Two Belgian teenagers have been cuffed for wildlife piracy in Kenya after being found with over 5,000 live messor cephalote ants packed in test tubes bound for Europe, a bust which officials say may be just a small part of a larger trend of trafficking insects out of the country for who the hell knows why someone would want freaking 5,000 ants but there’s a market for it, the AP reports.

Lornoy David and Seppe Lodewijckx, both 19, appeared in court Tuesday along with Kenyan Dennis Ng’ang’a and Vietnamese Duh Hung Nguyen, who separately were caught with 400 live ants bound for somewhere in Asia. The Kenya Wildlife Service in a statement that smuggling “not only undermines Kenya’s sovereign rights over its biodiversity but also deprives local communities and research institutions of potential ecological and economic benefits.” It’s unclear which species Ng’ang’a and Nguyen were trying to take but the ones David and Lodewijckx had are a distinctive kind of red harvester ant with large heads apparently prized by ant farm hobbyists.

“Perhaps Harvard should lose its Tax Exempt Status and be Taxed as a Political Entity if it keeps pushing political, ideological, and terrorist inspired/supporting ‘Sickness?’ Remember, Tax Exempt Status is totally contingent on acting in the PUBLIC INTEREST!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday, reacting to Harvard’s willingness to suck up losing $2 billion in federal funding by refusing to submit to a complete ideological and operational takeover by his regime.

How they even begin to go about revoking Harvard’s tax exempt status is unclear, but is that a road the MAGA cocksuckers really want to go down? It might not end well for the American right wing.

WATCH: @RCamposDuffy teaches President Trump how to say “MAGA” in Spanish during their exclusive sit-down interview. pic.twitter.com/9QQNwaXXX2

— FOX & Friends (@foxandfriends) April 15, 2025

“Governor Bob Ferguson offered the following statement in response to the Federal Emergency Management Agency’s denial of Washington’s application for federal disaster relief to assist with the estimated $34 million in damage from November’s storms: ‘There are very clear criteria to qualify for these emergency relief funds. Washington’s application met all of them. This is another troubling example of the federal government withholding funding. Washington communities have been waiting for months for the resources they need to fully recover from last winter’s devastating storms, and this decision will cause further delay. We will appeal.’ A series of storms hit Washington in November last year, including a ‘bomb cyclone,’ causing widespread damage across multiple counties and claiming two lives. Former Governor Jay Inslee initially declared a disaster in nine counties in response to the storms: Clallam, Grays Harbor, Island, King, Pacific, Snohomish, Wahkiakum, Walla Walla and Whatcom. Governor Ferguson expanded the declaration to include two additional counties: Chelan and Jefferson, after the full extent of the damage became known.

“Washington applied for federal disaster relief funds for FEMA in January to repair damage including to public highways, public utilities and electrical power systems. Three months later, FEMA responded on Friday denying the application without explanation. FEMA’s public assistance programs reimburse at least 75 percent of eligible costs related to a declared disaster. Washington’s preliminary damage estimate is $34 million. This number will likely increase as the state works with counties to update information for an appeal. Washington has 30 days to submit its appeal,” said Washington State Governor Bob Ferguson’s office in a statement Monday.

Evidently restless due to a cocktail of ungodly pharmaceuticals, convicted felon President Trump stirred just before midnight to post “A just out NBC Poll says that MAGA is gaining tremendous support. I am not, at all, surprised!!!” about a survey billed simply as finding “More than one-third of registered voters identified themselves as MAGA supporters in March’s NBC News poll. That includes 71 percent of Republicans.” The same poll, conducted last month, found Trump underwater on economic approval at 44 percent approve to 54 percent disapprove and even worse on his handling of inflation and the cost of living at 55 percent disapprove, 42 percent approve.

Reminder that this was before “Liberation Day.” Why NBC waited until the middle of this month to print an article about how many identify as “MAGA” is unclear but obviously Donald was excited.

Cody Balmer, the 38 year-old auto mechanic who wanted to beat Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro and his family to death with a hammer while setting a section of the gubernatorial mansion on fire was due in court this week for what CNN reports was a 2023 domestic assault against his wife and two sons, just in case anyone was expecting this guy to have been an upstanding citizen and a pillar of his community who simply had a momentary lapse of judgment.

El Salvadoran scumbag Nayib Bukele already told reporters present that there’s no way he can get Kilmar Abrego Garcia out of his dungeon, obviously that’s complete horseshit.

Sorry not sorry about the C-word in the headline. Sometimes Republicans are just cunts.

It’s tight, it’s early, and there’s a lot of undecided voters, but Dem former North Carolina Governor Roy Cooper – who isn’t running yet – edges out incumbent Republican Senator Thom Tillis 46 to 44 percent in a head-to-head in a survey of Tar Heel state likely voters in a 2026 matchup tested by lefty organization Carolina Forward. Cooper holds a strong lead among indies at 57 to 27 percent with another 16 percent undecided while Republican voters are also 10 percent undecided – likely because Tillis is a “RINO” to them who occasionally engages in hollow acts of performative defiance against the MAGA Reich, the rest are Tillis 85 percent to Cooper 5 percent. Dem respondents meanwhile are just 1 percent undecided at 94 percent for Cooper and 5 percent for Tillis.

You can do far worse for a candidate than Cooper as he won two statewide elections handily and remains popular – both when convicted felon President Trump was on the same ballot and carried North Carolina. That said it’s fucking North Carolina and the douchebag ticket splitters in the state also reelected Tillis in 2020 along with Cooper – though maybe that Cal Cunningham dickhead would’ve won if he hadn’t been caught cheating on his wife weeks before Election Day. But speculating is pointless because Cooper simply has to run, he’s probably the only Dem who can flip the seat, either he runs and wins or doesn’t and that cocksucker Tillis gets another six years.

“THE BEST DEFINITION OF INTELLIGENCE IS THE ABILITY TO PREDICT THE FUTURE!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Monday for reasons inscrutable other than that he’s just fucking insane and isn’t getting any less so. The fat bastard then posted “Congratulations to Daniel Noboa, who will be a great leader for the wonderful people of Ecuador. He will not let you down!” with a link to a BBC article with a headline specifying that Noboa was reelected and thus already president.

Demented Donald then later posted that Joe Biden and Volodymyr Zelensky “allowed” Russia to invade Ukraine, writing “The War between Russia and Ukraine is Biden’s war, not mine. I just got here, and for four years during my term, had no problem in preventing it from happening. President Putin, and everyone else, respected your President! I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS WAR, BUT AM WORKING DILIGENTLY TO GET THE DEATH AND DESTRUCTION TO STOP. If the 2020 Presidential Election was not RIGGED, and it was, in so many ways, that horrible War would never have happened. President Zelenskyy and Crooked Joe Biden did an absolutely horrible job in allowing this travesty to begin. There were so many ways of preventing it from ever starting. But that is the past. Now we have to get it to STOP, AND FAST. SO SAD!” as if the fat fuck didn’t say he’d have it ended in the first 24 hours of the beginning of his second maladministration.

“He just has the stardom … that’s not enough”: @willcain reacts to Stephen A. Smith floating a 2028 presidential run. pic.twitter.com/Vq1rViMWWv

— FOX & Friends (@foxandfriends) April 14, 2025

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck… Fuck. These fucking assholes. Shut the fuck up. Fox News will do more than anyone else to will Smith 2028 into existence with this kind of segments.

In a Sunday article with a sub-hed reading “Justice Department backs away from some cases involving foreign bribery, money laundering and crypto markets, defense lawyers brace for slowdown,” the Wall Street Journal reports that convicted felon President Trump’s sanctuary country for wealthy caucasians is hurting the law firms that specialize in negotiating non-conviction plea deals, buying off juries, and getting their clients sentenced to Club Fed.

Stephen A Smith, Host of ESPN’s ‘First Take,’ hammered the Democratic Party and suggested he has “no choice” but to ughnnnn…. Oh my God…. uhnnnnn, on Sunday, ABC News reports.

“I have no choice, because I’ve had elected officials, and I’m not going to give their names, elected officials coming up to me. I’ve had folks who are pundits come up to me [fapfapfapfapfapfap]. I’ve had folks that got a lot of money, billionaires and others that have talked to me about exploratory committees and things of that nature [fapfapfapfap]. I’m not a politician. I’ve never had a desire to be a politician [fapfapfapfapfapfap]” Smith told ABC News’ “This Week” co-anchor Jonathan Karl as both masturbated symbolically on Sunday in front of an audience of millions of viewers.

Smith reiterated that because of the number of people asking him to consider a run, he has to leave the door open to further just barely metaphorically masturbate in public because fuck him.

Now this isn’t a 1-to-1 because the last time this was asked in March it was on an Economist survey and it’s worded slightly differently. It is however the same pollster, YouGov, asking respondents to this CBS News national survey “Which is more responsible for the state of the US economy today?” to which 21 percent of respondents overall answered “Joe Biden’s policies” to 54 percent convicted felon President Trump’s policies. Another 20 percent said “Both equally,” a switch from a closer Biden 32 – Trump 48 on the March 19th Economist survey (8 percent said “neither” on that one).

It’s the shift among Republicans pre-and-post-“Liberation Day” that’s more interesting: In March, 57 percent of the Economist’s survey’s respondents identifying as GOP voters said it was Biden’s economy to 26 percent of Trump’s and 7 percent “neither.” Now in this month’s CBS survey it’s 39 percent Biden, 40 percent Trump, and 17 percent saying “Both equally” because they’re too chickenshit to admit the truth to themselves that their Orange God Emperor did this to them.

Other hilarious findings: 46 percent of Republicans rate the stock market as being in “very” (9 percent) or “fairly good” (37 percent) condition versus 14 percent of Dems “very” (2 percent) or “fairly” (12 percent). On prices going up or down: 54 percent of respondents overall say “prices on the goods and services you buy” have been going up “in the last few weeks,” 12 percent say going down, 34 percent say staying the same, while among Dems it was 78 percent up, 5 percent down, 17 percent same to Republican respondents’ 31 percent admitting they’re up, 18 percent down, 50 percent staying the same, and Christ what a fucking stupid thing to lie about due to partisanship.

“Arab Voters are very upset that Comrade Kamala Harris, the Worst Vice President in the History of the United States and a Low IQ individual, is campaigning with ‘dumb as a rock’ War Hawk, Liz Cheney, who, like her father, the man that pushed Bush to ridiculously go to War in the Middle East, also wants to go to War with every Muslim Country known to mankind. Remember, Liz Cheney lost her Seat by the LARGEST margin, 40 percent, in History for a sitting Congressperson. If Kamala gets four more years, the Middle East will spend the next four decades going up in flames, and your kids will be going off to War, maybe even a Third World War, something that will never happen with President Donald J Trump in charge. For our Country’s sake, and for your kids, Vote Trump for PEACE!” posted convicted felon President Trump on October 21, 2024, 174 days before his now-Secretary of Defense threatened war in the Middle East, specifically against Iran.

In another chickenshit move to avoid libs heckling them, computers and phones will be exempted from big fat vagina convicted felon President Trump’s tariffs on Chinese exports, CNN reports.

Guess all that shit from Howard Nutlick about Americans screwing iPhones together was just that.

Convicted felon President Trump’s regime is “reviewing” the guilty plea and six year prison sentence of Russian former FBI informant Alexander Smirnov, a double agent for Russia who fed Team Orange a bunch of bullshit about Hunter Biden in 2019 and 2020, ABC News reports.

Convicted felon President Trump’s reich has moved to declare 6,000 immigrants living in the United States under temporary protected status as “dead” within the Social Security Administration’s database in order to make their lives more difficult, and get them to “self-deport, “the AP reports.

If you ever needed a perfect snapshot of the Trump team’s utter laziness and cowardice, well here it is: They’re not going to bother rounding these people up or getting legislation passed to nullify their ability to work and have bank accounts, etc, they’re just going to fuck things up for them.