Former Florida Republican Congressman David Jolly, who served in the state’s 13th Congressional District from 2014 to 2017, left the GOP in 2018, and has since registered as a Dem, on Thursday launched a gubernatorial bid to (likely) face asshole felon Byron Donalds, Huffington Post reports.

An entire book could be written about this tweet and the article it does not actually link to, but going to try to keep it under two-ish, maybe three thousand words. The story in question was printed at Fox Business News on Sunday night, headlined “Trump Burger chain grows popular in Texas, controversial with critics” to which main Fox News amped up the defiance with the “despite,” lol.

FAST FEUD: An emerging restaurant chain in the Lone Star State is making waves — specifically, red ones — with a menu and décor inspired by none other than @realDonaldTrump. pic.twitter.com/plwYaNAjbk

— Fox News (@FoxNews) June 2, 2025

There’s another, bigger, continuity/unit cohesion effort issue in the text of the article itself, as Fox Business News content factory line worker Alexander Hall writes in the lede “A new burger chain themed around President Donald Trump is growing in Texas, and those who don’t vocally support him find it to be in poor taste. A Lebanese immigrant named Roland Beainy reportedly opened the restaurant chain, ‘Trump Burger,’ featuring burgers branded with the president’s name, American flags, and joke items themed around his Democratic rivals,” emphasis added on the owner’s identity being contingent and unverified pending confirmation. It’s as though Hall would have picked up the phone to ask who the owner is or, if it was after hours, conducted a search of Texas business records to nail it down but was up against a deadline to get the piece up at 10 PM EDT on a Sunday.

Or Hall could’ve just searched FoxBusiness.com, the website he works for, and found the January 30th, 2025 article “Trump Burger chain expanding in Texas, owner praises president as ‘gentleman that makes peace'” in which Hall’s colleague Louis Casiano fucking interviewed Beany.

“I have determined that it is necessary to restrict the entry of foreign nationals who seek to enter the United States solely or principally to participate in a course of study at Harvard University or in an exchange visitor program hosted by Harvard University. Such restrictions are authorized under sections 212(f) and 215(a) of the Immigration and Nationality Act (INA), 8 USC 1182(f) and 1185(a), which authorize the President to suspend entry of any class of aliens whose entry would be detrimental to the interests of the United States. I have determined that the entry of the class of foreign nationals described above is detrimental to the interests of the United States because, in my judgment, Harvard’s conduct has rendered it an unsuitable destination for foreign students and researchers. Until such time as the university shares the information that the Federal Government requires to safeguard national security and the American public, it is in the national interest to deny foreign nationals access to Harvard under the auspices of educational exchange,” says a White House announcement really sticking it to the most prestigious university on the planet.

Convicted felon President Trump on Wednesday imposed the same travel ban he did in 2017, blocking citizens of Afghanistan, Chad, Republic of the Congo, Equatorial Guinea, Eritrea, Haiti, Iran, Libya, Myanmar, Somalia, Sudan, and Yemen from entering and partially restricts those from Burundi, Cuba, Laos, Sierra Leone, Togo, Turkmenistan, and Venezuela, CBS News’s Jennifer Jacobs reports.

Convicted felon President Trump may or may not end up talking to reporters at this “soiree” whatever the hell it is, but running it here in case it does as the fat bastard might just get provoked into saying something that’ll intensify the already fairly heated Musk-GOP war.

Popular radio host Charlamagne Tha God on Tuesday questioned Congressman Eric Swalwell on why voters should ever trust Dems again after Tha God read Jake Tapper’s and Alex Thompson’s book “Original Sin,” the New York Post reports on a major scoop that Mediaite somehow missed.

“I just finished reading the ‘Original Sin,’ so when I hear you talk, I’m like, well, what was the Democrats’ excuse when they chose to be accomplices in the cover-up of Biden’s physical and mental decline? It’s the same thing. Y’all got on television and pretended to act like everything was fine, knowing behind the scenes he was not the one,” Tha God said to Swalwell. Like holy shit, this should’ve been a pretty big deal on Mediaite and they kind of dropped the ball.

Charlamagne both-siding AND “Original Sin”? What the fuck, Mediaite? Like “SiriusXM’s Michelle Beadle Goes OFF After Hearing That Stephen A Smith’s New Show Will Take Her Time Slot – Says She Was Blindsided By Move” was good, but it wasn’t Charlamagne x Original Sin good.

Haven’t been this let down by Mediaite since they missed the Scott Jennings tweet about Bill Maher.

Colorado US District Judge Gordon Gallagher on Wednesday ordered a halt to the Trump Regime’s deportation proceedings against the wife and five kids of Boulder terrorist asshole Mohamed Soliman, who used a flamethrower to torch 12 participants in the local Jewish community’s Sunday demonstration calling for the release of the remaining Israeli hostages held by Hamas in Gaza.

In April Soliman’s oldest, daughter Habiba, was locally recognized as one of the “Best and Brightest” and was awarded a scholarship to attend the University of Colorado as a pre-med student. It’s not clear what the point is in ruining her life other than just simple cruelty and malice to the vulnerable.

“The spread of innovation has been proposed as a potentially important source of adaptive behavioural responses to anthropogenic change. Yet, while a diversity of urban innovations have been documented in animals, there are relatively few examples of these spreading to form local traditions. One notable example is the ‘bin-opening innovation’ in sulphur-crested cockatoos (Cacatua galerita), where individuals open household bin lids to access food waste, with this behaviour spreading across southern Sydney, Australia. Here, we describe a second innovation in this species, the ‘drinking-fountain innovation’. Individuals from a population in western Sydney drink from twist-handle public drinking fountains, with this behaviour persisting over at least 2 years.”

“Successful operation requires a coordinated sequence of actions, with only 41 percent of observed attempts ending in success. Intensive observation at one drinking fountain over 44 days revealed 525 attempts and 46 percent of marked individuals successfully engaging in the behaviour, with individuals visiting at dawn and dusk in line with expectations for use of a water resource. Public drinking fountains vary in design between local councils but are generally widespread. Yet, to our knowledge, this behaviour has not been observed elsewhere. Altogether, this suggests that this drinking innovation has spread to form a new urban-adapted local tradition,” says the abstract to a new paper titled “Emergence of a novel drinking innovation in an urban population of sulphur-crested cockatoos, Cacatua galerita,” published by the Royal Society Biology Letters on Wednesday.

Asked to respond to a tweet by you know who demanding that the Big Beautiful Bill be rewritten from scratch, Jesus Dork Speaker of the House Mike Johnson on Wednesday told Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman that “We dont have time for a brand new bill. And I want Elon and all my friends to recognize the complexity of what we’ve accomplished here. This extraordinary piece of legislation, record number of savings, record tax cuts for the American people and all the other benefits in it.”

“We worked on the bill for almost 14 months. You can’t go back to the drawing board – and we shouldn’t. We have a great product to deliver here. I know… it’s not perfect by some peoples’ estimations. But you cannot make a perfect the enemy of the very, very, very good. We’re proud of this product. The House Republicans are proud of it and we’re happy to go out and explain that to everybody,” Johnson continued, pretty much just completely lying about the time pressure aspect.

If they make the debt ceiling a separate vote they have 19 months until the next Congress. Even if that’s not actually that realistic at the very least they have another six considering that the 2017 tax bill passed in mid-December of that year. It’s likely that what Johnson is actually worried about is a recession coming which would make it harder to justify politically what he’s already having a hard time with. He could at least try to be honest about that. Maybe just a Freudian slip or something.

🇺🇸🇺🇸 https://t.co/RrOtAdXQP5

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) June 4, 2025

Ketamine Brain pinned this to the top of his Twitter feed. The rest of the embedded post by the rando, whoever the hell she is, says “Almost every comment is in agreement with Elon – to see so many vehemently disagreeing with Trump is wild. GOP better be reeeeaaal careful.”

“I just finished speaking, by telephone, with President Vladimir Putin, of Russia. The call lasted approximately one hour and 15 minutes. We discussed the attack on Russia’s docked airplanes, by Ukraine, and also various other attacks that have been taking place by both sides. It was a good conversation, but not a conversation that will lead to immediate Peace. President Putin did say, and very strongly, that he will have to respond to the recent attack on the airfields,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Wednesday, not offering anything at all about what he said next.

“We also discussed Iran, and the fact that time is running out on Iran’s decision pertaining to nuclear weapons, which must be made quickly! I stated to President Putin that Iran cannot have a nuclear weapon and, on this, I believe that we were in agreement. President Putin suggested that he will participate in the discussions with Iran and that he could, perhaps, be helpful in getting this brought to a rapid conclusion. It is my opinion that Iran has been slowwalking their decision on this very important matter, and we will need a definitive answer in a very short period of time!” the fat bastard continued and holy shit Putin just changed the subject and fed him sweet nothings, lol.

Thousands in the German city of Cologne were sent fleeing from their homes and offices after our boys overseas dropped a couple of presents for the families of Nazi Wehrmacht’s soldiers.

Seriously. From a translated alert notice by the Cologne city government: “During exploratory work on Monday, June 2, 2025, three unexploded bombs from World War II were discovered in Deutz.”

“These are two American 20-ton bombs and an American 10-ton bomb, each with impact fuses. The Explosive Ordnance Disposal Service of the Düsseldorf District Government is expected to defuse the three unexploded bombs on Wednesday, June 4, 2025. We are sealing off and evacuating the danger zone within a radius of 1,000 meters from 8 am on Wednesday.”

“Around 20,500 residents and a large number of working people are affected by the evacuation. In addition, numerous infrastructure facilities and businesses are affected. These include the Eduardus Hospital, two retirement homes, the Cologne Messe/Deutz train station, stops on KVB lines 1, 7, and 9, numerous large companies such as the trade fair center, RTL, HDI Insurance, LVR, the LANXESS arena, the Musical Dome, the Philharmonic Hall, many museums, large parts of city administration on both sides of the Rhine, 58 hotels, numerous restaurants, nine schools, and many daycare centers.”

“The evacuation is the largest operation since the end of World War II. Everyone involved hopes that the defusing can be completed by Wednesday. This will only be possible if all those affected leave their homes or workplaces early and stay outside the evacuation area from the outset. We ask you to cooperate and follow our instructions so that the evacuation and defusing can proceed quickly and safely,” the Jerries said as they cowered at the wrath of Uncle Sam’s war machine.

The crew of a massive cargo vessel, the Zodiac Maritime-owned “Morning Midas,” carrying over 3,000 Chinese-made electric vehicles bound for Mexico kind of abandoned ship on Wednesday and now the fiery hulk is drifting around the north Pacific around Alaska’s remote Aleutian Islands, Bloomberg reports. All 22 crew members were safely evacuated by the US Coast Guard. It’s not clear what happens next with the still-burning 600-foot long vessel filled with lithium ion batteries.

As in if this ends in any way other than it melting, breaking apart, and sinking into the ocean.

Russian Deputy Foreign Minister Sergei Ryabkov on Wednesday urged “London and Washington to react in such a way as to stop further escalation” after a third of their bomber fleet was destroyed in a stunning drone attack by Ukrainian SBU agents deep inside Russia, Reuters reports.

“All options are on the table,” Ryabkov said when asked what Russia’s response to Ukraine’s attacks would be. “This is a question for our military,” he added, kind of contradicting himself.

“These are several areas that prove the fact of the involvement, both direct and indirect, and the guilt of the West for the terrorist attacks that are taking place against civilians and civilian infrastructure facilities by the Kyiv regime,” said Kremlin Foreign Ministry spokeswoman Maria Zakharova, further contradicting the shit her boss just said about Ukraine being responsible, lol.

Addressing his flock of geese in a Wednesday morning all-hands meeting, Jesus Dork Speaker Mike Johnson told House Republicans that he’s called and texted emerging traitor Elon Musk to explain how the DOGE cuts/rescissions and reconciliation processes being separate but, per Politico’s Meredith Lee Hill, it doesn’t seem like he’s gotten it through to the drug-addicted psychopath.

Johnson was stuck tried to calm his members over Musk’s threat to fund primary challengers to those who voted in favor of the Big Beautiful Bill, arguing that Musk is still citing CBO scoring on the bill that it adds trillions to the debt. Which was just updated this morning saying that it still adds trillions to the national debt – $2.4 trillion, more precisely. Johnson’s message, per Hill, was that all sorts of people will have differences of opinion on the important matter, so don’t take it personally.

It’s not clear how being threatened by a deranged fucking maniac with more money than God might be taken other than personally by a House Republican. They’re not exactly known for humility, lol.

There should be zero text under this clip. It should speak for itself in all its glory. However it’s necessary to point out that Maria Bartiromo isn’t handing James Comer any rope so much as swinging next to him. Or, to be the slightest bit charitable, that maybe she’s sparing him some embarrassment. Kind of a stretch though, considering that she is the Maria Bartiromo and all.

At least 10 cricket fans are dead after things got out of hand at a cricket stadium in Bengaluru, India on Wednesday during a victory celebration for cricket Premier League 2025 champs the Bengalaru Royal Challengers, the Hindu Reports while noting the death toll is expected to go up.

Cricket is a bat-and-ball sport played between two teams of 11 players on a circular field with a 22-yard pitch at the center. One team bats, aiming to score runs by hitting the ball and running between wickets, while the other bowls and fields to restrict runs and dismiss batters. Each side takes turns batting and fielding. A match can last from a few hours (T20 format) to five days (Test cricket).

Players score by hitting the ball and running or by hitting boundaries. The team with the most runs at the end of the match wins. Strategy, patience, and precision are key. Cricket is popular in countries that were formerly part of the British Empire, particularly Pakistan and India – the nation in which the horrible tragedy occurred during what was supposed to be a day of celebration for the squad.

In conclusion cricket is a sport with a rich history that can seem confusing to unfamiliar audiences.

“ADP NUMBER OUT!!! ‘Too Late’ Powell must now LOWER THE RATE. He is unbelievable!!! Europe has lowered NINE TIMES!” president post on Wednesday. Very mad, panicky. Too late, lower rate rhyme.

ADP number not good. Nerds forecast 37,000 more jobs vs 114,000 expected. Rate bad.

TACO Tuesday was in full swing as the Trump Regime chickened out of what probably would’ve been a bit excessive, even for them, this time by granting one year of humanitarian parole to Mexican national Deysi Vargas and her four year-old daughter, identified only as SGV, who suffers from a condition that would almost certainly be fatal if she’s deported, NBC News reports.

SGV has short bowel syndrome, affecting her small intestine and seriously hampering her ability to absorb nutrients from food. She requires complex daily treatment to get the proper nutrition, and wears a portable backpack outside of the home, according to her family and lawyers.

Iranian dictator Ayatollah Ali Khamenei on Wednesday officially rejected convicted felon President Trump’s proposed agreement on the fascist theocracy’s nuclear program, with Hairy Al’s main sticking point the total proscription of uranium enrichment, Jewish Insider reports on another foreign policy failure that will be spun as somehow a victory for the toughest negotiator ever.

Khamenei announced the collapse of the talks during a speech at some other robed Shiite wizard’s grave, saying that Iran’s “enemies have focused all their attention on this very process of uranium enrichment… A nuclear industry without enrichment capabilities is useless because we would then be dependent on others to obtain fuel for our power plants,” and warning that without enrichment, Iran would be “reliant on them for radiopharmaceuticals, energy, desalination equipment and in tens of other critical sectors.” There’s been some back-and-forth on the reporting on whether Trump’s coffee boy Steve Witkoff had actually put a low allowance for enrichment on the table for the Iranians, but either way Trump nuked that provision in a Monday night Truth Social post.

“The rude, insolent US leaders want this. They’re opposed to progress and self-sufficiency for the Iranian people… Those in power today – the Zionists and the Americans – should know they can’t do a damn thing in this area,” Khamenei said as probably upward of a thousand armed personnel surrounded him to guard against ISIS suicide bombers and Iranian citizens angry at their low standard of living, shitty wages, lack of educational and employment opportunities, and so on.