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“Retired drug dealer” t-shirt only as effective as wearer’s discretion

“At approximately 3:00 AM on April 28, 2025, Officer John Glas conducted a traffic stop on an Uber driver on Massillon Road near Cates Drive. This wasn’t a routine stop. The night before, our dispatch center received a 911 text from a concerned Uber fare. The passenger reported that their driver had casually mentioned he had a false-bottom aerosol can in the vehicle containing methamphetamine.”

“Feeling understandably uneasy, the fare discreetly reached out for help using 911 text. The next night, Officer Glas spotted the same vehicle and conducted a traffic stop. Following an investigation, the following was located inside the car: A false-bottom aerosol can containing 24 grams of methamphetamine (that’s four times the bulk amount), 4 pills, A meth pipe, A digital scale, Packaging baggies, Cash, Three cell phones. The driver, a 47 year old Woodland Drive man (Robert Rose) from the City of Green, denied ownership of the aerosol can (as they always do).”

“Unfortunately for him, the can – and everything in it – was found right inside his vehicle. He was arrested and charged with: Drug Trafficking, Possession of Felony Drugs, Possession of Drug Paraphernalia. He was transported to jail. And, as if the situation couldn’t get any more ironic, the arrestee was wearing a T-shirt that said: ‘Retired Drug Dealer.’ As you’ll see in the body camera screenshot below, the shirt apparently didn’t get the memo,” says a Tuesday Facebook post from the Springfield Ohio Township Police Department, along with pics of the non-retiree.

If not for the shirt this article could’ve been about how the passenger – if they’re smart enough to complain to Uber – would almost certainly have gotten out of paying for the ride and likely credits for at least a few more for the hassle of being driven by this model Red State Caucasian entrepreneur.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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