Several Gazans contacted by Reuters were a little underwhelmed by convicted felon President Trump’s “proposal” to send US troops to take control of the territory and forcibly relocate them.

“Trump can go to hell, with his ideas, with his money, and with his beliefs. We are going nowhere. We are not some of his assets,” said Samir Abu Basel in Gaza City via a chat app. “If he wants to resolve this conflict he should take the Israelis and put them in one of the states (in America). They are the strangers, not the Palestinians. We are the owners of the land. He spoke with much arrogance…he can test us, and soon he will find out his fantasies don’t work with us.”

Hey Kamala, GAZA is speaking now bitch.

— Nour Zeidan (@nour_zeidan) November 6, 2024

Fuck Trump. Fuck Netanyahu. Fuck Israel.

Palestine is for Palestinians ONLY.

— Nour Zeidan (@nour_zeidan) February 5, 2025

Fat feckless President Trump doesn’t care about regular Americans. Crime and prices are out of control under his regime, with the situation so bad that the New York Post is reporting a trailer full of over 100,000 organic chicken eggs was stolen from a poultry farm in Pennsylvania on Saturday.

In a statement the farm, Pete and Gerry’s, said they’re “aware of a recent incident in Franklin County, Pennsylvania, and we are actively working with local law enforcement to investigate. We take this matter seriously and are committed to resolving it as quickly as possible. Due to the ongoing investigation, we cannot comment any further on this matter.” Warmonger Trump was too busy talking about sending American troops to die taking over Gaza than comment on the egg heist.

From a Caldwell, Idaho Police Department Instagram post: “On February 2 at 6:00 pm, officers were dispatched to Walmart in response to a theft in progress. While en route, dispatch informed responding officers that the suspect, later identified as 32 year-old Dylan Rockwell, had exited the store heading westbound on Cleveland Blvd in his vehicle and provided a description. Through their investigation, officers identified Rockwell and intercepted him at his residence. Officers detained him without incident and recovered the stolen merchandise. During questioning, our officers interviewed Rockwell, who admitted to committing several thefts from Walmart over a period of time.”

“Rockwell admitted to wearing a ring with a barcode, specifically for tomato soup, which he wore on his finger and would scan large items, causing the system to register the items at a much lower price. On this occasion, Rockwell had stolen a grill, valued at $300.00, which scanned as the tomato soup. Rockwell was arrested and charged with felony burglary,” the post continued.

There’s a Green Lantern joke in there somewhere. Any DC Comic nerds want to step up here?

Free spirited backpacker and accused murderer Luigi Mangione has hired big shot lawyer Avraham Moskowitz, described in a court filing as “a member of the SDNY Capital Panel and has frequently been found learned in the law of capital cases. In arriving at the recommendation, I have contacted the government and defense counsel and have reviewed the conflict list. Mr Moskowitz is available and does not appear to have any conflict,” JustSecurity’s Adam Klasfeld reports.

Obviously just taking a plea deal would be cheaper given the lack of any reasonable doubt of his guilt, but equally obvious is Mangione’s intent to “put the system on trial” (provided a judge will put up with that) or just roll the dice for on jury nullification in both his federal and state-level cases.

For any other defendant that’s a bad bet, but Luigi may just be a white OJ Simpson.

Greenlandic MPs on Tuesday debated a proposed measure to ban all foreign campaign funding, as well as cap contributions for a single candidate at $27,700 and $2,770 for a single contributor ahead of April’s elections, the AP reports on a pretty smart move all things considered.

“Episode 8 of the ongoing Halemaʻumaʻu eruption began at 9:52 pm HST on Monday, 3 February 2025 and is currently fountaining from the north vent. Episode 8 was preceded by small, sporadic spatter fountains that began on Sunday evening, February 2, which began to increase in intensity in the afternoon on 3 February until 9:52 pm, when sustained fountaining began. Fountains from the north vent have grown from 50 ft (15m) to over 250 ft (80 m) high in an hour and are feeding multiple lava streams at 10:50 pm HST. Active lava flows now cover approximately 15-20% of the crater floor. Seismic tremor began increasing and tilt at UWD switched from inflation to deflation at about 09:52 pm HST, the same time lava flows began erupting onto the crater floor,” says a US Geological Survey update about the ongoing period of eruptions on the Hawaii’s Big Island.

Yup. USGS is still going. The person who wrote that update probably got paid this week. Probably.

“Upon returning to the Presidency, Mr Trump has ordered the DOJ to conduct a review and purge of FBI personnel involved in these investigations and prosecutions. This directive is unlawful and retaliatory, and violates the Civil Service Reform Act 5 USC §§2301 and 2303. Additionally, on or about February 2, 2025, Plaintiffs were instructed to fill out a survey that would identify their specific role in the Jan 6 and Mar-a-Lago cases. Some Plaintiffs were required to fill out the survey themselves, others were told that their supervisors would be filling out the form. Plaintiffs were informed that the aggregated information is going to be forwarded to upper management.”

“Plaintiffs assert that the purpose for this list is to identify agents to be terminated or to suffer other adverse employment action. Plaintiffs reasonably fear that all or parts of this list might be published by allies of President Trump, thus placing themselves and their families in immediate danger of retribution by the now pardoned and at-large Jan 6 convicted felons. Defendant’s gathering, retention, and disclosure of Plaintiffs’ activities related the acts of former President Trump is a violation of Plaintiffs’ rights under the First Amendments to the Constitution.”

“It is also a violation of Plaintiffs’ Fifth Amendment substantive and due process rights, such that the Court has the authority to enjoin the serious harm it is likely to cause. Moreover, the publication or dissemination of the information in these surveys would be a violation of the Privacy Act of 1974, and would place Plaintiffs in immediate risk of serious harm. Accordingly, Plaintiffs seek to enjoin the publication or dissemination of these surveys, or any information derived therefrom,” says the complaint from nine FBI employees filed in a DC federal court on Tuesday.

The “Mr Trump” at the top is a nice touch, though they use “President Trump” further down.

Quite a row in the constabulary on the Isle of Wight, as the Telegraph reports PC Tia Johnson-Warne and her bloke are no longer seeing each other given the slaggish behaviour she exhbited at a Wetherspoon’s in Ryde recently. Worse yet, she faces misconduct charges for the incident. The row began when Johnson-Ware and ex-bloke PC Kane Brookes were enjoying pints in the pub with their mates on the service when she started grabbing the wanks of two of them other male officers.

Police Constable A, who cannot be named for legal reasons, testified Monday that Johnson-Warne groped him whilst Brooks was chatting elsewhere in the pub. When PC A moved away, Johnson-Warne immediately sent him a text message “Don’t you want to fuck me?” accompanied by a photo of her intimates. PC B, also sexually assaulted by Johnson-Warne on the night in question, told the inquiry that their entire group had been cut off by the barkeep due to her piss drunkenness.

“It was incredibly awkward, I have not had to deal with that behaviour before. I did not know how to process or deal with it. It was not anything I invited or wanted, I wanted that situation to stop,” PC A testified, while PC B still feels traumatized. “I did feel that I was a victim of something sexually inappropriate. I’m not as sociable nowadays. I have tried to ignore what happened and move on.”

Johnson-Ware faces other charges for punching Brookes after he broke up with her over the incident and violating her bail from the assault charge. It’s not clear if she’s going to be fired.

The first of who knows how many military flights to the Guantanamo Bay Naval Base took off on Tuesday, CNN reports on the internment of the poor souls indefinitely at a highly secured base on the island of Cuba almost certainly simply because its name evokes a godforsaken imprisonment.

Brainwormed conspiracy freak Robert F Kennedy Jr’s nomination to HHS advanced out of the Senate Finance Committee on a party-line vote on Tuesday, with Louisiana Republican – and actual doctor – Bill Cassidy capitulating at the last minute after weeks of wavering on Bobby.

In very related news, Tulsi Gabbard’s nomination to serve as Director of National Intelligence got a similar boost when Indiana Senator Todd young, another wavering Republican, announced he would support her in the Senate Intel Committee. That vote is expected later Tuesday.

Alerting the nation to a massive health crisis, President Trump on Tuesday posted that “20 years ago, Autism in children was 1 in 10,000. NOW IT’S 1 in 34. WOW! Something’s really wrong. We need BOBBY!!! Thank You! DJT,” effectively guaranteeing that “BOBBY,” as in Health and Human Services Secretary nominee Robert F Kennedy Jr, would find a cure for the neurodevelopmental disorders affecting millions of Americans. Trump did not elaborate on the nature of said cure.

Nor did he address the assertion that the increase in autism diagnoses could be attributable to advances in pediatric healthcare that expanded the criteria for said diagnoses. But since Trump is a talented polymath possessing a vast array of expertise in so many different fields of knowledge it would be foolish to question his mastery of the neurological sciences or the statistics he cited.

Could probably keep going with the sarcasm, but any day now the adult autism sufferer Trump placed in charge of the entire federal funding apparatus is probably going to cut off payments to agencies and specialists that provide therapy services to children suffering from autism.

“The continuing egg shortage caused by HPAI (Bird Flu) has caused a dramatic increase in egg prices. Consumers and restaurants are being forced to make difficult decisions. Effective February 3, Waffle House has implemented a temporary .50 per egg surcharge to all menus. Rather than increasing prices across the menu, this is a temporary targeted surcharge tied to the unprecedented rise in egg prices. As long as they are available, quality, fresh-cracked, Grade A Large eggs will remain a key ingredient in many of our customers favorite meals. While we hope these price fluctuations will be short-lived we cannot predict how long this shortage will last.”

“We are continuously monitoring egg prices and will adjust or remove the surcharge as market conditions allow,” says a notice from the breakfast chain picked up by WSOC Atlanta’s Joe Bruno.

Wow, that bird flu epidemic is bad. Well we should all be extra understanding and realize that President Trump can only do so much to help keep prices down for everyday Americans. Some things are just out of his hands and he said as much on the campaign trail. And even if he actually did specifically mention the price of eggs as being too high that was just rhetoric and most people know that. Nobody should be politicizing this. It’s better to just cut back or pay more than being divisive and trying to blame Trump for the increased costs for eggs at Waffle House.

The time that Chick-fil-A had a major sauce shortage was completely different. Oklahoma Governor Kevin Stitt was right to tell supporters that “Chick-fil-A has a sauce shortage. And you want to know why? Because of Joe Biden’s radical liberal policies” in a 2021 fundraising email. It wasn’t political.

National Zero will resume our regular coverage after Chuck Todd-ifying the completely apolitical, non-partisan nature of the bird flu outbreak-induced egg surcharge at all Waffle House locations.

A Texas man demonstrating at a recent pro-immigrant protest in El Paso told the Texas Tribune that he’s worried that his father – who works at a farm in nearby New Mexico could end up being deported back to Old Mexico if caught up in an ICE raid. The man, who only identified himself as Alan, said he’s a police officer and was also angered by President Trump’s pardon of every single Capitol rioter, even ones who brutally assaulted cops during the January 6th, 2021 insurrection.

Alan is just one of tens of millions of Americans holding deep concerns that the 47th president’s unconventional policy decisions could affect them and their families personally, wishing that something had been done last year to prevent him from taking office and doing the most abhorrent and disgraceful things that he had repeatedly and emphatically promised to do while campaigning.

The Tribune writes that “Alan said he voted for Donald Trump because of worries about the economy and because he believes Trump is pro-police and would combat the public’s negative perception of law enforcement. He said he believed Trump’s promises to make everyday items affordable for middle-class families,” and then quoting him as saying “I just don’t agree with how he’s going about the mass deportations.” It’s not clear if eggs are cheaper yet at the store where Alan buys groceries.

Come for icy monster Laura Ingraham sparing most, but not all, of her venom for convicted felon President Trump’s capitulation to Mexico and Canada, stay for the unfortunately too brief defense (clip got cut off) from this Patrick Bet-David ballsucker who lamely begins his spin with “I think President Trump is a guy, that my opinion, who likes to ask people ‘What do you think?’ behind closed doors. But at the end of the day he’s a strategist, he’s thinking five, 10, 15 moves ahead.” Lol.

“I am pleased to announce that Sean Parnell will be the Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs, and Chief Pentagon Spokesman. A Great American Patriot, Sean is a fearless Combat Veteran, who led one of the most decorated units in the Afghanistan War. He earned two Bronze Stars and a Purple Heart, while his platoon achieved an incredible record of eliminating over 350 enemy fighters. During my First Term, Sean was also instrumental helping pass the MISSION ACT, the BIGGEST VA Reform in History. Congratulations to Sean, his wonderful wife, and their five children!” posted convicted felon President Trump on his shitty Twitter knockoff late Tuesday.

Sean Parnell hasn’t been mentioned here in a few years. He kind of fell off the radar in late 2021 when he withdrew from the race to succeed now-retired Republican Pennsylvania Senator Pat Toomey just hours after a judge had denied him custody of his three kids in a contentious court battle with his ex-wife. The former Mrs Parnell had alleged Sean was verbally and physically abusive to both her and the children, with the judge finding her the more credible witness. It did not at all help that Parnell’s military novels contained multiple depictions of graphic violence against women.

Probably hurt actually. Altogether Parnell’s shittiness as a husband and father made him too toxic for a swing state GOP primary and for any position that would require Senate confirmation, but obviously just perfect for a hire role where Trump is the only one deciding whether he’s fit.

Two of the six punks who stole two New York City subway trains parked overnight in a tunnel under Brooklyn’s 4th Avenue late last month were arrested Monday – one of them taken out of class at his high school – and charged with reckless endangerment, possession of burglary tools, criminal mischief, and criminal trespass for their brief joyride, the New York Daily News reports.

Four others are still being sought in the January 25th incident in which the unnamed 15 and 17 year-old males – whose names were not made public due to their age – and their dudes stole not one but two R trains and drove them down an empty express track being used for overnight storage. The local chapter of the Transport Workers Union had offered a $3,500 reward for information leading to their arrests, a snitches’ prize that seemed to indicate the union were upset a bunch of punk kids made them look lazy and incompetent by easily stealing two freaking subway trains.

As for the utter void of anything resembling even the most basic of security measures to prevent such joyriding, the New York City Transit Authority on Monday announced plans to address that by adding alarms and brighter lights to train controls to warn when cars are moved without permission. Not sure what that would have done in this situation besides maybe have made it easier to catch these kids after they had already stolen the train. The article also mentions that the MTA is looking at having biometric security installed, but who knows how the hell long that will take.