“Tim Walz had a secret fling with the daughter of a high-ranking Communist official during his 1989 teaching stint in China, DailyMail.com can exclusively reveal. Jenna Wang, 59, claims the VP hopeful showered her with gifts and seduced her at his poky staff accommodation at No 1 High School in Foshan, Guangdong Province. The lovers could not risk holding hands or showing affection in public because Wang’s dad was a high-ranking figure in the Chinese Communist Party who would disown her for fraternizing with a westerner. But their romance blossomed behind closed doors as they sipped tea, made love and listened to George Michael hits – leading the then 24-year-old Wang to dream about marriage and a new life in the United States,” the Daily Mail reports in what is now the third “oppo dump” by the shitty British tabloid this month following their ineffective attempts at “exposing” domestic abuse by Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff against an ex-girlfriend.

“No proposal was forthcoming from the future Minnesota governor, however, and the shame of being treated ‘like a prostitute’ eventually left Wang feeling angry and suicidal, she claims,” which is obviously sad for her but holy shit a 25 year-old man didn’t wan’t to get married? Stop the presses.

Also, was it that Walz was a dick to a woman his age at the time who had higher expectations or that she was the daughter of a local ChiCom shot-caller? How can she have any communist mind control powers over him if she’s upset that he ghosted on her? Who the hell scripts this stupid bullshit?