Spandex-wearing grapple-freak Jim Jordan is once again stretching his lower abdominal muscles in anticipation of a fierce wrestling match for the top of the House GOP, the Washington Post reports.

The picture the Post paints is of a House Judiciary chair who is unsurprisingly as much of a mentally unhinged asshole to his fellow Republicans as he is to American voters, but has since been (somewhat) chastened since his humiliating defeat in the October 2023 speakership shitshow, trying to build bridges by sharing his donors’ wealth with colleagues who face actual challenges in November because they represent less-ridiculously gerrymandered districts, as well as the NRCC writ large. The most obvious chance Jordan has to move up is if the GOP loses the majority because then they’re likely to kick Mike Johnson, which in turn will create an opening in leadership.

Jordan will then have to outwit other pieces of shit Steve Scalise, Tom Emmer, and Elise Stefanik to win the top spot. Which might be kind of tough, as the Post writes “Some Republicans still remain irate and may not ever support him in leadership because of how he comported himself during the last speakership election… Others just don’t trust Jordan given how he shunned helping out his non-Freedom Caucus colleagues throughout his early career in Congress. His scorched-earth tactics and refusal to be a team player and contribute to the party’s campaign coffers drew the ire of many colleagues who believed that he contributed to Republican losses in close races. Those actions set the example for a larger crop of far-right members who still refuse to donate to the NRCC and now campaign against GOP colleagues in primary elections, helping to drive intraparty divisions.” Lol.

A new Emerson College national survey finds Vice president Kamala Harris leading convicted felon former President Trump 50 to 48 percent nationally. A majority of respondents, 58 percent, said there should be another debate between the two vs 35 percent no, with the lowest support naturally coming from Republican as it’s 49 percent yes debate to 41 percent no among GOP respondents.

Going into the red zone here it may or may not be useful to look at Emerson’s most recent track record in a national election rather than the long list of their state and local races in which they overrated the Republican candidate relative to the Democrat: In the October 2022 generic congressional ballot question Emerson said they found Republicans leading Democrats 46 to 41 percent nationally, the final result was 50 R – 47.3 D, a 2.7 percent miss. The point being that even if we have a pretty lengthy record demonstrating Emerson’s roughly 4 to 6 percent pro-GOP bias in local elections, their most recent national call was closer to the mark.

🚨🚨🚨 HUGE! 🚨🚨🚨 Former Trump White House aide CASSIDY HUTCHINSON said she’s voting for Kamala Harris! 🚨🚨🚨 BIG! 🚨🚨🚨 TOTALLY UNEXPECTED!!! 🚨🚨🚨 BUZZ-WORTHY!!! 🚨🚨🚨

🚨🚨🚨 EVEN BIGGER! 🚨🚨🚨 LIZ CHENEY is CAMPAIGNING with Kamala Harris in Wisconsin on Thursday 🚨🚨🚨 BIG DEAL 🚨🚨🚨 CNN reported it just a little while ago 🚨🚨🚨 HUGE!!! 🚨🚨🚨

A new report from the Department of Homeland Security said that election workers in this year’s campaign will face “the most significant physical threat” from domestic terrorists who will target “government officials, voters, and elections-related personnel and infrastructure, including polling places, ballot drop box locations, voter registration sites, campaign events, political party offices, and vote counting sites,” ABC News reports.

In the 2025 Homeland Threat Assessment, analysts said the threat level “will remain high” and that threats are coming from more than the Trump’s own Irrational Guard of supporters who think civilian election’s workers are cheating.  Other threats were also discussed.

“Between September 2023 and July 2024, [domestic violent extremists] driven by various anti-government, racial, or gender-related motivations have conducted at least four attacks in the Homeland, one of which resulted in a death. US law enforcement disrupted at least seven additional [domestic violent extremist] plots,” according to the assessment.; “Two [homegrown violent extremist] attacks, partially motivated by the Israel-HAMAS conflict, also occurred during this timeframe, and law enforcement disrupted at least three other HVE plots.”

Well, here’s another reason Melania isn’t on the campaign with her flailing husband:  The Guardian reports that excepts of Melania Trump’s creatively titled new book Melania show the former (not future) First Lady as solidly pro-choice, a stark contrast from her obscene spouse:

It is imperative to guarantee that women have autonomy in deciding their preference of having children, based on their own convictions, free from any intervention or pressure from the government. Why should anyone other than the woman herself have the power to determine what she does with her own body? A woman’s fundamental right of individual liberty, to her own life, grants her the authority to terminate her pregnancy if she wishes. Restricting a woman’s right to choose whether to terminate an unwanted pregnancy is the same as denying her control over her own body. I have carried this belief with me throughout my entire adult life.”

Smokey the Bear would be very, very mad.  The wildfire that destroyed the historic Lahaina community on Maui after a grass fire started by downed power lines reflared after firefighters thought they had extinguished it, CBS News reports.

The fire, which claimed 101 lives, spread rapidly on the afternoon of August 8th, 2023 from an area where firefighters had responded to a downed power line and fire that morning.  While firefighters may have extinguished the original fire, it’s unclear from the findings if the area where teams spent three hours putting out the grass fire rekindled due to high winds, or if a spark drifted to a nearby gully and grew from there.

After flames were spotted again at the site, crews arrived within minutes, but fast, swirling winds fueled the fire and quickly grew out of control.

You guys want to talk about "employers"?

Let's talk about how 90% of Kamala's staff quit because she's abusive.

Here are the facts:https://t.co/1qSPsaiEvI

— KamalaHQLies (@KamalaHQLies) October 2, 2024

Maybe it’s a compliment to the efficacy of “Kamala HQ” that it appears the Trump campaign or some ballsucking PAC or whoever stood up a full-time, single-purpose rapid response account (Actually this was just supposed to be an “article” about the top tweet which was really fucking solid).

The reply was actually one of the slower ones, the usual speed is minutes for the “Lies” account to post an angry response which, almost certainly is the product of someone whose actual job is to “fact check” Kamala HQ as opposed to just a passionate Trump fanboy doing it for free.

In a significant drop from both the most recent big time debate between convicted felon former President Trump and Vice President Kamala Harris’s 67 million viewers as well as then-Senator Harris’s 2020 debate with then-Vice President Mike Pence’s 51 million viewers, the Tuesday night showdown between Pence’s replacement Jaydee Vance and Minnesota Governor Tim Walz drew 43 million viewers across across 15 TV networks simulcasting, CNN reports citing Nielsen ratings.

“The release of this falsehood-ridden, Unconstitutional, J6 brief immediately following Tim Walz’s disastrous Debate performance, and 33 days before the Most Important Election in the History of our Country, is another obvious attempt by the Harris-Biden regime to undermine and Weaponize American Democracy, and INTERFERE IN THE 2024 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION.”

“Deranged Jack Smith, the hand picked Prosecutor of the Harris-Biden DOJ, and Washington, DC based Radical Left Democrats, are HELL BENT on continuing to Weaponize the Justice Department in an attempt to cling to power. ‘TRUMP’ is dominating the Election cycle, leading in the Polls, and the Radical Democrats throughout the Deep State are totally ‘freaking out.’ This entire case is a Partisan, Unconstitutional, Witch Hunt, that should be dismissed, entirely, just like the Florida case was dismissed!” posted convicted felon former President Trump Wednesday in reaction to special counsel Jack Smith’s big filing exposing Trump’s criminality following his humiliating 2020 loss.

“WHETHER NOW THE FULLY DEBUNKED RUSSIA, RUSSIA, RUSSIA, IRAN, IRAN, IRAN, UKRAINE, UKRAINE, UKRAINE, 51 INTELLIGENCE AGENTS, SPYING ON MY CAMPAIGN, IMPEACHMENT HOAX NUMBER ONE, IMPEACHMENT HOAX NUMBER TWO, OR ANY OF THE OTHER SCAMS, THIS ILLEGAL ACTION TAKEN BY THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT, INCLUDING THEIR RAID ON MAR-A-LAGO FOR A CASE THAT WAS DISMISSED, WILL END JUST LIKE ALL OF THE OTHERS – WITH COMPLETE VICTORY FOR ‘PRESIDENT DONALD J TRUMP,'” the fat bastard also posted. It’s not clear why he put “IRAN, IRAN, IRAN” in there since, as far as we know, Trump was never investigated for colluding with Iran. It is clear why he left out the Stormy Daniels-2016 election interference case, because a Manhattan jury found him guilty of 34 felonies on that one, thus it wasn’t a “COMPLETE VICTORY.”

“The Trump-Vance campaign and authorized committees once again exceeded internal benchmarks and demonstrated huge support from grassroots donations. The campaign ended September with over $160 million raised and 96 percent of the donations being under $200. This resulted in an average donation of $60 from working men and women across the nation. With this September haul, the campaign and authorized committees ended the month with $283 million cash on hand ensuring the resources needed to propel President Trump’s campaign to victory,” says convicted felon former President Trump’s campaign in a press release. Harris campaign comms guy Amar Moussa notes that this is $88 million less than what the fat fuck’s second campaign raised in September 2020.

Vice President Kamala Harris is on the ground in Augusta, Georgia on Wednesday to tour the areas devastated by Hurricane Helene and speak with local officials and the affected.

DC Circuit Judge Tanya Chutkan on Wednesday unsealed a redacted version of Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith’s 165 page evidentiary filing in convicted felon former President Trump’s DC coup attempt conspiracy case. Rather than try to bang out one summary from a lengthy PDF, we’re instead going to live blog it on a rolling basis with excerpts from the document.

Squeaky little bastard Ben Shapiro on Wednesday told his dickhead podcast listeners that Mike Pence replacement JD Vance had to admit his boss, convicted felon former President Trump, lost in 2020 because he had to appease the Orange God Emperor or risk his wrath. “The one issue where I think that Tim Walz may have scored some points, particularly late in the debate, was on the issue of January 6th. Now, again, this issue is basically that issue. I don’t think that many Americans are sitting around thinking about 2020 and January 6th or any of it,” Shapiro said, very rapidly as usual.

“However, one of the problems that JD Vance has to shoulder when it comes to debate situations like this is because the person who is his running mate has said over and over and over that he did not lose in 2020, JD, who I think knows that Donald Trump lost in 2020, is forced to not just say the obvious thing. The obvious thing is, yes, Donald Trump legally lost. By the laws of the United States, he lost, which is why he left office. I can have questions about it. Those questions became irrelevant the minute that Donald Trump lost the election. The state votes were certified by Congress in a legal process, and then he left. Right? But because Donald Trump doesn’t wanna hear that from JD Vance, JD is forced into the bizarre position of having to misdirect,” Shapiro continued talking fast.

A few excerpts from Vanity Fair reporter Gabe Sherman’s story about how his screenplay The Apprentice got financed, filmed, and finally got a release date in the US this month, starting with how he began working on it in 2017 and then shopped it around Hollywood, without a lot of luck:

Then he met director Ali Abbasi and shook on it. Actors Sebastian Stan, Maria Bakalova, and Jeremy Strong signed on. Next it was time to find some financing to start filming.

🚨 BREAKING: Senior Trump Advisor reacts to credible first-hand reports of Kamala Harris’ Husband physically assaulting women, says it is “disturbing and disqualifying”

Alina Habba calls for Kamala to drop out of the 2024 race: “I think you have to.”

Doug Emhoff is a monster: pic.twitter.com/zfgXnYLBJZ

— Benny Johnson (@bennyjohnson) October 2, 2024

A new Marquette University survey of likely voters in Wisconsin finds Vice President Kamala Harris leading convicted felon former President Trump 49 to 45 percent in the full field with phone sex guy who lost a lawsuit to get off the ballot Robert F Kennedy Jr in third at 3 percent with the rest of the Russian assets at 1 or 0 percent. Harris is up 52 to 48 percent in the head-to-head vs Trump.

Separately a Susquehanna national poll finds Harris also leading Trump 49 to 45 percent among LVs.

A Berks County, Pennsylvania man wielding a samurai sword was soundly defeated by a state trooper with taser Tuesday morning, like it wasn’t even close, they just zapped the bastard within seconds of encountering him on the front porch of his home, the Reading Eagle reports.

To be fair, however, the fight kind of was not, thanks to 53 year-old Steven L Schoenauer’s wife, who dialed 911 and said her husband specifically wanted to go down in a hail of gunfire rather. Nine troopers showed up, with an ambulance at the ready and, knowing Schoenauer wielded an ancient bladed weapon, they had the tasers locked and loaded. Schoenauer was zapped and charged with two counts each of aggravated and simple assault and reckless endangerment along with weapons offenses. He did at least get to scream “I will end you” and “Come here I’ll show you,” with his shirt off like some really cool scene from Gladiator or 300. They then zapped him from a 15 ft range.

Convicted felon former President Trump’s Doral Golf Club in Miami will host a major Jewish-themed campaign event celebrating commemorating a year since the horrific October 7th attack by Hamas on Southern Israel, according to his money laundering operation campaign website.

“Jewish community leaders will gather to honor the 1,200 lives lost after being taken hostage and killed on that fateful morning one year ago. The event will also remember the victims of antisemitic violence that has continued to afflict communities worldwide since that tragic day. October 7th, 2023, was the day in which the most Jewish people were murdered since the Holocaust. Hamas and other Iranian-backed proxies launched a war, not just against Israel, but against all of our shared values. What we have witnessed in the past year is a battle between the forces of good versus evil. Since the disastrous withdrawal from Afghanistan, we have witnessed nothing but global chaos, as evidenced by Iran’s horrific missile attack on Israel just this past week,” and blah blah blah said the campaign. Love the “horrific” description of the missile attack the Biden-led US military stopped.

Erwin, Tennessee manufacturer Impact Plastics on Monday issued a press release to WJHL saying they express “sympathy for the missing and deceased employees and one contractor during the historic and devastating floods at its facility on Friday, September 27.” The release quoted founder Gerald O’Connor saying “We are devastated by the tragic loss of great employees. Those who are missing or deceased, and their families are in our thoughts and prayers.” The company said they had been monitoring weather conditions on Friday morning as Hurricane Helene approached and that the employees were told to go home as soon as the power went out, per the press release.

“At no time were employees told that they would be fired if they left the facility. For employees who were non-English speaking, bi-lingual employees were among the group of managers who delivered the message,” the release said. Again this was Monday when they put this in a press statement.

On Tuesday employee Jake Ingram told Knox News that’s not quite accurate. “They should’ve evacuated when we got the flash flood warnings, and when they saw the parking lot… We asked them if we should evacuate, and they told us not yet, it wasn’t bad enough.”

“And by the time it was bad enough, it was too late unless you had a four-wheel-drive,” Ingram continued. At least two employees and as many as seven are dead, several of whom were swept away then the tractor trailer they were clinging to the top of was tipped over by the raging flash flood. So yeah, now NBC News reports the Tennessee Bureau of Investigation is opening a criminal probe into Impact upon request of local Judicial District Attorney General Steve Finney.

Top Trump Campaign scumbag Corey Lewandowski had a rough morning on CNN when Jim Acosta pressed him on several topics that were really just simple questions of whether Trump lost the 2020 election and if Haitians are eating people’s pets in Springfield, Ohio and yeah it’s kind of hard to see what if anything might have been gained here for Team Orange in this hit. It was bad.