Congressman John Duarte was winning but after 22 days of counting ballots he is now losing by 105 votes.

Democrats are stealing another House seat!

Elections nationwide should be one day, paper ballots, and require proof of citizenship with ID!! https://t.co/erOpmddwhk

— Marjorie Taylor Greene 🇺🇸 (@mtgreenee) November 27, 2024

Ughhhhh, what a stupid dipshit. Fun fact that she nor any of her fellow MAGA conspiracy freaks understand: A majority of the House, 297 seats, still have a number of outstanding ballots to count in their races, per the New York Times . Of those 294 have been called and/or the loser conceded because the margin was larger than an estimated number of outstanding votes.

“Since 14 November 2019, we have been investigating alleged crimes committed during the 2016 and 2017 waves of violence in Rakhine State, Myanmar, and the subsequent exodus of Rohingya from Myanmar to Bangladesh. After an extensive, independent and impartial investigation, my Office has concluded that there are reasonable grounds to believe that Senior General and Acting President Min Aung Hlaing, Commander-in-Chief of the Myanmar Defence Services, bears criminal responsibility for the crimes against humanity of deportation and persecution of the Rohingya, committed in Myanmar, and in part in Bangladesh. My Office alleges that these crimes were committed between 25 August 2017 and 31 December 2017 by the armed forces of Myanmar, the Tatmadaw, supported by the national police, the border guard police, as well as non-Rohingya civilians,” said ICC Prosecutor Karim AA Khan KC in a statement on Wednesday.

Chinese Defense Minister Dong Jun, on the job for not even a year yet after his predecessor Li Shangfu was canned in October 2023 for unspecified acts of corruption, must’ve pissed someone off as now he’s in the same hot water for God knows what kind of scams, the Japan Times reports.

As with everything internal to dictator Xi Jingping’s regime the details are sketchy so it’s not clear if this is corruption or “corruption,” as the Times writes that the investigation “hints that Xi has expanded his probe into corruption in the [People’s Liberation Army] amid fears that it may not meet a 2027 deadline set by the Chinese leader that it be ready to invade Taiwan.” Then again it wouldn’t be surprising if this asshole was letting military hardware fall off the back of trucks or was bought off by the CIA. Pete Hegseth wouldn’t have the same problems if confirmed by the Senate.

San Francisco MAGA activist Ricci Wynne, known for serving as Fox News’s resident expert on the city’s drug and homelessness crises, was arrested Monday on suspicion of pimping and pandering as he stepped off a flight from Miami carrying $80,000 in cash, the San Francisco Standard reports.

Cops believe Wynne, who is on federal probation, was trafficking the 30 year-old woman he had been traveling with. Evidence seized from Wynne’s three cellphones and his luxury apartment on Fremont Street – where he had another $79,000 in cash – indicated that the supposedly former drug dealer turned Trump fan had been arranging “dates” with men either in the $5,500 a month apartment or on the road in places including Hawaii, Salt Lake City, and Las Vegas.

Wynne, who last appeared on Fox Business News’s Varney and Co in November 2023, had been nearing the end of a three year federal probation term imposed after doing two years in jail for drug and weapons charges over a 2019 Snapchat video in which he advertised a “cocaine buffet.”

Democrat challenger Adam Gray on Tuesday took a 105 vote lead against incumbent Republican California Congressman John Duarte, one of the “moderate” Quislings who won by an ass-hair in 2022, according to a New York Times update of the ridiculously protracted vote count.

In related good news, Dem Derek Tran also holds a fatter but still slim lead over other California Republican Congresswoman Michelle Steele in the 45th District. Both of these say “>95 percent of the vote in” but who the hell really knows how many ballots are actually still outstanding?

Not as good related news, Iowa 1st District Republican Mariannette Miller-Meeks holds an 800 vote lead over Dem challenger Christina Bohannan in the third remaining still-uncalled House race.

An Arizona man was captured on video jumping out of a moving roller coaster at an amusement park in Phoenix on Sunday, KNPX reports. Since it wasn’t Florida, the man was (apparently) not under the influence of alcohol or drugs and was actually jumping off in an act of self-preservation: His safety harness had failed while the train on the “Desert Storm” coaster was being cranked up to the top of its initial drop. Had the unnamed man not jumped off onto the emergency catwalk staircase with just seconds to spare before the drop, he could very well have been flung to his death on a hard turn or fallen out during one of the two upside-down loops on the large steel roller coaster’s course.

The man, who said he was there for a niece’s birthday party, was relieved it was his harness and not anyone else’s. “I think the worst part is having the kids there and knowing it could have been one of them. It shouldn’t cost your life to have fun,” the man said. He’s also extremely unhappy with park management, complaining that the operator “should have been watching that car and when she saw me climbing out she should have been able to hit an emergency release, should have been able to do something,” and that he filed a report with ownership but didn’t get a copy. “All amusement parks that basically have people lives in their hands need to be better regulated,” the man continued.

Yeah it was already kind of obvious who he voted for even before that part about regulation. It was the fact that he was sober at his niece’s birthday, was worried about kids being endangered by an actual threat to their safety, and demonstrated independent, critical thinking about the incident.

Canadian rapper Drake on Monday filed a lawsuit against his own record label, Universal Music Group, alleging the company used AI bots to boost the Spotify rankings of “Not Like Us,” a diss track in which fellow UMG artist Kendrick Lamar accused Drake of statutory rape, Variety reports.

Drake, real name Aubrey Drake Graham, who starred on the Canadian teen soap opera Degrassi for seven seasons before becoming a rapper, alleged that UMG “engaged in conduct designed to artificially inflate the popularity of ‘Not Like Us’… including by licensing the song at drastically reduced rates to Spotify and using ‘bots’ to generate the false impression that the song was more popular than it was in reality,” and arguing the whole scheme was a violation of the RICO act.

Maybe it’s that second paragraph in which you stopped asking yourself why the fuck National Zero picked up some douchebag rapper’s feud with another douchebag rapper as hip-hop is not even in our off-the-usual-beat wheelhouse and then thought “Oh yeah. Yeah this all sounds very familiar.”

Because damned if it doesn’t seem like some rich, entitled pussy who can’t take a punch turning to the legal system – and supplying zero actual evidence of the vast conspiracy to “rig” the system against him into court – is starting to catch on with other, similarly maladjusted, public figures.

Our Black Friday sale is coming soon! 🛍️

Grab all of your favorite merch for 25% off storewide starting Black Friday and ending Sunday, December 1. https://t.co/KnDTC7GBPx

— The Democrats (@TheDemocrats) November 26, 2024

Alcoholic shitbrain Rudy Giuliani on Tuesday erupted in a Manhattan federal court as a judge set a date for a trial to determine whether former Georgia election workers Ruby Freeman and Shae Moss can collect his Florida condo and four Yankees’ World Series wins, the AP reports.

The outburst came after District Judge Lewis Liman needled one of Rudy’s lawyers over what the hell his malfunction is when it comes to the Mercedes he still hasn’t handed over to the defamed mother-daughter duo yet. “Your client was the US attorney for this district,” said Liman, remarking on why Rudy seems incapable of producing an automotive title. Not for nothing, but has this judge ever watched an episode of Rudy’s podcasts? The guy’s out of his fucking mind and it’s a small miracle he showed up to court wearing clothes rather than polka-dot boxers.

Anyway the drunken former New York City mayor didn’t appreciate the judge giving him the benefit of the doubt, leaning forward into the mic to say that he had ordered another copy of the title. “The implication I’ve been not diligent about it is totally incorrect,” Giuliani said in what the AP describes as a “scolding tone” with the judge. “The implication you make is against me and every implication against me is wrong… I’m not impoverished. Everything I have is tied up. I don’t have a car. I don’t have a credit card. I don’t have cash. I can’t get to bank accounts that truly would be mine because they have put stop orders on, for example, my Social Security account, which they have no right to do,” even though Freeman and Moss actually kind of do since Rudy owes them $147 million.

Farming industry lobbyists are praying for convicted felon President-Elect Trump to give their workforce a sweeping pass on the fat fuck’s promise of mass deportations given that as many as half of an estimated two million laborers in agriculture are undocumented, Reuters reports.

“We need the certainty, reliability and affordability of a workforce program and programs that are going to allow us to continue to deliver food from the farm to the table,” said John Hollay, director of government relations at the International Fresh Produce Association, a lobbying cartel. Hollay and others commenting for the Reuters and a similar Los Angeles Times story urged for the new Trump Reich to expand the H2-A via program that allows farms to hire seasonal foreign labor.

“Most farmers are realizing that they’re going to need to implement the H-2A program at some level to assure that they have labor,” said Steve Scaroni, founder of FreshHarvest, a recruiting firm for guest workers. “Because we just don’t know what the deportation is going to look like.”

Do they also have any fucking idea what the H-2A program is going to look like? Seriously, they’re counting on whatever office at INS that runs it still being there in six months when, at a moment’s notice, Stephen Miller could just get Trump to fire everyone who works on processing those visas, killing it off by default without having to bother with any legal or legislative work. This is how most of these lobbyists are comforting themselves. The LA Times describes California farmers, a pro-Trump demo, as similarly not “railing in protest” of the promised raids and roundups. “Many say they expect the president will support their workforce needs, either through a robust legalization program for workers already here or by leaving farms be and focusing enforcement elsewhere,” the Times writes.

Trump's pick for Surgeon General, Janette Nesheiwat, promoted masking children. Is this who we want? pic.twitter.com/FKSJwBjEJ3

— Dinesh D'Souza (@DineshDSouza) November 26, 2024

Looks like having recommended children wear masks to prevent them from getting infected with COVID-19 is more likely to disqualify a nominee from serving in the Trump Administration than being credibly accused of having raped a woman in hotel room and having white nationalist tattoos.

And at first that looks like a sarcastic or hyperbolic rejoinder but actually no. It’s really what Dinesh said, if simply by omission. He really has a bigger issue with the masks than he does the rape and the Nazi shit. Whether or not he realized it before posting this is anyone’s guess, but it’s quite possible this was the one single clip of Nesheiwat promoting masking he could find and there was no way to do it without Pete Hegseth’s chiseled Aryan face appearing in it too.

In a stunning win for the real America, gargantuan national retailer Walmart on Tuesday announced they were giving up on promoting diversity, equity, and inclusion in the workplace, the Washington Examiner reports on more dirt being shoveled gleefully onto corporate wokeness’s coffin.

“The retailer employs 1.6 million people and will become the largest company in the United States to eliminate its DEI programs. Walmart will no longer refer to a prominent LGBT rights index to help with hiring decisions, it will stop prioritizing suppliers based on diversity, and it won’t continue to use the phrase ‘DEI,'” the Examiner writes. No more LGBT rights index, no more use of “DEI.” Checkmate libs.

It’s not clear however whether employees can call coworkers and customers by the N-word, the bundle of sticks word for gay men, the S-word for Latinos, “retard,” any of the various slurs for people of East Asian descent, “hook-nosed” to refer to Jews, and so on without fear of being fired by management. Our guess is probably not though. In fact saying any of those things even without referring to anyone in particular in almost all circumstances will probably result in termination.

Also a pretty safe bet that if anyone is caught hanging a noose in a Black coworker’s locker or making a swastika out of electrical tape and putting it on a Jewish coworker’s vest would also likely be immediately dismissed, possibly even banned from the store for life. All of this is to raise the question of what the anti-DEI crusaders think they’ve won here. Sure they’ve trimmed a lot out of the HR handbook and probably saved the average employee from an hour or two of having to sit through some “sensitivity training,” but is the spirit of the letters “DEI” truly dead here? Can a 46 year-old white man safely wear a Klan hood to work collecting shopping carts in the parking lot?

Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum on Tuesday told reporters her government will respond in-kind to convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s threat to impose 25 percent tariffs on all imports from the US’s southern neighbor by imposing tariffs of her own, per Reporte Indigo.

“It is not with threats or tariffs that we will address the migration phenomenon, or drug consumption in the United States, what is required is cooperation and mutual understanding to face these great challenges. One tariff will be followed by another in response, and so on until we put common enterprises at risk,” said Sheinbaum, plainly ready to help Trump find out if he fucks around.

Oh baby. https://t.co/DD8LKbAYEQ

— Breitbart News (@BreitbartNews) November 26, 2024

A new Harris/Guardian survey finds 69 percent of respondents understand that convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s plan to implement tariffs will inflict higher prices on Americans. By partisanship, 79 percent of Dem and 68 percent of independent respondents get it, with of course a lower number – but still a majority at 59 percent – of Republicans realizing what’s about to happen.

Overall nearly the same percentage, 62 percent, of respondents said that tariffs will have a significant effect on what they can afford in 2025. Another 44 percent said they’re making big purchases now so they don’t have to pay more when the second Trump Reich comes to power.

The Chinese Embassy in DC on Monday warned that convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s stated intent to impose a 35 percent tariff on all exports would be disastrous, Reuters reports.

“About the issue of US tariffs on China, China believes that China-US economic and trade cooperation is mutually beneficial in nature,” Chicom Embassy Spokesworm Liu Pengyu said in a statement. “No one will win a trade war or a tariff war,” Liu continued, adding “All these prove that the idea of China knowingly allowing fentanyl precursors to flow into the United States runs completely counter to facts and reality,” in response to the fat fuck’s deranged post on Monday evening claiming that the tariffs would stop fentanyl from being shipped out of China.

Trump wrote that “China told me that they would institute their maximum penalty, that of death, for any drug dealers caught doing this but, unfortunately, they never followed through, and drugs are pouring into our Country, mostly through Mexico, at levels never seen before. Until such time as they stop, we will be charging China an additional 10 percent Tariff, above any additional Tariffs, on all of their many products coming into the United States of America. Thank you for your attention to this matter,” and now finally the fucking media scrutinizes this stupid story he’s been telling for months.

An Akron, Ohio judge on Monday sentenced a man to 9 to 12 years in the joint for shooting another man in the face for refusing to share his potato chips, the Akron Beacon Journal reports on Melvin Wright’s next adventure after pleading guilty to attempted murder over the November 2023 incident.

The brand and specific flavor of potato chips was not mentioned in the article. Like of course it was excessive, because who the hell shoots someone else over goddamned potato chips? However, we’re talking about scale here. If it was just plain Ruffles then yeah, it was really excessive. Those are greasy as hell and simply fuck up your mouth. Plain Lays too. Not as bad on your mouth but still just garbage. Either of those in BBQ flavor is just masking the shittiness. Sour cream and onion masks the shittiness too, however it does a much better job of it. Still can’t eat too many though.

Now if this was a bag of some “kettle chips” like Cape Cod or some other white people brand? Okay, it’s still attempted murder and a horrible crime to shoot a guy in the freaking face – excessive any way you slice it. Just maybe slightly less so. And then if there’s a sea salt plus malt vinegar flavor involved? It’s like 90, 95 percent as excessive as it would’ve been if it were Lays or Ruffles or Utz or, ugh, Wise as the baseline here. And 125 percent excessive if it was those fucking “Andy Capp Fries.”

Good God those suck. And technically those aren’t “chips” anyway unless you’re British. Oh and fuck those “Pop Chips.” Those are so goddamned lame it should’ve been an automatic life sentence.

The headline’s really not that much of an exaggeration. This very, very, just off-looking fella Tim Murtaugh on Monday insisted that convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s pending return to power is making Americans more open about their love for Christmas, solely based on the story of one freelance holiday decoration installer who told Murtaugh that business has been booming since November 6th… Not even sure what to write about that. If the guy just made it about simple fake-ass consumer confidence then that’s one stupid thing but why else would Christmas decorations start going up in November? Could it be due to something the next month? Holy shit.

DC Circuit Judge Tanya Chutkan on Monday dismissed the post-2020 election coup attempt case against convicted felon President-Elect Trump without prejudice, meaning that the prosecution can be revived. Whether an appellate court could override the prejudice aspect of the dismissal or if the statute of limitations can be tolled until 2029, we don’t know. That Chutkan granted Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith’s prejudice-free request would seem to indicate that the door would still be open to hauling a nearly 83 year-old bloated orange dementia patient into court.

Convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s lawyers are conducting their own internal investigation into whether other lawyer, indicted piece of shit Boris Epshteyn is selling access to their boss, somebody leaked to CNN so the message would get out and presumably Epshteyn could be knifed.

What the fuck, lol. The headline of the story is literally “Trump lawyers investigate allegations that top aide sought financial gain from influence with president-elect, sources say,” written as if this is something new and verboten inside the fat fuck’s crew of misfits and dipshits. Might as well be about Barry Bonds accusing Jose Canseco of using steroids for Christ’s sake. Michael Cohen testified that he raked in millions for doing basically nothing while billing it as “consulting” and everyone was like “Yeah, no shit Trump runs a tight ship of corruption and bribery.”

For those actually interested in the specifics, the accusation is that Epshteyn is shaking down some donor or whoever for $100,000 a month to get access to Trump. If anything that’s a piker rate and maybe Boris’s relative modesty is what so inflamed whoever leaked this. In all seriousness however, Epshteyn and Elon Musk have been butting heads lately so here’s CNN carrying the water for Ketamine Brain or someone in his faction of the Orange God Emperor’s court, maybe Don Jr and Eric.

There’s also the whole Russian-ness of this, and not just because Epshteyn’s a Russian immigrant. If you’re one of Putin’s guys you can fuck around all you want – until a rival gains his favor and accuses you of some transgression, real or imagined. Then you’re lucky if all that happens is your business gets appropriated. If not then you get tossed in the gulag – or out an upper-story window.