Tshikapa (the provincial capital of Kasai), with few air links,” the WHO bulletin continued.

Alleging that the Capital district is subject to a “involuntary military occupation” by a tyrant who “has run roughshod over a fundamental tenet of American democracy — that the military should not be involved in domestic law enforcement” the DC Attorney General’s office on Thursday sued the Trump Regime to get a court to declare that occupation illegal, null, and void, CBS News reports.

“Deploying the National Guard to engage in law enforcement is not only unnecessary and unwanted, but it is also dangerous and harmful to the District and its residents,” said DC Attorney General Brian Schwalb in a statement to CBS. “No American city should have the US military, particularly out-of-state military who are not accountable to the residents and untrained in local law enforcement, policing its streets. It’s DC today but could be any other city tomorrow,” Schwalb continued.

Brainwormed Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F Kennedy Jr on Thursday faces a pretty poorly-timed regular hearing in front of the Senate’s Finance Committee, just days after he gutted the CDC and handed a shit ton of Guatemalan kids from the department’s custody to be deported.

Regime Justice Department prosecutors have formally opened a criminal investigation into Fed Governor Lisa Cook’s fake “mortgage fraud” situation, the Wall Street Journal reports.

The headline should say “Fed Board of Governors member Lisa Cook indicted,” but since the reich needs to make it look like something is happening, they leaked the “investigation” part to the Journal is what political news consumers get: The appearance of action. Plus it’s a nice bone to throw to the regime lawyers arguing in court against an injunction halting her firing. They get to stand in front of the judge and say “LOOK UR HONOR, TEH WALL STREET JOURNAL SEZ COOKIE IS UNDER FEDUHRUL CRIMINAL INVESTIGASHUN! U NEED 2 LET US FIRE HER BECUZ SHE CRIMED!”

“Vice President JD Vance handily defeated Gov Gavin Newsom (D-CA) across seven battleground states in a theoretical presidential election matchup, according to a poll exclusively obtained by Breitbart News,” writes the right wing media site in an article that’s a little dodgy on the provenance of the poll as in whether it was “obtained exclusively” or actually sponsored by Breitbart.

The polling data sheet from “Plymouth Union Public Research” or “PUP Research” itself is more than a little dodgy, saying “Republican JD Vance won the vote in 5 out of the 7 swing states and won overall (Vance 51 percent, Newsom 49 percent). In a sample that is R+1 , this result tracks, but a deeper look at the internals reveals more.” The sheet then proceeds to not lay out said internals, saying only “Vice President Vance is winning Democrats (9 percent) at a higher clip than Newsom winning Republicans (7 percent).” They don’t even say which of the five states Jaydee is ahead in.

Trump ballsucking capitalist-turned-Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac Director Bill Pulte, who has a real hard on for Fed Governor Lisa Cook’s fake “mortgage fraud” situation, was very hesitant on CNBC Thursday to make a similar criminal referral to the Justice Department against Picasso-faced Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, making some shit up about the allegation not having been made “public.” The refusal came minutes after he similarly refused to answer how he got the “tip” on Cook.

White House press release: “First Lady Melania Trump will host a meeting of the White House Task Force on Artificial Intelligence (AI) Education today alongside members of the Task Force and private sector leaders from American industry. ‘I predict AI will represent the single largest growth category in our nation during the Trump Administration – and I won’t be surprised if AI becomes known as the greatest engine of progress in the history of the United States of America. But, as leaders and parents we must manage AI’s growth responsibly. During this primitive stage, it is our duty to treat AI as we would our own children – empowering, but with watchful guidance. We are living in a moment of wonder, and it is our responsibility to prepare America’s children,’ said First Lady Melania Trump.”

In what Reuters reports is directly attributable to the DOGE shitshow shuttering USAID, the UN’s World Food Program has closed 150 nutrition centers in northeastern Nigeria, causing children and families displaced by conflict with Islamic and other rebel groups to suffer starvation and, per a WFP spokesperson based in the region, that “hundreds of thousands of children stopped receiving essential treatment, and the number of children who needed hospitalization skyrocketed… We know that 600,000 children are at risk of mortality – a figure we’ve never experienced before.”

But hey, at least “Big Balls” has the Social Security information of every single living American.

A struggling Woodruff County, Arkansas farmer Chris King on Tuesday stood up at a meeting hosted by staffers for Senators Tom Cotton, John Boozman, and Congressman Rick Crawford to say, patehtically, “Mr Trump, you looked at me and said, ‘I love you.’ Mr Trump, I need to see the fruit of your love.” It’s unclear whether this was like a personal experience, as in, King had attended a MAGA rally and Trump had brought him on stage or there was some “Farmers for Trump” event or whatever and some form of that actually happened. Or, more likely, that King had just imagined this.

Later King told K8 News he’s “never been as worried as I am now about whether or not my kids and grandkids will be able to carry on,” adding “I just would like to see somebody help us get our markets back. We need our exports, and we just need to be paid for what we do, and that’s not happening, and we’re in real trouble.” Wait, aren’t unprovoked trade wars fun and easy to win?

Other farmer Scott Brown said he thinks “the tariffs are the ice cream on the cake of a perfect storm. When you try and sell a product, okay, US soybeans leaving New Orleans without the tariff to China are cheaper than Brazilian soybeans, at the current market. But when you put the tariff on top of them, Brazilian beans are cheaper.” Asked what he needs, the socialist welfare queen said “In the short term, they have no choice but to mail us a check. I don’t know a farmer that likes the check program. Nobody wants to take the taxpayer dollars, but nobody wants to go broke, nobody wants to lose everything. Long term, we have to have options, markets, and places to sell our product.”

“Several sources close to key GOP senators tell me this morning that frustrations w/ Sec Kennedy are real, especially with unrest at the CDC, but that they are not at the point yet of pushing the WH or President to make a change. His turn today at Senate will be closely watched,” tweeted CBS News White House correspondent Robert Costa on Thursday, copied verbatim here for the utterly perfect encapsulation of their cowardice. They’re not “yet” at the point, as if they’ll ever be.

Dog-murdering Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem is refusing to release to NBC News the numbers on how many undocumented migrants have actually taken her up on her offer for $1,000 and a free flight to “self-deport” despite her having spent $200 million in taxpayer dollars on an ad campaign and God knows how much more on a reboot of the “CBP One” app for that purpose.

Per NBC, Noem had last month promised to make the stats public but has since been slient on the matter and DHS officials would not respond to repeated requests for comment on the matter.

Would-be users said it’s all a fraud. “You just can’t get on a plane tomorrow and just go,” Lauren, a mom of two who lives in Ohio with her undocumented husband told NBC. She expressed anger at Noem, saying that the family doesn’t plan to use the CBP app. “We have a home. We have to sell this home, get rid of everything that’s in this home. It’s just, you can’t just leave like she says.”

Former Trump White House physician and current Texas MAGA Congressman Ronny “Dr Feelgood” Jackson’s demotion from Rear Admiral to Captain due to prescription drug abuse and distribution, among other misbehavior, has been reversed by Navy Secretary John Phelan, the AP reports.