Israeli Defense Minister Israel Katz on Wednesday announced that Iranian Intelligence Minister Esmail Khatib had been canceled in a strike, the latest of the Islamic Republic’s top goons to be exploded following the pew-pewing of security official Ali Larijani and the head of the paramilitary Revolutionary Guard’s all-volunteer Basij force, the Associated Press reports on the easy part.

Google Gemini declares only GOP senators violate hate speech policy, zero Democrats, author claims https://t.co/MOJunXipws

— Fox News (@FoxNews) March 18, 2026

An anonymous Trump minion tells Axios that the “risk tolerance” for increased oil prices is a lot higher in Israel than it is in the US and that’s where the split will happen if the two corrupt dictators Donald and Benjamin Netanyahu begin to diverge on their respective strategic goals.

“Israel doesn’t hate the chaos. We do. We want stability. Netanyahu? Not so much, especially in Iran, they hate the Iranian government a lot more than we do,” said the White House official.

Prior to MAGA psychopath Joe Kent’s unsubtly antisemitic resignation letter on Tuesday, another senior advisor told the bullet point factory that the team “are cognizant of the appearance of doing Israel’s bidding. We’re not. But we understand the perception and it’s not helpful.”

Republican Hall County, Georgia Sheriff Gerald Couch, who’s gotta be at least in his mid-60s, was suspended this week following his 10:30 AM arrest last month for driving a county-owned vehicle after having slammed at least three canned Four Loko alcoholic energy drinks, 11 Alive reports.

Four Loko comes in 25 oz cans and is available in flavors including Blue Razz, Swedish Fish, Sour Warheads, Electric Lemonade, and Fruit Punch, among others, with ABV content ranging from 6 to 14 percent, depending on the state in which it is sold. Georgia’s probably on the higher end, as Couch blew a 0.0212 on the breathalyzer test. It was a state trooper who administered it and cuffed the sheriff, as one of Couch’s own deputies had first observed him swerving around the road and then followed him to his home, but decided to call the State Patrol to handle his/her boss.

That was very un-MAGA-like of the deputy to have a disinterested outsider enforce the law. Wonder if they’ve been getting any death threats from Couch’s voters for interfering in the next election.

“Arizona Attorney General Kris Mayes today filed criminal charges against KalshiEx LLC and Kalshi Trading LLC, the companies behind the Kalshi prediction markets platform, for operating an illegal gambling business in Arizona without a license as well as for election wagering.’Kalshi may brand itself as a ‘prediction market,’ but what it’s actually doing is running an illegal gambling operation and taking bets on Arizona elections, both of which violate Arizona law,’ said Attorney General Mayes.”

“The 20-count criminal information alleges that Kalshi accepted bets from Arizona residents on a wide range of events in violation of Arizona law. These events included professional and college sporting contests, proposition bets on individual player performance, and whether the SAVE Act would become law. Among the charges are four counts of election wagering, including bets on the 2028 presidential race, the 2026 Arizona gubernatorial race, the 2026 Arizona Republican gubernatorial primary, and the 2026 Arizona Secretary of State race. Arizona law prohibits operating an unlicensed wagering business, and separately bans betting on elections outright.”

“On Thursday, March 12, Kalshi sued the State of Arizona preemptively in an attempt to avoid accountability under Arizona law. ‘Kalshi is making a habit of suing states rather than following their laws. In the last three weeks alone, the company has filed lawsuits against Iowa and Utah, and now Arizona,’ said Attorney General Mayes. ‘Rather than work within the legal frameworks that states like Arizona have established, Kalshi is running to federal court to try to avoid accountability.’ Just last week, a federal judge in Ohio rejected this strategy, denying Kalshi’s request for a preliminary injunction and making clear that the company’s operational convenience does not override a state’s authority to enforce its laws. As Judge Sarah Morrison put it, Kalshi’s concerns were ‘dwarfed by Ohio’s interest in exercising its police power, enforcing its duly-enacted laws, and regulating sports gambling to promote the public welfare,” says the Arizona AG’s office in a press release.

In a final determination certain to be met with shock to those previously under the misconception that the presence of an angry, charging elephant represents a middle- or even longer-term threat to one’s health, the Bradford, England Coroner’s Court – with the help of Zambian Ministry of Tourism officials – concluded that retired teacher Janet Taylor Easton’s tragic July 3, 2025 death at the feet and trunk of an enraged pachyderm happened in “a matter of seconds,” the BBC reports.

Janet Taylor Easton, 67, died along with her New Zealander cousin Alison Taylor, 67, while on an on-foot safari excursion with a larger group in Zambia’s South Luangwa National Park. From the BBC’s article at least it would seem the tour guide had exercised due caution, spotting a solitary female elephant with a near-adult juvenile calf and leading the vacationers on a path downwind and at a measured distance to avoid the beasts. “What happened next is described as happening in a matter of seconds,” Assistant coroner Caroline Chandler said in court as she summarized the Zambian officials’ account. “The tracker saw the elephant charging from behind and shouted towards the scout who fired a warning shot. The elephant did not stop. The elephant reached the group very quickly and Janice fell,” Chandler continued, and no, not a typo. Janice was Janet’s nickname.

So Chandler was kind enough to refer to her as such but at no point anywhere in the BBC’s reporting is the coroner deputy quoted as having mentioned what happened to her cousin, who was also killed by the elephant. You think the Brits would’ve shaken the whole callous disregard for the lives of New Zealanders thing after Gallipoli but evidently Alison wasn’t of much concern. Then there’s the BBC writing that Janice’s “cause of death was traumatic thoracic injuries and elephant attack” which is an interesting mix of exacting medical terminology with what laypeople would understand as fatal.

Really only the Zambians come out of this looking good: The guides who tried to protect the women and the officials who worked with the Bradford coroner who, along with the BBC, look like jackasses.

“The United States has been informed by most of our NATO ‘Allies’ that they don’t want to get involved with our Military Operation against the Terrorist Regime of Iran, in the Middle East, this, despite the fact that almost every Country strongly agreed with what we are doing, and that Iran cannot, in any way, shape, or form, be allowed to have a Nuclear Weapon. I am not surprised by their action, however, because I always considered NATO, where we spend Hundreds of Billions of Dollars per year protecting these same Countries, to be a one way street – We will protect them, but they will do nothing for us, in particular, in a time of need. Fortunately, we have decimated Iran’s Military.

“Their Navy is gone, their Air Force is gone, their Anti-Aircraft and Radar is gone and perhaps, most importantly, their Leaders, at virtually every level, are gone, never to threaten us, our Middle Eastern Allies, or the World, again! Because of the fact that we have had such Military Success, we no longer ‘need,’ or desire, the NATO Countries’ assistance – WE NEVER DID! Likewise, Japan, Australia, or South Korea. In fact, speaking as President of the United States of America, by far the Most Powerful Country Anywhere in the World, WE DO NOT NEED THE HELP OF ANYONE!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday, just three days after he demanded their help.

“The United States of America has beaten and completely decimated Iran, both Militarily, Economically, and in every other way, but the Countries of the World that receive Oil through the Hormuz Strait must take care of that passage, and we will help – A LOT! The US will also coordinate with those Countries so that everything goes quickly, smoothly, and well. This should have always been a team effort, and now it will be – It will bring the World together toward Harmony, Security, and Everlasting Peace!” Trump had posted on Saturday, plainly expecting them to help.

Having determined that, like a lot of younger Republican organizations these days, the University of Florida’s College Republicans chapter’s “members engaged in a pattern of conduct that violated its rules and values, including a recent antisemitic gesture,” school student life admins “deactivated” the chapter on Friday, leading the group to retain extra far right former state Representative Anthony Sabatini and sue the school for reactivation in a federal First Amendment complaint filed Monday.

The cancelation, which you might say is a reversal from like literally fucking every single thing heels-wearing Governor Ron DeSantis has ever said and done in regard to public education policy – even down to threatening to reign the “full force of the law” upon on any educational institution in the state that refuses to allow a Turning Point USA chapter to be established – came just days after the group hosted deranged ephebophile antisemite fringe gubernatorial candidate James Fishback.

Suffer through these clowns disingenuously spittling over the importance of voter ID.

The Eleventh Circuit Court of Appeals on Tuesday tossed convicted felon President Trump’s bid to revive his lawsuit against CNN over use of “The Big Lie” after the 2020 election, leaving his only option to try to take it to the Supreme Court, Politico’s Kyle Cheney reports.

From 2022 MAGA Washington State 3rd District election loser-turned-Director of the National Counterterrorism Center Joe Kent, posted on his Twitter account just minutes ago:

“President Trump, After much reflection, I have decided to resign from my position as Director of the National Counterterrorism Center, effective today. I cannot in good conscience support the ongoing war in Iran. Iran posed no imminent threat to our nation, and it is clear that we started this war due to pressure from Israel and its powerful American lobby. I support the values and the foreign policies that you campaigned on in 2016, 2020, 2024, which you enacted in your first term.”

“Until June of 2025, you understood that the wars in the Middle East were a trap that robbed America of the precious lives of our patriots and depleted the wealth and prosperity of our nation. In your first administration, you understood better than any modern President how to decisively apply military power without getting us drawn into never-ending wars. You demonstrated this by killing Qasam Solamani and by defeating ISIS. Early in this administration, high-ranking Israeli officials and influential members of the American media deployed a misinformation campaign that wholly undermined your America First platform and sowed pro-war sentiments to encourage a war with Iran. This echo chamber was used to deceive you into believing that Iran posed an imminent threat to the United States, and that should you strike now, there was a clear path to a swift victory.”

“The Save America Act is one of the most IMPORTANT and CONSEQUENTIAL pieces of legislation in the history of Congress, and America itself. NO MORE RIGGED ELECTIONS! Voter ID, Proof of Citizenship, No Rigged Mail-In Voting (We are the only Country in the World that allows this!), No Men in Women’s Sports, No Transgender MUTILIZATION of our Children. 90 percent to 99 percent ISSUES ALL! Only sick, demented, or deranged people in the House or Senate could vote against THE SAVE AMERICA ACT. If they do, each one of these points, separately, will be used against the user in his/her political campaign for office – A guaranteed loss! Get your Senators, REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT, to VOTE ‘YES’ ON ‘THE SAVE AMERICA ACT.’ I WILL NEVER (EVER!) ENDORSE ANYONE WHO VOTES AGAINST ‘SAVE AMERICA!!!'” posted convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday.

Not the first time he falsely claimed “mutilization” to be a real word.

We applaud President Donald J Trump for what he has done for us! pic.twitter.com/def6xmlybc

— Mel Viljoen International (@melviljoenSA) July 13, 2025

Where to start with these two: Obviously racism and criminal conduct are nothing new to the “Real Housewives” reality show franchise’s legion of current and former sociopaths. Also worth mentioning first is that Afrikaner trash Melany Viljoen, 39, and her husband, Petrus “Peet” Jacobus Viljoen, 57, are not “refugees” under the formal, legal definition of the status given to an estimated 2,000 to 3,500 of the Caucasian Boer-billies since early last year thanks to the “white genocide in South Africa” horseshit that MAGAmericans continue to claim is happening, every single day.

Tangential, but still funny is this:

Republican Ohio Senator Bernie “M4M” Moreno tells Semafor that neckbeard Vice President JD Vance will probably have to show up to the chamber on Tuesday and cast a tie-breaking vote just so Republicans can start a ridiculous days-long charade to make it look like they’re going to make structural changes to the rules in order to pass convicted felon President Trump’s SAVE Act.

“There’s a certain amount of disappointment among some of my colleagues. We should have 53 out of 53” said Moreno. “If you’re a Republican not voting for that, I’m not sure how you still think of yourself as a conservative Republican,” he added, even though he knows full well it’s a dead end.

At least 400 people are dead in Afghanistan’s capital city of Kabul Tuesday after Pakistani bombs targeted a drug rehab facility, the New York Times reports on the other war raging in that neighborhood of the world that got pushed out of the headlines on February 28th.

Tuesday’s horror in Kabul also appears to darkly echo that day’s Tomahawk cruise missile attack on a girls’ elementary school in the southern Iranian city of Minab, targeted erroneously because the building was once part of an adjacent Revolutionary Guard Corps complex: The building housing the “Support and Treatment Center, Omid” had been built by the US military at some point after the 2001 invasion and occupation and, like everything else abandoned during the 2021 withdrawal, was seized by the Taliban. That doesn’t necessarily mean it was or still is a legitimate military target, though Pakistani Information Minister Attaullah Tarar insisted it was being used as an ammunition depot, claiming “visible secondary detonations after the strikes” a telltale indication of such.

Either way 400+ patients trying to get sober and the staff are dead in this bloody year’s crossfire.

Democrats with no awareness to their own states' "ridiculous" fees and taxes complain about gas prices, says Carl Higbie, who proposes his own ideas the government could use to help Americans at the pump right now. @CarlHigbie pic.twitter.com/hbCF3Fw0rc

— NEWSMAX (@NEWSMAX) March 17, 2026

Israeli Defense Minister Israel Katz on Tuesday announced that top Iranian security official Ali Larijani and IRGC Basij militia chief Gholam Reza Soleimani in strikes overnight, the AP reports.

You will not be surprised to learn that, in contradiction to convicted felon President Trump claiming twice on Monday that one of his four living predecessors had in a recent private conversation complimented his unilateral declaration of war on Iran and said “I wish I did that,” spokespeople for former Presidents Bill Clinton, George W Bush, Barack Obama, and Joe Biden denied that their bosses had spoken to Trump at all in recent months in response to CNN having contacted each.

Trump had refused to name which of the four it was but, since there are only four of them and they have the phone numbers of their post-presidential representatives, it wasn’t very hard to falsify.

Note how the headline says “made that jealous former president shit up” rather than “lied about conversation with jealous former president” an editorial choice necessitated by the fact that it is not 2018 but 2026 and the steadily increasing ravages of entropy make it impossible to ascribe intent on Trump’s part. He just as easily could be deliberately lying as he is hallucinating that it happened. Either way the former option bodes just as poorly for the fat bastard because his falsehoods used to be so much more elusive and not so easily dismantled. Like if it were 2018 Trump he would’ve said “foreign leader” and it’d be a waste of time to even try to figure out who it might’ve been.

This is the second time inside of a week that the fat bastard’s lost his own plot and let the media nail him down on a lie. He’s always been mentally ill but this is a milestone on the road.