Guatemala’s Volcan de Fuego lived up to its billing once again, spewing fiery, glowing red ash from its peak and forcing the evacuation of hundreds living nearby on Thursday, the AP reports. Local officials expected the exodus to increase given the mountain’s volatile nature and history of deadly eruptions, like a 2018 blast that sent pyroclastic flows down the slopes and into populated areas nearby, killing as many as 428 people, more than half of whom are still classified as “missing.”

Volcan de Fuego is unique in that it does not appear that Guatemala is also home to locales or geographic features bearing names such as “Rivera de Agua,” “Bosque de Arboles,” “Playa con Arena,” “Ciudad de Edificios,” “Granja de Agricultura,” “Ferrocaril para Trenes,” and the like.

Bannon is a communist retard

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) June 6, 2025

You may or may not have seen the Politico story the White House rushed out late Thursday night headlined “Trump, White House aides signal a possible détente with Musk” and printed at 11:16 PM EDT, in which they wrote “Signs of a truce are emerging in the increasingly bitter clash between two of the world’s most powerful men. President Donald Trump projected an air of nonchalance in an interview Thursday with POLITICO during a day of sparring over social media with Elon Musk,” and mentioned how Musk had replied “You’re not wrong,” to hedge fund douche Bill Ackman’s tweet begging the two to make up. It’s a lot of “The libs are having too much fun with this, we can’t give them any more entertainment” and very little “Okay, let’s make some serious changes to the Big Beautiful Bill to ensure we can still count on our good friend Elon’s support.”

“We write with profound alarm at allegations that files relating to convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein have not been declassified and released to the American public because they personally implicate President Trump. On June 5, 2025, Elon Musk, the former senior advisor to the President and head of the Department of Government Efficiency, a component of the Executive Office of the President, posted on the social media platform X: ‘@realDonaldTrump is in the Epstein files. That is the real reason they have not been made public.’ We ask that you immediately clarify whether this allegation is true and respond to this letter with the requested information and documentation,” write Dem Congressmen Stephen Lynch and Robert Garcia to Attorney General Pam Bondi and FBI Director Kash Patel, because why let a good accusatory tweet go to waste?

“The field restoration promotion team informed the Central Military Commission of the Workers’ Party of Korea of its work to restore the damaged destroyer on June 5. After restoring the balance of the destroyer early in June, the team moored it at the pier by safely conducting its end launching on Thursday afternoon. The team will start the next-stage restoration after the reexamination of a group of experts into the overall hull of the destroyer. The next-stage elaborate restoration is to be carried out at the dry dock of the Rajin Dockyard for the period of seven to ten days.”

“Jo Chun Ryong, secretary of the WPK Central Committee, who is guiding the work of the field restoration promotion team, said that the perfect restoration of the destroyer will be completed without fail before the convening of the Twelfth Plenary Meeting of the Eighth Central Committee of the WPK,” says a North Korean state media story that could, in theory, be based on real events.

Hard choice deciding which is the best part of this reel, but “You do know that the legacy media mob desperately wants to tear you guys apart and for you two to fight and get a divorce,” just might take it. Especially because Frau Ingraham said almost the exact same thing.

Japanese private space company iSpace’s Reliance lander might be okay. It might have had a successful touchdown on the surface of the Moon. All this UPI report says is that they lost contact with it. That doesn’t mean it crashed or tipped over or whatever else could’ve gone wrong.

Hell it could’ve been fine. Maybe a little glitch with the antenna thingamajiggy or the telemetry, um, dish. They might be able to write some code that’ll wake it back up and everything will be okay.

They made it all the way to the Moon and, okay, maybe it did crash. The crew at iSpace don’t see YOU successfully launching a probe and ALMOST landing it. How about you fucking try it? Asshole.

“This is an unfortunate episode from Elon, who is unhappy with the One Big Beautiful Bill because it does not include the policies he wanted. The President is focused on passing this historic piece of legislation and making our country great again,” Krazy Karoline tells CNN when asked to comment specifically on the matter of Ketamine Brain telling everyone that federal law enforcement is suppressing evidence the President of the United States of America raped underage girls.

The event is billed as a Fraternal Order of Police roundtable so it’s not clear if Mr “Law and Order” bullshit is going to take questions from reporters. It was supposed to start at 4:00 PM EDT but the fat fuck was still playing with his phone six minutes ago, posting “I don’t mind Elon turning against me, but he should have done so months ago. This is one of the Greatest Bills ever presented to Congress. It’s a Record Cut in Expenses, $1.6 Trillion Dollars, and the Biggest Tax Cut ever given. If this Bill doesn’t pass, there will be a 68 percent Tax Increase, and things far worse than that. I didn’t create this mess, I’m just here to FIX IT. This puts our Country on a Path of Greatness.”

Convicted felon President Trump’s regime on Thursday imposed US Treasury Department sanctions against four judges on the International Criminal Court, Reuters reports. The judges were not named.

Hey guys! Did you see Karine Jean-Pierre has a new book out where she absolutely TRASHES the Biden White House and ANNOUNCES she’s LEAVING THE DEMOCRATS! Total disarray for the party!

It’s in this Fox News article which copies from a Politico article where all these former Biden White House staff are FURIOUS with KJP! They’re in a PANIC over the book, which will come out in October. “SHE was the public face telling us all that this White House was on track and that Biden was amazing. And now she doesn’t even want to be a Democrat????” a former Biden official told Politico. “She’s making herself the middle ground here when Republicans hate her. She’s not in any position to be a connector of our two party system and assuming she could be is just ego.”

WOW! 🔥🔥🔥 That’s like a full on civil war in the Democrat Party! Absolutely devastating! Can you imagine what kind of BOMBSHELLS will be in this book by the former press secretary?

National Zero will resume our regular coverage after balancing out the news cycle with this important update on former White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre bringing the fire.

Time to drop the really big bomb:@realDonaldTrump is in the Epstein files. That is the real reason they have not been made public.

Have a nice day, DJT!

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) June 5, 2025

“Elon was ‘wearing thin,’ I asked him to leave, I took away his EV Mandate that forced everyone to buy Electric Cars that nobody else wanted (that he knew for months I was going to do!), and he just went CRAZY!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Thursday, followed by “The easiest way to save money in our Budget, Billions and Billions of Dollars, is to terminate Elon’s Governmental Subsidies and Contracts. I was always surprised that Biden didn’t do it!” Oh this is fucking great.

In related news, Republicans speaking anonymously to Wired were not that worried about the blast radius from the now-accelerating breakup between their daddies. Well, mostly not that worried. “If Musk actually successfully gets any votes switched to tank this bill and kills it,” a “senior” minion said, “then I think at that point he’s fucking dead to Donald Trump.” Others say this came at basically the worst time possible because Trump’s got “18 months” and then that’s it. “Some of the priorities of President Trump are not possible outside of this bill,” said a source, obviously earlier.

The more cautiously optimistic minions say shit like “If this really is a divorce and they start butting heads, it doesn’t take much for Trump to put out a Truth Social post that undermines what Elon’s trying to do.” A strategist “My advice to clients, many of which are in Congress in the Senate and seeking reelection, is to take the side of their voters and not the side of Elon Musk.” Meaning Trump.

“If you vote to basically throw your district under the bus, that means you’re going to lose in November anyways,” added one of the other sources about which side to pick.

Brazilian-born Massachusetts high schooler Marcelo Gomes, 18, who was thrown in an ICE gulag over the weekend when he was driving to friggin volleyball practice, was granted bail Thursday by a federal judge, the AP reports on a temporary reprieve in one of the most hastily-executed and downright indefensible of Stephen Miller-screaming meltdown induced hasty arrests.

Same story with Hong Kong-born Ming Li “Carol” Hui-Mayorga, granted bail Wednesday after over a month in the dungeon during which her Trump +60 Missouri town rallied to get her out.

Whoever came up with the names “Medicare” and “Medicaid” is a dick. How about calling one of them “Medicare” and the other “Healthaid”? Was that too far outside the box and forward thinking-y to MAYBE just consider that sometimes they might get confused? Like they’re no “Fannie Mae” and “Freddie Mac” which don’t get confused so much as they sound like federal housing policy is run by mental children who think major agencies should be named like frilly characters in stockings from some Little Miss Muffet book. Fannie and Freddie were always ready, to have a nice tea with their dolly and teddy. But then a stranger came along and they knew something was wrong and th-

Anyway Politico reports the Senate Republicans are looking at “possible Medicare [not a typo] provisions to help offset the cost of their megabill as they try to appease budget hawks who want more spending cuts embedded in the legislation,” which seems to indicate some political death wish.

False, this bill was never shown to me even once and was passed in the dead of night so fast that almost no one in Congress could even read it! https://t.co/V4ztekqd4g

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) June 5, 2025

Give in to your anger. With each passing moment you make this more entertaining.

“The body of a deceased ski mountaineer was recovered on the morning of Wednesday, June 4. Alex Chiu, aged 41 of Seattle, Washington, died as a result of a 3,000-foot fall from the [Denali] West Buttress climbing route on to the Peters Glacier. After recovery, rangers returned to Denali National Park and Preserve headquarters where his body was transferred to the state medical examiner. On Monday, June 2, the other two members of Chiu’s expedition reported that the un-roped ski mountaineer fell at a location known as Squirrel Point towards the Peters Glacier, an exposed rocky and serac covered 3000-foot face,” says a National Park Service press release.

“After witnessing the fall, the reporting party lowered over the edge as far as possible but was unable to see or hear Chiu. They then descended the West Buttress route for additional help before proceeding to Camp 1. Due to high winds and snow, ground and air search was unable to access the accident site until the early morning hours of June 4. Clearing weather on the north side of the Alaska Range provided the opportunity for two mountaineering rangers to depart Talkeetna for an aereal helicopter search to locate and recover the body. In 2010, an un-roped French mountaineer fell to his death near this same location towards the Peters Glacier. His body was never recovered.”

“There are currently 500 climbers on the mountain. The climbing season typically begins in early May and ends in early July,” the press release, edited to put in Denali’s real name, continued.

We can blame DOGE for this somehow, right? Like there would’ve been more signs warning Chiu of the hazards if Trump and Elon hadn’t gutted the National Park Service. Doesn’t need to be true it just has to feel true. Yeah. It feels true that DOGE did this and Chiu would be alive if Harris had won.

Three ICE agents stuck in Djibouti after a federal court blocked the transfer of eight undocumented criminals are not having a great time in the tiny, impoverished African country, with sources telling the New York Post they’re dealing with malaria, fumes from constant burning of trash and human waste, and guarding the eight while they’re imprisoned in shipping containers on a US Navy base.

“It is outrageous that this judge is putting the health and safety of law enforcement officers at risk for the sake of criminals,” said the source, blaming the judge when it was convicted felon President Trump who sent them there in the first place for some fucking reason. Seven of these guys were simply pulled out of prisons – one of them was doing a life sentence – and shipped to Africa because they were dangerous criminal aliens… who again, were nearly all in prison, doing the time that a judge had sentenced them to, shipped to South Sudan without any real explanation of why.

New German Chancellor Freidrich Merz is doing the shit work on Thursday, stuck in the Oval Office with a demented senior who wear orange makeup and for whom full sentences are optional.

“I just concluded a very good phone call with President Xi, of China, discussing some of the intricacies of our recently made, and agreed to, Trade Deal,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Thursday, evidently now resorting to simply lying about reaching a trade deal with China.

“The call lasted approximately one and a half hours, and resulted in a very positive conclusion for both Countries. There should no longer be any questions respecting the complexity of Rare Earth products. Our respective teams will be meeting shortly at a location to be determined. We will be represented by Secretary of the Treasury Scott Bessent, Secretary of Commerce Howard Lutnick, and US Trade Representative, Ambassador Jamieson Greer. During the conversation, President Xi graciously invited the First Lady and me to visit China, and I reciprocated. As Presidents of two Great Nations, this is something that we both look forward to doing. The conversation was focused almost entirely on TRADE. Nothing was discussed concerning Russia/Ukraine, or Iran. We will inform the Media as to scheduling and location of the soon to be meeting. Thank you for your attention to this matter!” the fat bastard continued. Unclear why he mentions Russia and Iran weren’t discussed.

Like they probably didn’t discuss Vanuatu or Cameroon or the Falkland Islands either. The dumbass already has his undersized hands full with unfucking the trade situation and finding an “off ramp” with China, so it’d be best if he did not bring anything else up on the call with Beijing’s overlord.

“We are very sad to report this evening that Donner (b 2023) was found deceased today. He sustained injuries consistent with fighting with another stallion, including a broken neck. While it is devastating to lose a healthy, young horse from the herd, this is what it means to be wild and free.”

“This kind of behavior may seem brutal to us, but it is a natural part of healthy herd dynamics. This colt’s death should serve as a reminder of just how fragile life can be for these horses. They face so many natural challenges to their survival; there is no guarantee that every foal will make it to adulthood, even under the best circumstances. We can’t control nature (and we wouldn’t want to) but we can control our own actions. Please give the horses plenty of space, never feed them, and be a good steward of the environment. Donner’s life was short, but it was wild from start to finish.”

“That is something to be celebrated, even as we grieve. Rest peaceful and free, young man. We will miss you,” says a Facebook post from the Corolla Wild Horse Fund, an Outer Banks, North Carolina-based conservancy dedicated to protecting the islands’ hoofed herds from external threats.