CALLING ALL PATRIOTS! WATCH LIVE from Washington DC on October 29th! HUGE RALLY FOR AMERICA! Let’s have a trial by combat peacefully, patriotically with Vice President Harris championing democracy against convicted felon former President Trump! BE THERE! WILL BE WILD!

Responding to some cultist who claimed “I want you to know that Puerto Rico stands behind you and Puerto Rico loves you,” at “roundtable” in Pennsylvania on Tuesday, convicted felon former President Trump unironically replied with “Well, we love it. I know it very well. And we help you through a lot of bad storms. I’ll tell you, we had some really bad ones. You remember you were there when I brought the hospital ship against everyone’s advice and we got it in there and took care of a lot of people. But I think no president’s done more for Puerto Rico than I have,” per Politico.

We guess it’s true if you count intentional malign neglect when the island was devastated by a massive hurricane in 2017 and nearly 3,000 US citizens died during and after the storm.

The US Supreme Court on Tuesday spiked phone sex freak Robert F Kennedy Jr’s petitions to chainsaw himself off the ballots in Michigan and Wisconsin. Neil Gorsuch was the only dissent.

The E Coli outbreak from delicious McDonald’s Quarter Pounders, which was barely a thing anyway because you have only one guy who died and you might even say “Gee, what if that guy wasn’t very healthy to begin with?” Because nobody even knows who he is. You have the media saying he died but nobody got to see the death certificate that said he died from eating a McDonald’s Quarter Pounder. The doctors didn’t say it. Nobody even knows what hospital this happened at. It’s crazy.

But now McDonald’s is saying that the outbreak is over which is a beautiful thing. It’s in this CNBC article. Lots of people like to eat McDonald’s and we can’t have the media saying that it’s bad and causes E Coli. You know E Coli, it’s so tiny you can’t even see it without a powerful microscope.

It’s got such a funny name too. E Coli… E Coli. They say its short for something but nobody not even the doctors know how to pronounce it. They say it affects elderly people, elderly people with heart problems, if they have other problems, that’s what it really affects, that’s it. In some states thousands of people – nobody young – below the age of 18, like nobody – they have a strong immune system – who knows? It’s an amazing thing – by the way, go eat at McDonald’s!

National Zero will resume our regular coverage after this important public health update affecting all regular consumers of McDonald’s Quarter Pounders and other menu options.

Convicted felon former President Trump’s asshole son Eric and scumbag son-in-law Jared Kushner, as well as President Joe Biden’s aides were among the targets of a Chicom hacking operation, the New York Times reports and no the commies didn’t dump anything on Wikileaks or whatever.

Eric Trump naturally blamed the Biden Administration in a statement to the Times, saying “Does this surprise anyone? Under Kamala and Biden, China has walked all over our country.”

Just over two years to the day after he bashed in Paul Pelosi’s skull with a hammer, San Francisco-area QAnon freak David DePape got bashed with a gavel as a California judge sentenced him to life in a state prison without the possibility of parole to be served after he gets out of a 30-year federal sentence for the attack, the Associated Press reports on the end to the shameful saga.

“The Miami-Dade County Elections Department is aware of the video circulating social media. The incident that occurred was due to human error. The worker forgot to lock the back of the truck and as they drove off, one sealed bin and one sealed bag fell out, containing already voted ballots from early voting. Thankfully, this was observed in real time by upstanding residents who did the right thing and turned the bin and bag into the police department. Upon arrival at the police department, elections staff verified all seals were intact and nothing was tampered with or damaged.”

“Once at the Elections Headquarters, all items were accounted for and all seals were again verified. While unintentional, the Elections Department has a zero tolerance for error and therefore the employee was terminated,” said the Miami-Dade, Florida County Elections Department after another MAGA freakout over “ballot tampering” from an innocuous incident of dumb truckery.

Latino radio host in Pennsylvania: It’s too late for Trump. I've heard it from my audience. He needed to say something right away and he hasn't done it by now. It’s too late. He can bring anybody he wants from Puerto Rico and it’s not gonna make a difference pic.twitter.com/JcknN9Y0rc

— Kamala HQ (@KamalaHQ) October 29, 2024

“Kamala is now running billboards near the Border advertising FREE Legal Services for Illegal Alien Criminals. When I win, the billboards are coming down, and Migrant Gangs are going home!” posted convicted felon former President Trump on Tuesday following his disastrous “press conference,” in which he took no questions. He probably saw some billboard that said “Preguntas imigracion? Llame 1-800-ABOGADO Ahora!” and thought it was from Harris’s campaign somehow.

The fat fuck also posted “To the Coptic Christian community living throughout the United States, I deeply admire your Steadfast Faith in God, Perseverance through Centuries of Persecution and Love for this Great Country. I am Counting on your support and vote to help uphold our shared Social and Family Values and continue to Make America Great Again!” as if he has any idea who Coptics are.

Florida MAGA federal Judge Aileen Cannon on Tuesday tossed the attempted Trump assassin who didn’t get killed at the scene, Ryan Routh’s bid to have her recused from his upcoming trial given her glaringly fucking obvious conflicts of interest with the intended victim of the crime.

“Defendant cites a series of factors which he believes, when viewed in their totality, create an appearance of partiality. None warrants recusal, whether examined individually or together. First, Defendant notes the historical fact that I was nominated to serve as a United States District Judge by the alleged victim in this case, former President Donald Trump, and later confirmed by the United States Senate. As Defendant correctly acknowledges, ‘this fact is by no means disqualifying.'”

“Indeed, it is understood that appointment to the bench by a litigant, or in this case by an alleged victim, does not, without more, ‘create in reasonable minds, with knowledge of all the relevant circumstances that a reasonable inquiry would disclose, a perception that [the judge’s] ability to carry out judicial responsibilities with integrity, impartiality, and competence would be impaired.’ This principle does not change because of the ‘unprecedented nature of this scenario,’ as Defendant notes, or because a judge’s rulings ‘are likely to face intense public scrutiny.’ Second, Defendant argues that recusal is warranted because former President Trump has made various public statements about me. As Defendant acknowledges, I have no control over what private citizens, members of the media, or public officials or candidates elect to say about me or my judicial rulings.”

“Nor am I concerned about the political consequences of my rulings or how those rulings might be viewed by ‘some in the media.’ I have never spoken to or met former President Trump except in connection with his required presence at an official judicial proceeding, through counsel,” Cannon wrote, pretending momentarily to be a dedicated public servant.

We are one week away from making history.

Vote for freedom.
Vote for opportunity.
Vote for your future.

Vote for Kamala Harris. https://t.co/tFANAE9Abz pic.twitter.com/igcf2DDksn

— Kamala For Nevada (@KamalaForNevada) October 29, 2024

A new set of CNN swing state surveys finds Vice President Kamala Harris leading convicted felon former President Trump 48 to 47 percent in Arizona while Nevada is reversed to Trump 48 to 47 percent. In Arizona, Harris leads 53 to 44 percent among the 55 percent of those saying they already voted while Trump leads 52 to 46 in banked votes in Nevada where 42 percent have voted.

A Pennsylvania MAGA federal judge on Tuesday tossed a lawsuit filed by Keystone MAGA Congressmen Guy Reschenthaler, Dan Meuser, Glenn Thompson, Lloyd Smucker, and Mike Kelly against Secretary of State Al Schmidt in which Schmucker, Thirdreichsenthaler, Meuloser, and the others sought to completely fuck over military members and other Pennsylvanians currently overseas out of voting via additional hurdles to “ensure legal compliance with federal and state law regarding the verification of voter registration applicants’ identity and eligibility before accepting and counting ballots,” under UOCAVA changes made two years ago that Trump freaked out over.

The ruling’s just another textbook example of MAGA bullshit failing to survive first contact with actual legal scrutiny. From the order by District Judge Chris Conner:

It should’ve been obvious which way this was going when Meuser couldn’t even justify it on CNN.

Texan Mary Howard-Elley, a hardcore Trump fan who says that only her Orange Messiah can protect America from the scourge of illegal immigration and that migrants are secretly voting in elections all the time, tells the Texas Tribune her voter registration was canceled and she almost couldn’t cast a ballot next week as the local clerk erroneously reported her as a non-citizen to the state.

The fuckup apparently happened when she responded to a jury summons by asking for an exemption because she needs to help take care of her grandchildren, but instead the clerk marked her as a non-citizen. “Who is allowing people to do this to United States citizens? I understand we have a problem with immigration, but come on now,” Howard-Elley told the Tribune.

Of course due to her whiteness, Howard-Elley’s voter registration was restored after media attention to the matter. “I just hope they don’t do this to anybody else ever again because it’s not fair.”

Whether the fat fuck is going to take any questions whenever he finally gets on stage is anyone’s guess. We can however say he’s “answered” one question he would be guaranteed to face as earlier on Tuesday he told ABC’s Rachel Scott the old “I don’t know him, someone put him up there. I don’t know who he is,” when asked about shitty comedian Tony Hinchcliffe’s set at the Sunday Madison Square Garden rally. “Trump also insisted he didn’t hear any of the comments, even as they’ve been played on television and written about extensively. When asked what he made of them, he did not take the opportunity to denounce them, repeating that he didn’t hear the comments,” ABC wrote.

A new Susquehanna Polling survey of Michigan voters finds Vice President Kamala Harris leading convicted felon former President Trump 52 to 47 percent in the state.

The final SurveyUSA North Carolina poll of 2024 finds Vice President Kamala Harris and convicted felon former President Trump tied at 48 percent each in the Tar Heel state. Harris leads 50 to 47 percent among the 38 percent of respondents who already voted. As of Tuesday, the early vote electorate in the state is 34.1 percent R, 33.4 percent D, and 32 percent indie, per TargetSmart.

Appearing on The Breakfast Club Tuesday morning, Vice President Kamala Harris told host Charlamagne Tha God that Washington Post owner Jeff Bezos’s bitchass decision to halt the paper’s editorial board from endorsing her was because of “Donald Trump and the billionaires club.”

“They are who is in his club,” said Harris, per the Daily Beast. “That’s who he cares about.”

Voters in New York State’s Lake Erie-area 144th Assembly District face a choice next week: Do they go with a name evoking imperial courage and strength in Democratic Lockport Mayor Michelle Roman? Or do they go with the vaguely salty and gross pink processed meat-sounding Paul Bologna, the chief of staff to incumbent Mike Norris, who’s running for a state Supreme Court seat.

“When I say I believe in local control and home rule I mean that you have to give a local government the opportunity to make decisions on whether or not these massive energy generating facilities, whether it’s wind, solar or what have you, battery storage, is going to be in their community,” said Bologna at some candidate forum reported on by the Lockport Union-Sun-Journal and how is the guy’s name pronounced? Is it like Bo-LOG-na or is it “baloney”? Does he have to correct people when they say “Paul Baloney”? How the fuck does someone run for elected office with a last name like that? Like it might as well be “Malarkey” except malarkey is funnier because Joe Biden.

Hell, even “Wiener” is a better last name than Bologna/Baloney. If he was Paul Wiener then he could say he was going to stay extra hard for his constituents. In conclusion, baloney is gross.

Now that is a shit ton of empty seats. Haven’t seen it this clearly demonstrated. Who can blame Trump fans for not feeling incentivized to show a shit ton of empty seats?