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Regime releases 162 boring UFO files

In what few had anticipated to be an actual groundbreaking, mindblowing disclosure effort, the Trump Regime on Friday dropped a batch of 162 previously classified UFO-related materials from the military and the FBI, a lot of it subject to heavy redactions and honestly pretty boring.

A 2001 State Department cable reading “On October 28-29, there was an incident alleged by the Georgian Foreign Ministry that Russian aircraft had violated Georgian airspace and bombed areas of the Kodori Gorge. Russians denied any of the claims and said that it could have been UFOs. Cable authors note that Russians typically engage in the ‘bold lie’ when they wish to conceal actions,” is how banal this gets. Next they’ll tell us Jimmy Carter saw a UFO once in the 1960s.

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“That bitch”

It was too late in the day for grandpa to be handling questions from ABC’s Rachel Scott, who the old man called “that bitch” to Interior Secretary Doug Burgum, who laughed on Thursday.

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Lula leaves White House without scheduled joint media hit

Brazilian President Luiz Lula on Thursday left the White House more than three hours after an unexplained and unannounced hiatus of a scheduled 11:15 AM joint media availability in the Oval Office with convicted felon President Trump, News Nation reports via clip guy Aaron Rupar.

Shorty after that the fat bastard’s Truth Social account posted “Just concluded my meeting with Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva, the very dynamic President of Brazil. We discussed many topics, including Trade and, specifically, Tariffs. The meeting went very well. Our Representatives are scheduled to get together to discuss certain key elements. Additional meetings will be scheduled over the coming months, as necessary,” the correct spelling and punctuation raising more questions than answers.

Especially the “á” in “Inácio.” That there is one hell of a tell that something is up. Doesn’t necessarily mean anything actually serious – but if it is then you can bet it will leak sooner rather than later.

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Supreme Court to testify at Senate hearing on May 20th

All nine Supreme Court justices will testify at a Senate Appropriations Committee hearing on May 20th, per Punchbowl’s Samantha Handler. The purpose ostensibly is to talk about their request for increased security funding but, well, even that scope probably opens the door to other questions.

Uncomfortable questions they might just not really feel like answering publicly in front of cameras.

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Lower-profile MAGA outlet airs the rage porn Fox News won’t

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Karoline, grandfatherly-aged husband welcome baby girl

Sociopathic liar White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, 28-ish, and her husband, 62-ish, welcomed a new baby girl on Thursday, Fox News reports on the blessed news. The baby, named Vivi, was born on Friday, three days after Karoline’s most recent press conference.

Congrats Karoline and prayers for Vivi, who hopefully won’t ever find out that her mom’s employer once tried to get her cousin’s mom deported out of mere capricious cruelty and it was only the media – that Karoline has a “combative” relationship with – who stopped it. For now.

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The Brainworm turns

Mentally ill raccoon dick fetishist Health and Human Services Robert F Kennedy Jr’s “allies in the administration” tell CNN that the whole “MAHA” shitshow has been curtailed ahead of the midterms and that Bobby is being “marginalized” by the Orange God Emperor. This as though Kennedy hadn’t already served his purpose – getting Trump elected in 2024 – so there’s no point in keeping him.

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Average gas price increase inches toward price Trump promised

Remember in 2024 when convicted felon President Trump promised Americans that if they saved him from dying in prison by returning him to power that gas would go down to $1.84 a gallon? What’s funny is that now not only is the current national average of $4.55 a gallon more than twice that historic sub-$2.00/gallon low – that he and his fanboys failed to mention was during the economic nadir of the 2020 COVID-19 pandemic – but the spike from the so-so $2.98 per gallon prior to his moronic attack on Iran is perilously close to the $1.84 he said Kamala Harris could never deliver.

Yup. At +$1.57 the increase is damn close to the total amount Trump promised to Americans.

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Tim Scott says he thinks “there is a good chance that we will be able to expand the majority if everything goes our way”

Senate Republican campaign chief Tim Scott tells the Washington Post he’s feeling good about hanging onto the majority provided that gas prices go down and the party starts campaigning on its accomplishments. The Post did not print any of the accomplishments in the article, probably because he did not rattle any off but this is what Scott said. “I think there is a good chance that we will be able to expand the majority if everything goes our way,” Scott added, accurately summarizing how probabilities function as a variable in determining the outcome of a workflow.

Top Republican PAC Senate Leadership fund chief Alex Latcham said Dems taking the majority in the November is the “equivalent to pitching a perfect game and hitting a grand slam at the end,” whilst failing to mention preventing that relies on fielding an actual team rather than a tee-ball squad.

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Concern Lady admits to neurological condition

Republican Senator Susan Collins tells NewsCenter Maine she has “an extremely common condition that is called a benign essential tremor. I have had it for the entire time that I have served in the United States Senate. It has absolutely no impact on my ability to do my job or on how I feel each day,” which sucks and isn’t the best thing to come out during a particularly tough election year.

“If you talk to anybody in Washington, they will tell you that I am the hardest working person that they have ever worked with, and the fact is I’ve never missed a single vote in all the time that I’ve been honored to represent the people of Maine. I think that’s pretty good evidence of the fact that I am blessed with great health,” Collins continued with all the reasons for non-concern.

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