Tonight, I’m announcing a nationwide and international multimillion-dollar ad campaign warning illegal aliens to leave our country NOW or face deportation with the inability to return to the US. This serves as a strong warning to criminal illegal aliens to not come to America. If… pic.twitter.com/VcVgJYfSKR

— Secretary Kristi Noem (@Sec_Noem) February 18, 2025

You hear that amigos? Leave NOW or you’ll be deported! She’s serious about this! You’ll be so sorry if you don’t go back to Mexico or the other countries that are next to Mexico! Pack your stuff and get out or you’re going to get kicked out! No more screwing around! GET OUT OR ELSE!

For the crime of telling a Vanity Fair reporter that Third Son Barron Trump is “sort of like an oddity on campus. He goes to class, he goes home” as she expressed sympathy for him being deprived of a more normal experience at the school, NYU College Republicans chapter President Kaya Walker was ceremoniously removed from her position by the organization’s national leadership on Monday.

Said the national orgnaization in a statement: “We have been made aware of a statement made by the NYU chapter President that does not align with the values and principles upheld by our organization. Though Vanity Fair and The Independent unfairly framed what was said, upon review, we still found it to be inappropriate. The NYU chapter President submitted her resignation last night.”

“We are collaborating closely with the NYU chapter to ensure a smooth transition in leadership. Our goal is to reaffirm CRA’s dedication to the ideals of the Republican Party and conservative movement in a manner that reflects honorably upon our organization and its mission,” the statement continued before going into some masturbatory self-congratulating about their support for the Orange God Emperor. The statement ended with this: “In response to these developments, CRA President Will Donahue is extending an invitation to join CRA to the President’s son. ‘Barron Trump represents the future of the conservative movement, and we would be honored to have him join College Republicans of America,’ Donahue said. ‘Strong leadership is built on resilience, courage, and the humility to rise above petty hostility – qualities that Barron has already demonstrated. We invite Barron to join us in shaping the future of our party.'” Ughhhhhhhh man that’s fucking pathetic.

Immediately before the “oddity” quote from Walker the VF reporter wrote “Barron’s classmates described his day-to-day comings and goings to me as limited. One remembered asking to play basketball with him. Barron seemed interested, he said, but he got the sense that, with plainclothes Secret Service officers hovering, ‘he wasn’t really allowed to do stuff.'” Can’t wait for the reporting about Donahue flying to NYC and throwing a big ceremony that Barron doesn’t even show up to.

“With a suite of NASA science and technology on board, Firefly Aerospace is targeting no earlier than 3:45 am EST on Sunday, March 2, to land the Blue Ghost lunar lander on the Moon. Blue Ghost is slated to touch down near Mare Crisium, a plain in the northeast quadrant on the near side of the Moon, as part of NASA’s CLPS (Commercial Lunar Payload Services) initiative and Artemis campaign to establish a long-term lunar presence. Live coverage of the landing, jointly hosted by NASA and Firefly, will air on NASA+ starting at 2:30 am EST, approximately 75 minutes before touchdown on the Moon’s surface. Learn how to watch NASA content through a variety of platforms, including social media. The broadcast will also stream on Firefly’s YouTube channel. Coverage will include live streaming and blog updates as the descent milestones occur,” says NASA in a press release.

Who the hell planned this landing time? “Hey I bet right when all the Gen Zers come home from the bar and are spilling cheap marinara sauce on the floor and are trying to find the lighter that’s on the coffee table in front of them so they can smoke a shittily-rolled joint is when they’ll remember to flip on NASA+ to watch our landing. Let’s hope so since every other demographic will be asleep.”

And yes, obviously that time was chosen because it’s the optimum landing window due to the position of the Moon’s orbit and the Earth’s rotation and so on but this isn’t friggin Mars. The lunar cycle is 29.5 days long. Making flight engineers and all the other people work overnight on a Saturday is ridiculous and brings unnecessary risks of mistakes in landing adjustments and what not.

Advocating murder of the President is a serious crime and they have the gall to do so on President’s Day!

Letting @EagleEdMartin know about this.

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) February 17, 2025

A Delta Airlines commuter-ish jet inbound from Minneapolis with at least 80 passengers on board crashed and flipped at Toronto Pearson Airport on Monday, miraculously only eight people were injured, CBS News reports. Not sure how much blame can go to Trump’s FAA purge here.

A Jewish Florida man faces two counts of attempted murder after telling cops he “he saw two Palestinians and shot and killed both” as he was being arrested on Saturday, shortly after he had pointed a semi-automatic handgun at a passing vehicle and fired 17 rounds into it, NBC 6 reports.

The local story does make mention that the two men that 27 year-old Mordechai Brafman – a fan of far right Israeli militant account “thejewishmarksman” on Instagram – fired at not only survived with relatively minor wounds but were able to drive themselves to a hospital to get treatment.

Missing though is a pretty crucial detail, something else Brafman got wrong: They’re not Palestinian.

What’s funny in a really sick and twisted way too is that, per the Times of Israel, victim Ari Rabey and his unnamed father may have been under the impression that Brafman was a Palestinian (or maybe a MAGA Neo-Nazi), writing “Dear Jews, we are in Miami, they tried to murder us on a nationalist reasons. My father was in a car yesterday in the Pearl Arbor neighborhood. They shot me and my father in the car. 12 bullets hit me. My father and I are here in a hospital in Miami. My father is anxious and afraid. We need your help. Chabad Jews. Please help us. We don’t know anything. Save them,” per a Google translation of Rabey’s Facebook post. Which was in Hebrew and he did not appear to be aware that it was another Jew who shot him. Welcome to Florida kid!

New York City First Deputy Mayor Maria Torres-Springer, Deputy Mayor for Operations Meera Joshi, Deputy Mayor for Health and Human Services Anne Williams-Isom, and Deputy Mayor for Communications Fabien Levy are all planning to resign to protest asshole Mayor Eric Adams’s sale of his soul to the Satanic forces of the MAGA Reich, the New York Daily News reports.

The first three had planned to announce and effect their departures this week then held off to do it in a more controlled manner, but sources stressed that it was a matter of “when not if” they quit.

“Levy didn’t return calls and texts Monday,” the Daily News writes. Some communications guy, lol.

Yes dummy. I think there’s a difference between not giving a reporter a seat in the WH press briefing room and jailing people for dissenting views. The latter is a threat to free speech, the former is not. Hope that helps!

— JD Vance (@JDVance) February 17, 2025

Investors in Chinese search engine Baidu lost $2.4 billion on Monday after the stock price dropped because founder/CEO Robin Li was not seen at a meeting with Communist overlord Xi Jingping attended by other chieftains Alibaba’s Jack Ma and Huawei’s Ren Zhengfei, Reuters reports.

Li was not seen in media coverage of the meeting. He could’ve been in the men’s room taking a piss when whatever images of it surfaced or stuck in traffic on the ground or in the air or something and still the traders just freaked out and killed 8 percent of the company’s value. So whether or not Li was actually there (Reuters says sources told them that there was “no sign” of him at the sit-down in Beijing, but the selloff began even before they got that tip) he could probably turn things around quick by renaming the Pacific Ocean to the Gulf of China on Baidu maps.

Convicted felon President Trump’s regime is pressuring Romania’s government to allow credibly accused sex traffickers Andrew and Tristan Tate to travel to the US so the right wing influencers can be granted asylum or who the hell knows what kind of shit they’ll pull, the Financial Times reports.

Sources say the matter was first brought up in a phone call and then in a conversation between Dick Grenell and Romanian Foreign Minister Emil Hurezeanu. A spokesman for the ministry refused to comment on the meeting specifically but said “Romanian courts are independent and operate based on the law, there is due process.” Grenell’s been ranting on Twitter that the prosecution against the two was somehow funded with USAID grants so right there’s the justification for this shitbaggery.

On a very related note, had meant to pick this up earlier this month but plate got too full with all this batshittery going on: The Bulwark’s migrant beat guy Adrian Carrasquilo wrote on February 5th that the Trump Regime were plotting to do whatever they could to prevent a repeat of the horror stories and images spreading like they did during the family separation shitshow his first failed term in an effort not to piss away the thin but real reserve of political capital they have to round people up.

“Trump’s team has deployed a massive public-relations effort to put a deeply patriotic gloss on their policy, with cabinet officials cosplaying as body-armor-wearing ICE agents and TV personalities being brought along during the agency’s raids. They’re also trying to condition supporters and the public to not go wobbly when troubling footage does inevitably surface,” Carrasquilo wrote. He then cited a reply to a video of shitbag podcaster Theo Von laughing about someone being deported about the effort as epitomizing the nervousness in the MAGAverse. “We’re going to have to suck it up, it’s really going to get tough. They will tug at our emotions. Stand strong, America! It’s for the greater good,” a woman wrote, later deleting the comment for reasons unclear.

A Saturday evening Facebook post by the Mukilteo, Washington Police Department asks “Do you know who did this??? On 02-15-2025, possibly sometime between 6:30p and 7:20p, an unknown individual or group of individuals destroyed the men’s bathroom at Lighthouse Park. If you have any information regarding this incident, please contact the Mukilteo Police Department and reference 25-03148,” accompanied by a photo of the absolutely heinous act of destruction to the facility.

The department could and probably should have used “vandalized” rather than “destroyed” to describe the scene in which the stalls were apparently kicked down and the windows smashed.

“Congresswoman Claudia Tenney (NY-24) today introduced the Trump’s Birthday and Flag Day Holiday Establishment Act to officially designate June 14 as a federal holiday to commemorate President Donald J Trump’s Birthday and Flag Day. Born on June 14, 1946, President Donald J Trump’s birthday coincided with Flag Day, which is observed annually and recognizes the anniversary of the adoption of the Stars and Stripes as the official US flag in 1777.”

“This legislation would permanently codify a new federal holiday called ‘Trump’s Birthday and Flag Day’ on June 14 to honor this historic day. ‘No modern president has been more pivotal for our country than Donald J Trump. As both our 45th and 47th President, he is the most consequential President in modern American history, leading our country at a time of great international and domestic turmoil. From brokering the historic Abraham Accords to championing the largest tax relief package in American history, his impact on the nation is undeniable. Just as George Washington’s Birthday is codified as a federal holiday, this bill will add Trump’s Birthday to this list, recognizing him as the founder of America’s Golden Age. As our nation prepares to celebrate its 250th anniversary, we should create a new federal holiday honoring the American Flag and all that it represents.”

“By designating Trump’s Birthday and Flag Day as a federal holiday, we can ensure President Trump’s contributions to American greatness and the importance of the American Flag are forever enshrined into law,’ said Congresswoman Tenney,” says a press release from Tenney’s office about how hard she’s working to lower the price of eggs for voters in New York’s 24th District.

“It is my honor to nominate highly respected Edward R Martin, Jr, for the full and permanent term of United States Attorney for the District of Columbia [blah blah blah]. Since Inauguration Day, Ed has been doing a great job as Interim US Attorney, fighting tirelessly to restore Law and Order, and make our Nation’s Capital Safe and Beautiful Again. He will get the job done,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Monday in announcing his boss Elon Musk had nominated Martin, Musk’s personal enforcer, to continue at the job of vowing to neutralize any and every threat to his power.

“Any threats, confrontations, or other actions in any way that impact their work may break numerous laws. Let me assure you of this: we will pursue any and all legal action against anyone who impedes your work or threatens your people. We will not act like the previous administration who looked the other way as the Antifa and BLM rioters as well as thugs with guns trashed our capital city. We will protect DOGE and other workers no matter what,” Martin had vowed to Musk earlier this month.

“We are troubled and disappointed by the administration’s decision to fire FAA probationary employees PASS represents without cause nor based on performance or conduct. Several hundred employees have been impacted with messages being sent from an ‘exec order’ Microsoft email address, not an official .gov email address. Messages began arriving after 7 pm ET on February 14 and continued late into the night. It is possible that others will be notified over the weekend or literally barred from entering FAA buildings on Tuesday, February 18. These are not nameless, faceless bureaucrats. They are our family, friends and neighbors. They contribute to our communities. Many military veterans are among them. It is shameful to toss aside dedicated public servants who have chosen to work on behalf of their fellow Americans.”

“These employees were devoted to their jobs and the safety critical mission of the FAA. This draconian action will increase the workload and place new responsibilities on a workforce that is already stretched thin. This decision did not consider the staffing needs of the FAA, which is already challenged by understaffing. Staffing decisions should be based on an individual agency’s mission-critical needs. To do otherwise is dangerous when it comes to public safety. And it is especially unconscionable in the aftermath of three deadly aircraft accidents in the past month. The hastily made decision on Friday night did not focus on mission-critical needs and was harmful to employees,” says David Spero, of the Professional Aviation Safety Specialists, in a statement.

So all that shit from convicted felon President Trump about how the January 29 mid-air collision over the Potomac “tragically underscores the need to elevate safety and competence as the priority of the FAA” was just that and he’s making their job of keeping air travel safe harder.

…While AOC has never been a defender of free speech, principle demands something more from the rest of us who value the First Amendment. Just as VP Vance offered a powerful defense of free speech in Europe, this baseless threat undermines the high ground achieved in Munich.

— Jonathan Turley (@JonathanTurley) February 17, 2025

North Carolina MAGA insurrectionist David Daniel’s lawyer William Terpening tells the Wall Street Journal that, due to the wording of convicted felon President Trump’s pardon covering “offenses related to events that occurred at or near” the January 6th attack on the Capitol, his client was also pardoned for possession of child pornography because “pretty much all” of the evidence against him for that crime came from a raid on Daniel’s home on a warrant for his arrest over the riot.

“Anything that flowed from that case, given the pardon, should be excluded and inadmissible at trial,” said Terpening, who is not the only MAGA scumbag’s defense counsel putting forward this batshit argument. Floridian Daniel Ball, a convicted felon who did time for domestic battery by strangulation before the riot, was caught in possession of a gun and ammo when the feds effected his arrest. “I don’t see how they could in good faith say this case is not covered by the presidential proclamation, because it only came about because of the Jan 6 case,” said Ball’s attorney Amy Collins. Tennesseean Edward Kelley was found guilty in November of plotting to assassinate the FBI agents who investigated him after the riot and faces life in prison at sentencing in May, his lawyer is trying to get that conviction tossed on the same grounds. “In this instance, there can be no dispute that Kelley’s case in this court is related to the events of January 6th and is covered by the President’s executive action,” attorney Mark Brown wrote in a January 27 motion for dismissal.

A group of Argentinian lawyers on Sunday filed a criminal complaint against assclown “mini-Trump” President Javier Milei over a “rug pull” in which he tweeted about $LIBRA, some scam crypto coin that Milei claimed was aimed at “encouraging economic growth by funding small businesses and startups,” boosting its value only to delete it hours later prompting a quick collapse, the AP reports.

Jonatan Baldiviezo, one of the plaintiffs who signed onto the complaint, told the AP he and the other lawyers saw intent to commit “an indeterminate number of frauds,” adding “Within this illicit association, the crime of fraud was committed, in which the president’s actions were essential.”

The AP’s article says “Criminal justice is expected to assign a judge to the case or refer it to a prosecutor for further investigation on Monday,” leaving it not totally clear whether the complaint has legs or if it will go down a black hole like an FEC complaint in the US. Convicted felon President Trump pulled something very similar on his fanboys in the days after his return to power when he promoted a $TRUMP coin only for his third wife $MELANIA to do the same less than a day later. It’s suspected the fat fuck and his minions made at least $109 million in fees alone prior to its crash.

You’d be hard-pressed to find someone who doesn’t think xenomorphs are a problem. After all, the vicious, eusocial insect-like aliens have killed hundreds of thousands of colonists across the galaxy and cost billions in taxpayer dollars and in economic growth over the last few decades. Entire colonies have been wiped out, space stations infested, freight vessels destroyed as these nightmarish monsters propagate their hives whenever and wherever they can. Yet despite many resources devoted to halting their scourge our elected officials, local colonial administrators, and military leaders have shown time and time again that they just aren’t up to the job. Time and time again the government gets involved and the xenomorphs just end up ripping more people apart.

Take what happened on LV-426 in 2179 as a prime example of this gross incompetence. Now, no one’s blaming the colonists at Hadley’s Hope for failing to use proper precautions when someone told them to go investigate a set of coordinates. They were just simple folk living in a “shake and bake” colony, 60 or 70 families roughing it on the frontier while chasing the dream. Things happen out there on desolate rocks out in deep space and it was a tragedy that no one could have foreseen.

The response however was a complete embarrassment: A full squad of Colonial Marines, fully trained and equipped with the latest in technology and weaponry, were sent to investigate and within hours were massacred by the xenomorphs – 12 dead plus several civilians. Not to mention a multi-billion dollar atmosphere processor that exploded after the Marine squad’s female pilot, who was flying while distracted, crashed a drop ship into the reactor’s cooling vents. And then that idiot prison warden who was yelling really loudly at inmates right under an open air vent.

Enough is enough. It’s time to bring in a trusted private sector name to defeat the xenomorphs.

Convicted felon President Trump’s scumbag lawyers on Sunday submitted the first of what will no doubt be dozens, maybe hundreds, of petitions to the US Supreme Court, this one seeking to overturn a lower court’s temporary injunction issued against the firing of ethics watchdog Hampton Dellinger, Bloomberg reports. “This court should not allow lower courts to seize executive power by dictating to the president how long he must continue employing an agency head against his will,” wrote Solicitor General Sarah Harris in the Supreme Court filing.