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Ken Paxton is single again, ladies!

Texas state Senator Angela Paxton, the shitty country musician wife of Picasso-faced state Attorney General Ken on Thursday announced that “after 38 years of marriage, I filed for divorce on biblical grounds. I believe marriage is a sacred covenant and I have earnestly pursued reconciliation. But in light of recent discoveries, I do not believe that it honors God or is loving to myself, my children, or Ken to remain in the marriage. I move forward with complete confidence that God is always working everything together for the good of those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose,” Spectrum Local reports. Damn, the “recent discoveries” must be pretty bad since he already cheated on her for who the hell knows how long and with how many different women, lol.

Also damn that she couldn’t fucking wait until Ken beat John Cornhole Cornyn in the primary so that whatever it is could damage him in a general against a Dem. On that note, Punchbowl News reports Senate Majority Leader John Thune and the Senate Leadership Fund PAC’s hacks went to the White House on Wednesday night for a private meeting with the Orange God Emperor specifically about the Texas Senate Primary. Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman writes Trump’s political team “are letting the race play out a bit before making a decision about how/whether to engage. They want to see if the double-digit polling gap closes,” the gap being Paxton’s near-prohibitive lead. On Thursday Thune told Punchbowl’s Max Cohen simply “We’re working on it” when asked if he’s worried about Cornyn.

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Fox News deletes clip of Bondi saying Epstein list was on her desk

If you’re wondering why it says “x.com/foxnews/status…” where should be a clip of scumbag Attorney General Pam Bondi telling the MAGA propaganda network the Epstein client list was on her desk, it’s because they deleted it at some point in the 13 hours and 35 minutes since their anti-Trump Libertarian contributor Kat Timpf shared it – and about four months after they posted it.

Suffice to say this is some pretty fucked up and stupid shit, like the clip doesn’t exist elsewhere and now they’re just Streisand Effecting it even more by trying to erase Bondi’s ill-advised words.

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Aussie surfer rescued from desert island

“A man missing from the state’s north since yesterday has been located. The 19-year-old man left his home in Wooli on a bicycle about 2.30pm yesterday (Wednesday 9 July 2025) towards Wooli Beach. When he failed to return home, concerned family members contacted officers from Coffs/Clarence Police District. Following a land and water search around Wooli Beach including local police, PolAir, Marine Area Command and Marine Rescue, the man was located safe today (10 July 2025) on a small island off Wooli. Police thank the public and media for their assistance,” says New South Wales, Australia Police in a statement a little sparse on details about the missing man.

The Sydney Morning Herald filled in the rest: 19 year-old Darcy Deefholts had gone surfing but was swept out to sea, and was found on North Solitary Island 18 hours later, too dazed to speak.

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FEMA chief completely AWOL

Acting FEMA Director David Richardson – the stupid asshole who had never heard of a thing called “hurricane season” before being appointed to the role – isn’t even showing up to do the acting, as Politico reports that he has not showed up at all at the Texas site of one of the deadliest natural disasters in years, and his only public-ish appearance this week was for a few seconds at the end of a virtual meeting of a panel appointed by convicted felon President Trump to dismantle FEMA.

Per Politico, “Richardson was in New Orleans on Wednesday as the death toll in Texas hit 120. He was attending a meeting of the panel President Donald Trump created to recommend major changes to FEMA. Richardson, who is not an official panel member, said nothing during the one-hour virtual meeting and was visible for only a few seconds at the end when he was introduced.”

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Pickle juice drinking contest returns to “Picklesburgh” festival

“What began as a quirky ode to pickled foods has officially become a national phenomenon. Celebrating its 10th anniversary this weekend, Picklesburgh returns to Downtown Pittsburgh, July 11–13, with its most talked about lineup yet, including the debut of a one-of-a-kind mechanical pickle ride. Bucking, spinning, and photo-ready, it’s the kind of moment made for headlines and hashtags.”

“Since launching in 2015, Picklesburgh has grown more than tenfold, evolving from a quirky weekend celebration into a signature event on Pittsburgh’s summer calendar and a major driver of Downtown’s economic momentum. The festival has received national recognition from outlets including USA Today, Food Network, Good Morning America, the Today Show,and Delish, and has been named USA Today’s Best Specialty Food Festival four times,” says a press release from the Pittsburgh Downtown Partnership that, if the featuring of “The first-ever mechanical pickle ride – a headline-making twist on the classic mechanical bull” wasn’t phallic and lurid enough also touts the return of “fan favorites like the Pickle Juice Drinking Contest and multiple live music stages.”

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“They would’ve released it during the election cycle”

Batshit insane Florida MAGA Congresswoman Anna Paulina Luna on Thursday told Kremlin-paid four-eyed penis Benny Johnson she’s sure that convicted felon President Trump isn’t on the Epstein client list because “they would’ve released it during the election cycle,” the “they” obvious enough.

Just going to self-plagiarize why that’s a pretty bullshit explanation: Say Merrick Garland held a press conference in June 2023 and stood there at the podium with poster-sized copies of the pics of Trump with the faces and breasts of topless underage girls blurred out, holding up a stack of papers saying “These are the files from the FBI’s multiple investigations into Jeffrey Epstein and we have strong evidence that former President Trump was the victim of a blackmail scheme in which he engaged in sexual relations with underage female sex trafficking victims.” Does anyone think Trump fans would have saw that and said “Oh my God. I didn’t want it to be true, but here it is RIGHT in front of me. There’s no way those pics were photoshopped or generated by AI. All this testimony and these financial documents are ironclad. I’m so ashamed I ever supported that fucking monster”?

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Kerr County Sheriff waited six hours to alert locals of flash flood

Audio obtained by ABC News reveals that a firefighter in Ingram, Texas urged the Kerr County Sheriff’s Office early Friday morning – 4:22 AM CDT local time – to alert residents that there was a flash flood headed downstream, a warning that took the county officials then nearly six hours to issue – while people were already drowning – because a supervisor needed to approve it.

“The Guadalupe Schumacher sign is underwater on State Highway 39. Is there any way we can send a CodeRED out to our Hunt residents, asking them to find higher ground or stay home?” the firefighter said in the dispatch audio, two which a sheriff’s office dispatcher responded “Stand by, we have to get that approved with our supervisor.” So yeah, that’s going to be a problem.

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Federal judge blocks Trump birthright citizenship order again

New Hampshire US District Court judge Joseph Laplante on Thursday said he’ll issue preliminary injunction against convicted felon President Trump’s order banning birthright citizenship, narrowing the class covered to children only, and will grant a 7-day stay of order for “court efficiency,” allowing the fat fuck’s lawyers to appeal again, the Union-Leader’s Ken Landrigan reports.

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Lee Zeldin champions the power of just asking questions

EPA Administrator Lee Zeldin came out swinging on Thursday, absolutely annihilating the libtardists who deny the power of just asking questions in favor of their agenda-driven facts and science. Who are you to dismiss out of hand the questions millions are just asking about whether chemtrails exist and are part of a larger homosexual Jewish plot to wipe out white Christian Americans? What makes you effiminate bookworms the arbiter of what to question about what people across the country have questions pointing toward a conclusion they already believe? Go get em Lee!

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Chinese communist cyborg bees: A growing threat?

In a story that Fox News needs to pick up five fucking hours ago, the South China Morning Post reports that researchers at Beijing Institute of Technology were able to create a cyborg bee by strapping a tiny mind-control transceiver to one of the black and yellow eusocial insects and got the little bastard to follow flight commands directed into its tiny brain roughly 90 percent of the time.

“Insect-based robots inherit the superior mobility, camouflage capabilities and environmental adaptability of their biological hosts,” wrote Professor Zhao Jieliang and his team. “Compared to synthetic alternatives, they demonstrate enhanced stealth and extended operational endurance, making them invaluable for covert reconnaissance in scenarios such as urban combat, counterterrorism and narcotics interdiction, as well as critical disaster relief operations.”

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Texts reveal Emil Bove urged lawyer to defy court order

Texas and emails obtained by Dems on Senate Judiciary reveal creepy looking weirdo former Trump defense lawyer-turned Justice Department official-turned federal circuit court nominee Emil Bove urged DOJ lawyers to defy court orders against deporting people, CBS News reports.

The messages are included as evidence in a whistleblower complaint filed by former DOJ lawyer Erez Reuveni, who was canned in April for insubordination after he admitted to a federal judge that Kilmar Abrego Garcia should not have been sent to the CECOT dungeon in El Salvador the previous month, with MAGA enforcer Todd Blanche informing Reuveni he had failed to “follow a directive from your superiors” in a suspension notice prior to the firing. Some of the text messages saved by Reuveni included exchanges between him and another Justice Department lawyer in which they refer to instructions from Bove to communicate a “fuck you” to the court’s order that Kilmar Abrego Garcia and others be returned from El Salvador to US custody after the March 15 deportation flights.

The full batch of messages is expected to be made public later Thursday by Senate Dems, who will probably accuse Bove of perjuring himself during testimony at his confirmation hearing last month.

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Noem doesn’t actually deny CNN’s reporting on her slowing relief

At no point in the dog murderer’s rant on Fox and Friends this morning – which obviously she’s in New York City and not Texas – did she specifically deny CNN’s reporting that she personally approves every FEMA invoice over $100,000, which delayed the deployment of urban search and rescue teams needed to comb through the wreckage and find survivors of the flash flood disaster.

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SNAP cuts to cost poor families $146 a month: research

Research by the Urban Institute finds that the Big Beautiful Bill’s SNAP food stamp cuts will affect 22.3 million US families” who will lose “losing some or all of their SNAP benefits. Of the total affected families, 5.3 million would lose at least $25 in SNAP benefits per month. Among these families, 3.3 million are families with children, 3.5 million are working families, and 1.7 million are families with a full-time full-year worker. Families losing at least $25 per month would lose $146 per month on average ($1,752 for a full-year recipient). At the state level, average monthly benefit losses for families losing at least $25 per month would range from $72 in Kansas ($864 annually) to $231 in the District of Columbia ($2,772 annually).” Haven’t heard how that’s great for the economy yet.

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“Sharp drop in police killed on duty credited to Trump-driven shift away from anti-police culture”: Moonie propaganda outlet

“The number of police officers killed in the line of duty has fallen by more than 50 percent across the nation so far this year, according to a new report. Analysts chalked up the positive trend to not only better police training but also a shift away from anti-police attitudes since President Trump was reelected last year,” says the lede, emphasis added, to a Tuesday Washington Times article headlined “Sharp drop in police killed on duty credited to Trump-driven shift away from anti-police culture,” shared by the convicted felon president on his shitty Twitter clone on Wednesday.

Yeah, you read that right. The headline asserts that the “Trump-driven shift away from anti-police culture” is solely responsible while the story itself gives it secondary billing after “better police training.” The Times, owned and operated by far-right South Korean messianic cult the Church of the Unification – aka the Moonies – then buries quotes from Bill Alexander, CEO of the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund whose semi-annual report did indeed find a sharp decrease in deaths in the line of duty, quotes themselves that kind of fall short of the article’s pitch.

Per the Times, Alexander “also said Mr Trump’s election last fall marked a culture shift away from the anti-police fervor that was so prominent in the previous five years,” then quoting him directly as saying “The profession writ large was targeted and demonized to, I might argue, an unfair degree.”

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Tudor Dixon not running for Senate in Michigan

“President Donald Trump and Vice President JD Vance are saving America. From securing the border at rapid speed and removing dangerous criminal illegal aliens from our communities, to bringing manufacturing jobs home and lowering taxes, President Trump’s America First policies are already having positive effects for Americans. My focus is protecting and advancing those policies, and as such, I will not be a candidate for the Republican nomination for Michigan governor or US Senate in 2026,” wrote former B-movie actress and failed 2022 Michigan GOP gubernatorial nominee Tudor Dixon in a statement on Wednesday. Total bummer for Democrats on that one.

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Fat Hitler announces 50 percent tax on copper imports

“I am announcing a 50 percent TARIFF on Copper, effective August 1, 2025, after receiving a robust NATIONAL SECURITY ASSESSMENT. Copper is necessary for Semiconductors, Aircraft, Ships, Ammunition, Data Centers, Lithium-ion Batteries, Radar Systems, Missile Defense Systems, and even, Hypersonic Weapons, of which we are building many. Copper is the second most used material by the Department of Defense! Why did our foolish (and SLEEPY!) ‘Leaders’ decimate this important Industry? This 50 percent TARIFF will reverse the Biden Administration’s thoughtless behavior, and stupidity. America will, once again, build a DOMINANT Copper Industry. THIS IS, AFTER ALL, OUR GOLDEN AGE!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Wednesday.

The fat fuck also appointed former MTV Real World cast member Sean Duffy to lead NASA.

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Noem fucking up Texas response with FEMA micromanaging

Four FEMA officials tell CNN that dog-murdering Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem is seriously hampering their response to the flash flood disaster in Texas as the desiccated plastic surgery experiment requires a personal signoff for every expenditure over $100,000, which to laypersons sounds like it could be reasonable enough but in practice may have cost lives.

“We were operating under a clear set of guidance: lean forward, be prepared, anticipate what the state needs, and be ready to deliver it,” a veteran FEMA official told CNN, emphasis theirs. “That is not as clear of an intent for us at the moment,” the official continued, adding that because of Noem’s micromanagement they were unable to pre-position Urban Search and Rescue crews when they needed to. Noem didn’t authorize this until Monday, more than 72 hours after the disaster.

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