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Surgeon General nominee Rube Goldberg-icided her dad in 1990

Dr Janette Nesheiwat, convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s nominee to serve as the US Surgeon General has an interesting family background in that she kind of accidentally killed her father at age 13 in a very Florida-esque way, according to a February 1990 police report viewed by the Guardian.

“I was in Father’s bedroom at about 7:15 AM getting some scissors” out of a fishing tackle box on a shelf above her dad’s bed, she said, according to a Umatilla, Florida Police Department report on the death of Ziad “Ben” Nesheiwat. “I opened the… box and the whole thing tipped over,” causing a handgun to fall out, discharge, and hit Ben in the head while he was still sleeping that morning.

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Nevada commissioner tosses Murdoch bid to alter family trust

A Nevada commissioner on Monday tossed nonagenarian propaganda tycoon Rupert Murdoch’s bid to give his extremist son Lachlan sole control of the media empire and to lock in its right wing bent when the old man finally kicks it, the New York Times reports on another reason to look forward to it.

What happened is this: At some point over the last few decades, Murdoch set up the family trust to give each of three of his older kids – Lachlan, James, and Elisabeth – an equal say over what happens to Fox News, the Wall Street Journal, the New York Post, and a shit ton of other media outlets across the globe when he dies. In recent years however, Lachlan won the “succession” battle and was anointed the favorite to continue Rupert’s legacy of spreading hateful disinformation.

The money part of this isn’t a factor, Rupert isn’t trying to cut any of them off from any inheritance. Instead it’s all about ideology and Rupert realized belatedly that he fucked up by signing off on the trust where Lachlan can now be outvoted by James and Elisabeth, who aren’t very MAGA. “If Mr Murdoch fails to lock in Lachlan’s leadership of the company, he will be unable to ensure that Fox News will remain a right-wing news outlet after his death, putting in jeopardy the legacy of the conservative empire he had spent his life building,” the Times writes, underscoring this.

The story gets even fucking nuttier, with the commissioner (not clear why it’s a commissioner and not a judge, but whatever) Ed Gorman, finding that it was an episode of the family’s roman à clef television series, Succession, in which the Murdoch-like character played by Scottish actor Brian Cox dies, leaving the media empire’s future uncertain, that prompted Lachlan to begin making moves against his siblings to the point where he an Rupert hired none other than former Attorney General Bill Barr to formulate a plan to prevent James from having a vote on Fox News’s direction.

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Tulsi doesn’t want to talk about her dude’s big loss

Deranged Hindu cultist and Trump intel nominee Tulsi Gabbard on Monday wasn’t in the mood to talk about her buddy Bashar Al-Assad fleeing to asylum in Russia over the weekend, ignoring a request for comment on the matter from CBS’s Scott MacFarlane as Gabbard walked between meetings with GOP Senators in the US Capitol. Might as well be asking a Jets fan how Sunday went.

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Luigi Mangione named in Thompson assassination

Police in Altoona, Pennsylvania have named 26 year-old Luigi Mangione as the person of interest in the assassination of United Healthcare CEO Brian Thompson, the New York Times reports.

Cops say Mangione – whose hometown/state is not clear yet – was carrying a manifesto criticizing health insurance companies when he was arrested at a McDonald’s location in the rust belt city.

A Twitter profile with the same name and a profile pic does not at all rule him out to be the “person of interest” in the photos distributed by the NYPD (his pinned post about delivering a speech at his high school graduation in 2015 also lines up with this age being 26) appears to be a fan of Peter Thiel, Robert F Kennedy Jr, Joe Rogan, Edward Snowden, and Patrick Bet-David.

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Arby’s employee killed in the line of duty after trying to kill cop

“On December 7th, 2024 at approximately 11:18 PM, Sergeant Noah Kocher and Officer Dominic Ewing went to Arby’s Restaurant, 234 Mansfield Ave, to attempt to serve a warrant on Tyler Jacobs out of Shelby Municipal Court. While making initial contact with Jacobs and advising him of the warrant, Jacobs stabbed Sgt Kocher in the neck with a knife. Sgt Kocher was able to create physical distance from Jacobs, who then ran toward Sgt Kocher with knife still in hand. Sgt Kocher was able to draw his duty weapon and fire at and strike Jacobs,” says a Shelby, Ohio Police press release:

“Officer Ewing, who had been covering the back door of the restaurant made immediate entry and provided aid to Sergeant Kocher and provided critical aid to Jacobs. Sergeant Kocher and Jacobs were both transported to the hospital by Shelby Fire. Sgt Kocher is in stable condition, Jacobs succumbed to his wounds. Ohio BCI was requested to investigate the officer involved shooting and to process the scene,” the press release continued, having left out an important detail that you can draw from both the bodycam video of the fatal encounter – which is pretty freaking intense, though Jacobs getting pumped with lead is blurred out – and the fact that this Arby’s closes at 10:00 PM every day: Jacobs was an employee and walked out of the kitchen when he slashed the cop.

Say what you will about cops not having anything better to do than serve a freaking traffic court warrant on a guy – like why not catch him behind the wheel instead at least. On the same token, what was this white trash asshole thinking when he slashed a cop over a traffic court warrant?

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“Cause I love the Constitution, I’m an originalist, but…”

Fox News’s Monday morning panel had to self-temper their excitement over convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s stated plan to end birthright citizenship in the United States, with anchor Bill Hemmer calling it a “loophole” after former Trump Reichsminister of Information Kayleigh McEnany explained it’s likely to be a bit of a dead end given the text of the 14th Amendment. Anchor Dana Perino then said she was keeping the dream alive, even though she loves the Constitution and is an “originalist.” The clip ended before she did not at all explain to viewers what originalism means.

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Supreme Court turns away Trump Manhattan gag order petition

The US Supreme Court on Monday declined to grant certiorari to a petition brought by “Good Lawgic, LLC” (lol) against Manhattan Judge Juan Merchan over the gag order imposed on convicted felon President-Elect Trump last year over the charges in which a jury found him guilty on 34 counts of business fraud for failing to cover up his two minute sexual encounter with a pornstar in 2006.

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True crime TikTokers meh on helping find UHC CEO’s assassin

Top influencers in the online subculture of true crime theorists/crowdsourcers whose exploits include heroically identified hundreds of the MAGA terrorists who attacked the US Capitol on January 6, 2021 and less heroically – well downright pathetically – conducted themselves during the search for murdered white woman Gabby Petito as well as her piece of shit boyfriend until he self-canceled with a shotgun in a Florida swamp, and various degrees of useful contributions to law enforcement investigations in between, have for the most part decided to sit out the hunt for the assassin who murdered United Healthcare CEO Brian Thompson last week, NBC News reports.

“Absolutely fucking not,” said TikToker Savannah Sparks, whose beat is tracking down and the identities of people caught committing racist and/or criminal acts on videos. Sparks, who has worked with law enforcement in the past, says her 1.3 million followers have “concepts of thoughts and prayers. It’s, you know, claim denied on my prayers there,” rather than any motivation to help.

“I don’t have to encourage violence. I don’t have to condone violence by any means. But I also don’t have to help,” said “thatdaneshguy,” another true crime TikTok geek with 2 million followers. One Twitter user who initially used some open source Citibike API data to incorrectly advance a theory that the assassin had fled the scene on one of NYC’s ubiquitous rental bicycles took a lot of shit from others for trying to help the investigation. Another crime TikToker, Mike McWhorter, said the blowback against that one schmuck helped him read the room in the community. “If you’re seeing it in such a groundswell, I have to imagine that factors into some people’s decision,” McWhoter, who goes by TizzyEnt and has 6.7 million followers, said. He added that mostly “there’s this weird thing, this vibe of like, I don’t see a bunch of people just feeling an urgency.” Heartbreaking, ain’t it?

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Yoon banned from leaving South Korea

A South Korean justice ministry official on Monday announced that conservative President Yoon Suk Yeol is prohibited from leaving the country following his fucking deranged attempt to impose martial law in response to political impasses and an investigation into his wife’s corruption, Reuters reports.

Whole lot of good that did him as, although the chickenshit worms in Yoon’s People Power Party blocked an impeachment resolution on Saturday, the Yonhap News Agency reports that the president is now under investigation for treason and the acting defense minister pledged that if Yoon tries it again the military will not be deploying troops. On top of all that, the PPP announced that Prime Minister Han Duck-soo would be the acting head of state when it comes to foreign affairs.

So yeah, Yoon’s pretty much fucked, but probably also too are the Korean people who at this point seem to be stuck with him until 2027. It might’ve been better for everyone if he were allowed to claim asylum in the US under the similarly dysfunctional Trump Administration next month.

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Fox News reports former nepo-hire on-air talent leaving current nepo-hire job amid speculation she’s going to be nepo-hired again

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MAGA think tanker not optimistic about ending 14th Amendment

Center for Immigration Studies Executive Director Mark Krikorian tells the Wall Street Journal he isn’t exactly optimistic about the chances for convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s bid to end birthright citizenship but says it’s worth a shot to just fuck everything up anyway.

“Force the issue and see what happens,” said Krikorian, who said the Supreme Court will probably stick with the current interpretation of the 14th Amendment per the 1898 case US v Wong Kim Ark, but that Team Orange are “going to want to start that court fight as soon as possible to see if they can see it through to the end before the administration ends.”

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Habba headed to the White House

“I am pleased to announce that Alina Habba will join my White House Team as Counselor to the President. Alina has been a tireless advocate for Justice, a fierce Defender of the Rule of Law, and an invaluable Advisor to my Campaign and Transition Team. She has been unwavering in her loyalty, and unmatched in her resolve – standing with me through numerous ‘trials,’ battles, and countless days in Court. Few understand the Weaponization of the ‘Injustice’ System better than Alina, who has fought relentlessly against the full force of Lawfare with courage and an unshakable commitment to Justice. As a first generation American of Middle Eastern Heritage, she has become a role model for women in Law and Politics, most recently being named Chaldean Woman of the Year. Congratulations to Alina, her husband Gregg, and her three beautiful children, Chloe, Luke, and Parker,” posted convicted felon President-Elect Trump on Sunday, informing you that yeah, your tax dollars are going to be cashing that crazy idiot Alina’s paycheck.

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Assad given villain’s welcome in Moscow

Now-deposed Syrian dictator Bashar Al-Assad landed in Moscow on Sunday and was granted asylum for what we guess will be a decade or two of writing his memoirs, drinking vodka, and taking long walks in the park while shadowed by FSB agents, the BBC reports, citing Russian state media.

Maybe it’ll be shorter and Putin will have Assad tossed out of a window in a few months. Who knows with these freaking scumbags. It’s worth wondering what if anything Putin feels like he owes Assad now that the quitter no longer has any practical use to the Kremlin strategically.

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Orange Fuhrer says he’ll deport citizens born to illegal immigrants

The fat fuck also claimed once again that he’s going to end birthright citizenship, floated again annexing both Canada and Mexico, said he can’t guarantee that his tariff plan won’t cause inflation to skyrocket, did guarantee that Biden would pardon all the members of the House January 6th Select Committee by saying they should all go to prison, continued to lie about the number of illegal immigrants who committed murder even after being corrected by NBC’s Kristen Welker, did not guarantee that he wouldn’t try to restrict abortion pills, gave conflicting answers on whether he would try to deport “Dreamers,” and a whole bunch of other shit in this long and rambly interview.

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Long Island Trekkie getting non-stop harassment for her nerd-dom

A Long Island Trekkie tells WCBS she has been enduring years of harassing mail, coming from all over the country, for having expressed her love for Gene Roddenberry’s science fiction universe.

The problem specifically for 76 year-old Huntington, New York retiree Beda Koorey is that her old license plate, one she turned in to the state DMV in 2020 when she stopped driving, bore the fictional registration number of the Captain James T Kirk-helmed USS Enterprise from the original Star Trek series and other subsequent TV and film installments from the franchise: NCC-1701, with the harassment coming in form of speeding, parking, and other automated, camera-issued tickets and drive-though toll bills sent by jurisdictions from all over the country recording violations by vehicles with fake, illegal versions of her former New York State license plate mounted on them.

“These came yesterday from Chicago, speeding tickets. They are $100 each… I got a phone call from Ohio, a police chief looking for plates because they were involved in a robbery,” said Koorey, who showed a reporter the pics of the plate mounted on the rear of various vehicles running red lights, speeding, blowing through EZ Pass toll gates, and a bill for $16,585.22 from the City of New York for unpaid parking and traffic violations. At least one of the tickets she’s received was from a violation by a motorcyclist. Koorey says she has never owned or rode a motorcycle.

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Syrian rebels in Damascus, searching for Assad

Sources tell CNN that fighters with the Syrian rebel coalition have entered the capital city of Damascus early Sunday local time with dictator Bashar Al-Assad’s situation deteriorating to the point where recon groups are actively searching for him as soliders reportedly walk off the job.

“I saw rebel fighters moving through the inner alleys of Barzeh toward Police Club Street, and I can hear very loud sounds of clashes. The electricity is cut off, and the internet is very weak, people are staying at their houses,” a local resident said. Another source said “militarily, Damascus has fallen,”

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“Why Is the Media Fixated on Pete Hegseth While Anderson Cooper Takes Shots Every NYE on CNN?” asks right wing site

“Liberal media outlets have recently turned their focus to smearing President-elect Donald Trump’s pick for defense secretary, Pete Hegseth, devoting significant time and energy to criticizing his casual beer-drinking habits, calling it ‘jarring.’ What should have been a celebratory moment for Hegseth and his family receiving the nomination from Trump has been blown out of proportion, with the left seizing on every opportunity to attack Hegseth for something so trivial. This relentless focus on his personal choices appears less about holding him accountable for any meaningful actions and more about attempting to discredit him through manufactured outrage to undermine Trump’s future cabinet,” says a piece published at right wing propaganda site TownHall.com on Friday.

Ughhhhhhhh… Apparently the name “Neera Tanden” doesn’t ring a bell if they want to talk about “something so trivial” but, as you can tell by the headline, it gets considerably fucking pettier.

Continues TownHall’s Sarah Arnold: “CNN ran several segments on Thursday highlighting a rare occurrence: Hegseth drinking beer during a Fox and Friends segment on St Patrick’s Day – one of the biggest drinking days of the year. The outlet highlighted a Washington Post article, which I covered, that claimed several former and current Fox News employees – all of which are ‘anonymous sources’ – have accused Hegseth of being drunk or drinking on the job. They pointed to an instance where the former news host enjoyed a few beers during its St Patrick’s Day special.”

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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