Speaking to reporters in Georgia on Thursday, President Joe Biden said he’s likely to call Congress back into session to pass a FEMA funding package to rebuild the areas wrecked by Hurricane Helene and get prepared for other major storms this season, Punchbowl reports. “We can’t wait. We can’t wait. People need help now,” said Biden at press conference in Ray City, Georgia.

Vice President Kamala Harris is with Republican former Congresswoman Liz Cheney in Ripon, Wisconsin, the town said to be the “symbolic birthplace” of the GOP. Maybe we’re a wee bit biased but we’re of the thinking that a former House leadership member, the daughter of the most powerful vice president in the 21st century (or ever), plus that man himself and a shit ton of other members of the opposite party, just miiiiight be, pound-for-pound, a bit more significant than Tulsi Gabbard (who’s not even a Dem anymore) and a complete freak like Robert F Kennedy Jr endorsing convicted felon former President Trump as far as cross-partisan permission structures go.

A Billings, Montana MAGA dipshit was found guilty Wednesday of a series threatening phone calls placed to then-Speaker of the House but always a feckless twatwaffle Kevin McCarthy for failing to order the Air Force or whoever to shoot down the ChiCom spy balloon that the Republican Party and right wing media lost their fucking minds over in February 2023, Newsmax reports.

Richard Rogers, 45, of Billings, threatened a McCarthy staffer during no fewer 100 calls to the Republican speaker’s office placed in just 75 minutes on February 3, 2023, just as the entire MAGA media industrial complex was going full on balls to the wall with the spy balloon batshittery.

We have no way of knowing whether Rogers would’ve acted this way on his own if Fox News, Newsmax, Breitbart, the Gateway Pundit and so on had acknowledged the spy balloon and updated maybe four or five articles a day about that news cycle… Well actually he probably would have just lost his shit about something else. “Rogers wore shirts depicting Captain America and other superheroes throughout the trial, including one Wednesday with the letters ‘MAGA’ on the front, a reference to Donald Trump’s ‘Make America Great Again’ slogan,” Newsmax writes about Rogers.

“Moderate” Republican upstate New York Congressman Mike Lawler wore blackface to dress up as Michael Jackson during his sophomore year at Manhattan College in the Bronx, according to photos obtained by the New York Times whose authenticity Lawler doesn’t dispute.”The ugly practice of blackface was the furthest thing from my mind,” Lawler told the Times. “Let me be clear, this is not that. I am a student of history and for anyone who takes offense to the photo, I am sorry.”

“All you can do is live and learn,” continued the Jackson superfan who was so obsessed with the credibly accused child molester he flew to California a year earlier to sit in the courtroom while the “King of Pop” was on trial for charges based on what was maybe as not as credible accusation. And then got thrown out of the courtroom for (quietly) cursing at the accuser’s mom while she testified.

We have questions about the blackface though. Mainly why the fuck is a white guy painting his face Black to look like Jackson when Jackson himself underwent who the hell knows what kind of insane shit to dye his own skin white? It’s not like Mike was trying to dress up as MC Hammer here. He already had the look. No shoe polish required to pull it off for a college Halloween party costume.

Convicted felon former President Trump is campaigning in his usual comfort zone of a right wing town in a swing state, audibly aging and mentally decompensating in front of his worshippers.

“Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton sued TikTok, one of the largest social media platforms, for operating its platform in a manner that puts the online safety and privacy of Texas children at risk and violates the Securing Children Online through Parental Empowerment (‘SCOPE’) Act. ‘I will continue to hold TikTok and other Big Tech companies accountable for exploiting Texas children and failing to prioritize minors’ online safety and privacy,’ said Attorney General Ken Paxton. ‘Texas law requires social media companies to take steps to protect kids online and requires'” and blah blah blah who gives a fuck says the corrupt, Picasso-faced bastard’s office in a press release.

What is interesting however is that this is a pretty stark sign TikTok is evil again in MAGA World, despite convicted felon former President Trump suddenly loving it like six months ago when some twat billionaire who has a large stake in it had gotten him to come around – that and his campaign selling him on using it to reach out to all the disaffected Zoomers who hated Joe Biden for being old.

Did Paxton ask Trump for permission for filing this lawsuit, or is he actually doing his job and enforcing the laws of the state of Texas in court without Donald’s approval (irrespective of whether that law is constitutional or well-informed)? That’s an actual question we have to ask here because we’re really not sure if Paxton can take a piss without asking the Orange Warlord.

QAnon freak former Mesa County, Colorado Clerk Tina Peters, convicted in August of four felonies and three misdemeanors for her role in giving an associate of mustachioed pillow man Mike Lindell access to the county’s Dominion Voting Systems after the 2020 election, was sentenced to nine years in the hotel for her crimes on Thursday, Denver 7 reports.

Cueball-headed Florida MAGA Congressman Brian Mast was pretty meh when asked to comment on Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith’s evidence filing describing convicted felon former President Trump as being meh when informed by staff that Vice President Mike Pence’s life was in danger when the saracens were storming the castle of democracy on January 6, 2021.

“The Justice Department announced today the unsealing of a warrant authorizing the seizure of 41 internet domains used by Russian intelligence agents and their proxies to commit computer fraud and abuse in the United States. As an example of the Department’s commitment to public-private operational collaboration to disrupt such adversaries’ malicious cyber activities, as set forth in the National Cybersecurity Strategy, the Department acted concurrently with a Microsoft civil action to restrain 66 internet domains used by the same actors,” says a Justice Department press release.

“According to the partially unsealed affidavit filed in support of the government’s seizure warrant, the seized domains were used by hackers belonging to, or criminal proxies working for, the ‘Callisto Group,’ an operational unit within Center 18 of the Russian Federal Security Service (the FSB), to commit violations of unauthorized access to a computer to obtain information from a department or agency of the United States, unauthorized access to a computer to obtain information from a protected computer, and causing damage to a protected computer. Callisto Group hackers used the seized domains in an ongoing and sophisticated spear-phishing campaign with the goal of gaining unauthorized access to, and steal valuable information from, the computers and email accounts of US government and other victims. In conjunction, Microsoft announced the filing of a civil action to seize 66 internet domains also used by Callisto Group actors. Microsoft Threat Intelligence tracks this group as ‘Star Blizzard’ (formerly SEABORGIUM, also known as COLDRIVER).”

A spokesperson for Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff on Thursday denied the extremely suspect story propagated in right wing media that he struck an ex-girlfriend in the fact in Cannes during a party in 2012, telling Semafor the “report is untrue,” and “any suggestion that he would or has ever hit a woman is false.” That so far no MSM sources have even addressed it – despite Megyn Kelly having a fucking meltdown over that in particular – should tell you that it’s a MAGA scam operation.

Or an unsuccessful one. For now. You never know when the New York Times is going to buy into it.

Details are sketchy and Twitter-based but this was captured this morning on the line to get in to convicted felon former President Trump’s rally in Saginaw, Michigan. It does not appear it be racially-motivated because the sides of the combatants appear to be mixed in racial makeup. Credit to the Michigan Advance’s Anna Liz Nichols for capturing this lovely scene of MAGA behavior.

At least 200 people were killed last week when Hurricane Helene struck Florida, Georgia, Tennessee, Virginia, and the Carolinas, with 61 of those fatalities in the Asheville, North Carolina area and 33 across the state of Georgia, ABC News reports citing a tally by the Associated Press.

Two former Trump White House officials confirm to Politico E&E News what everyone pretty much already knew about the fat fuck’s responses to hurricanes and other natural disasters. “We went as far as looking up how many votes he got in those impacted areas… to show him these are people who voted for you,” said former Senior director for resilience policy on the National Security Council Mark Harvey about trying to sell Trump on approving disaster aid for California after wildfires by showing him that Orange County had more of his voters than Iowa. “There’s no empathy for the survivors. It is all about getting your photo-op, right? Disaster theater to make him look good.”

Former Homeland Security official Olivia Troye said she would often have to lean on Vice President Mike Pence to get Trump to give a shit about disaster victims and warned that it’s only going to get worse if the fat fuck wins again. “It’s not going to be about that American voter out there who isn’t even really paying attention to politics, and their house is gone, and the president of the United States is judging them for how they voted, and they didn’t even vote,” said Troye.

Third Lady Melania Trump’s book publisher tried to hustle CNN for $250,000 for an interview with the former illegal immigrant, the network reports on a back and forth between them and Skyhorse.

“Neither Melania nor anyone from her team knew anything about the NDA and the document that was sent reflected an internal miscommunication,” Skyhorse CEO Tony Lyons said in a statement for the article – after his company definitely sent CNN a “Confidentiality and Nondisclosure Agreement” with laid out strict terms for the interview and use of content from the upcoming book, and stipulating that “CNN shall pay a licensing fee of two hundred fifty thousand dollars ($250,000).”

The Third Lady on Thursday doubled down on her “pro-choice” stance in a tweet.

You will not be surprised to learn that, over a month after telling CBS he would “very gladly” releasing his medical records to the public, convicted felon former President Trump has yet to do so and when asked by the New York Times how that’s coming along, his campaign only gave a copy of a one-page letter signed last year by some fucking quack that nobody had ever heard of before.

A violent antisemi-ite remains at large after slashing the tires of at least 80 semi trucks in the parking lot of a TA travel center in Madison County, Tennessee last week, Fox News reports.

The hate crime against trucking did not leave any antisemi-tic propaganda at the scene but because no other vehicles were reported to be attacked, law enforcement have deemed this a targeted act.

Haulers using the TA Center and other nearby “truck and fuck” overnight rest stops are urged to remain vigilant against antisemi-ites on top of their usual awareness of unscrupulous meth dealers, prostitutes carrying multiple backup box cutters in their purses, and most of all, other truckers.

"I feel confident that we would not have seen the delay in response from the federal government were Donald Trump in charge."

— North Carolina Rep. Chuck Edwards@RepChuckEdwards @RobFinnertyUSA pic.twitter.com/SV5hPbJsMF

— NEWSMAX (@NEWSMAX) October 3, 2024

Sure looks like they’re going to make this into a thing that if they can’t rely on the affected to vote MAGA then they’re just going to try to get everyone else as pissed as possible.

“Vote for the fattest bear of the year! Some of the largest brown bears on Earth make their home at Brooks River in Katmai National Park, Alaska. Brown bears get fat to survive and Fat Bear Week is an annual tournament celebrating their success in preparation for winter hibernation. Matchups are open for voting October 2 – 8 between 12 – 9 pm Eastern (9 am – 6 pm Pacific). This is a single elimination tournament. For each match-up, vote for the bear you believe best exemplifies fatness and success in brown bears. The bear with the most votes advances to the next round.”

“Only one will be crowned Fat Bear Week champion. Meet the bears, fill out your bracket, predict your fat bear winner, and campaign for your candidate,” says the page at Explore.org encouraging Americans to cast a digital ballot for their favorite – or subjectively determined fattest – bear in Alaska’s Katmai National Park after a delay forced by Bear 469’s brutal murder of Bear 402.

Convicted felon former President Trump on Thursday morning woke up and decided he might as well stir up some more falsehoods and bullshit about the response to Hurricane Helene’s deadly flooding in the Southeast, posting “Kamala and Sleepy Joe are universally being given POOR GRADES for the way that they are handling the Hurricane, especially in North Carolina. It is going down as the WORST AND MOST INCOMPETENTLY MANAGED ‘STORM,’ AT THE FEDERAL LEVEL, EVER SEEN BEFORE – BUT THEIR MANAGEMENT OF THE BORDER IS WORSE!” on Truth Social.

Maybe here is where we’d bring up Hurricane Katrina as an example of a mismanaged federal response to a storm. Or maybe Hurricane Maria, where much of Puerto Rico was destroyed and Trump himself didn’t give a fuck since those people don’t vote. Or his COVID response which for some reason he gets a pass on. But we can skip past that and speculate on what his game is here.

Would Trump be lying about the response if Alabama and Mississippi had been hit instead? Who knows. We know he didn’t give a shit about the 2021 ice storm that crippled Texas. He did make a big scene over the 2023 East Palestine trainwreck in Ohio, but keep in mind that was less than a mile from the Pennsylvania border, and the chemical plume very easily could have affected Keystone staters too. This close to the election yeah he probably have still made a scene an accused President Biden of purposely holding back on a federal response if hard red states had been hit.

MAGA Tennessee Congressman Tim Burchett may or may not have colored inside the lines of “acceptable” Republican antisemitism Thursday morning on Fox and Friends, calling billionaire philanthropist and Holocaust survivor “a money-changer of the worst kind” for having bought up a shit ton of radio stations. The biblical reference to the “bad Jews” whom Jesus angrily screamed at to expel them from Herod’s Temple and trashed their tables is obvious enough.

As is the non-irony of Burchett complaining about “foreign ownership” of media when George Soros is an American citizen – as is the Australian-born billionaire owner of the television network the dullard Neo-Confederate Congressman is appearing on (not to mention that MAGA’s favorite social media network is owned by another naturalized foreign-born citizen).