Presumptive GOP presidential nominee in definitively convicted felon Donald Trump will visit Capitol Hill on Thursday, his first trip to the scene of the Republican-led domestic terrorist attack on Congress he directed as part of his effort to undermine the 2020 election results.

Per the Washington Post, Trump will attempt to interfere with legislative operations in DC to unite the Republicans in the House and the Senate around his obstructionist agenda, or as a Trump campaign operative said, move “forward focused on how Republicans can work together to advance policies to save America.”  The convict and adjudicated rapist, facing sentencing July 11th, traditionally demands Republicans block all legislation.

Longshot Georgia Republican Congressional candidate Chuck Hand, fighting Wayne Johnson for the nomination to take on dominant 16-term incumbent Democrat Sanford Bishop for the 2nd District seat, needed to make a name for himself.  Like most Republicans, he didn’t want to do it by, say, proposing popular landmark legislation or even agreeing to work for bipartisan compromise.  Nope, as seen in the Georgia Public Broadcasting clip above, Hand decided to go for the performance art angle and make a spectacularly meaningless speech in which he said he was going to make a difference in Washington.  “The choice is yours:  It’s the dollar versus the change,” Hand announced.  “This is where I get back in my truck and head back to southwest Georgia ’cause I got two races to win.”  And then he walked off the set to the bemusement of the moderators.

Jayson Boebert, the ex-husband of carpetbagging Colorado Congresswoman and theater buff(er) Lauren, pled down to a misdemeanor charge of reckless endangerment for a series of criminal acts that happened over days involving a weapons charge; he’ll pay a $40 fine and have 180 days unsupervised probation.

According to Westworld, Boebert benefited from a revision of his son’s account of the domestic violence incident that occurred in the family home in Rifle.  In the initial complaint, Tyler Boebert claimed his father aimed a gun at him as he called 9-1-1.  Later, however, Tyler Boebert recanted that part of the story.  Tyler Boebert faces his own set of felonies for a series of thefts and vehicle break-ins.

Netflix on Wednesday announced world champion eaters Joey Chestnut and Takeru Kobayashi will face off in the greatest hot dog consumption battle of all time on Labor Day, WNBC reports.

The announcement comes just a day after the fucking worms at Nathan’s banned 16-time July 4th Coney Island contest champ Chestnut from the for promoting a “rival” brand of vegan hot dogs.

Alcoholic former “Judge” Jeannine Pirro on Wednesday falsely claimed to the Fox News audience that convicted felon former President Trump forgave Hillary Clinton and did not try for four years to prosecute her for whatever he could only to fail again and again and again to make it happen.

House Republicans voted to hold Attorney General Merrick Garland in contempt of Congress on Wednesday for failing to comply with a bullshit subpoena for the audio of President Joe Biden’s interview with documents fuckup special counsel Robert Hur. There is zero chance that Garland will actually be prosecuted by his own Justice Department for this as the audio is already subject to executive privilege and thus a matter for the courts. Just one GOP member voted nay.

The National Weather Service on Monday issued a “FLASH FLOOD EMERGENCY” and not just a watch or a warning for the regions north of Miami amid a freaking torrential downpour, writing “Turn around, don’t drown when encountering flooded roads. Most flood deaths occur in vehicles. Stay away or be swept away. Canals and culverts can become unstable and unsafe. Please report observed flooding to local emergency services or law enforcement and request they pass this information to the National Weather Service when you can do so safely.”

A lawyer working for the Laramie County Attorney’s Office tells the Wyoming Tribune-Eagle he isn’t sure yet if state law definitely prohibits an artificial intelligence that some local attention whore put on the ballot from running for mayor of the state’s capital and largest city, Cheyenne.

“We’re reviewing all options,” Brad Lund told the Tribune-Eagle on Monday. “Ultimately, Wyoming law will decide the matter,” adding he thinks sometime early next month he’ll know whether VIC, which stands for Virtual Integrated Citizen, can stand for the November mayoral election. VIC’s “creator,” local man Victor Miller, who prefers the term “meat avatar,” filed the paperwork to run the custom ChatGPT personality because state law doesn’t expressly prohibit a non-voter from running for a municipal office. VIC tells the Tribune-Eagle it’d be more of a team with Miller if they were to win, saying in an email that “As an AI, I bring unique strengths to the role, such as impartial decision-making, data-driven policies and the ability to analyze information rapidly and accurately. However, it’s important to recognize the value of human experience and empathy and leadership. So ideally, an AI and human partnership would be the most beneficial for Cheyenne.” Fucking weird.

What's good for the goose, is good for the Garland.

Merrick Garland might find himself facing four months in federal prison. pic.twitter.com/kFKMQ2ZH5q

— Charlie Kirk (@charliekirk11) June 12, 2024

“Senate Finance Committee Chair Ron Wyden, D-Ore, today launched a new investigation of top Trump official Jared Kushner’s investment firm Affinity Partners, which reported that 99 percent of the billions of dollars it manages comes from foreign sources, primarily the sovereign wealth funds of Saudi Arabia, the United Arab Emirates, and Qatar. In a new letter, Senator Wyden sought records and information pertaining to the tens of millions in payments Kushner is receiving from the Saudis and other foreign sources every year while exploiting private investment fund disclosure loopholes to shield the arrangement from public scrutiny. The letter also noted that the firm’s reliance on foreign investors raises concerns that Middle Eastern governments are using payments to Affinity executives as a means to influence Kushner and other politically powerful individuals.”

“Senator Wyden wrote to Affinity Partners Chief Financial Officer Lauren Key: ‘It is deeply concerning that several Middle Eastern governments are using funds managed by Affinity as a means to pay tens of millions of dollars in fees every year to former President Trump’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner, creating significant conflicts of interest and potential counterintelligence risks. These arrangements also raise concerns that Affinity’s exclusively foreign funded private investment funds are being exploited as a loophole by Mr Kushner and other former US government officials as a means to avoid complying with the Foreign Agents Registration Act and other US laws requiring US persons to disclose payments from foreign governments,'” says a statement from the Senate Finance Committee on an investigation into Kush being launched better late than never.

Skeletal white collar criminal Rick Scott is leading within the margin of error against Dem Congresswoman Debbie Murcarsel-Powell among likely voters in his reelection race as a new Florida Atlantic University survey finds Scott ahead by just 45 to 43 percent among likely voters.

Two months ago Scott led 53 to 36 percent. “In April, a lot of people didn’t know who Mucarsel-Powell was. Her name recognition has improved considerably. With that, the support for her has improved,” said FAU political scientist Kevin Wagner. “If that trend line holds it suggests that it could be a competitive race. It’s still June, so we’ll see how that turns out.” Of course it’s Florida and Scott’s almost certain to get reelected. If all this poll does is force Republicans to spend more needed elsewhere to defend the deeply unpopular Squidward-looking son of a bitch it’s still a win.

House Republicans might be able to scrape together enough votes Wednesday to hold Attorney General Merrick Garland in contempt for not handing them a tape of Joe Biden’s interview with documents fuckup special counsel Robert Hur. They might have the votes, they might not.

“Remember when that Sicko Kathy Griffin made the rounds parading my BEHEADED head when I was President?! The radical-left CHEERED! Obama and Biden were SILENT! And the Fake News BLASTED it everywhere! The SAD and HORRIFIC TRUTH is that this is STILL the Sick Dream of every Trump-Deranged lunatic out there! > STAND WITH TRUMP > And it’s not just me they want gone, THEY’RE REALLY COMING AFTER YOU! SICK SICK SICK!” writes convicted felon former President Trump’s campaign team in a fundraising email headlined “HAUL OUT THE GUILLOTINE!”

If Kathy Griffin actually held his severed (not “BEHEADED”) head then… Well he already did this whole thing where an email was worded as if he had already been murdered by his enemies.

Public health officials in Denmark have decided there is such a thing as too spicy and have ordered a recall of three flavors of instant ramen made by Korean food processor Samyang: Buldak 3x Spicy and Hot Chicken, 2x Spicy and Hot Chicken, and Hot Chicken Stew, the BBC reports.

“We understand that the Danish food authority recalled the products, not because of a problem in their quality but because they were too spicy,” a Samyang rep told the BBC, adding “The products are being exported globally. But this is the first time they have been recalled for the above reason.”

The Danish Veterinary and Food Administration said it had assessed the levels of capsaicin (the compound naturally occurring in chili peppers) in a single packet to be “so high that they pose a risk of the consumer developing acute poisoning… “If you have the products, you should discard them or return them to the store where they were purchased.” We weren’t aware that capsaicin poisoning was actually a thing since, well, it’s hard to imagine someone being able to consume enough sriracha where other adverse effects wouldn’t do the job first. So we’ll just assume that “poisoning” is their euphemism for screaming in agony for milk and then howling in pain on the toilet for a day.

BREAKING: Bragg and Biden violated campaign finance law. https://t.co/JABBcxcHo1

— Stephen Miller (@StephenM) June 12, 2024

White nationalist former Trump speechwriter Stephen Miller on Wednesday announced his America First Legal something let’s just call it a slush fund filed a new you’ll never hear about it again because it’ll languish for probably about a year before the FEC board quietly dismisses it by which time Miller’s team will have already filed dozens of other pleas for media attention and more importantly donations from rubes that will also almost universally end in similar failure.

Miller did not at any point address why this you’ll never hear about it again wasn’t filed at any point over the last year and a half since it was known that Bragg’s office was investigating his Orange God Emperor but it’s not like any of their fans and donors are asking such questions.

“The Consumer Price Index for All Urban Consumers (CPI-U) was unchanged in May on a seasonally adjusted basis, after rising 0.3 percent in April, the US Bureau of Labor Statistics reported. Over the last 12 months, the all items index increased 3.3 percent before seasonal adjustment. More than offsetting a decline in gasoline, the index for shelter rose in May, up 0.4 percent for the fourth consecutive month. The index for food increased 0.1 percent in May. The food away from home index rose 0.4 percent over the month, while the food at home index was unchanged. The energy index fell 2.0 percent over the month, led by a 3.6-percent decrease in the gasoline index. The index for all items less food and energy rose 0.2 percent in May, after rising 0.3 percent the preceding month. Indexes which increased in May include shelter, medical care, used cars and trucks, and education. The indexes for airline fares, new vehicles, communication, recreation, and apparel were among those that decreased over the month,” says the monthly BLS inflation report for May.

The 0 percent increase is under the 0.1 percent expected, per CNBC and it’s obvious that President Trump’s skyrocketing poll numbers are the reason. The inflation industry knows they’re in big trouble if Trump is reelected as he’s already guaranteed to make it punishable by death to raise prices on the everyday essentials that hardworking American families need. So now they’re trying to pretend they’re on their best behavior but it’s not going to work because he’s already on to the inflationists and future US Attorney General Ken Paxton already has an eye on which ones will die on live television (and streaming via RSBN) first. Contribute $47 to the Trump 2024 campaign now to vote in a poll for the most gruesome and painful execution method. Retribution can be yours, patriot.

National Zero will resume our regular coverage after this maybe a little forced continuation of handing credit for current positive economic news to Trump’s largely mediocre poll numbers.

“Mark Adams Prieto, 58, of Prescott, was indicted by a federal grand jury today on Firearms Trafficking, Transfer of a Firearm for Use in a Hate Crime, and Possession of an Unregistered Firearm. The indictment alleges that, between January 2024 and May 2024, Prieto had discussions with two individuals working with the Federal Bureau of Investigation to devise a plan to commit a mass shooting of African Americans and other minorities to incite a race war prior to the 2024 United States Presidential Election. Prieto did not know the individuals were working with the government, but instead believed that they shared his racist beliefs and wanted to commit a mass shooting to incite a race war. The targeted event was a concert in Atlanta that was going to be held on May 14 and May 15, 2024,” says a press release from the Arizona US Attorney’s office.

“The indictment further alleges that, having discussed specific details about the planned attack, Prieto sold two rifles to one of the individuals, an AK-style rifle on February 25, 2024, and an AR-style rifle on March 24, 2024. During the entire investigation, the Federal Bureau of Investigation closely monitored Prieto’s movements. On May 14, 2024, Prieto was stopped by law enforcement driving east from Arizona through New Mexico along Interstate 40. Prieto was in possession of seven firearms and was taken into federal custody,” the release continues, detailing the charges and that Prieto (obviously) faces a shit ton of time in the joint, almost certainly the rest of his life.

Less obvious is why the fuck this idiot thought massacring minority concertgoers in Atlanta was going to somehow end up being a net positive electorally for his Orange Fuhrer in November but let’s not overthink it considering the asshole recruited federal informants/agents for the attack.

Kremlin spokeweasel Dmitry Peskov of Tuesday told reporters his boss is perfectly safe flying around on Russian aircraft after two high profile “hard landings” that claimed the lives of Iranian President Ibrahim Raisi and Malawian Vice President Saulos Chilima recently, Insider reports.

“The Russian president uses domestic aircraft. These are very reliable vehicles,” said Peskov, even though they’re kind of not, according to public data showing flight safety incidents have more than doubled over the past year, per the global Jet Airliner Crash Data Evaluation Centre (JACDEC), who found that Russians experienced 37 cases in 2022 and 81 in 2023. JACDEC founder and CEO Jan-Arwed Richter isn’t even sure his numbers are capturing the full scope given less-than-reliable reporting amid a shortage of parts wrought by international sanctions. “These numbers only reflect cases that became public. There is still a dark figure of unreported incidents,” Richter told the Telegraph in February. It’s not clear if JACDEC counts the “crash” that ended Wagner mercenary company chief Yevgeny Prigozhin since, you know, we had to use scare quotes on it.

“Folks in the mainstream media are going to love to call Donald Trump a convicted felon. It’s literally been the only thing they’ve been banking on. Obviously, it’s not working,” said RNC co-chair Lara Trump in an interview with Breitbart printed on Tuesday, the very same day another arm of her party put “Hunter Biden is now a convicted felon” in a bold, browser-default typeface at the top of their page advertising a new “rereleased” orange prison jumpsuit-colored edition of their t-shirts advertising a fictitious “Biden & Son” firm’s services in “Selling out America since 1973.”

Convicted felon former President Trump on Monday admitted in his pre-sentencing interview with a New York City probation officer that he still has a handgun in his possession in Florida, a federal felony as he has not turned it in to Palm Beach police as required following his conviction in Manhattan last month, CNN reports, adding that a New York official told them the matter “will be referred to local authorities in Florida to take whatever steps are necessary.”