A Florida man on Friday treated New Yorkers to a little slice of his home state’s lifestyle by trespassing onto the rooftop terrace of a 20-story commercial building in Midtown Manhattan and hurling the furniture over the edge for no apparent reason whatsoever, the Daily News reports.

NYPD officers cuffed Jean Oliver, 33, of West Park, Florida and charged him with burglary, reckless endangerment, criminal mischief, and criminal trespass. Luckily no pedestrians were injured in the incident. No word if Oliver was high on bath salts or some shit, but come on. He’s from Florida.

Misdemeanant Capitol rioter Chuck Hand, who made a big huffy exit from a debate against more establishment-y opponent Wayne Johnson last week, was defeated by a pretty wide margin in Tuesday’s runoff, losing 66 to 34 percent in the runoff, the Associated Press projects.

A man flying from Bengaluru, India to San Francisco on Air India earlier this month nearly had his digestive tract completely destroyed by inflight Indian cuisine, possibly even killing him if he had ended up consuming the whole during the 14 hour-plus trans-Pacific flight, KTVU reports.

Luckily for Mathures Paul there was a piece of sharp metal in the bowl, halting him from eating the whole serving of roasted sweet potato and fig chaat that would’ve done Shiva knows what to him.

Air India customer service exec Rajesh Dogra confirmed to KTVU that a “foreign object was found in the meal of a guest aboard one of our flights. After investigation, it has been identified as coming from the vegetable processing machine used at the facilities of our catering partner. We have worked with our catering partner to strengthen measures to prevent any recurrence, including more frequent checking of the processor especially after chopping of any hard vegetable. Air India has engaged with the affected customer and deeply apologizes for this experience.” It’s not clear if Paul was offered a voucher for unlimited roasted sweet potato and fig chaat as recompense.

In a state where Jim Jordan can’t pass the bar exam, a lawyer who took a shit in a Pringles can which he dumped in the parking lot of a civil rights group can apply to the Ohio Bar to get his license reinstated after his state Supreme Court sanction expired, the Columbus Dispatch reports.

In an impressive feat of aiming, Jack Blakeslee of Noble County crapped into a Pringles can which he then threw at Haven of Hope victim advocacy center in Cambridge in November 2021.  Blakeslee claimed he regularly deposited his feces in Pringles potato chip cans and threw them at various locations around the region, y’know, like a completely normal hobby.  Surveillance cameras caught him driving his vehicle as he threw the can at the building.

Unsurprisingly, the Ohio Supreme Court did not believe Blakeslee’s claim of scatological scatterings and questioned his fitness to practice law in the state.  But in Florida North, flinging poo like a chimpanzee is acceptable behavior for Bar members.

A high-ranking Chicago law enforcement official told the local ABC affiliate that convicted felon and Happy Days hater Donald Trump will stay in Chicago during the Republican National Convention, which is being held in Milwaukee.  Three officials said that Chicago city officials have been planning for weeks for Trump to spend the night in Chicago and commute to Milwaukee for appearances.

A campaign spokesperson Karoline Leavitt on Tuesday “clarified” Trump’s plans, saying “The president is planning to stay in Milwaukee for the Convention*.”

[*provided he isn’t in jail or on house arrest in New York.]

Democratic Delaware Congresswoman Lisa Blunt Rochester on Tuesday officially filed to run to succeed retiring Senator Tom Carper in November, the Delaware News Journal reports.

Coupled with President Joe Biden’s new executive order offering a path to citizenship for the migrant spouses of US citizens, another order will also allow DACA recipients and “Dreamers,” to obtain employment-based nonimmigrant visas quicker, provided they’ve graduated from an accredited higher education institution in the United States and have a high-skilled job offer from a US employer in their field of study, ABC News reports on the right kind of immigration enforcement.

“Today, June 18, the Board of Elders of Gateway Church accepted the resignation of Robert Morris, the senior pastor. In addition, the Board has retained the law firm of Haynes and Boone, LLP, to conduct an independent, thorough, and professional review of the report of past abuse to ensure we have a complete understanding of the events from 1982-1987. Regretfully, prior to Friday, June 14, the elders did not have all the facts of the inappropriate relationship between Morris and the victim, including her age at the time and the length of the abuse. The elders’ prior understanding was that Morris’s extramarital relationship, which he had discussed many times throughout his ministry, was with ‘a young lady’ and not abuse of a 12-year-old child. Even though it occurred many years before Gateway was established, as leaders of the church, we regret that we did not have the information that we now have,” says a statement from the Board of Elders at Gateway Church, coming just days after Pastor Robert Morris, a former member of convicted felon former President Trump’s “Spiritual Advisory Board,” admitted that he sexually molested a 12 year-old girl back in 1980.

That’s not really MAGA of him to resign. The MAGA thing to do is to scream that he doesn’t know her, he never met her, this is all a fraud and Biden is pulling the strings. What a loser.

“Business Executives and Shareholder Representatives should be 100% behind Donald Trump! Anybody that’s not should be FIRED for incompetence!” fascist Frito Donald Trump blurted out on his failing social media platform before citing lines from a Wall Street Journal article about Joe Biden wanting American corporations to pay more in taxes rather than hiding funds in paper losses or stock buybacks.

The New York Court of Appeals–the highest court in the state that’s oddly not named the state Supreme Court–declined to lift the gag order imposed by Judge Juan Merchan on convicted felon and the top-ranked rapist in the Republican Party Donald Trump, CBS News reports.  The court issued a one-sentence statement in dismissing the appeal, saying it was declined “upon the ground that no substantial constitutional question is directly involved.”

Trump wants the gag order lifted so he can go on a spree spouting baseless accusations and lies during the campaign season to characterize his 34 New York felony convictions as a plot pulled off by nefarious Democrats, led by the simultaneously addled/criminal mastermind Joe Biden, to denigrate Trump, who has a thirty-year record of questionable business practices that likely merited criminal charges of their own at the time.

Two of felonious punk Donald Trump’s stable of lawyers have again pleaded not guilty to felony charges related to the conspiracy to submit fake electors for Trump rather than the electors for Joe Biden, who won Arizona in 2020, NBC news reports.

Rudy Giuliani’s fart taster Jenna Ellis and Sinclair Broadcasting in-house Trump advisor Boris Epshteyn were the final members of the alleged 18-member conspiracy to enter pleas in the case; all said they were not guilty.  Ellis, however, has already pleaded guilty to similar charges relating to undermining the votes of Georgians in Fulton County, and these charges outline a similar scheme as the one run by Trump supporters in Georgia.

After fending off financial problems for years, electric car manufacturing start-up Fisker filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy reorganization on Tuesday, another sign of the struggles in the electric car market as manufacturers continue to struggle with supply chain delays and battery issues, the Associated Press reports.

The reorganization comes as Fisker sales, like those of many electric vehicles, have slid as consumers lean toward hybrid vehicles rather than all-electric cars.  The company lists $500 million to $1 billion in assets and up to $500 million in debts.  It becomes the second electric car manufacturer to file for bankruptcy in the last year:  Ohio’s Lordtown Motor Co. filed for protection one year ago after funding problems arose as it took over an abandoned General Motors factory.

House Ethics Committee press release: “On April 9, 2021, the Committee announced it had initiated a review into allegations that Representative Matt Gaetz may have engaged in sexual misconduct and/or illicit drug use, shared inappropriate images or videos on the House floor, misused state identification records, converted campaign funds to personal use, and/or accepted a bribe, improper gratuity, or impermissible gift, in violation of House Rules, laws, or other standards of conduct. The Committee deferred its consideration of the matter in response to a request from the Department of Justice (DOJ). In May 2023, the Committee reauthorized its investigation after DOJ withdrew its deferral request. There has been a significant and unusual amount of public reporting on the Committee’s activities this Congress. Much of that reporting has been inaccurate. The Committee’s investigations are conducted confidentially, but the Committee’s confidentiality rules do not prohibit witnesses from disclosing information about the Committee’s requests or conversations with Committee investigators. The Committee is confident in the integrity of its process. Representative Gaetz has categorically denied all of the allegations before the Committee.”

“Notwithstanding the difficulty in obtaining relevant information from Representative Gaetz and others, the Committee has spoken with more than a dozen witnesses, issued 25 subpoenas, and reviewed thousands of pages of documents in this matter. Based on its review to date, the Committee has determined that certain of the allegations merit continued review. During the course of its investigation, the Committee has also identified additional allegations that merit review.”

“Accordingly, the Committee is reviewing allegations pursuant to Committee Rules 14(a)(3) and 18(a) that Representative Gaetz may have: engaged in sexual misconduct and illicit drug use, accepted improper gifts, dispensed special privileges and favors to individuals with whom he had a personal relationship, and sought to obstruct government investigations of his conduct. The Committee will take no further action at this time on the allegations that he may have shared inappropriate images or videos on the House floor, misused state identification records, converted campaign funds to personal use, and/or accepted a bribe or improper gratuity.”

An Alabama 18 year-old’s awesome senior class trip to Italy – where there’s no drinking age unlike us here in America – was ruined when he plunged down a 60 foot cliff, Fox News reports.

It was definitely a total bummer for Hayden Hill and probably for the other kids on the trip too since their chaperones probably put them on lockdown and shit after Hill went off the cliff.

“Eventually, at some point, it kind of sloped off, and I fell off a 60-foot cliff,” Hill told the “Fox and Friends First” early morning crew about how he almost died. Now his summer is ruined too because of a fucking broken femur, dislocated hip, and fractured ankle. Hill’s dad, Chris Hicks, said it was annoying to have to try to communicate with the Italian doctors but pretended that Tommy Tuberville was somehow useful in helping to get Hayden back home from the ordeal. “The bilingual situation wasn’t great, but we had a lot of help from our local senators [and Congressmen] – Dale Strong, Tommy Tuberville and their staffs. I have a friend of mine – that’s Alabama Representative Richie Horton – that really helped us trying to get involved with the embassy over there and make the communication, go along and arrange the transport to get out,” said Hicks.

In a Monday article titled “Jailing Trump before RNC convention would seal red victory, GOP predicts,” the Washington Examiner quotes from far right dipshit Wisconsin Congressman Derrick Van Orden who warns libs are going to be very, very sorry if they throw the fat fuck in jail, because if they strike him down he will become more powerful than they ever could have imagined.

“I think the Democrat Party better be very cautious because if the [past] sitting president of the United States can’t attend the convention in person, they are essentially electing Donald Trump as president. I think it’ll fire up the Republican base to the point where it’ll be unstoppable. And I think independent folks, like I just said, are going to say, ‘We don’t want this. This is not the United States of America that we want to live in. We want to be able to have free and open discourse between political parties without having to worry about being jailed,’” said Van Orden, who himself quite possibly entered restricted grounds during the January 6th insurrection.

Committeeman Richard Porter echoed that bravado, saying “If that judge compounds the unfairness of the trial with a jail sentence or that otherwise restricts his freedom to campaign, righteous anger at the injustice will wash away Biden and the corrupt establishment in November.” Utah Congressman Blake Moore said simply “it would be a bad idea” for “Democrats” to jail Trump.

We guess they really want to find out. We do too. Little excites us more than seeing an outpouring of “righteous anger at the injustice” from the MAGA crowd. We’re just as confident as they are about the reaction to their Orange Allah being confined. Not so much about the electoral outcome.

Not worth it. https://t.co/bRXutup0an

— Breitbart News (@BreitbartNews) June 18, 2024