The Los Angeles MAGA asshole who was mocked for a tweet offering to “pay any amount” for private firefighters to protect his $3 million home in the Pacific Palisades neighborhood before deleting his account has now had his house deleted too, the New York Post reports, citing a LA County Sheriff’s website with updates on the status of individual addresses in the region.

“Does anyone have access to private firefighters to protect our home in Pacific Palisades? Need to act fast here. All neighbors houses burning. Will pay any amount. Thank you,” wrote the self-described “real estate baller” Keith Wasserman last week, attracting scorn from the libs who also saw his previous anti-property tax and pro-MAGA posts on the platform, with the anti-tax thing a particular sticking point as the levies fund Los Angeles’s fire department.

California Governor Gavin Newsom pretty excellently skewered convicted felon President-Elect Trump in multiple ways during this not very long clip, pretty much hitting on all his insecurities by mocking his childishness and ignorance, saying his ego will be sated by praise if he does what he’s supposed to do to help the people that suffered, and very excellently told what may or may not be an apocryphal tale of firefighters getting emotional when speaking to President Joe Biden.

Following yet another hours-long standoff with the presidential security detail, having to use fucking ladders to climb over buses the guards had placed there to block them from entry, cops in Seoul on Wednesday finally made their way inside impeached and wanted fugitive South Korean President Yoon Suk Yeol to serve the arrest warrant on the disgraced right wing asshole, the AP reports.

No word yet on whether Yoon has been cuffed and how long it will take cops to get him out of the compound – if they can even get their hands on him. The fact that they even got inside, after having to deal with the buses, hundreds of Yoon’s dickhead fanboys, not to mention National Assembly members from Yoon’s party, is newsworthy on its own however. Yoon’s been holed up in residence for weeks following his impeachment and automatic suspension from office over his December 3rd martial law declaration that had been inspired by crazy conspiracy bullshit on YouTube.

UPDATE 1/14/2025 9:25 PM: Yoon arrested.

The US Securities and Exchange Commission on Tuesday filed a lawsuit against drug-addicted billionaire Elon Musk for failing to disclose that he had purchased a ton of shares of Twitter during the lead-up to his takeover of the platform, increasing the value of his stake, Bloomberg reports.

The inaugural hearing of the House “DOGE” Subcommittee is (allegedly) still ongoing but that choice clip above of Texas Congresswoman Jasmine Crockett mocking the MAGA dipshits for dancing to Elon Musk’s beat is just the latest in the highlight reel that has already seen Nancy Mace weakly challenge Crockett to “take this outside” after being called a “child” for her batshittery.

A Vancouver, Washington man, his sister, and his former roommate’s son filed a lawsuit against PeaceHealth Southwest Medical Center last month over a pretty twisted fuckup from 2021.

Best to go in a straight line with this, per KGW 8’s reporting: On August 8, 2021, David Wells was eating dinner in the apartment he shared with roommate Mike Beehler when he began to choke on a piece of steak. Beehler discovered Wells and dialed 911, identifying himself by name. The dispatcher must’ve entered his name as Mike Beehler because that was the name Wells had been admitted as.

At some point shortly afterward Mike’s sister Debbie Danielson, also of Vancouver, got a call from PeaceHealth. Mike had been treated there before so her name was listed as his next-of-kin in his file at the hospital. “They said he’s basically brain dead,” Debbie told KGW. “Do you want us to keep him on life support, or do you want to pull the plug?” She said yes, but did not herself show up to the hospital. She spent the next few days making funeral arrangements, posting an obituary, and was even told not to worry about formally identifying her (not actual) brother’s body at the morgue.

Then Mike called a few days later. “I said, ‘You can’t be alive. You’re dead!” said Debbie.

Now Debbie, Mike, and David’s son, Shawn Wells, are co-plaintiffs in lawsuits against the hospital and the dipshits at the ambulance company whose EMTs didn’t even ask basic questions when responding to Mike’s call about his roommate having choked on a piece of steak.

Appearing on Fox Business News anchoridiot Maria Bartiromo’s show Tuesday morning, MAGA Congressmen Scott Fitzgerald and French Hill made plain they still don’t know what the fuck they’re going to demand for holding aid to Southern California hostage, with Fitzgerald admitting House Republicans “aren’t there yet” on what to actually require and Hill saying he would be “for conditions if people can find ways to attach federal conditions to that aid.” So they still don’t have anything.

On Monday Speaker Mike Johnson said there’s “been some discussion” of tying California wildfire aid to a debt limit increase as their condition. Hard to describe how fucking stupid that makes Republicans look, that the whole time the “condition” will have had nothing whatsoever to do with local officials and their policies in California and everything to do with Dems in Congress.

House Speaker Mike Johnson has ordered all Capitol flags to fly full-pole during convicted felon President-Elect Trump inauguration, owning the libs by temporarily suspending the order for them to be lowered in honor of former President Jimmy Carter’s memory, Politico reports.

Welsh man James Howells is pretty popular in the crypto community, but in a way that people point and laugh at him, rather than actually popular. His story begins in 2009 when he mined 8,000 Bitcoins, back when it was really easy and the crypto itself was a largely worthless novelty back then, and stuck them on a hard drive. At some point in the next few years after that he carelessly tossed the drive in the garbage, only realizing his mistake in 2013 when the value of that cache hit $7.5 million, beginning his long quest to retrieve the drive from a landfill in the town of Newport.

That quest ended last week when, after literally over a decade of refusing various proposals to allow Howells to conduct a search and retrieve the drive now valued at over $600 million, the BBC reports the UK’s High Court tossed the extremely unlucky son of a bitch’s lawsuit for roughly same amount against the Newport City Council. “This ruling has taken everything from me and left me with nothing. It’s the great British injustice system striking again,” Howells told the BBC.

“The case being struck out at the earliest hearing doesn’t even give me the opportunity to explain myself or an opportunity for justice in any shape or form. There was so much more that could have been explained in a full trial and that’s what I was expecting,” he said, adding he had “been trying to engage with Newport City Council in every way which is humanly possible for the past 12 years,” offering them up to a quarter of the haul should they be able to find the drive. To Howells, being told he was out of time felt like “a kick in the teeth. It’s not about greed, I’m happy to share the proceeds but nobody in a position of power will have a decent conversation with me.”

Probably not any solace, but it’s likely that even if Howells was able to find the drive it’s likely to be far too damaged and corroded to retrieve the Bitcoin data from its storage.

Tuesday is complete fucking scumbag former Fox News host Pete Hegseth’s hearing to determine whether or not he’s got what it takes to get Republican Senators to humiliate themselves once again and vote to confirm a credibly accused rapist and white nationalist binge drinker who was too incompetent to manage a Koch astroturf shop to lead the most powerful fighting force in history.

Committee chairman Roger Wicker tells CBS’s Scott MacFarlane that “despite Democratic requests for multiple rounds of questioning of Pete Hegseth at today’s confirmation hearing, he’ll permit only one round of questioning,” which is a sure sign of confidence in Petey’s character, as is other reporting indicating that Team Orange are confident Hegseth will survive if there are no new details.

“RELEASE THE WATER, NEWSOM. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? DJT” posted convicted felon President-Elect Trump on Tuesday morning, this time failing to specify exactly where this fucking idiot thinks “THE WATER” needed to fight the still-raging fires is supposed to come from.

Meanwhile the Los Angeles Times reports that Tuesday is going to again be a very bad day for wind conditions in the area, with National Weather Service meteorologist Rose Schoenfeld saying their warning is “one of the loudest ways that we can shout,” that the area still faces “a continued extreme fire weather and wind scenario,” bringing wind gusts ranging from 45 mph to 70 mph.

“The National Weather Service is predicting close to hurricane-force-level winds and so we’re making urgent preparations,” Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass said. “My top priority and the top priority of everyone else is to do everything we can to protect lives.”

“It is true that I don’t have a similar biography to Defense Secretaries of the last 30 years. But, as President Trump also told me, we’ve repeatedly placed people atop the Pentagon with supposedly ‘the right credentials’ – whether they are retired generals, academics, or defense contractor executives – and where has it gotten us? He believes, and I humbly agree, that it’s time to give someone with dust on his boots the helm. A change agent. Someone with no vested interest in certain companies or specific programs or approved narratives,” says binge drinking white nationalist former Fox News host Pete Hegseth in his opening statement ahead of his Tuesday confirmation hearing before the Senate Armed Services Committee.

Former Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith, in the wee hours of Tuesday morning, made public the first half of his final report on convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s crimes.

The Chinese Communist party’s overlords are considering selling their precious social media app TikTok to ketamine-brained billionaire Elon Musk if the US forces them to offload it, figuring he would be a trustworthy propaganda partner and better than shutting it down, Bloomberg reports.

Starbucks on Monday announced they will be ending their “demented vagrants and all sorts of other non-customers are welcome to lounge in our stores all day” and instituting a “buy something or get the fuck out” policy as part of an effort to revive sagging sales and the old “community coffeehouse” feel of the chain from before everything went to shit in 2020, the Associated Press reports.

“We want everyone to feel welcome and comfortable in our stores,” Starbucks spokeswoman Jaci Anderson said in corporate speak for the “get the fuck out you smelly freaks ordering ice water to go with your goddamned cold Chinese food in a plastic container” policy. “By setting clear expectations for behavior and use of our spaces, we create a better environment for everyone.”

Florida’s Department of Motor Vehicles for some reason have published a list of every vanity plate submission that they manually reviewed and then rejected in 2024 and it’s full of ribald highlights such as “LV M1LFS,” “IAM DUI,” “FKY0U,” “6 NICE9,” “GR8 ASS,” “LUVDK,” “XXL WANG,” MAGA-themed lowlights like “4KLAN,” “ARYAN14,” “DP0RTM,” “FKTFEDS,” and also no fewer than 15 different variations of the “Hawk Tuah” meme, Local10 reports, warning of their “explicit” nature.

Misdemeanant MAGA insurrectionist Pamela Hemphill, who did a brief stint in the clink for entering the Capitol during the January 2021 riot, said she will refuse to accept any pardon that may not actually be forthcoming from convicted felon President-Elect Trump, the Independent reports.

“Congress hereby authorizes the President, beginning at 12:01 pm Eastern Standard Time on January 20, 2025, to seek to enter into negotiations with the Kingdom of Denmark to secure the acquisition of Greenland by the United States. Transmission of Agreement: Not later than 85 calendar days after reaching an agreement with the Kingdom of Denmark relating to the acquisition of Greenland by the United States, the President shall transmit to the appropriate congressional committees the agreement, including all related materials and annexes,” says the text of dipshit Tennessee MAGA Congressman Andy Ogles’s “Make Greenland Geat Again” bill, introed on Monday.

It does absolutely nothing in terms of creating a legal structure for Greenlanders to become US citizens upon annexation, setting aside money for a purchase, building new infrastructure or updating existing components to comply with US standards, or incentivizing Greenlanders economically to support integration. It just authorizes the Orange Conquistador to enter into negotiations to acquire Greenland, something he does not actually need authorization to do. He can say pretty much whatever he wants while conducting his administration’s foreign policy.