Categories
Uncategorized

White House claims the lame Epstein binders handed out to those MAGA influencers in February said that Trump’s name is in the files

“The White House is not denying that @realDonaldTrump’s name appears in the Epstein files, an official tells me. That fact is included in briefing binders that have been shared with influencers, the official said,” Reuters’ White House correspondent Jeff Mason reports, copied verbatim here to not mince the wording of the non-denial coupled with the pretty fucking daring assertion that the infamous February dancing incident’s materials included such a limited hangout.

That Potemkin disclosure – in which the influencers were made to look like complete assholes by the White House for walking out with reams of already public info – was a shitshow in MAGA world and it set up the powder keg that’s exploding on Team Orange right now. Cannot be certain right now if that specific detail is true or not. Maybe it is, but if not holy fuck this would be an indicator of like Chernobyl-level desperation. Telling a reporter “we gave our dipshit Twitter influencers documents conceding that Trump’s name appears in multiple government files on Jeffrey Epstein” while hoping that DC Draino, Scott Presler, that Libs of TikTok shitbag, and the other ones who were there that day to play along with it months AFTER they got played would be… entertaining to say the least.

Categories
Uncategorized

Roy Cooper to launch Epstein files on Epstein files…day

Former North Epstein Files Governor Roy Cooper will launch a Ghislaine Maxwell um, running for the building with the big pointy dome and then Epstein files, Jeffrey reports. Release the Epstein files.

Cooper will Epstein his campaign files with a message of the Epstein files and the island because Trump flew there a bunch of times. Sources say the Epstein files potentially implicate Trump in sex trafficking. Democrats are really excited to have Epstein files with a record of winning handily in the deep Epstein state that was close in multiple recent Epstein files cycles. Jeffrey Epstein.

In conclusion, getting to the bottom of the Epstein files is an important story for Americans.

Categories
Uncategorized

House Oversight seeks to depose Ghislaine Maxwell next month

Confirming that his client has received her subpoena from the House Oversight Committee and is set to be deposed on August 11th, Ghislaine Maxwell’s lawyer David Markus tells CNN’s Kaitlan Collins that “As for the Congressional subpoena, Ms Maxwell is taking this one step at a time. She looks forward to her meeting with the DOJ, and that discussion will help inform how she proceeds.”

Addressing Mike Johnson pre-questioning her credibility, Markus said “We understand Speaker Johnson’s general concern – Congress should always vet the credibility of its witnesses. But in this case, those concerns are unfounded. If Ms Maxwell agrees to testify before Congress and not take the 5th – and that remains a big if – she would testify truthfully, as she always has said she would and as she will with Mr Blanche. The truth should not be feared or preemptively dismissed. No previous prosecutor from the Southern District of New York or elsewhere has had the courage to meet with Ms Maxwell and ask her these important questions. So we are grateful to Mr Blanche and his DOJ that they are approaching this an open mind. That’s how our system is supposed to work.”

Categories
Uncategorized

Judge spikes Trump bid to unseal Epstein grand jury testimony

A Florida federal judge on Wednesday denied convicted felon President Trump’s regime’s bid to unseal testimony from 2008 grand jury investigation that led to the first indictment of his friend Jeffrey Epstein, CNBC reports on the fat fuck getting exactly what he wanted: Being able to blame a judge for what’s actually his problem. It’s not really going to work considering that testimony would represent a pittance compared to what the Justice Department would have in their own files.

Categories
Uncategorized

Troops planning mutiny against Hegseth: report

Maybe should’ve tucked “non-violent” in there above, but the Daily Beast reports that a whole shit ton of military brass have been “quietly” circulating drafts of a letter that they will sign to make public their utter lack of confidence in their former Fox News weekend host boss Pete Hegseth.

Which would be pretty extraordinary and unprecedented since, you know, the military is a very top-down, discipline-oriented structure with a long-stablished culture of discouraging questioning command even if the UCMJ didn’t make such behavior literally a crime. Guess Hegseth really fucking sucks that bad that these guys are confident they can effectively pull off a soft coup d’etat.

Categories
Uncategorized

Bryan Kohberger sentenced to life in Aryan Brotherhood

A judge in Idaho on Wednesday sentenced incel quadruple murderer Bryan Kohberger to life in the Aryan Brotherhood, the notorious white nationalist prison gang in the most notoriously white nationalist state, for the November 2022 stabbing deaths of University of Idaho undergrads Kaylee Goncalves, Madison Mogen, Xana Kernodle, and Ethan Chapin, the Associated Press reports.

It’s not clear whether Kohberger, who pleaded guilty earlier this month to avoid being sentenced to getting shot in the chest multiple times by white nationalist prison guards, will be accepted by the white nationalist prison gang and inducted as a member, or if he will be killed by them for being too weird. Or if they’ll induct him and decide he’s too weird to be a member and then kill him.

Categories
Uncategorized

New “Gluten-Free Chickpea Tortillas” marketed to gluten dorks

“Mission Foods, the world’s leading brand for tortillas and wraps, is proud to introduce its newest Better for You innovation: Mission Gluten-Free Chickpea Tortillas. Crafted with roasted chickpea flour, these new tortillas bring a fresh twist to the gluten-free aisle with soft texture, high fiber and big flavor in every bite. Whether you’re eating gluten-free or just looking to mix up mealtime, Mission Gluten-Free Chickpea Tortillas offer the tastiest new option in wraps, tacos and all your favorite creations for customers with plant-based preferences,” says Mission in a press release announcing their new pandering to the dorks who obsess over gluten like it’s still fucking 2007.

“‘We’re always listening to our customers and looking for ways to meet their needs, tastes and lifestyles,’ said Garret Adrian, senior brand manager, Mission Foods. ‘With our new Chickpea Tortillas, we’re giving people the bold flavor and nutrition they want, while staying true to the quality they expect from a Mission Foods tortilla,'” the release continued and holy shit why don’t they just market corn tortillas to these gluten truthers instead? Why chickpeas?

Categories
Uncategorized

Michigan GOP Congressman passes on Senate primary

Republican Michigan Congressman Bill Huizenga tells the Detroit News that he won’t be entering the GOP primary for next year’s Senate race, leaving the field empty save for 2024 loser former Congressman Mike Rogers, trying again after his defeat to Elissa Slotkin. “After careful consideration with Natalie and my family, as well as in consultation with President Trump, I have decided against a bid for US Senate in Michigan,” said Huizenga, which translated to normie-speak means “Trump told me I can either stay in my seat or be out of a job in 2027 because he’s not endorsing me.”

If there’s one thing that Trump has been doing right – in his own self-interest, of course – or at least appears to not be acting like a fucking complete shitbrain in it’s been his management of the party ahead of the midterms. It was obvious enough with the gerrymandering fights he’s starting in Texas and supposedly Ohio and even Missouri in his obsessive quest to maintain the House GOP’s majority but the other side is the admittedly impressive level of discipline he’s enforcing on front-line seats, that just in a single morning we’ve got Mike Lawler and Bill Hugzafucka whatever his name is announcing they’re staying put to give the fat bastard fewer open House districts to worry about.

Outside of the shitshow in Texas, which is kind of a sui generis situtation given the mutual loyalty between Trump and Picasso-faced Attorney General Ken Paxton, it’s definitely a switch from 2022 Trump’s absolute fucking trainwreck of a candidate slate. Hugzagroina may or may not be more electable than a guy who last year lost a Senate race in a state Trump won by like 80,000 votes but the Orange God Emperor isn’t willing to find out and values his House seat more than a Senate flip.

Categories
Uncategorized

Wall Street Journal now just blatantly fucking with MAGAmerica

Lololol… Holy shit. This is like a media war crime against the fanboys. One week the “fake news” Journal reports their Orange Allah wrote a pervy birthday letter to Jeffrey Epstein and then the next they validate at least some of the MAGA buttholes’ preexisting enmity toward Satan incarnate?

Yeah, sure, cognitive dissonance inhabits very few spaces found under red hats, but this is still a hell of a whiplash that lacks only for sequencing and proximity. Like it would’ve been just gold if this one dropped last Thursday and then like an hour or two later was the Epstein birthday card.

Categories
Uncategorized

Smaller majority of GOP voters think Trump decreasing inflation

A chart on this month’s Marquette University Law School national survey shows that a pretty slim majority – 55 percent – of Republican voters think convicted felon President Trump’s policies lower inflation, which is stupid but still progress considering the overwhelming majority – 76 percent – of the fucking idiots who were under that notion in early December 2024. While the rise in the number of GOP respondents who say Trump’s policies will increase/are increasing inflation rose from 11 to 26 percent, what’s funnier is the increase for “Have no effect on inflation” from 14 to 19 percent.

Must’ve been painful for that 5 percent, that after four years of “Biden made my Big Mac Extra Value Meal more expensive” the most they can admit to themselves and a pollster is that “Okay, Trump’s not actually lowering prices.” Fascinating to ponder the kind of psychic torment one must self-inflict to maintain that “neutral” position rather than letting go and admitting that the fat fuck is making life worse while allowing those behind a sex-trafficking operation to escape the consequences.

In another question demonstrating how certain aspects of reality are steadily if slowly percolating into the fluid-filled brains of MAGA voters the number of Republican respondents who said the Big Beautiful Bill would “reduce or increase federal deficit” dropped from 78 percent in early May to 56 percent this month while the number who said it would increase doubled from 22 to 44.

Categories
Uncategorized

Uber announces new pickup market for lesbian sex pest drivers

“At Uber, we believe that when we make our platform better for women, we make it better for everyone. Across the US, women riders and drivers have told us they want the option to be matched with other women on trips. We’ve heard them – and now we’re introducing new ways to give them even more control over how they ride and drive. For the first time in the US, we’re launching Women Preferences – features designed to give women riders and drivers more choice, more confidence, and more flexibility when they use Uber,” says Uber in a statement announcing that late night driving is no longer just for heterosexual male sex offenders or homosexu- This joke’s a little much, isn’t it?

Yeah, probably going too far on this one. In all seriousness Uber’s plan is long overdue – though maybe it had to wait for a critical mass of women in the driver pool – and beyond the obvious safety benefit for women passengers it’s going to create legitimate earning opportunities for female drivers too, picking up extra cash on the side without having to worry too much about their own safety. Easy to imagine that some women drivers could just never toggle out of women-passengers only mode because their women passengers would never toggle out of women-drivers only mode, an infinite loop that also eventually discourages male scumbags from even bothering driving for Uber.

Categories
Uncategorized

Orange Kaiju claims to have stomped all over Japan

“Remember, Japan is, for the first time ever, OPENING ITS MAKET TO THE USA, even to cars, SUV’s, Trucks, – and everything else, even agriculture and RICE, which was always a complete NO, NO. The Open Market Japan may be as big a profit factor as the Tariffs themselves, but was only gotten because of the Tariff Power. They also agreed to buy BILLIONS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF MILITARY AND OTHER EQUIPMENT, and give us 90 percent of 550 BILLION DOLLARS – AND MORE!!! MAGA!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Wednesday, taking credit for the accomplishments of the Johnson Administration… The Andrew Johnson Administration of 1866. He got impeached too.

“I WILL ONLY LOWER TARIFFS IF A COUNTRY AGREES TO OPEN ITS MARKET. IF NOT, MUCH HIGHER TARIFFS! Japan’s Markets are now OPEN (for first time ever!). USA BUSINESSES WILL BOOM!” the fat bastard then followed up, forgetting to mention the fentanyl and the trade defecits.

Categories
Uncategorized

Playbook marvels at “ESCAPE VELOCITY” of the Epstein shitshow

The sum total value of the reporting in the daily morning “tipsheets” National Zero most often reads/skims – those being Playbook by Politico, Punchbowl News AM, and, to a looser definition, Axios – just barely edges out their overall insufferableness and all-too frequent dictation by Republican malefactors. A world in which these missives aren’t composed by complete twats is a world mankind has not earned from its cruel puppeteer(s) in the heavens, thus this site is forced to remark on the grating, circlejerky hype-ified language in Wednesday’s Playbook even whilst said grating, circlejerky hype-ified language thrilled to the torment facing the GOP in the next stretch.

“ESCAPE VELOCITY: For the last 16 days, the Epstein saga has blotted out the sun inside Washington, the kind of evanescent Beltway fodder the White House insists won’t break through outside of newsletters like this one,” Playbook opens their morning edition with and God just damn you. Damn you to hell. Like seriously go see a physical therapist for the neck strain from sucking your own… Ughhhh, anyway yeah once they get to the actual quotes it’s entertaining shit.

“The best hope of getting OBBB to break through is having Trump hammer it home. So anything that knocks him off of that message and steers the conversation to things that divide Rs and force members onto the defensive is a hindrance,” said one “prominent Republican strategist who has worked on Senate races” and holy fuck this guy seriously wants the party to change the subject from Epstein to their bill which just knocked 10 million people off of their health insurance, lol.

Categories
Uncategorized

“President Biden is too old… Kind of like an old Buick… Some days he starts, and other days he doesn’t,” said John Kennedy in 2022

Appearing on the July 13, 2022 edition of Fox News steakhead Sean Hannity’s show, Republican Louisiana Senator John Kennedy said “President Biden is clearly struggling. He struggled today in the Middle East and I take no joy in that. I trust the American people, and I think the American people have figured things out. I don’t consider myself an expert in too many things, if any, but I know how to read a poll. A majority of Americans, to them, the president is about as popular as cholera. The American people did not reach this conclusion this morning. They have reasons for believing that.”

“Number one, the majority of Americans don’t believe that President Biden is in charge. They think the president is not the president. They think that the real president is whoever controls the teleprompter. Number two, fair or unfair: the majority of Americans think that President Biden is too old. Kind of like an old Buick. Some days he starts, and other days he doesn’t,” Kennedy continued in making light of the then-president’s age by comparing him to an old car with a failing ignition switch.

That’s not the clip above though. That’s the now 73 year-old Kennedy on the July 22nd edition of Fox Business News cokehead Larry Kudlow’s show sounding what could reasonably be compared to an old car with a failing ignition switch, a moment that Kudlow chalked up to “technical problems” and not, you know, neurological ones that may or may not have also been wrought by karma.

Categories
Uncategorized

Stewie Rhodes warns Trump over Epstein shitshow

Oath Keepers founder Stewie Rhodes, the one-eyed MAGA terrorist who was serving a lengthy sentence for seditious conspiracy over his group’s plot to overthrow the US government on January 6th, 2021 until convicted felon President Trump freed him immediately upon returning to power just over four years later, is less than impressed with the Orange God Emperor’s handling of the Jeffrey Epstein shitshow and publicly warned the fat fuck about it last week, the Daily Beast reports.

“I believe 90 percent of his own base understands that Epstein was up to something and we know that’s the tip of the iceberg,” Stewart Rhodes told the crowd at a MAGA event at the Comfort Inn in Granville, Texas. Lol at the random hole in the wall hotel being the venue. “It’s really disheartening to see President Trump just declare that to be a hoax. I don’t think it is. And I think it’s going to cause him trouble in his own base. It already is,” the convicted insurrectionist continued.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Republican Iowa Lt Gov nominee’s parents sue him for unpaid rent

3 hours ago

Reich sues to pre-overturn Alaska Senate election

13 hours ago

Orange Tyrant loses his shit at reporter giving him opportunity to walk back from siding with child rapist’s willing accomplice

13 hours ago

Regime charges FBI agents with lying to Congress over Hunterghazi

14 hours ago

Marc Thiessen seems worried

19 hours ago

Trump triples down on demonizing teenage rape victim

1 day ago

Close Epstein friend at least consistent on protecting pedophiles

1 day ago

Fox News reports Trump rallygoers willing to suffer high gas prices

2 days ago

Jaydee tells Buckeye GOP to buck up and stop whining about Vivek Ramaswamy platforming a child rapist’s willing accomplice

2 days ago

CNN poll finds Trump approval its lowest-ever

3 days ago

Ketamine Brain thinks it’ll be illegal for Dems to subpoena him

3 days ago

Da Vek pumps $4 million into ad starring Acton’s evil old hag mom

3 days ago

Orange Tyrant wants to demolish press briefing room: NYT

3 days ago

Tired old shitbag makes limp effort to excite MAGA voters: Watch live

3 days ago

Jon Husted in better shape than Da Vek in Ohio: Marist poll

4 days ago

Tough crowd for a tired act in Kansas: Watch Live

4 days ago

Israel’s greatest friend vows to abandon them if Netanyahu ousted

6 days ago

Neckbeard struggles through ill-advised CBS News town hall

6 days ago

Dem early voter turnout explodes in Iowa and North Carolina

7 days ago

Ashley Hinson asks fans to donate gas money for campaign bus

1 week ago

Brent crude hits $109 a barrel

1 week ago

“Maybe it’s not for her”: Trump on Pizzagate Kate

1 week ago

When will Mehmet Oz denounce Kid Rock’s Islamophobic hatred?

1 week ago

Surprise! Team Orange came up empty on Omar’s status in 2019

1 week ago

Complete piece of shit Trump/Epstein pal fired from regime

1 week ago

Pizzagate Kate’s bad time on Hannity’s insanity hour

1 week ago

President gets head start on precriminations

1 week ago

Matt Gaetz responds to sex trafficking lawsuit by doxxing plaintiff

1 week ago

FBI statement on suspicious mail gives away the targets

1 week ago

Orange Overlord changes execution to private, invite-only affair

1 week ago

Fox News ends clip before morose reaction to their own poll

1 week ago

Jim Jordan eyes House GOP championship belt

1 week ago

Regime trying to denaturalize and deport Ilhan Omar

1 week ago

MAGAmericans blame Democrats for inflation

1 week ago

Netanyahu backs off any new pre-election day Iran attacks

1 week ago

September inflation beats expectations

1 week ago

WATCH LIVE: Haggard old bag of shit limps into Alaska

1 week ago

Chickenshit tells Houthis to do whatever they want for three weeks

2 weeks ago

Tepid reviews for Zacharia inside Trump Regime

2 weeks ago

Kim Guilfoyle fired

2 weeks ago

Pizzagate Kate’s debut as Regime Info Minister: Watch Live

2 weeks ago

MAGA PACs pull plug on GOP incumbents

2 weeks ago

Paxton partied in Dubai with fugitives wanted in US

2 weeks ago

WATCH LIVE: Orange Scumbag campaigns in Ohio

2 weeks ago

Trump “looking at” firing Kim Guilfoyle

2 weeks ago

Russian bots taken offline by Ukrainian strikes on data centers

2 weeks ago

“Look what The New York Times did to my beautiful Doral”

2 weeks ago

DHS raids Ilhan Omar’s home

2 weeks ago

Chuck Grassley files 2028 reelection paperwork

2 weeks ago

Neurodivergent Mormon disclaims agency over US energy supply

2 weeks ago

x
x
x
x
x
x