“ELON IS DOING A GREAT JOB, BUT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE HIM GET MORE AGGRESSIVE. REMEMBER, WE HAVE A COUNTRY TO SAVE, BUT ULTIMATELY, TO MAKE GREATER THAN EVER BEFORE. MAGA!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Saturday morning in the middle of an all-caps binge. He forgets his place, groveling at the feet of the true overlord.

“MSNBC, COMMONLY KNOWN AS MSDNC, IS A THREAT TO OUR DEMOCRACY. SUCH LYING AND MISREPRESENTATION. BAD PEOPLE AT THE TOP!” and “OUR SOUTHERN BORDER IS CLOSED!!!” the fat fuck also posted, apparently pumped up with extra Adderall ahead of his CPAC speech.

“This bill establishes the ‘Save MO Babies Act’, establishing within the Department of Social Services the Division of Maternal and Child Resources, which has the purpose of coordinating and applying for services for expecting mothers who wish to place their baby for adoption and placing such babies for adoption with fit and proper adoptive parents,” says the text to Missouri state House Bill 807 as introduced last month by Republican state Representative Phil Amato.

“Additional powers, duties, and functions as they relate to the Division’s purpose are specified in the bill. Relevant sections of existing law governing the Department’s Family Support and Children’s Divisions are updated to include the Division of Maternal and Child Resources. The Division is required to establish a ‘Missouri Adoptive Resources Services System’ for the entire state, the function of which is to promote the safe and healthy birth of children in the state through the utilization of existing resources; coordinate community resources and provide assistance or services to expecting mothers identified to be at risk for seeking abortion services; and prevent abortions through the adoption of children by fit and proper adoptive parents. The Division is required to make and maintain a central registry of each expecting mother who is at risk for seeking an abortion and a central registry of each prospective adoptive parent” and blah blah blah the whole thing is larded with way more “adoption” shit as to obscure the real purpose of this bill.

Why spend $100,000+ and at least a month in Nepal getting acclimated to the altitude when you can watch (fictionalized version of) other people dying horribly of hypothermia and hypoxia in the comfort of your own home? Now Everest is okay, though short of spectacular. It’s easy to appreciate the whole based on a true story thing, but it’s maybe just a shade too boring and janky plot-wise.

They could’ve gone with “inspired by a true story” and made it better. However the part where the storm blows in on Jason Clarke and John Hawkes’s characters just below the summit, where the lightning cracks and the fucking cloudburst comes UP at them is freaking awesome. Just spectacular CGI design and execution in showing what happened to these poor bastards.

Of course if you want really too high up scary check out The Summit. The story of a similarly doomed expedition to K2, the world’s second highest mountain (and per capita deadlier than Everest) is free on YouTube but impossible to put here since those pants-pissing wieners won’t let other sites embed R-rated movies.

“At approximately 6:42 pm on Thursday, February 20, 2025 the New Hampshire Fish and Game Department received a call for two hikers in waist deep snow needing assistance. The hikers called for help while making a 7-mile loop on Mount Moosilauke and were on the Snapper Trail.”

“Without snowshoes or headlamps they were having trouble navigating the trail and their cell phones had low batteries. During the initial call with a Conservation Officer, the hikers’ cell phone batteries died and all contact was lost. Conservation Officers responded to Mount Moosilauke and began a rescue mission for the hikers. At approximately 7:45 p.m. another 911 call was received. The hikers located a battery charger in their pack and were able to charge a cell phone and a light. They had also made it to a more packed out hiking trail and were trying to self-rescue.”

“Conservation Officers located the pair near the Ravine Lodge at 8:38 pm. The hikers were identified as Adrian Colon, 17, and Andrew Lucier, 18, both of Auburn, Massachusetts. The pair started their hike at 1:00 pm and had warm gear for winter hiking but failed to bring snowshoes or headlamps which would have prevented the rescue call,” said the New Hampshire Fish and Game Department in a news release which might as well be calling them “dumb fucking Masshole city kids.”

“Area CBP agriculture specialists issued 16 civil penalties totaling almost $4,000 linked to the attempted smuggling of prohibited agriculture and food products including raw eggs. Travelers need to be aware that raw egg imports from Mexico are prohibited. Since January area CBP officers have encountered more than 90 people attempting to import raw eggs from Mexico. Importation of raw/fresh eggs into United States is generally prohibited due to concerns about diseases such as Highly Pathogenic Avian Influenza HPAI and Virulent Newcastle disease ND. Travelers are prohibited to bring in fresh eggs, raw chicken, unprocessed avian products and/or live birds into the United States. Travelers are encouraged to declare all agriculture products to CBP officers and Agriculture Specialists, failure to declare may lead to potential fines and penalties,” says a CBP bulletin from Friday on the most Trump Era-thing ever. Or the most Trump Era-thing so far this week.

Actually maybe the most Trump Era-thing this week is this moron Fox News anchor trying to downplay it to Dem Senator Ruben Gallego by saying the eggs might be contaminated somehow, only for him to shoot back and point out that Elon Musk fired all the inspectors.

Acting ICE Director Caleb Vitello has failed Emperor Trumpaltine and his loyal enforcer Darth Homan for the last time, as NBC News reports that the underling has been removed from the top job amid the fat fuck’s frustrations over the slowing pace of arrests and deportations.

Like the other two hapless assholes who were sent back to their former jobs, Vitello was not fired altogether or taken to the gravel pit by DHS Secretary Noem, but was demoted back to his previous post overseeing the agency’s arrests, targeting, and field operations.

Damn, just a day too late on that monthly “scorecard“: The Dow Jones Industrial Average closed Friday at 43,428.02 per CNBC, just slightly below the 43,487.83 close on January 20th, but down more than 1,200 points in just two days as investors started pricing in a Trump presidency for real.

In a statement to the New York Post, “Iranians for Trump” co-founder Sarah Raviani says that when she called the cops on MAGA Florida Congressman Cory Mills on Wednesday, she had “reached out to law enforcement to address a personal matter. Several factors influenced my decision to involve the authorities. I had just returned from a 14-hour flight, severely jet-lagged and sleep-deprived.”

Okayyyyy. “Additionally, I had been drinking during my vacation and had a drink in front of me when the officers arrived, which contributed to my emotional state. Upon their arrival, they noticed some bruising and marks on my arms, which I explained were the result of medical conditions like eczema and activities from my recent trip to Dubai. While the personal matter in question was emotionally charged, there was no physical altercation. Regrettably, the situation has since been misrepresented by reporters and led to relentless harassment from various sources. Words have been taken out of context, and my privacy is being disregarded. This is a deeply personal matter that is being unfairly exploited for political purposes or other motives,” Raviani, 27, continued in the statement.

Lot to unpack here. First off that is not Mills’s wife who, worth noting here, is an Iraqi refugee. Some folks tend to gravitate towards certain “types,” and well, what kind of “personal matter” can one have with another woman’s husband? Second off, Politico has the same statement and while they did include the “jet-lagged” part, they did not print the entirety of a victim’s excuses for her accuser like the Post did here. Third off, who the fuck is “exploiting this for political purposes”? Is some Dem in Florida’s 7th District already firing up campaign ads here? Have some freaking self respect. Christ.

Oh and last off, Mills is still an incel, if only by the vibe he gives off, not to mention the fact that he would slap around a woman otherwise completely unattainable for him if not for being elected.

This just might not be real but the Drudge Report put it on their home page: French conservative weekly Le Point reports that sources tell them convicted felon President Trump will travel to Moscow for the May 9th victory parade celebrating the 80th anniversary of the Soviet Union’s win in the last major war on the European continent, though it’ll be obvious which one they’re actually high-fiving.

Le Point, translated by Google: “On May 9, according to our sources, there should be a major guest in the Moscow stands: Donald Trump, alongside Vladimir Putin. On May 9, 2025, what victory would Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump celebrate? Less that of the Allies of 1945 than their common one in the peace negotiations on Ukraine, which the Kellog Plan predicts will end on… May 9. If all goes well for them, for their common plan, May 9, 2025 will mark their triumph, the triumph above all of Putin, who will thus see his initial comparison of Ukraine with the Nazis corroborated and endorsed. Let us never forget this argument about ‘Nazi Ukraine’ which had justified in Putin’s eyes his war. Thus, according to him, 80 years after having triumphed over the Nazis, we triumph over other Nazis!”

The Proud Boys and Oath Keepers’ joint “Our House” demonstration at the US Capitol on Friday went great, as the USCP arrested former Boys leader Enrique Tarrio for what Politico’s Kyle Cheney reports “for swiping his hand at a counterprotester who got in his face,” with a pic of Tarrio in cuffs.

Refusing to get jabbed with some cockamamie Faucist Frankenstein clot shot or zapped with electricity that could potentially have come from woke renewable green energy, red-blooded patriot South Carolinian Brad Sigmon on Friday instead chose to celebrate America’s unique protections under the Second Amendment, selecting a firing squad for his March 7th execution, the AP reports.

In a statement, Sigmon’s attorney Gerald “Bo” King said his client didn’t pick the electric chair because it would “burn and cook him alive. But the alternative is just as monstrous. If he chose lethal injection, he risked the prolonged death suffered by all three of the men South Carolina has executed since September – three men Brad knew and cared for – who remained alive, strapped to a gurney, for more than twenty minutes,” which would still be cleaner than the savage 2001 baseball bat murder of his then-girlfriend’s parents before kidnapping her and shooting at her as she fled.

Sigmon, 67, will request clemency from Gov Henry McMaster, something the AP notes is unlikely given that the condemned in the Palmetto State have gone 0 for 46 since the death penalty was reinstated in 1976. In the next sentence they write the state “spent about $54,000 in 2022 constructing an area for a firing squad in its death chamber.” Gotta justify that to taxpayers.

Delaying his call on whether to proceed with the Trump Regime’s motion to dismiss the case against dickhead New York City Mayor Eric Adams, Judge Dale Ho on Friday instead adjourned the trial indefinitely and informed the parties that “to assist with its decision-making via an adversarial process, the Court exercises its inherent authority to appoint Paul Clement of Clement and Murphy PLLC as amicus curiae to present arguments on the Government’s Motion to Dismiss. The Court expresses its gratitude to Mr Clement for his service and will provide Mr Clement a copy of this Order and the transcript from the February 19 conference.” Politico’s Josh Gerstein says Clement is a conservative who formerly served as Solicitor General during the Bush Administration.

Convicted felon President Trump on Friday acknowledged that his Agriculture Secretary better figure out the egg thing fast, because they might have to start taking responsibility for that, but that there will be other things he and Republicans can blame other people for.

The above is not a verbatim quote but it’s pretty close to what the fat fuck actually said.

Neckbeard-y, incel-ish Florida MAGA Congressman Cory Mills is under DC Metro Police investigation for an assault that occurred at a residence somewhere in the vicinity of the White House on Wednesday afternoon, sources tell NOTUS. No further details were available though cops did confirm the investigation. “Once MPD leadership became aware of this matter there was an immediate review of our initial response to ensure all procedures were followed. MPD’s Internal Affairs Bureau is currently investigating this matter,” they said in a statement.

Mills is scheduled to speak at CPAC and is apparently still on the schedule. In related-ish news, French far right leader Jordan Bardella is not. He canceled his speech after twice-convicted felon white nationalist alcoholic Steve Bannon threw a Hitler salute on Thursday night.

It appears that Texas MAGA Congressman Ronny “Dr Feelgood” Jackson is a subscriber to Paramount+, the streaming service jam-packed with hit exclusive series like Yellowstone, its prequels 1883 and 1923, NCIS, NCIS: Hawaii, NCIS: Australia (awesome choices for a Navy man like Jackson), FBI, FBI: International, the all-new pulse-pounding original streaming-only movie Star Trek: Section 31, starring Michelle Yeoh, action-comedy Sonic The Hedgehog, as well as family hits like PAW Patrol: The Mighty Movie, Boss Baby: Family Business (Alec Baldwin as the voice of a baby! What a hoot!), and Henry Danger: The Movie, based on the hit Nickelodeon series, to name just a few options the bottomless value that Paramount+ provides to TV watchers.

Like most people, Jackson definitely didn’t read the fine print on the Paramount+ terms of service when he signed up. After all, who really cares about a bunch of boring jargon like, for example, the part specifying users are bound to arbitration if they file a lawsuit against Paramount or any of its subsidiaries. But who can blame them? It’s a subscription that costs $12.99 a month, not a mortgage or a car loan or an insurance policy or anything actually impactful on one’s life and finances. The clause is there simply in case some Trekkie sues for $1.26 billion because he thinks Section 31 stole its script from some fan fiction he wrote and Paramount screws up and forgets to send a lawyer to the hearing ending in a default judgment. Don’t laugh, that happened to Pepsi.

Eternal enemies by their very nature, Florida man and alligator-kind are locked in a ceaseless cycle of violence destines to continue for as long as Florida still exists. So it could be like 75 more years. Nevertheless there was the briefest of amities on Wednesday when a Florida man took pity on one of the reptiles, an act of kindness that still could have cost the man a limb or two.

“I saw on our local Facebook page here for Ave Maria that someone had made a post about the alligator with the football stuck in his mouth. So I came over here, and I thought, perhaps I might have a little plan. If I could get close enough to it, I might be able to pop the football with a knife, deflate it so the gator could then just spit it out. Move on,” Collier County man Rick Green told WSVN of the possibly alcohol-related confrontation. “But I tried to get close to him, and he just wouldn’t let me anywhere close to him. So I told the wife about the plan, and she hated it.”

It’s not entirely clear from the article what actually happened next, but one way or another Green left with the football, still inflated and, more importantly, both hands and all fingers. The alligator swam off, its jaws free again unencumbered from chomping down on the limbs of another Floridian.

“Democrats, run by broken down losers like James Carville, whose weak of mind and body, are going crazy, and just don’t know what to do. They have lost their confidence and spirit – They have lost their minds! We are going to have big WINS for our Country, and MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN. It’s already happening, and will get bigger and better than ever before!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Friday and you’d be like “Whoa, James Carville must’ve been suicidal during a TV hit for Trump to react like that. Had to be awful,” if all you saw was this post.

Carville on Thursday told Sean Hannity that “more deficit has accumulated under Donald Trump than any other president in American history. But I’m glad that you’re on the fiscal responsibility bandwagon. I’m glad you’re on the bandwagon of Bill Clinton being able to balance the budget and bring unbelievable prosperity to America.” So that probably pissed Donald off.

CNN should really clean up after themselves… https://t.co/uOkrpkhEvE

— Pete Hegseth (@PeteHegseth) February 21, 2025

Wow, looks like CNN’s execs are already seeing the return on their attempts to curry favor with the Trump Administration by forcing now-former White House correspondent Jim Acosta out the door by shifting him to a 1:00 AM time slot or whatever it was that precipitated him quitting. And they got some public acknowledgement from top officials for being willing to play ball to maintain access.

That David Zaslav definitely has some secret sauce in him. He should think about running for office.