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President mops over not being invited to cool dictator party

“The big question to be answered is whether or not President Xi of China will mention the massive amount of support and ‘blood’ that The United States of America gave to China in order to help it to secure its FREEDOM from a very unfriendly foreign invader. Many Americans died in China’s quest for Victory and Glory. I hope that they are rightfully Honored and Remembered for their Bravery and Sacrifice! May President Xi and the wonderful people of China have a great and lasting day of celebration. Please give my warmest regards to Vladimir Putin, and Kim Jong Un, as you conspire against The United States of America,” posted a butthurt Donald Trump on Tuesday, feeling FOMO over not being able to conspire against The United States of America with his dudes.

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House Oversight releases their version of Epstein files

And – surprise! – according to Politico most of the files released in this trove of 33,000+ documents are already public and released to the dancing MAGA influencers back in February.

In related news, Rogue Republican Congressman Thomas Massie on Tuesday told reporters that convicted felon President Trump’s White House in calling House GOP members and commanding them not to sign on to the discharge petition to force the release of the files, per CNN’s Sarah Ferris.

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Yet another grand jury declines to indict lib who threatened Trump

For the second time in not as many days it’s been reported that a DC grand jury declined to indict a lib who threaten to assassinate convicted felon President Trump. Per WUSA, US Attorney Judge Box-o-Wine’s office informed a magistrate judge that a grand jury had returned a no true bill against Edward Dana on Tuesday afternoon. Further details about the nature of Dana’s threat against Trump were unavailable in the article, other than to say he described himself to police as a “person with disabilities,” while being arrested for destroying property in an unspecified jurisdiction.

Yeah if it isn’t already safe to say this is a problem for the regime then it probably will be in the near term. It’s the similar to judges dropping the “presumption of regularity” toward filings and motions from the Trump Justice Department en masse, but actually kind of worse when you think about all the “retribution” fuckery. Word’s apparently getting out among people in the jury pool that you can just say no – which used to be almost completely unheard of – and this is before anything actually major like, say, John Bolton’s case comes before a grand jury. Yes, Trump can and will harass the shit out of people, not to mention Pirro will find misdemeanors to charge targets with. But this is still a bottleneck and pretty much an insurmountable one until they suspend habeas corpus.

Not that anyone should rule that out. In fact you might as well even expect it to start happening.

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Argentina court puts Nazi’s daughter on house arrest over artwork

A court in Argentina ordered the daughter and son-in-law of high-ranking Nazi SS official Friedrich Kadgien put on house arrest after cops raided their home and failed to find at least one classical painting Kadgien had stolen from a Dutch Jewish art dealer during World War II – a piece the dumbass revealed to be in her possession in a pic posted in a real estate listing, Reuters reports.

Patricia Kadgien and her unnamed husband were ordered to remain under house arrest for 72 hours starting Monday and will be questioned for obstructing the investigation to locate the Giuseppe Ghislandi’s late 17th/early 18th century portrait of Italian Countess Colleoni an official in Mar de Plata province told Reuters. Kadigen and her husband are expected to be charged with to be charged with the very specific (and appropriate) crime of “concealment of theft in the context of genocide.”

After coming up empty in their search of Kadgien’s home cops searched four other properties linked to them and the couple’s relatives, finding at least two other paintings believed to be dating to the 1800s or earlier that just might’ve also been plundered. It’s not clear if that includes a floral still life by the 17th century Dutch painter Abraham Mignon that Patricia’s sister posted on Facebook.

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“We don’t want Democrats making ads about $8 Lucky Charms and grandma unable to get prescription drugs because of tariffs”

The quote in the headline has been truncated somewhat from the source due to space limitations here. What “one GOP operative involved in drawing up the party’s midterm plans” actually said to Axios was “We don’t want Democrats making campaign ads about $8 Lucky Charms and grandma unable to get prescription drugs because of shortages from the tariffs,” adding “Voters care a ton, and Republicans need to talk more about fighting this,” in a separate bullet point.

Interesting that a party whose Dear Leader’s campaign put out signs saying simply “TRUMP: LOW PRICES – KAMALA: HIGH PRICES” doesn’t want the Democrats to do the same thing to them. You would think that, just throwing this out there, that they would have actually done something about it.

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Shooting each other in the head with helmet game turns deadly

A regular game of “Let’s take turns wearing a kevlar helmet and shooting each other in the head” took a tragic turn for two Texas men last month, NBC News reports, citing Harris County Sheriff Ed Gonzales’s announcement of the arrest of Sean O’Donnell in the death of his friend Aaron Prout.

Cops on August 17th had responded to O’Donnell’s home on August 17th to find Prout lying on the ground with a gunshot wound to the head, later succumbing at a nearby hospital. The incident was first believed to be a suicide but, per Gonzales, “things weren’t adding up.” It’s not clear if O’Donnell, 46, confessed or what but cops determined that the two had been taking turns putting on a kevlar helmet while the other fired a rifle at his head. Also unclear is if the fatal round had pierced through the helmet or if O’Donnell had missed and hit Prout in an exposed area. Which might happen if you’ve already been shot in the head a few times and/or as drunk as the two probably were.

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“RINO” thinks MAGA rival capable of shame

More polling shows the Texas Senate Republican primary race is tightening, but as Punchbowl reports “Remember: Paxton has been totally quiet. Cornyn has had millions in positive advertising over the summer. Cornyn’s allies’ own polling suggests that primary voters don’t find him to be conservative enough. We don’t know how the race will change when Paxton hits back.”

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DHS gets defensive over shipping man to African gulag

“The New York Times ran a sob story of Orville Etoria, an illegal alien from Jamaica and a convicted MURDERER. In addition to murder, this serial criminal’s rap sheet includes criminal possession of a weapon, armed robbery, and forcible theft with a deadly weapon. Following his criminal convictions, Etoria’s green card was revoked. Etoria was issued a final order of removal by an immigration judge in 2009. Sixteen years later, this dangerous individual is finally off our streets and out of the country thanks to President Trump and Secretary Noem. On July 17, he was deported.”

“‘If you come to our country illegally and break our laws, you could end up in CECOT, Eswatini, South Sudan, or another third country. President Trump and Secretary Noem are using every tool available to get criminal illegal aliens out of American communities and out of our country. Our message is clear: Criminals are not welcome in the United States,’ said a DHS Spokesperson. ‘Why does the New York Times continue to peddle sob stories of criminal illegal aliens? When will they finally shed light on their victims? Every single day President Trump and Secretary Noem fight for justice for American victims of illegal alien crime and nearly every single day the media ignores these victims and their families,'” says a Homeland Security Press release on Orville Etoria.

Etoria, who became a minister during his 25 year bid, has been in a prison in Eswatini for seven weeks now and has not been charged with any time there. Jamaica was willing to take him back.

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Fox News reports violent Antifa warlord released by Obama judge

Per their usual schtick, Fox News on Tuesday left out an important detail in their tweet that doesn’t even link to a friggin article, one that can be found in a defense filing for 50 year-old Indiana woman Nathalie Jones: “One of the factors the court considered in determining the conditions of release was the nature of the case and the weight of the evidence. A grand jury has now found no probable cause to indict Ms Jones on the charged offenses. Given that finding, the weight of the evidence is weak. The government may intend to try again to obtain an indictment, but the evidence has not changed and no indictment is likely. For this reason the Court should release Ms Jones on her personal recognizance to appear if required,” emphasis added on the part about the real reason Judge Boasberg let her loose: Yet another “no true bill” from a DC grand jury.

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Judge rules Trump Regime’s deployment to Los Angeles unlawful

“For the foregoing reasons, the Court ORDERS that Defendants 29 are enjoined from deploying, ordering, instructing, training, or using the National Guard currently deployed in California, and any military troops heretofore deployed in California, to execute the laws, including but not limited to engaging in arrests, apprehensions, searches, seizures, security patrols, traffic control, crowd control, riot control, evidence collection, interrogation, or acting as informants, unless and until Defendants satisfy the requirements of a valid constitutional or statutory exception, as defined herein, to the Posse Comitatus Act. The Court STAYS this injunction until 12:00 noon on Friday, September 12, 2025,” wrote California federal Judge Charles Breyer in a Tuesday order.

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Orange Pharaoh makes too falsifiable of a statement

“CHICAGO IS THE MURDER CAPITAL OF THE WORLD!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday morning, completely undermining his credibility on other matters with a far-too-easily falsifiable statement that does not feel true or “speak to a larger point” or whatever.

The murder capital of the world in absolutes would most likely go to Salvador, Brazil, at 986 dead in 2023 while per capita title would be Colima, Mexico, at 140 per 100,000 in 2024. Domestically, while Chicago typically has the highest absolute number of homicides annually at 573 murders in 2024, the rate is a third that of the actual murder capital of the US, which is St Louis at 87.2 in 2025, more than triple that of Chicago at 28.7 so far this year, ranking 7th among American cities.

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Surprise! Regime’s Harvard “antisemitism” enforcer a Hitler fan

You will not be surprised to learn that Michael Velchik, the Trump Justice Department lawyer tasked with prosecuting the regime’s war on Harvard University who argued “let’s not give federal taxpayer dollars to institutions that exhibit a wanton indifference to antisemitism” in court in July, is an alum who in 2011 wrote a paper from the perspective of Adolf Hitler, the Boston Globe reports.

The paper was an exercise in Velchik’s Latin language course in which students were asked to write from the perspective of a controversial figure, per the Globe, who write that “Velchik’s choice of Hitler so unnerved the instructor that he was asked to redo the assignment.” Then, about 18 months later after he had gotten his BA and was preparing to enter Harvard Law School, the now-MAGA lawyer wrote that he enjoyed “Mein Kampf” more than any other book he’d recently read.

Hitler “certainly excelled as an orator, and his writing reflects oratory,” Velchik, described as a bowtie-wearing dork, wrote. “Understands the importance of propaganda. Thought that the timing of a speech was important: better late at night!” The Globe notes that they interviewed Velchik’s former boss and fellow Ivy League-alum fascist Senator Josh Hawley before they learned about the young lad’s Hitler fetish. “I never found that there was an issue Michael could not get up to speed on in an extremely brief period of time,” Hawley said. “He has an encyclopedic mind.”

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Zero injured as Villages terrorist drives golf cart into supermarket

Zero people were killed as a confused elderly terrorist drove his golf cart into the produce section of a Winn-Dixie in The Villages, Florida on Sunday, per Villages-News. Police did not respond and the terrorist’s vehicle was escorted out of the premises without further incident.

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Decrepit senior adds “execiting announcement” to schedule

Krazy Karoline tells Fox News White House Correspondent Jacqui Heinrich that “the President will be making an exciting announcement related to the Department of Defense,” at 2 PM EDT on Tuesday this being the potentially gravely ill old bastard’s first public press availability in a week after his rambling, tedious, and very stupid three-and-a-half-hour cabinet meeting last Tuesday.

The fat fuck is probably going to announce and executive order renaming the Department of Defense back to its pre-1947 name of the Department of War, something he all-but-certainly cannot do by unilateral fiat but like with the “Gulf of America” will simply try to impose his will anyway.

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Nestle CEO canned for being too sweet on employee

Nestle CEO Laurent Freixe has been abruptly fired just under a year at the helm of the candy giant for being too sweet on an unnamed employee, CNBC reports without any sexual/sugar innuendos.

“This was a necessary decision. Nestle’s values and governance are strong foundations of our company. I thank Laurent for his years of service. We are not changing course on strategy and we will not lose pace on performance,” said Chairman Paul Bulcke in a statement. “A CEO who fucks around with employees will not stop us from developing the Everlasting Gobstopper, the wonder candy that never, ever, ever loses flavor no matter how much you suck on it,” Bulcke did not add.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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