In a Politico preview of convicted felon former President Trump’s new special picture book, “Save America,” the fat bastard’s page with a photo of him with Facebook Mark Zuckerberg and wife Priscilla Chan is captioned with a rant describing how Zuck “would come to the Oval Office to see me. He would bring his very nice wife to dinners, be as nice as anyone could be, while always plotting to install shameful Lock Boxes in a true PLOT AGAINST THE PRESIDENT… He told me there was nobody like Trump on Facebook. But at the same time, and for whatever reason, steered it against me. We are watching him closely, and if he does anything illegal this time he will spend the rest of his life in prison – as will others who cheat in the 2024 Presidential Election.”

Trump definitely wrote that. Say what you will about him having outsourced his “business” books to ghostwriters. He definitely “penned” that because it’s the same stupid shit he screams about Zuckerberg in Truth Social posts. And the random capitalizations. We’ll give him credit for this. But we still don’t know what the fuck “Lock Boxes” means specifically and probably never will.

For at least the second time this month and the fifth this year, a package containing a large quantity of cocaine was handed over to law enforcement after being found on a beach in Florida, CBS News reports, raising the question of how many hundreds or even thousands of times this year were packages containing large quantities of cocaine not handed over to law enforcement after being found on a beach in Florida but instead cut up and sold or consumed in multi-day binges.

We’re just going to ahead and speculate that whatever happened is actually pretty bad, like considerably worse than we’ve seen it described in print as a “verbal and physical altercation,” if Vance feels compelled to bring it up at a campaign rally when fans are there to be hearing about deporting immigrants and exaggerated rhetoric about crime and inflation, not damage control about something at most tertiary to actually winning the election. Sounds almost as if Vance better be praying Steven Cheung was full of shit when he claimed the campaign has footage of the incident

An 18 year-old Bay St Louis, Mississippi boy and a 16 year-old girl were hospitalized with leg and hip injuries Wednesday after a local cop ran them over with a patrol vehicle, the SunHerald reports.

As you already guessed from the headline, it appears either mostly or entirely wasn’t the cop’s fault as the kids were lying down “watching the sky and stars” in an unlit section of a parking lot near a pier. The buy was able to drive himself to the hospital while the girl was taken away via ambulance.

Spandex wearing grapple freak Jim Jordan on Wednesday sent a subpoena to Mike Nellis, founder of the “White Dudes for Harris” group – and the founder of Authentic, the consultancy that employs Judge Juan Merchan’s daughter – demanding “Authentic Campaigns that refers to the indictment, prosecution, or conviction of President Donald J Trump for the period April 1, 2023, to the present, and all documents and communications between or among Authentic Campaigns or any of its employees, agents, or representatives and Judge Juan Merchan or any of his employees or representatives referring or relating to the indictment, prosecution, or conviction of President Donald J Trump for the period April 1, 2023, to the present,” because Gymbo’s still butthurt over it all.

And do it in all fifty states! https://t.co/zGsVdp3vCh

— General Mike Flynn (@GenFlynn) August 28, 2024

“IT’S ALWAYS FAKE WITH KAMALA. WE’RE DOMINATING HER ON SOCIAL MEDIA, SO SHE MAKES UP A FAKE LIST OF HER NUMBERS VERSUS MY NUMBERS. ALL OF OUR ENGAGEMENT IS REAL AND ORGANIC, WHILE KAMALA HAS TO PAY FOR HER FAKE ENGAGEMENT.”

“WE’RE BEATING HER ‘LIKE A DRUM,’ LIKE WE WILL BEAT HER ON NOVEMBER 5TH. IT’S ALL FAKE, IT’S ALL MISINFORMATION AND DISINFORMATION. WE ARE DESTROYING THE DEMOCRATS ON SOCIAL MEDIA!” posted you know who for no apparent reason on Wednesday.

It’s possible the fat bastard was reacting to an Axios article on Harris’s impressive numbers.

Convicted felon former President Trump’s campaign were issued guidance by Arlington National Cemetery officials on how to conduct themselves prior to their Monday visit to politicize the deaths of 13 service members, specifically telling them that they were not permitted to bring photographers and videographers to the memorial ceremony for the fallen, the Washington Post reports.

“What was abundantly clear cut was: Section 60, no photos and no video,” a Defense Department official said, with Section 60 referring to the part of the cemetery where more recent casualties have been buried. Another official confirmed to the Post that “there was an incident, and a report was filed,” but did not elaborate further on the nature of the report or to whom it was filed. Section 60 is property of the US Army. Officials with the branch did not comment.

A registered Republican North Carolina man is facing a felony charge after he was caught sticking his phone under a 14 year-old girl’s skirt during a Major League Soccer match between the New York Red Bulls and Charolotte FC at Bank of America Stadium, Queen City News reports.

Brian Outland, 48, has hit with a single count of felony secret peeping after a witness spotted him taking a photo up the unsuspecting girl’s skirt. He was released on $5,000 bond early Sunday.

Convicted felon former President Trump on Wednesday appeared to have unquestionably violated the gag order imposed upon him in the DC coup attempt case by “retruthing” a reply from one of his fans showing Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith’s wife. Last December the DC Circuit Court of Appeals upheld the gag order (which remained in effect even while the fat fuck appealed the case) and in its ruling wrote specifically said “the order is affirmed to the extent it prohibits all parties and their counsel from making or directing others to make public statements about – counsel in the case other than the Special Counsel, members of the court’s staff and counsel’s staffs, or the family members of any counsel or staff member – if those statements are made with the intent to materially interfere with, or to cause others to materially interfere with, counsel’s or staff’s work in this criminal case, or with the knowledge that such interference is highly likely to result.

Vice President Kamala Harris’s campaign will launch an ad blitz focused on convicted felon former President Trump’s Project 2025 plan to end American democracy, the Washington Post reports.

Godawful children’s YouTube channel Cocomelon’s atrocities are no longer confined to just the “Yes Yes Playground Song” and other hateful dirges in the digital world as a North Carolina family’s minivan was severely damaged Sunday when the lithium ion battery in a copy of the electronic book “Cocomelon: JJ’s Potty Time” exploded while the van was sitting in the driveway, WSOC reports.

Luckily no one was injured in the incident as the Williams family of Hildebran in Burke County had returned home from church about 20 minutes earlier. The inferno caused at minimum thousands of dollars of damages to the van’s interior. “The world itself is moving to lithium batteries, which propose some of these troubles to the fire service,” local fire Chief Bobby Craig said. “I don’t know if there is – other than trying to keep them cool – that there is any precautions.” The book, which again is branded with one of the worst YouTube channels in all creation, did not bear any warning label.

Mike Pence replacement JD Vance on Tuesday told reporters that Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith should be ashamed of himself for having the audacity to get a federal grand jury to return a superseding indictment against convicted felon former President Trump over his failed post-2020 election coup attempt and laid out Trump’s strategy for beating the charges: Winning so he can fire Smith and order the Justice Department to drop the case against him.

Republican Georgia operative Brian Robinson tells Politico Playbook he gets the strategy his fellow right wingers don’t in Vice President Kamala Harris and running mate Minnesota Governor Tim Walz’s bus tour of rural southern Georgia on Wednesday: “We see them putting resources in Forsyth County, a heavily Republican county. Republicans are sort of confused: ‘Why are they wasting this money?’ And I’m like, they’re not trying to win Forsyth County. They’re trying to cut the margins.”

Robinson doubts the push will work, but doesn’t actually say why. He continued telling Playbook the value he sees, saying “It’s not just about the voters in South Georgia they touch. It’s about the visual that goes to the rest of America of her being in the community, of her wanting to connect with rural America. I think there’s a symbolic push that goes well beyond the hands she shakes.”

Not for nothing but maybe Robinson’s first instinct, the mathematical one, is closer to the truth than the “symbolic” one. That this is the kind of thing a campaign feeling comfortable about its level of support in its natural base areas would do to pad the margins. That if Harris was trying to just squeak out Georgia would be going on a bus tour of Black churches in Metro Atlanta.

“We would like to express our heartfelt thanks and appreciation to President Donald J Trump for his presence at the recent Section 60 gathering, honoring our children and their fallen brothers and sisters. On the three-year anniversary of the Abbey Gate bombing, the President and his team conducted themselves with nothing but the utmost respect and dignity for all of our service members, especially our beloved children. We had given our approval for President Trump’s official videographer and photographer to attend the event, ensuring these sacred moments of remembrance were respectfully captured and so we can cherish these memories forever.”

“We are deeply grateful to the President for taking the time to honor our children and for standing alongside us in our grief, offering his unwavering support during such a difficult time. His compassion and respect meant more than words can express,” says the text of an open letter/image posted to convicted felon former President Trump’s Truth Social feed late Tuesday, plainly meant as damage control for the altercation between the Orange Tyrant’s minions and cemetery officials.

It was signed “with sincere gratitude,” by “Darin Hoover, Father of Staff Sgt Taylor Hoover, Kelly Barnett, Mother of Staff Sgt Taylor Hoover, Christy Shamblin, Mother-in-Law of Sgt Nicole Gee, Misty Rose Fuoco, Sister of Sgt Nicole Gee,” and “Cheryl Juels, Aunt of Sgt Nicole Gee.”

Interesting how it’s just two of the 13 Gold Star families who gave him permission that wasn’t actually theirs to give. More interesting is the lack of denial of any altercation having occurred.

Melee weapon-loving Hawaiians have been marching around in public with all sorts of ridiculous bladed implements in public since the state loosened open-carry laws in May, the AP reports.

“I get stopped probably two or three times on an average evening walk and just have a conversation about what gun laws are in Hawaii and what the weapons laws are,” said Waikiki gun rights activist Andrew Roberts as he carried around a halberd, a kind of spear-axe hybrid you would see in the background on a weapons rack in a movie set during medieval times. It wasn’t clear what the point he was trying to make was about connecting the Second Amendment to pre-industrial weaponry.

“On a recent Saturday morning, a halberd-toting Roberts gathered with other coalition members in Waikiki’s sprawling Kapiolani Park. A few carried samurai swords. One had a butterfly knife – also known as a balisong, prominent in martial arts in the Philippines, where many Hawaii residents have roots. A wooden, Scottish sword dangled from the waist of a man in a red kilt,” the AP wrote of the Waikiki weapons club as they gathered to chat about Second Amendment freedoms.

House Democrats are urging their MAGA colleagues to please by all means try to impeach President Joe Biden for their made-up bullshit, inviting more of the debacle that had embarrassed the right wingers for most of the past 18 months as they repeatedly failed to make it a thing, Axios reports.

“If they actually take it to a vote, then individual [Republican] members are going to be politically punished,” House Oversight Ranking member Congressman Jamie Raskin said.

It is DOJ policy that the Department of Justice should not take any action that will influence an election within 60 days of that election – but they just have taken such action. Voting starts on September 6th, therefore the DOJ has violated its own policy – Election…

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 28, 2024

…Election Interference. All of these Comrade Kamala/Biden Hoaxes should be immediately DISMISSED!”

The unofficial Justice Department 60-day rule doesn’t apply in this case for two reasons.  First, the case is already underway and nothing has changed.  Second, and perhaps more pertinently, August 27th marks 70 days until Election Day, November 5th.

Donald Trump is not a well man.

Two ambiguously named special interest groups will take undertake a multimedia ad campaign in swing states major cities to try to sap support from Democratic Presidential nominee Kamala Harris by focusing on her support for a ban on menthol cigarettes, NBC News reports.

Purchased by Building America’s Future and Americans for Consumer Protection, the ads will appear on rolling billboards through Black communities, traditional billboards, digital ads, text messages, and mailers with the theme that Democrats are meddling in personal lives. “Instead of solving the problems that matter to you, Kamala Harris and D.C. Democrats are coming after your menthol cigarettes. We’ve got bigger problems to deal with, and so do Democrats,” a narrator says in one ad that flashes the words “fentanyl crisis” and “border crisis” on the screen.

We’ll ignore the weirdness of having your smiling family pose around the grave of a loved one while a grinning politician gives a thumbs-up on the anniversary of your horrific death at the hands of a suicide bomber.  That’s tasteless enough.

Allow us to point you to the grave of USMC Maj. (post.) Moises Navas to Trump’s right.  Navas and another Marine were killed in March 2020, while Trump was President, fighting ISIS in mountain caves in southern Iraq.  Unlike other Presidents who regularly made an effort to greet the remains of soldiers who died in service of our nation, though, Donald Trump stopped attending the “dignified returns” services at Dover Air Force Base soon after he took office.  A migrant from Panama, Navas was one of the “losers and suckers” who gave his life for the United States.  That was the first time Trump had been near Navas’s remains, thought he uses Navas’s sacrifice against ISIS as a campaign talking point about how tough Trump was against an enemy.