Despite convicted felon President Trump’s bullshit insistence that he augured “peace” between India and Pakistan after their skirmishes earlier this month there is still very much all but a state of war on the subcontinent, as Indian dictator Narendra Modi on Thursday told fans he is not at all backing down from plans to cut off as much as 80 percent of Pakistan’s water supply, Reuters reports.

“Pakistan will have to pay a heavy price for every terrorist attack … Pakistan’s army will pay it, Pakistan’s economy will pay it,” said Modi at a public event in the state of Rajasthan, which sits on the border between the two. Reuters’ article did not get into direct quotes specific to the water situation, but if there’s anything that’s going to lead to an all-out war between the two, this is it. India cannot simply starve Pakistan and expect them to simply take it on the chin.

Two employees of the Israeli embassy were the victims of a gun attack late Wednesday outside the Capital Jewish Museum where a function was being held for young professionals in the diplomatic sphere, Jewish Insider reports, citing the event sponsor, the American Jewish Committee.

“American Jewish Committee (AJC) can confirm that we hosted an event at the Capital Jewish Museum in Washington, D.C. this evening,” AJC CEO Ted Deutch said in a statement. “We are devastated that an unspeakable act of violence took place outside the venue. At this moment, as we await more information from the police about exactly what transpired, our attention and our hearts are solely with those who were harmed and their families.”

In a reversal, drug-addicted billionaire Elon Musk’s car company will begin allowing owners of its iconically hideous electric shitbox SUV, the Cybertruck, to trade in their vehicles toward a different model Tesla after less than the original policy of a minimum one year, Business Insider reports.

And yeah, the depreciation rate is bad. Real bad. One owner of an all-wheel-drive owner told Insider he spent about $100,000 on the Cyberhunk of shit about a year ago. After putting 19,623 miles on the odometer, his trade-in estimate came in at $63,100, a roughly 37 percent depreciation. Worse still, another owner who put 8,604 miles on his $127,000 Cyberchump got a $78,200, an almost identical depreciation rate at about 38 percent despite the over 10,000 miles driven difference.

You know how sometimes you see those pics of kids in Africa wearing t-shirts saying shit like “San Francisco 49ers Super Bowl LVIII Champs”? Like maybe you’ll start seeing pics of police departments in like East Timor or Bolivia or Lesotho driving around in Cybertrucks. Or just pics of Cybertrucks with police livery painted on rusting in their department parking lots. Who knows.

Commerce Secretary Howard Nutlick Lutnick on Wednesday told the crowd at some Axios circlejerk “Building the Future” event that the website selling convicted felon President Trump’s moronic $5 million express “Gold Card” citizenships will be up this week. Lutnick was short on details but long on complete bullshit like the anticipated demand for them and how selling 1 million of them would pay off the national debt. “Everyone I meet who’s not an American is going to want to buy the card if they have the fiscal capacity,” Nutlick said, sounding every bit the glorified penny stock hustler he is.

“This is for people who can help America pay off its debt. Why wouldn’t you want a Plan B that says. God forbid something bad happens, you come to the airport in America and the person in immigration says, ‘Welcome home,'” Nutlick added and holy shit this guy’s such a freaking douche.

Sources in and around the Texas GOP and Senate Republican caucus tell NOTUS that Senator John Cornhole Cornyn and his allies are at the point where, a little over nine months to go from a primary election against Picasso-faced Attorney General Ken Paxton, really all they can do is hope convicted felon President Trump intervenes on his behalf and holy shit he is so fucked if he thinks Donald will endorse him over Paxton in the heated contest – which sources already say isn’t happening.

Some are hoping that a situation similar-ish to what happened in Georgia shakes out, where Trump was told on no uncertain terms that Marjorie Taylor Greene was going lose by double-digits to Dem Senator Jon Ossoff and thus led the ultimately successful effort, even commissioning internal polling, to talk her out of it. Texas MAGA Congressman Keith Self said fat Donald will “probably have to get involved, because we do not want to lose a safe Republican seat in the Senate,” as the last poll that went public showed 2024 Senate loser Collin Allred up by 1 percent in a general vs Pax.

Thing is that unlike Greene, Paxton’s already launched his campaign and it might be a safe bet that Trump privately greenlit it in a private conversation. And Allred’s edge is a margin of error, not freaking 12 percent or however much that Atlanta Journal-Constitution poll showed Ossoff ahead of Sporkfoot in Georgia. Also, Paxton might have some kind of kompromat on Trump (maybe).

The most magical company on Earth on Tuesday informed all 45 of their Venezuelan refugees employees on temporary protected status that they’re on a 30-day unpaid leave and will in all likelihood be fired if the Trump Regime is allowed to fully go through with revoking their status following Monday’s Supreme Court decision allowing it to move forward for now, Bloomberg reports.

Reporters had looked into it when a Venezuelan man told them he tried to clock in Tuesday morning at a Disney resort in Florida and was told to go home, getting confirmation form the company.

“As we sort out the complexities of this situation, we have placed affected employees on leave with benefits to ensure they are not in violation of the law,” Disney said in an email to Bloomberg. “We are committed to protecting the health, safety, and well-being of all our employees and their families, and our HR and legal teams assist employees who may be navigating changing immigration policies and how they could impact them or their families,” the company continued because God forbid they would announce their legal teams are going to be working around the clock to bang out work visa applications to help their people stay. At least fucking pay them for the next 30 days, you twats.

“Law enforcement officials in California and Florida today arrested 13 alleged members and associates of Armenian organized crime syndicates who are charged in five federal complaints with a series of crimes – including attempted murder, kidnapping, tens of millions of dollars’ worth of thefts of online retailer shipments, and illegal firearm possession – to expand and maintain their control in the San Fernando Valley. Among the defendants charged are Ara Artuni, 41, of Porter Ranch, who is charged with attempted murder in aid of racketeering, and a rival, Robert Amiryan, 46, of Hollywood, who is charged with kidnapping. The defendants arrested today in California are expected to make their initial appearances this afternoon and tomorrow afternoon in United States District Court in downtown Los Angeles. Vahan Harutyunyan, 50, of Hollywood, Florida, made his initial appearance earlier today in Fort Lauderdale, Florida and was ordered detained.”

“Two of the remaining defendants, Levon Arakelyan, 45, of Las Vegas, and Ivan Bojorquez, 33, of Gardena, are presently detained in state custody on unrelated matters. Law enforcement is still seeking one defendant and seized approximately $100,000 in cash, three armored vehicles, and 14 firearms during today’s operation,” says a Central District of California USAO press release.

.@POTUS NUKES NBC's @PeterAlexander for asking about a jet donated to our military when confronted about evidence of persecution in South Africa:

"What are you talking about?… that's NBC trying to get off the subject… You don't have what it takes to be a reporter." pic.twitter.com/QPesmQ2BHs

— Rapid Response 47 (@RapidResponse47) May 21, 2025

“Spike the Bearded Dragon saved the day today when he woke his owner up from a nap to find the home’s bathroom on fire! Spike’s owner, Donald, was napping on the couch when Spike leaped onto his face, insisting he wake up. Donald was then able to quickly extinguish the fire before it spread to the rest of the home. Who knows how far it would have spread without Spike’s help, as Donald was so tired that he even slept through the sound of the smoke alarms!” says a Facebook post by the South King Fire Department, whose district covers wide swaths of the southern Seattle metro area.

Did some research on reptile intelligence and have concluded that in all likelihood that this was actually Spike reacting to the fire by seeking his owner out and jumping on his face when stressed by the smell of the smoke. Not the same as a dog or cat acting with intent like “DONALD! DONALD WAKE! DONALD! SOMETHING WRONG! SMELL BAD! STRONG! HOT HOT! IS GLOWING! UNFUCK NOW! DO HUMAN SOMETHING TO MAKE STOP! WAKE NOW!” but a response to the same effect.

Spike could’ve just said “fuck this” and crawled into the basement or whatever but he chose to seek safety and comfort with his owner when stressed by an unfamiliar stimulus in his environment.

The Dow Jones Industrial Average dropped 789 points as of 2:55 PM EDT on Wednesday, which CNBC reports is due to “30-year Treasury bond yield last traded around 5.08 percent, the highest level going back to October 2023. The benchmark 10-year Treasury note yield traded at 4.59.”

Which is due to, you guessed it, the amount of debt the “Big Beautiful Bill” is going to add to the US deficit, pushing interest payments up to like reverse mortgage on Fox News ads levels.

SCOOP:

In the House of Representatives, the 3 Cuban Republican reps Rep. Carlos Giménez (R-FL) @RepCarlos, Rep. Mario Díaz-Balart (R-FL) @MarioDB, Rep. María Elvira Salazar (R-FL) @MaElviraSalazar, all of whom represent districts in South Florida full of Venezuelan illegal… https://t.co/0YSZNMn0y7

— Laura Loomer (@LauraLoomer) May 21, 2025

A Boston federal judge on Wednesday found that the Trump Regime “unquestionably” violated a lawful court order when it abruptly deported seven men to fucking South Sudan on Tuesday and suggested the officials who had knowingly defied it are liable for criminal contempt, Politico reports.

“It was impossible for these people to have a meaningful opportunity to object to their transfer to South Sudan,” said Boston US District Judge Brian Murphy during a hearing.

Cops in Durango, Colorado on Monday were, for the second time in under a year, forced to chase, tackle, and detain a kangaroo that had escaped from its owner’s home in the town, drive him back, and tell the owner to keep his fucking exotic marsupial penned up securely, KOAA reports.

This week’s escape of Irwin the kangaroo at least occurred during the early evening hours, unlike the first one in October 2024 when officers had to chase the son of a bitch down at freaking 4 AM.

Ignoring literally everyone who isn’t them to not fucking do this, the Trump Regime on Wednesday formally accepted Qatar Force One as a “gift,” the New York Times reports, citing the Pentagon.

“The secretary of defense has accepted a Boeing 747 from Qatar in accordance with all federal rules and regulations,” said wife beater/sado-sexual freak Pentagon spokesman Sean Parnell. “The Department of Defense will work to ensure proper security measures and functional-mission requirements are considered for an aircraft used to transport the president of the United States.”

Love how the White House bills this as a “bilateral meeting” in the YouTube description. It’s trilateral, with convicted felon US President Trump, South African President Cyril Ramphosa, and the sovereign state of unaccountable drug-addled billionaire cunt Elon Musk represented here in the sit-down. Now it absolutely could go fine and Ramaphosa will just let all their shit about a fake white genocide being condoned or even perpetrated by Ramaphosa’s government slide or that Musk will play nice because his native country is considering opening up its market to Starlink, but it’s probably more likely than not to get a little heated… Wait, is Musk even in the room?

Obviously enraged over their failure to obey his commands, convicted felon President Trump on Wednesday summoned the Freedom Caucasians to his White House for some discipline as the House is unable to schedule a vote on his Big Beautiful Bill due to some holdouts within the far right white nationalist contingent hell-bent on reducing government spending and deficits, Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman reports, adding that Jesus Dork Speaker Mike Johnson, House Majority leader Steve Scalise, and whip Tom Emmer will be present at the 3 PM meeting to pretend like they’re in charge.

The fat fuck cannot be happy that his shitposting/TV watching time will be cut into by the actual work of pretending to govern, especially when he’s going to be spending a good chunk of the day with Elon Musk publicly abusing South African President Cyril Ramaphosa in front of cameras.

An FBI “External Collection Priorities Message” produced by the bureau’s Seattle field office dated September 4, 2019 and obtained this week after an FOIA request from UFO-centric government secrets investigative reporter John Greenwald’s Black Vault reveals that, after heavy redactions likely detailing efforts to surveil potentially violent extremist incels, federal law enforcement agents deemed it necessary to include “Cock Carousel” in a glossary of the indescribably toxic online community of sexless males’ common shibboleths, and defining it as “Belief by Incels on what females do before they settle down.” Greenwald sort of buried that lede by headlining his story with a prosaic “FBI Monitored ‘Incel’ Ideology Nationwide, FOIA Documents Reveal Threat Assessments and Surveillance Priorities,” though it’s otherwise quite excellent and deeply reported piece of work.

“A subset of individuals who subscribe to Involuntary Celibate (Incel) ideology, Involuntary Celibate Violent Extremists (IVEs), have been responsible for at least 27 fatalities in the United States and in Canada since 2014. Violent idolization of past acts of violence, embedded within Incel ideology, may encourage future acts of violence. Unidentified Incel adherents are likely present within Washington State and may remain anonymous presenting Law Enforcement challenges in the identification of potential Incel-related threats. Law enforcement may not recognize Incel ideology during encounters due to a lack of familiarity of Incel terminology and the potential threat posed by IVEs,” says the intro to what little else isn’t redacted in the file on what’s still clearly an ongoing terroristic threat.

White House economic wiener Ken Hassett on Wednesday told Fox Business’s Stuart Varney that everything will be fine despite the massive deficit increases about to be self-inflicted by the “Big Beautiful Bill” and the US is looking at 4 percent economic growth, so it’s cool, Stu. In the latter third of the clip, when asked about how the whole trade war thing was going and why his fat idiot boss hasn’t gotten one, let alone “90 deals in 90 days” as they sold it, Hassett told Varney “Well there’s a lot going on in the world, as you know,” while Hassett no doubt in his mind thought “PEOPLE LIKE YOU HAVE FUCKED WITH ME MY ENTIRE LIFE AND NOW I WORK IN THE ACTUAL FUCKING WHITE HOUSE, YOU BRITISH PIECE OF SHIT! YOU WILL RESPECT ME OR I WILL MARCH INTO YOUR FUCKING STUDIO WITH A 12 GAUGE AND BLAST YOU NOT IN THE FACE BUT YOUR CROTCH SO I CAN WATCH YOU WRITHE IN AGONY AS YOU BLEED TO DEATH! I ALMOST DID IT TO A KID ON THE FOOTBALL TEAM IN HIGH SCHOOL AND I FUCKING SWEAR I WILL DO IT TO YOU! FUCK YOU!”