“7-Eleven, Inc is turning the flavor dial to 11 once again by teaming up with Green Day and Punk Bunny to unveil an all-new, exclusive Slurpee® drink flavor: Kerplunk Kandy Grape. As an ode to the band’s 1992 album ‘Kerplunk!’, this rockin’ new flavor mashes up cotton candy sweetness with juicy grape vibes. The Kerplunk Kandy Grape Slurpee drink is a sweet and slightly twisted treat that tastes just like the cotton candy grapes Green Day keeps as a staple on their backstage riders. Born from the band’s personal snack pile and reborn in frozen form, this isn’t your average frozen treat – it’s a full-on flavor riot. The new flavor is available now for a limited time at participating 7-Eleven®, Speedway® and Stripes® stores nationwide,” says a 7-Eleven press release.

“The drinks don’t stop there – after the exclusive debut of Punk Bunny Coffee at 7-Eleven in 2024, anticipation has been building for the next drop. 7-Eleven and Green Day are rolling out three new exclusive Punk Bunny coffee varieties at participating stores: Mike Dirnt’s Turn Up the Bass Medium Roast, Punk Bunny Cold Brew Caramel Latte and Chocolate Almond Specialty Latte,” the fan service to Gen Xers who were fed up with those stuffy suits and their marketing campaigns continued.

Still running this live earlier in the homepage feed but this moment is worth picking out as it is more or less EXACTLY what one random MAGA asshole posted on Fox News all the way back in November, that kids should learn to live with less stuff because he’s going to raise prices.

Legendary Denver Broncos QB John Elway killed his longtime agent turned business partner with a golf cart in California on Saturday, TMZ reports. Jeff Sperbeck, 61, is not dead yet but is being prepped for organ harvesting after falling off the vehicle allegedly being driven by Elway, 64, in La Quinta, California on Saturday. The two founded a winery after Elway’s retirement and… yeah…

Bad enough the guy’s braindead. Worse would be if Elway were drunk on their wine.

On this day in history 80 years ago the original inspiration behind the MAGA movement shot himself dead in a bunker underneath Berlin as Soviet troops stormed into the city, the capital to a nation utterly devastated after six years of a war that Adolf Hitler himself had started.

Hitler’s self-inflicted end was no comfort to the few who had opposed his rule, they had suffered just as badly at the hands of the Allies and the Russians as those who did. Keep that in mind if and when you’re ever tempted to embrace the blackpill of enjoying the ruin Trump has wrought.

A Homer, Alaska-area dog is lucky to be alive after nearly getting hit by a Cessna 207 coming in for a landing at the Nanwalek airstrip Monday afternoon, the pooch avoiding a gruesome fate after the single-engine plane’s pilot pulled up at the last second, KTUU reports citing NTSB officials.

“What we understand now is that there may have been an animal, namely a dog, that was on the runway. The pilot initiated a go-around. There was also another company airplane behind – he was talking to that airplane at the same time – said he was initiating the go-around, made a right turn away from the runway, pretty steep climb, and unfortunately, there was a loss of control,” NTSB state chief Clint Johnson told reporters, not mentioning any detail about the dog like if it was a mischievous little Lab puppy with an adorable wet nose named Dodger or Zowie or Corduroy.

“We don’t want to draw any conclusions at this point,” Johnson added, again not describing the dog’s color and what kind of chew toys he or she likes to play with. “We still are in the very formative stages. We are going to be looking very closely at that airplane. We are in the recovery process right now to get that airplane back to Homer and probably eventually back to Anchorage here where we are going to lay it out and make sure there are no mechanical issues that led to this loss of control.”

“Rescuers were able to pull that wreckage up a little bit further away from the water, but nevertheless it is in the tide zone,” Johnson, who is obviously a cat person, said about the plane and the dead people and the one guy who survived with horrible injuries and blah blah blah and not about the canine who made a mistake but is still a good doggie and deserves a treat.

On a recent Navigator Research survey’s question of “You indicated you voted for Donald Trump in 2024. Do you regret voting for Donald Trump? [If do not regret voting for Trump] Would you say you are disappointed or not disappointed in how Donald Trump has handled his first few months of being president?” 11 percent said yes, they regret voting for Trump and another 16 percent say they’re disappointed. It’s not clear how many in the 1,000-respondent sample said they actually voted for the fat fuck, so it’s hard to estimate how representative 11 percent could be.

A federal judge on Wednesday denied convicted felon President Trump’s DOJ’s bid to pause further discovery in the case of Kilmar Abrego Garcia, JustSecurity’s Adam Klasfeld reports.

Not the greatest timing for Team Orange on that as the stay is still set to expire this afternoon, a day after ABC News aired the interview in which the fat fuck said he could get Abrego Garcia out of the CECOT dungeon in El Salvador if he wanted to. The Supreme Court ordered him to do it.

Verbatim from Deputy White House Press Secretary Anna Kelly: “If you break it down, there is an outsized influence in January in that report. This president wasn’t elected until January 20.” Yeah, she literally said “elected,” not “inaugurated.” That was the least untrue thing she said.

“This is Biden’s Stock Market, not Trump’s. I didn’t take over until January 20th. Tariffs will soon start kicking in, and companies are starting to move into the USA in record numbers. Our Country will boom, but we have to get rid of the Biden ‘Overhang.’ This will take a while, has NOTHING TO DO WITH TARIFFS, only that he left us with bad numbers, but when the boom begins, it will be like no other. BE PATIENT!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Wednesday.

Not even sure where to start with this. It’s almost perfect, really. How can one truly ever top this self-satire when the line all last year was that Trump actually owned the stock market because investors were pricing in his comeback? Or that an impulsive man-boy is now counseling patience? Never mind that the Dow Jones is down 3,329.38 since January 20th. Just revel in the glory of this.

“Real gross domestic product (GDP) decreased at an annual rate of 0.3 percent in the first quarter of 2025 (January, February, and March), according to the advance estimate released by the US Bureau of Economic Analysis. In the fourth quarter of 2024, real GDP increased 2.4 percent. The decrease in real GDP in the first quarter primarily reflected an increase in imports, which are a subtraction in the calculation of GDP, and a decrease in government spending. These movements were partly offset by increases in investment, consumer spending, and exports,” says the Bureau of Economic Analysis in the quarterly GDP update. Love the sugarcoating with the “decrease in government spending.”

Fed up with the pollution caused by frozen corpses on the world’s tallest mountain, Nepal’s lawmakers are working on a new bill to reduce the rate at which they’re piling up by requiring the would-be corpses to either expire on other peaks in the country or just not expire there at all, CNN reports in not so harsh terms about the corpse situation in the nightmarish void.

The way they see it, mandating that climbers first ascend one of the many other 22,965+ ft peaks in the country before being eligible for a permit to climb Everest is a sensible solution to the corpse problem, even if it’ll cause obvious issues in an economy dependent on such corpse production.

Former Vice President Kamala Harris will on Wednesday mark convicted felon President Trump’s 100 days of his second failed term in office with a speech in San Francisco, the AP reports while hyping it as “her most extensive public remarks since leaving office in January following her defeat to Trump, with planned critiques of the Republican president’s handling of the economy, US institutions and foreign policy,” as she nears an expected decision on whether to run for governor of California in 2026 like Richard Nixon after losing or for president again in 2028 like Richard Nixon did after losing.

There’s an extremely thin veneer of ambiguity here as the speech is an address to the 20th anniversary gala for Emerge America, an organization that recruits Democratic women to run for office – which the AP writes was an outgrowth of Harris’s first successful campaign for San Francisco District Attorney – rather than one put on by any part of her political organization.

Still it’s a big deal and, as has been noted here repeatedly, if Harris is for real about 2028 she would do very well to replicate the Orange God Emperor’s four years in the wilderness with incessant backseat driving and heckling the fuck out of the fat bastard. Grace period’s over.

In case you wonder what we — and President Trump — are up against.

100% NEGATIVE coverage from so-call “mainstream” press in the first 100 days. PERFECT SCORE.

(Come on @RobertKennedyJr & @elonmusk , you guys can do better!) pic.twitter.com/uYi2ebI0RG

— Pete Hegseth (@PeteHegseth) April 30, 2025

“At approximately 3:00 AM on April 28, 2025, Officer John Glas conducted a traffic stop on an Uber driver on Massillon Road near Cates Drive. This wasn’t a routine stop. The night before, our dispatch center received a 911 text from a concerned Uber fare. The passenger reported that their driver had casually mentioned he had a false-bottom aerosol can in the vehicle containing methamphetamine.”

“Feeling understandably uneasy, the fare discreetly reached out for help using 911 text. The next night, Officer Glas spotted the same vehicle and conducted a traffic stop. Following an investigation, the following was located inside the car: A false-bottom aerosol can containing 24 grams of methamphetamine (that’s four times the bulk amount), 4 pills, A meth pipe, A digital scale, Packaging baggies, Cash, Three cell phones. The driver, a 47 year old Woodland Drive man (Robert Rose) from the City of Green, denied ownership of the aerosol can (as they always do).”

“Unfortunately for him, the can – and everything in it – was found right inside his vehicle. He was arrested and charged with: Drug Trafficking, Possession of Felony Drugs, Possession of Drug Paraphernalia. He was transported to jail. And, as if the situation couldn’t get any more ironic, the arrestee was wearing a T-shirt that said: ‘Retired Drug Dealer.’ As you’ll see in the body camera screenshot below, the shirt apparently didn’t get the memo,” says a Tuesday Facebook post from the Springfield Ohio Township Police Department, along with pics of the non-retiree.

If not for the shirt this article could’ve been about how the passenger – if they’re smart enough to complain to Uber – would almost certainly have gotten out of paying for the ride and likely credits for at least a few more for the hassle of being driven by this model Red State Caucasian entrepreneur.

The Ports of Los Angeles and Long Beach, which receive 40 percent of all Chinese-manufactured goods in the United States, reported traffic down 10 percent year-over-year this month, with officials expecting it to drop by as much as 35 percent in the coming weeks, CBS News reports.

Convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday called Jeff Bezos to complain about a planned display of tariff costs on Amazon price listings, prompting Bezos to back off, CNN reports.

In a Tuesday piece on the pretty fucked up saga surrounding Republican Virginia Lt Governor nominee John Reid, Virginia Mercury columnist Bob Lewis writes that last week he received an unexpected and strage Facebook friend request he “immediately recognized as phony. It purported to be from a real-life friend I’ve known for more than a quarter of a century. It used his real name and photo, but it had only 16 friends, not his more than 2,000 online friends, including me. So I reported the sham account to Facebook and texted my friend, who knew about it and had already alerted Facebook. The fake ‘friendvite’ was one of many I reject and report every week.”

The piece came just as Reid accused smarmy vest guy douchebag Gov Glenn Youngkin’s political operation of having been behind what would seem to be a similar effort, per the Advocate, that a sketchy Tumblr account – bearing a similar handle to one that Reid used on other platforms – was chock full of gay porn, which Youngkin used as a pretext to personally call Reid and ask him to drop out of the race. Obviously this is some pretty amateurish shit, but so is much of Republican politics.

Nearly half – 45 percent – of respondents to an NPR/PBS/Marist College national survey give convicted felon President Trump an “F,” while another 7 percent say “D,” 8 percent at “C,” 17 percent at “B,” and 23 percent were ballsucking cultists who give him an “A.”

“The Polls from the Fake News are, like the News itself, FAKE! We are doing GREAT, better than ever before,” screamed the fat fuck on his stupid social media network late Monday.