Spirit Halloween, the ephemeral retail wraith that haunts the departed vessels empty Sears, Kmart, and other benighted retail stores before vanishing into the aether, will transform into a smaller seasonal chain selling holiday shit called Spirit Christmas, with the first one opening up in Poughkeepsie, New York in just 10 days’ time, the Poughkeepsie Journal reports.

The Poughkeepsie store is just one of 10 opening in 2024 compared to who the hell knows how many Spirit Halloweens usually open every year, but it appears to be sort of a test run to see if they can keep the corporate gypsy thing going into another retail-centric holiday season.

HOLY FUCK! GUYS, VICE PRESIDENT KAMALA HARRIS IS ON THE VIEW! This is like… Whoa, how the fuck are we- Just, this is like the BIGGEST daytime TV media event ever. Like do you feel this moment, right now? It’s THE VIEW. Completely floored. Wow. Amazing show, amazing interview.

Somebody make sure Mediaite and Raw Story are covering this. They better not miss it or they’re going to disappoint so many of their readers. That would be like Axios missing a Glenn Youngkin 2028 “scoop” or National Zero missing a registered Republican Villager getting arrested for exposing himself in a Burger King. Failure simply isn’t an option when it’s your website’s beat.

Responding to damning excerpts from the upcoming book by veteran Washington journalist Bob Woodward, who kind of knows a thing or two about uncovering political corruption, convicted felon former President Trump’s large-headed spokesman Steven Cheung issued a statement Tuesday, saying “None of these made up stories by Bob Woodward are true and are the work of a truly demented and deranged man who suffers from a debilitating case of Trump Derangement Syndrome. Woodward is an angry, little man and is clearly upset because President Trump is successfully suing him because of the unauthorized publishing of recordings he made previously.”

News to us that lawsuit is still going. Cheung kept going with “President Trump gave him absolutely no access for this trash book that either belongs in the bargain bin of the fiction section of a discount bookstore or used as toilet tissue. Woodward is a total sleazebag who has lost it mentally, and he’s slow, lethargic, incompetent and overall a boring person with no personality.”

Okay Steve… And we get why Trump wouldn’t want to give Woodward access because four years ago he got Trump on tape saying literally “Well I think, Bob, really, to be honest with you… I wanted to- I wanted to always play it down. I still like playing it down, because I don’t want to create a panic,” about the COVID-19 virus, which wasn’t a good look back then.

A Tuesday press release from prosecutors in the Southern District of New York announcing the arrest of and “unsealing of a complaint charging former New York City Hall official Mohamed Bahi with witness tampering and destruction of evidence in connection with a federal investigation of unlawful contributions to a particular 2021 mayoral campaign,” reveals that New York City Mayor Eric Adams’s co-conspirators are even dumber and more inept than convicted felon former President Trump’s if we’re going to go pound-for-pound against the shit those morons pulled when they tried to hide the classified documents he stole from the White House before the FBI raid in August 2022.

Seriously, read this: “On or about June 13, 2024, in connection with the Federal Investigation, FBI agents executed a court-authorized search warrant at the Businessman’s home, and also served the Businessman and the Donors with grand jury subpoenas. After being notified by the Businessman that the FBI had executed a search warrant at the Businessman’s home that morning, Bahi met privately with the Businessman. Bahi told the Businessman that he had just spoken with [Adams] and advised the Businessman to lie to federal investigators.” What the actual fuck, lol.

“Bahi then met with the Businessman and the Donors and instructed them to lie to the FBI. On or about June 14, 2024, after having met with [Adams], Bahi told the Businessman that [Adams] believed that the Businessman would not cooperate with law enforcement. On or about July 24, 2024, in connection with the Federal Investigation, FBI agents executed a court-authorized search warrant at Bahi’s home and seized Bahi’s cellphone. In an effort to obstruct the Federal Investigation, upon the FBI’s arrival at Bahi’s home, he deleted from his cellphone the encrypted messaging application Signal, which Bahi had previously used to communicate with Adams.”

We’re so blessed to have federal prosecutors that entertain just as consistently as they win cases.

Republican Arkansas Congressman French Hill wasn’t really playing along with the “FEMA is purposely fucking over MAGA voters in North Carolina” and “FEMA’s budget has been pissed away in Lebanon” narrative, much to the frustration of Fox News idiot Maria Bartiromo as she tried to hype the manufactured outrages Tuesday morning. Guess this is why we’ve never seen French Hill on Fox News before and would hazard that we’re unlikely to see him again anytime soon.

Israeli defense officials on Tuesday said Hashem Safieddine, successor to recently-exploded Hezbollah chief Hassan Nasrallah, has probably been exploded too, Bloomberg reports.

Safieddine “has apparently been eliminated” said Defense Minister Yoav Gallant in an interview with Channel 12, adding that the Iran-backed terrorist militia is having trouble finding guys who haven’t been exploded yet to take command. “There is no one to make decisions,” Gallant said. “It will take another day, another week, another two weeks, and when the smoke and fog clear, they will understand in Iran that they have lost their most valued asset – which is Hezbollah.”

Previewing Bob Woodward’s upcoming book “War,” CNN reports convicted felon former President Trump has spoken with his boss, Russian dictator Vladimir Putin at least seven times since leaving office in 2021, one of the fat bastard’s minions told Woodward, who writes of a scene in which Trump told an aide at Mar-a-Lago to leave the room so he could take a call with Vlad. The veteran journalist writes in 2020 Donald had “secretly sent Putin a bunch of Abbott Point of Care Covid test machines for his personal use,” after which Vlad said “Please don’t tell anybody you sent these.”

“I don’t care. Fine,” Trump said, to which Putin became emphatic, saying “No, no, I don’t want you to tell anybody because people will get mad at you, not me. They don’t care about me,” the former KGB agent continued, probably realizing better than Trump that giving away scarce American medical supplies to a hostile foreign power during a pandemic might not have been the best look.

Lol. When asked about the post-2021 calls, milkshake abortion guy Jason Miller told Woodward “Um, ah, not that, ah, not that I’m aware of. I have not heard that they’re talking, so I’d push back on that.”

Woodward writes Biden DNI Avril Haines “carefully hedged” when asked about post-presidency Trump-Putin calls. “I would not purport to be aware of all contacts with Putin. I wouldn’t purport to speak to what President Trump may or may not have done,” Haines said in her non-denial.

Convicted felon former President Trump on Tuesday managed an impressive THREE different variations of “people are saying” in a single Truth Social shitpost, starting with an assertion about the CBS 60 Minutes interview he was too much of a pussy to sit for himself, writing “The Interview on 60 Minutes with Comrade Kamala Harris is considered by many of those who reviewed it, the WORST Interview they have ever seen. She literally had no idea what she was talking about, and it was an embarrassment to our Country that a Major Party Candidate would be so completely inept.”

For the second unsupported assertion attributed to unnamed parties, Trump the continued with “In addition, her Incompetence on ‘helping’ people through the devastation of Hurricane Helene is being reviewed as, by far, the Worst in American History, even worse than Katrina – If that is possible! I can’t imagine anybody living in North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Alabama, Florida, or Tennessee, voting for her,” again not naming those who have “reviewed” Harris’s performance and admitting that his imagination is a large driver of this alleged massive surge against her.

“Pollsters are saying that the anti, or negative, Vote in those places, and even places not affected but with people watching what took place, will be heavily against her. This is good news because November 5th is the Most Important Day in the History of our Country, and we cannot bear four more years of Incompetence,” Trump wrote, finally wrapping up his rant and for once sort of specifying who “they” are, as in pollsters. He did not however link to any of these polls and we would be surprised if any have been conducted in the affected areas since the storm. So he’s full of shit.

“House Energy and Commerce Committee Chair Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-WA) led 40 of her Republican colleagues in demanding answers from the Chairwoman of the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) regarding her recent decision to fast-track a media deal allowing the Fund for Policy Reform, a group aligned with Democratic mega-donor George Soros, to buy over 200 radio stations just weeks before the 2024 election. With a party line vote of 3-2, the decision at the Commission level by the Democratic members of the FCC to temporarily waive the required national security review and allow excessive foreign ownership of American radio stations is deeply disturbing,” says a Monday press release from the House Energy and Commerce Committee.

In their letter to the FCC the committee’s Republicans expressed deep butthurt that Rupert Murdoch or the Moonies or Elon Musk didn’t buy up Audacy instead, writing “It is highly concerning that the FCC did not follow regular order for a transaction of this magnitude. Licensees and investors need certainty that the FCC will follow its rules and procedures when approving transactions so that the broadcast industry can have the resources it needs to continue serving the public.”

Having reached a complete saturation point on swing state ads and stuck with an absolute shit ton of cash with nowhere else really to spend it, the FutureForward PAC supporting Vice President Kamala Harris is dumping $20 million on national TV and YouTube ads, in a strategy that Axios describes as “an October hack: Reserve on national cable and just accept that the majority of your viewers aren’t your target audience. Go national to win local.” It’s part of a massive $50 million buy for the Dem in the final four weeks of the apocalyptic contest with convicted felon former President Trump, who was found guilty of 34 felony counts for interfering in the 2016 election by paying a pornstar to keep quiet about a two-minute sexual encounter he had more or less coerced her into a decade earlier. He’s also rumored to have fondled himself in a hotel room in Moscow while watching multiple hookers pee on a bed in a moment that was secretly recorded by Russian intel agents.

Vice President Kamala Harris has for the first time taken the lead in a New York Times/Siena College national survey since entering the race in July, as the Grey Lady and the small Albany-area Catholic school find her up 49 to 46 percent over convicted felon former President Trump in a head-to-head and 47 to 44 percent when the third party scrubs/Russian assets are included.

Times polling egghead Nate Cohn writes that it’s actually a 4 percent lead for Harris, but “these are rounded figures.” The poll also found Harris with a 46 to 44 percent lead on “represents change” and a 49 to 41 percent lead on “cares about people like you” even while 42 percent said Trump’s policies had helped them personally versus just 22 percent who said the same of Biden.

UFC star assisting in Helene rescue efforts says FEMA abandoned North Carolina: 'Still woefully absent' https://t.co/FcO8w0oDqj

— Fox News (@FoxNews) October 8, 2024

Convicted felon former President Trump’s campaign on Monday finally announced they were fulfilling one-half of his vow to visit the “invaded” cities of Aurora, Colorado and Springfield, Ohio, with his campaign setting a Friday afternoon rally at the Gaylord Rockies Resort in the former.

“Aurora, Colorado has become a ‘war zone’ due to the influx of violent Venezuelan prison gang members from Tren de Aragua. With approximately 43,000 migrants flooding the neighboring city of Denver since December 2022, many of these migrants have made their way to Aurora, bringing chaos and fear with them. Local families have been forced to flee their homes as Tren de Aragua members terrorize apartment complexes with guns, theft, and rampant drug activity,” wrote the fat bastard’s campaign in the announcement, coming more than a month after the town’s police chief said there’s no evidence that the gangbangers have taken over entire apartment buildings.

“Damaging hurricane-force winds and a life-threatening storm surge with destructive waves are expected across portions of the northern coast of the Yucatan Peninsula today. Milton is expected to grow in size and remain an extremely dangerous hurricane when it approaches the west coast of Florida on Wednesday. A large area of destructive storm surge will occur along parts of the west coast of Florida. This is an extremely life-threatening situation and residents in those areas should follow advice given by local officials and evacuate immediately if told to do so.”

“Devastating hurricane-force winds are expected along portions of the west coast of Florida, where a Hurricane Warning is in effect. Milton is forecast to remain a hurricane as it crosses the Florida Peninsula and life-threatening hurricane-force winds, especially in gusts, are expected to spread inland across the peninsula. Preparations to protect life and property in the warning areas should be complete by tonight. Areas of heavy rainfall will continue to impact portions of Florida well ahead of Milton through early Thursday. This rainfall brings the risk of life-threatening flash, urban and aerial flooding along with moderate to major river flooding. Flooding will be exacerbated in areas where coastal and inland flooding combine to increase the overall threat,” says an NHC update.

Even with Florida bracing to be hit by a second hurricane in a little more than a week–which some might interpret as a sign from God that He doesn’t like the management of the region–Republican Governor and boot enthusiast Ron DeSantis knows the Culture Wars never end:  the Florida Department of Health threatened a local television station with legal action for airing an ad for an abortion amendment on November’s ballot, AdWeek reports.

According to the letter sent to Tampa NBC affiliate WFLA, the ad includes information that is “false” and “dangerous” that the Department could “[i]nstitute criminal proceedings in the county court in the jurisdiction of which the condition exists against all persons failing to comply with notices to correct sanitary nuisance conditions.”

The “sanitary nuisance” the Department claims to have spotted is that the pro-choice ad asserts that Florida now bans lifesaving abortions:  a woman who became pregnant while fighting cancer.  “The doctors knew that if I did not end my pregnancy, I would lose my baby, I would lose my life, and my daughter would lose her mom. Florida has now banned abortion … even in cases like mine. Amendment 4 is gonna protect women like me.”

The team at CBS News’s 60 Minutes on Monday laid out in detail how convicted felon former President Trump backed out of his traditional candidate interview with the program. From a verbatim transcript of Scott Pelley, emphasis ours on some funny parts:

Then the kicker…

Convicted felon former President Trump proclaimed himself the protector of women despite being an adjudicated rapist who has been accused of all sorts of awful shit by dozens of them.

A Norfolk, Virginia woman whose job is to deliver drugs to inmates serving time in the joint was caught officers and subsequently arrested by deputies for fulfilling that function after a lengthy internal investigation, The Virginian-Pilot reports citing a press release from the sheriff’s office.

Takeyah Gosha, 30, also work a side job with a vendor contracted to deliver goods to the canteen inside the jail. In fact that was how she was able to pursue the lucrative work of distributing drugs to inmates inside the jail. The type of drugs Gosha delivered and the charges were unspecified, but either way it’s a bummer for the guys who purchased consumed the drugs to alleviate the boredom of sitting in jail and wearing the same orange jumpsuits all day. It is however an opportunity now available to whoever else wants to be the drugs delivery person for Norfolk’s City jail.

“President Donald J. Trump, 45th President of the United States of America, will deliver remarks at a rally in Coachella, California on Saturday, October 12, 2024, at 5:00PM PDT. Under Kamala Harris and her dangerous Democrat allies like Tim Walz, the notorious ‘California Dream’ has turned into a nightmare for everyday Americans. Since Harris and Biden took office, prices have skyrocketed by nearly 20 percent, leaving Californians grappling with crushing costs. Families are struggling to stay afloat, with the average California household losing more than $33,232 since January 2021. Californians are suffocating under rising prices for everything from groceries to housing, thanks to Kamalanomics,” and blah blah blah, says the fat bastard’s campaign in a press release.

Why he’s spending 25 percent of the final Saturdays left before election day in California we don’t know. It’s a short flight to Arizona and Nevada but there aren’t any other events scheduled there.

The boss on Monday said its time for the two inadequate babydicks Donald Trump and Ron DeSantis to stop fucking around and take this shit seriously. The babydicks, constantly angry over their physical limitations, will naturally not comply with the boss’s directives but it’s of a strategy on her part to portray herself as the boss who does the job while they play with their babydicks.