“Effective immediately, in preparation for an expansion of required social media screening and vetting, consular sections should not add any additional student or exchange visitor (F, M and J) visa appointment capacity until further guidance is issued,” wrote Suckretary of State Marco Rubio in a cable issued to all embassies worldwide on Tuesday, fucking shit up for students, per Bloomberg.

Guys, guys! Oh man. The upcoming HBO Harry Potter TV reboot series’s Hermoine Granger actress is brown. Holy shit. You can read the article about it on IGN. Wow. Holy hell the MAGA kids are going to freak the fuck out because this wasn’t supposed to happen anymore. Like America voted against this, for real. Oh no, they’re going to send a little girl death threats for not getting the message about that, aren’t they? This is really insulting to right wing fans of family-friendly wizard fantasy worlds.

“What Vladimir Putin doesn’t realize is that if it weren’t for me, lots of really bad things would have already happened to Russia, and I mean REALLY BAD. He’s playing with fire!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday, obviously REALLY upset his dom isn’t responding to his pleas.

Former nursing home exec Paul Walczak is off the hook for 18 months in federal prison and $4.4 million he was hit with after pleading guilty to embezzling money earmarked for employees to fund a lavish lifestyle, just days before he was due to report to the clink last month. His secret? Getting his mom to write a $1 million check to convicted felon President Trump’s political operation at a Mar-a-Lago fundraising dinner last month, according to the New York Times, who write that Walczak’s pardon application, submitted January 20th, was much heavier on his family’s connections to Trump than it was anything about his actual case. He also mentioned how his mom, Elizabeth Fago, had helped fund the ultimately failed effort to publicize Ashley Biden’s stolen diary in late 2020.

Walczak waited anxiously for months but heard nothing as his April reporting deadline approached. The Times writes that Fago was then invited to the early April Mar-a-Lago shindig where she handed the Orange God Emperor the check. It’s not clear from the reporting whether – the Times may not actually know what if any causal connection there was – the invite was issued by Team Trump with the full knowledge that Fago’s dipshit son was begging for a pardon, but it’s hard to look at the sequence and see it as certainly at least more likely than not, that the was indeed the intent.

But let’s hear more about how corrupt it was for Joe Biden to pardon Anthony Fauci and Liz Cheney.

Hmmmm… This shouldn’t be a thing right? Kind of like how Secretary Dog Murderer shilled for that teeth whitening clinic in Texas while she was Governor of South Dakota it’s prooooooobably not strictly legal for her, now as a sitting member of the cabinet of the president of the United States, to be speaking at cock-grabber Matt Schlapp’s CPAC event in goddamned Poland. Isn’t it?

A new COVID variant without an easy-enough-to-remember Greek letter assigned to it is spreading in the United States, CBS News reports on the same day Bobby Brainworms proudly announced that the CDC would stop recommending booster shots for the virus for pregnant women and young kids.

Convicted felon President Trump’s top minions have “lost confidence in an investigation that Pete Hegseth used to justify firing three top aides last month, after advisers were told that the aides had supposedly been outed by an illegal warrantless National Security Agency (NSA) wiretap,” writes the Guardian’s Hugo Lowell in a new report detailing some pretty messed up shit going on within the top echelons of the reich as Jaydee and others are unsure whether or the wiretap actually happened.

Best try to go in a straight line here: Republican lawyer Tim Parlatore had been a regular on Trump’s legal squad until May 2023, he quit just three weeks before the fat bastard was indicted for stealing classified documents from the White House. It might’ve had something to do with the fact that Parlatore was a witness and had testified to a grand jury the previous December. He then reemerged late last year as white nationalist alcoholic Pete Hegseth’s personal attorney when the former Fox News host was facing some difficulties getting confirmed. He’s still on retainer with Hegseth and talks to the White House regularly. Asked to explain why Petey Pee Pants fired his senior adviser, Dan Caldwell, former deputy chief of staff Darin Selnick, and the deputy defense secretary’s chief of staff Colin Carroll after an investigation into who leaked to NBC News in March that they were wargaming on plans to launch an attack on Panama and retake the canal.

BREAKING: Supreme Court declines to review free speech case involving student who wore 'only two genders' shirt pic.twitter.com/af6TON1tOZ

— Fox News (@FoxNews) May 27, 2025

“California, under the leadership of Radical Left Democrat Gavin Newscum, continues to ILLEGALLY allow ‘MEN TO PLAY IN WOMEN’S SPORTS.’ This week a transitioned Male athlete, at a major event, won ‘everything,’ and is now qualified to compete in the ‘State Finals’ next weekend. As a Male, he was a less than average competitor. As a Female, this transitioned person is practically unbeatable.”

“THIS IS NOT FAIR, AND TOTALLY DEMEANING TO WOMEN AND GIRLS. Please be hereby advised that large scale Federal Funding will be held back, maybe permanently, if the Executive Order on this subject matter is not adhered to. The Governor, himself, said it is ‘UNFAIR.’ I will speak to him today to find out which way he wants to go??? In the meantime I am ordering local authorities, if necessary, to not allow the transitioned person to compete in the State Finals. This is a totally ridiculous situation!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday, not even bothering to name the which sport’s “major event” it was or the level the alleged trans athlete was competing in.

The fat campy drag queen-ish president also confused executive orders with laws, since defying an executive order is by definition not “ILLEGAL.” If it was, he could just send the FBI, rather than “ordering local authorities” to show up an incite a riot at some high school girls’ lacrosse game or whatever the fuck it was he saw in some QAnon fan’s video in his Truth Social feed.

“For those asking… Even though I initially considered the prospect of petitioning the president with a pardon application I have seized [sic] that approach as I will not spend the last 61 days I have of life scrambling on how to get past a bunch of guard dogs. The so called ‘friends’ I have that said they’d help legit should have just told me to go fuck myself, because that’s what has essentially happened with their actions. I’ve accepted my fate and don’t want to talk about it anymore,” tweeted George Santos on Monday in what was apparently his valedictory post on Ketamine Brain’s social media platform, according to the Latin Times. His account’s definitely been deleted and likely of his own volition as it says “This account doesn’t exist,” rather than “This account has been suspended.”

The notorious fabulist Republican/expelled former Long Island Congressman had last week informed National Zero that he hadn’t heard back from the White House on his quest to escape a seven-plus year bid for which he must report to federal prison officials by July 25th, but apparently he never bothered to fill out the paperwork. Convicted felon President Trump on Monday pardoned some corrupt former Virginia sheriff who sold $75,000 worth of deputy badges to wannabe cops.

“Plaintiff National Public Radio, Inc (NPR) and Plaintiffs Roaring Fork PublicRadio, Inc d/b/a Aspen Public Radio (Aspen Public Radio), Colorado Public Radio (CPR), andKUTE, Inc d/b/a KSUT Public Radio (KSUT) (together, the Local Member Stations) bring this action to challenge an Executive Order that violates the expressed will of Congress and the FirstAmendment’s bedrock guarantees of freedom of speech, freedom of the press, and freedom of association, and also threatens the existence of a public radio system that millions of Americans across the country rely on for vital news and information,” says the intro to a lawsuit filed Monday against the Orange God Emperor.

Even if the quote in the headline said “snake” or “German Shepherd” instead of “alligator” and “cocaine” instead of “meth,” you still probably would’ve guessed it was Florida. Per WFLA, those were the exact words of Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd at a press conference following the fatal shooting of 42 year-old local meth user Tim Schulz. “The fact that he was bitten by an alligator significantly and still continued his rampage is shocking but if you’re on enough meth, the person you see is not the person that’s attacking,” said Judd, explaining the events leading up to his deputies blasting Schulz as he ran at them with a pair of gardening shears. “Our deputies tried to deescalate. We also tried to tase him on two different occasions and he continued charging them.”

Schulz’s fatal misadventure was set in motion at around 6 AM Monday when a convenience store clerk in Lakeland called the sheriff’s department to report that Schulz had been behaving erratically in the shop but he had left the premises before they arrived. About 40 minutes later several nearby residents called to report seeing a man swimming through a lake known to be infested with alligators. “A witness tried to throw him a life preserver and another witness reported Schulz growling at them when they tried to help,” WFLA writes with typical MSM understatement.

Complete sack-licker David Sacks, who serves as the Orange God Emperor’s crypto and AI expert, over the weekend told three other white guys who host a regular circlejerk podcast called “All In,” that the GOP’s “Big Beautiful Bill” will cut $880 billion in Medicaid benefits disbursed over the next decade, which is something that he wasn’t actually supposed to say. He still seems cool with it however, since the whole point is to transfer wealth upward from Republican voters and the rural hospitals they rely on so Sacks and these other twats can get a tax cut and buy more Cybertrucks.

A renowned Harvard Business School behavioral scientist was stripped of tenure last week after a board investigation determined she had manipulated data in numerous, widely-cited studies and papers she had published on the topics of, per the New York Post, “cheating, lying, and dishonesty.”

Yeah. It’s not clear if Francesca Gino’s body of work is itself some sort of larger meta-scheme in which she’s teaching a grander lesson on the value of honesty or something. She doesn’t seem to think so as in 2024, after being placed on leave, she filed a $25 million lawsuit against Harvard, Harvard Business School Dean Srikant Datar, and a group of bloggers who had exposed her fraud.

A Boston federal judge tossed the case last September. Gino’s firing comes at maybe not the best time for Harvard’s public image given certain other external threats to its operational capacity.

An Australian guy is sooooo fucked after cops in Bali, Indonesia raided his rental house and found 3.7 lbs of cocaine last week, something that’s bad enough to be caught with anywhere but often a capital offense in the vast Southeast Asian archipelago, the Associated Press reports.

Cairns, Queensland native Lamar Aaron Ahchee, 43, “is suspected of importing or distributing class 1 narcotics,” Bali Police Chief Daniel Adityajaya told a news conference in the provincial capital, Denpasar. “He is threatened with the death penalty or life imprisonment.” Ahchee was paraded out for media wearing an orange jumpsuit during the press conference. He did not speak to reporters.

In the likely event he’s convicted and sentenced to the firing squad, Ahchee would join 96 other foreigners, most of them also convicted of drug offenses, on Indonesia’s death row. Fellow Aussies Andrew Chan and Myuran Sukumaran were executed in 2015 for smuggling heroin.

In related but far less grim news also out of Bali, a 32 year-old British man who apparently was conned into accepting a package full of ecstasy was sentenced to six months. Still kind of shitty.

There are probably very few if any American survivors left from the Battle of the Hurtgen Forest, fought between the US Army and the Wehrmacht along the frontier between Belgium and Germany in the fall of 1944. It doesn’t get nearly as much attention as Pearl Harbor, Midway, D-Day, the Battle of the Bulge, and other major engagements during the Second World War. The 1998 HBO film above, When Trumpets Fade, may be the only depiction of it in cinema. And man is it every bit as dark and depressing as the real story of the battle. The brutality is a little muted relative to Saving Private Ryan and Band of Brothers (probably due to budget limitations) but where those were ultimately optimistic and purposeful, this one’s just about mere survival. It’s not to say that other World War II depictions are dishonest, this one’s just a little extra honest about what it was like during the hellish grind. That it might’ve been a just cause overall, but Hurtgen most certainly was not.

It was a fucking nightmare of a battle. The dregs of the German army – guys literally pulled out of translator school – using anti-aircraft guns pointed at American troops, using the terrain to defend themselves like they were the Spartans at Thermopylae. And US Army commanders just kept throwing wave after wave after wave against the Germans. Tens of thousands of casualties suffered with no significant gain. It was only the surprise attack of the Battle of the Bulge that ended it by causing the Americans to disengage and respond to the assault to the north in the Ardennes.

“Or, as an alternative, you could try not sleeping with people who aren’t your spouse” – The top comment on a Sunday afternoon Fox News article headlined “What is ketamine therapy? Mormon reality stars tout controversial treatment – Doctors speak about alternative therapy in ‘The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives,'” filed under “Health” and written by a “lifestyle production assistant.”

The post’s like a relic of a bygone era of 15 or 20 years ago, where there’d be some article on CNN or Yahoo News about a celebrity or a reality TV show star partying too hard and/or acting sexually profligate, under which inevitably there’d be at least one right wing user chiming in about how Lindsey Lohan or Paris Hilton were harbingers of a wider cultural degeneracy. Sure it was hollow and cast the first stone-y even back then given the publicly-revealed indiscretions of elected Republican politicians like Newt Gingrich, Mark Foley, and Larry Craig as well as Evangelical figures such as Ted Haggard and Jimmy Swaggart, not to mention media propagandists like Bill O’Reilly. And then Rush Limbaugh with the Oxycontin. Apparently he took so much of that shit he almost went deaf.

But back then drug use was still associated with the left – the legalization movement sure as hell didn’t start in Arkansas – as was sexual profligacy – Bill Clinton’s history of it sure as hell did start in Arkansas. For all the growing number of stains on what was presented as a gleaming white tower of conservative Christian moral superiority, Republican voters in that era could at least, and factually so, say that they’d never been led by a president who’d been publicly exposed as a philandering sex pest at best, an outright predator at worst. Your median Fox News viewer could still feel like they were on Team Morality, and wayward souls like hooker-loving Louisiana Senator David Vitter as outliers who failed to uphold the deal while drugs were for leftist San Francisco potheads.

Former IDF soldier Liri Albag, who was freed in a prisoner exchange with Hamas in January after having been abducted during the October 7th, 2023 attack on southern Israel and being held in Gaza for 15 months, was again – albeit briefly – in the custody of the forces of a terroristic regime last week after landing at New York’s John F Kennedy International Airport, Ynet News reports.

The 20 year-old’s dad told Ynet that Border Patrol agents had at first thought Albag, who was traveling with friends on a vacation, was being somehow impersonated. “There was questioning, but everything is fine. Their system still showed her as a hostage – they hadn’t updated the records. It’s just a vacation. Liri wasn’t stressed. It was unpleasant, but it passed,” said Eli Albag. Citing their sources, Ynet writes that “Israeli officials acted quickly behind the scenes to address what they viewed as a potentially sensitive diplomatic incident and prevent further distress for Albag.”

Good for her. Having spent approximately 6.5 percent of her entire life so far as a prisoner of murderous terrorists it’s nice that her government stepped in to help when she was stuck for an hour with US Border Patrol. It’s the least they could do after taking their time getting her released from Hamas captivity in Gaza. However the incident says less about Netanyahu’s Regime and more about Trump’s. It’s not that Albag would probably be in some ICE gulag at this point if Israeli diplomats hadn’t picked up the phone and gotten her out, or that Trump regime officials probably wouldn’t have answered if she was from a very long list of other countries that’s the most ridiculous part.

Whatever occurred had to have been fixed pretty briefly and just long enough for Twitter user @badfoxgraphics to have picked it up, as convicted felon President Trump’s feed now displays all of his latest “Truths” as intended, such as “I am considering taking Three Billion Dollars of Grant Money away from a very antisemitic Harvard, and giving it to TRADE SCHOOLS all across our land. What a great investment that would be for the USA, and so badly needed!!!” which could indicate the fat bastard golfed with the DeVry Institute or ITT Technical College’s CEO over the weekend.

He then confidently guaranteed victory over Harvard with “We are still waiting for the Foreign Student Lists from Harvard so that we can determine, after a ridiculous expenditure of BILLIONS OF DOLLARS, how many radicalized lunatics, troublemakers all, should not be let back into our Country. Harvard is very slow in the presentation of these documents, and probably for good reason! The best thing Harvard has going for it is that they have shopped around and found the absolute best Judge (for them!) – But have no fear, the Government will, in the end, WIN!” Have no fear, lol.

Obviously feeling more than a little stung by the MAGA base’s reaction to his somber admission that all evidence suggests Jeffrey Epstein really did kill himself in 2019, conspiracy podcaster-turned-FBI Assistant Director Dan Bongino on Monday announced that the bureau would be opening new investigations into the 2022 leak of the Dobbs Supreme Court ruling that overturned Roe V Wade and the time in 2023 when some dumbass left a small bag of cocaine in a coat check in the Biden White House, Reuters reports on Bongino’s panicked efforts to quell the outrage from his own team.

“Shortly after swearing in, the Director and I evaluated a number of cases of potential public corruption that, understandably, have garnered public interest. We made the decision to either re-open, or push additional resources and investigative attention, to these cases. These cases are the DC pipe bombing investigation, the cocaine discovery at the prior administration’s White House, and the leak of the Supreme Court Dobbs case. I receive requested briefings on these cases weekly and we are making progress. If you have any investigative tips on these matters that may assist us then please contact the FBI,” Bongino wrote in the middle of a lengthy tweet, adding “In response to feedback, both positive and negative, from our interview last week we will be releasing more information which will further clarify answers to some of the questions asked in the interview,” lol.