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Murdered health insurance CEO’s company real fucking assholes

United Healthcare, the company helmed by some other exec now that CEO Brian Thompson was canceled by a brazen assassin in Manhattan early Wednesday morning, had among the highest claim denial rates out of any major insurer, according to a ProPublica report from last year.

Violence isn’t the answer. But since the violence already happened we can kind of not really be so upset that this guy was killed right? There’s no rule against that. Probably… Plus plenty of people who got fucked over by UHC are no doubt happy Thompson is dead. We can be happy for them.

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“The House would have a larger majority but…”

Here’s Jesus Dork Speaker Mike Johnson blaming gerrymandering in Blue States for the fact that his majority lost a net two seats last month, putting just a five seat cushion under him AFTER three get filled with special elections. He wouldn’t have a majority at all right now were it not for Republicans in North Carolina wiping out three Dem seats. But since he doesn’t like such practices a Dem House member should help him out and intro a bill banning partisan gerrymandering nationwide, see if Johnson will take it up. We already know the answer but might as well make him look dumber.

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Kash’s lawyer sends cease and desist to rogue ex-Trump official

“This law firm represents Kashyap Patel. Litigation will be filed against you if you fail to publicly retract defamatory statements you made about Mr Patel on MSNBC on December 2, 2024. Be further advised that you should identify and preserve all hard copy and electronically stored documents, information, and data that relate, in any way, to Mr Patel and to your statements about him on MSNBC. On December 2, 2024, you appeared as a live guest on MSNBC and made several false and defamatory statements about Mr Patel,” says a letter from douchebag MAGA lawyer Jesse Binnall to former aide-turned-anti-Trump media personality Olivia Troye.

“These comments include that Mr Patel would ‘lie about intelligence’ and would ‘lie about making things up on operations’ to the point where Mr Patel ‘put the lives of Navy Seals at risk when it came to Nigeria,’ and that Mr Patel was even misinforming Vice President Mike Pence. This is a complete fabrication, and you know it is false by virtue of your former position in the White House. At no point did Mr Patel ever lie about national intelligence, place Navy Seals at risk, or misinform the Vice President. Not only did you have actual knowledge of the falsity of this smear, but you also did so with the malicious intent of degrading his character and of cynical self-promotion. This is, of course, not the first time you have milked your former title as a means of spreading lies about associates of President Donald J Trump. You are already embroiled in a lawsuit for your disgusting lies about Ambassador Ric Grenell on Twitter,” the plainly butthurt letter from Binnall continued.

Sounds like Troye is “over the target” as the fanboys are so fond of saying in moments like this.

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Breitbart corners Thom Tillis into unconditional surrender

In a hostage statement packaged as a news article “Exclusive – Tillis Backs Bondi for AG, Patel for FBI; Will Vote for Hegseth and All Trump Nominees on Floor if Reported Favorably Out of Committee,” the right wing propaganda site’s extremely creepy “senior political reporter” Matthew Boyle has forced the North Carolina senator’s office on record capitulating to support whichever of the convicted felon President-Elect’s nominees that actually make it to the confirmation process.

“Senator Tillis has been focused on reviewing the nominees in his committees of jurisdiction and making sure they get fair hearings, and he is working on making sure Pam Bondi and Kash Patel get through the Senate Judiciary Committee and get confirmed on the floor,” Tillis spokesman Daniel Keylin – and not Tillis himself – told Boyle on Wednesday. “Senator Tillis trusts his Republican colleagues to ensure that all of President Trump’s nominees get a fair confirmation process, and any nominee that gets a favorable vote out of committee will get the Senator’s vote on the floor.”

With so few other realistic opportunities on the map, Tillis’s seat is basically a must-flip for Democrats in 2026, even though it’s been however goddamned long since a Dem won a Senate seat in North Carolina, which is why there’s been some pre-game hype about how he votes in the upcoming gauntlet, so it’s obvious why Breitbart is acting as Trump’s enforcer to publicly lock him in now on the slate of freaks. Of course trying to make FBI Director Kash Patel a millstone around his neck is probably going to be less of a factor than the overall environment for Republican incumbents after two years of MAGA batshittery/tarifflation and whether outgoing Gov Roy Cooper runs.

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Hawley says Hegseth canceled meeting

Saying no more than “We’re not having it… I guess” to CBS’s Scott MacFarlane, Senator Bro from MO Josh Hawley on Wednesday confirmed that rapey binge drinking white nationalist former Fox News host Pete Hegseth backed out of a meeting with Hawley and maybe some other GOP senators.

Huh. Well maybe everything’s fine. Still, we were to understand that this was do or die for Hegseth, that “the next 48 hours were crucial” and all that. Probably not a great time to be canceling.

Pete himself told Megyn Kelly that everything’s still fine and that convicted felon President-Elect Trump has been encouraging him to “keep fighting” because Hegseth’s so America First and shit.

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Orange Dumbass admits he isn’t vetting his nominees

“The Wall Street Journal is becoming more and more obnoxious and unreadable. Today’s main headline is: ‘Trump’s DEA Pick Pulls Out In Latest Setback.’ With all that’s happening in the World, this is their Number One story of the day. Besides, he didn’t pull out, I pulled him out, because I did not like what he said to my pastors and other supporters. But, more importantly, what’s my ‘latest’ setback??? I just won the Presidency of the United States! They haven’t written a good story about me in YEARS. Somebody over there ought to look at what they’re doing. The only one worse than them is stupid, China-centric Forbes Magazine!” posted convicted felon President-Elect Trump on Wednesday, apparently forgetting that Matt Gaetz withdrew from consideration for attorney general.

Also no way the fat shit actually reads the Wall Street Journal so much as has it summarized to him.

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Navarro, out of the big house, headed back to the White House

Convicted felon President-Elect Trump on Wednesday announced that other convicted felon Peter Navarro will return to the White House to serve as “Senior Counselor for Trade and Manufacturing.”

Not sure if that’s a real title or something Trump just made up, but it would appear to be a sign that the fat fuck is not just bluffing when it comes to the tariffs he’s vowed to impose.

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South Korean lawmakers move ahead on impeaching Yoon

We can’t say that conservative South Korean President Yoon Suk Yeol’s martial law declaration this week DEFINITELY backfired because he was already facing impeachment before the fucking stupid-ass move. But the Yonhap News Agency reports that now the opposition is completely unified with 191 lawmakers in the National Assembly signing on to a resolution for impeachment, which requires two-thirds of the 300-member chamber to pass and suspend Yoon from office pending a trial.

Which means, per Yonhap, the opposition will have to peel off eight votes from Yoon’s People Power Party to move forward (obviously there’s a math discrepancy here, but maybe there’s an empty seat). How tall of an order that is we don’t know. One on hand there was definitely opposition to the martial law declaration from within the PPP, but on the other no Assembly members from the party sponsored this motion. Dem lawmakers say they’re going to put it to the floor within on either Friday or Saturday as law requires any impeachment motion to be voted on within 24 to 72 hours.

We’re proooobably not going to be doing minute-by-minute updates on the whip operation on South Korean lawmakers neither we nor our readers have ever heard of before. Hell we know next to nothing about the country’s political culture and whether public signal of intent on such votes is a thing there. But if it looks like this son of a bitch is going to burn we’ll share the good news.

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WATCH LIVE: House GOP bitch about Hunter Biden pardon

House Republicans are planning to denounce President Biden’s pardon of his son Hunter in a press conference on Wednesday and there will probably be plenty of comedy when reporters ask them to square their outrage over that with convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s deeply corrupt pardon spree – Paul Manafort, Charles Kushner, Mike Flynn, Steve Bannon, etc – from four years ago.

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AOC interested in replacing Raskin on Oversight

New York Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is interested in running to replace Jamie Raskin in the top Dem spot on feckless hick James Comer’s Oversight Committee as Raskin this week announced he’ll be challenging Jerry Nadler for the top Dem spot on the Judiciary Committee where Raskin can torment spandex-wearing grapple-freak Jim Jordan, Politico reports.

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Petey Pee Pants remains defiant

“I’m doing this for the warfighters, not the warmongers. The Left is afraid of disrupters and change agents. They are afraid of @realDonaldTrump – and me. So they smear w/ fake, anonymous sources & BS stories. They don’t want truth. Our warriors never back down, & neither will I,” posted Pete Hegseth on Wednesday following reports that convicted felon President-Elect Trump is considering replacing him with other “Never Back Down” guy, pudding-fingered Florida Gov Ron DeSantis.

Meanwhile the New York Times reports that the fat fuck’s support for Pete is indeed “wobbling” with Trump beat duo Maggie Haberman and Jon Swan writing that Donald “has told people he was unhappy with the story about the email” Hegseth’s mother wrote in 2018 in which she called out his scumbaggery and that Team Orange “will watch closely how Mr Hegseth and his mother perform” in a series of interviews, lol. They’re literally doing a damage control press tour.

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Republican John Duarte concedes in last uncalled House race

“Moderate” Republican California Congressman John Duarte told Axios on Tuesday he’s conceded to Dem Adam Gray in the final uncalled House race of 2024, leaving the GOP with just a 217 to 215 majority for the first few months until Matt Gaetz, Mike Waltz, and Elise Stefanik can be replaced.

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Chi-Chi’s eyes comeback years after deadly hepatitis outbreak

Let the salsabration begin again! In a story titled “Is Chi-Chi’s coming back? 20 years after fatal Pennsylvania outbreak, Chi-Chi’s may return” the Beaver County Times reports that Hormel Foods, the owners of the defunct Tex-Mex chain’s intellectual property and still market it as a brand for salsa and other Mexican snack foods products, have okayed a return after a deadly hepatitis A outbreak traced to green onions served at a location in the town of Monaco in Beaver County.

“For Beaver County residents, Chi-Chi’s holds a unique place in local history. At its peak, Chi-Chi’s operated more than 200 stores, but that number was down by about half in the early 2000s. When the outbreak happened, Chi-Chi’s had already been in a tailspin and was shedding locations in a bid to stay afloat,” the Times wrote. Yeah that sure is a unique place in local history. “There’s no word yet on where the new Chi-Chi’s restaurants would be located or when they would open,” the paper’s report continues and yeah they probably won’t be relaunching in the area given that history.

Chi-Chi’s is the second major brand to have collapsed in ignominy in the early 2000s reported to be gearing up for a relaunch this week, following the bizarre and questionable resurfacing of Enron.

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Fox News coworkers say Hegseth constantly reeked of booze

Several Fox News employees tell NBC News that former Fox and Friends weekend host Pete Hegseth showed up to work drunk and stinking of booze at least a dozen times since he started on the show in 2017, one of them saying it was as recently as last month that the rapey white nationalist showed up with the Irish Flu before going on camera to spew right wing bullshit.

“Everyone would be talking about it behind the scenes before he went on the air,” a former Fox employee said. Worried about how being Secretary of Defense is a lot more demanding than sitting on a couch and talking to angry racist boomers, one staffer said “for the sake of national security, I really hope he has stopped drinking. Another said flat out that Hegseth “should not be secretary of defense. His drinking should be disqualifying.” But the Nazi tattoos aren’t, we guess.

Anyway, this probably explains a lot about why Fox isn’t defending Hegseth on air, they’re ignoring him altogether, per CNN’s Brian Stelter, concluding that with just a handful of mentions, most of them about that fake pipe bomb threat and one anchor making a stray comment that he’s “headed for a tough confirmation,” leading Stelter to conclude that “Fox has insulated its conservative audience from reports that might dim their perception of Hegseth and Trump, instead offering viewers a safe space where their existing beliefs are reinforced by sympathetic hosts and guests.”

Well maybe that wasn’t the most novel insight about Fox since it applies to pretty much every single second of their programming (when Jessica Tarlov, Neil Cavuto, or the handful of other non-MAGAs aren’t talking) with or without this Hegseth shitshow. Still has to sting a little extra that one of their own is facing an ever-steeper path to boozing and fucking on the job at the Pentagon.

Separately the Wall Street Journal reports the Senate GOP have “signaled the next few days could be critical for determining whether Pete Hegseth has enough support to be confirmed,” which sure sounds similar to what they said when Matt Gaetz’s bid was similarly circling the drain.

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Was it a rape thing or does he not want to execute drug dealers?

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Team Orange files last motion to dismiss Manhattan conviction

Convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s team of shitbag lawyers on Tuesday put together a greatest hits album of their histrionic whining from over the years in what appears to be the final motion to dismiss the 34 count Manhattan conviction, a filing rife with phrases like “With respect to Presidential immunity, it would be egregious and unlawful for this Court10 hold the prospect of a 2029 sentencing over President Trump’s head while he continues hisservice to this Country,” “The exceedingly weak nature of DANYs evidence supports President Trump’s motion,” and “President Trump’s civic and financial contributions to this City and the Nation are too numerous to count.”

What happens next we don’t know. Ideally sentencing should be withheld until 2029. We shall see.

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Yoon backs down from martial law

South Korean President Yoon Suk Yeol acceded to the National Assembly’s vote to overturn his declaration of martial law early Wednesday local time, withdrawing troops from the legislative center in Seoul and ordered his cabinet to convene and vote on it, the final step to ending the state of emergency the crazy asshole had called over his tanking political standing, ABC News reports.

“The troops deployed for martial law have been withdrawn,” was the only quote from Yoon after the vote appearing in ABC’s article. It’s not clear how many members of Yoon’s own conservative People Power Party had voted against martial law, but the number wasn’t small. Seoul Mayor Oh Se-hoon and party chair Lee Jae-myung were among other PPP figures vehemently opposed to the declaration with Lee calling it an “unconstitutional” measure that “goes against the people. Tanks, armored vehicles and soldiers with guns and swords will soon control the country,” while Oh sought to reassure Seoulites that he was going to do his “best to protect the daily lives of citizens,” after footage of tense confrontations outside the legislature between troops and locals had spread.

So yeah, Yoon’s probably about to go through some things. Some politically humiliating things.

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Lindsey not so sure Pete Hegseth’s gonna make it

“I think some of these articles are very disturbing. He obviously has a chance to defend himself here, but some of this stuff is it’s going to be difficult. You know, time will tell. I like Pete… Some of the things have to be addressed… I mean, what we want to do is make sure that we have good order and discipline. Been in the military for over 30 years… Leadership comes at the top. And I want to make sure that every young woman who joins military feels respected,” said confirmed bachelor Senator Lindsey Graham to CNN’s Alan He on Tuesday, making it sound like not at all a sure thing for Fox News host Pete Hegseth to be sitting in the Secretary of Defense’s office come February.

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Ohio psychopath sentenced to a year for murdering and eating cat

In a case that MAGA shitbags knowingly used footage of to propagate the lie that the Springfield, Ohio Haitian community were eating people’s cats, a Canton woman was sentenced to a year in prison, plus another 18 months for a probation violation, for stomping on the head of an innocent feline and then consuming its flesh in the disturbing August 16th incident, WKYC reports.

The video of 27 year-old maniac Allexis Ferrell’s depraved act made national news weeks before the MAGA propaganda industrial complex appropriated it to serve convicted felon now-President-Elect Trump and his couchfucking sidekick JD Vance’s narrative about widespread savagery toward animals, but they didn’t let that get in the way of claiming it happened 140 miles to the southwest in Springfield and that the American-born Ferrell was a Haitian immigrant. It’s not even like the pic of the Black dude carrying a dead goose was taken in Columbus weeks earlier where some Reddit user had to come forward and say it was just something wacky they saw randomly one day. The disinfo experts plucked that one from an obscure feed and it took a week for the OP to try to rebut it.

And it took actual reporting to expose that the cat was in the basement the whole time that one lady had been calling the police to claim it had been abducted by a Haitian and that the person who was poaching geese from the park was a white male Republican. But because it felt true or that even if it wasn’t true it “spoke to a larger point” that only Donald Trump can stop them from eating the dogs, eating the cats, eating the pets, none of the facts ever mattered. Some people are just racist twats and want to believe that law-abiding, gainfully employed Haitian refugees are savages.

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