New Jersey Transit officials are asking the public for answers on why a Bichon-ish dog walked onto one of its trains from Mountain View to Hoboken on Thursday, WNBC reports. The dog was not simply abandoned on the train either as a commuter reported the dog having simply followed him to the platform and then on board. Anyone with info on why the fuck the dog wandered onto the train and more specifically who owns him and is asked to call 1-800-242-0236 or 973-378-6565.

Love the end with this one battleaxe saying the monthly numbers get revised downward all the time and the more cheerful woman telling her the December jobs numbers were revised upward.

Spandex-wearing grapple-freak Jim Jordan on Friday finally subpoenaed Fulton County, Georgia District Attorney Fani Willis because now he thinks she misused federal funds to go on vacations or something with her (likely) boyfriend, special prosecutor Nathan Wade, NBC News reports.

“Instead of using these federal grant funds for the intended purpose of helping at-risk youths, your office sought to use the grant funds to ‘get Macbooks … swag … [and] use it for travel,’” Gym wrote, of course claiming there’s a “whistleblower” in her office who came forward to him recently.

“Moreover, the whistleblower’s direct supervisor stated that these planned expenditures ‘were part of [your] vision.’ These allegations raise serious concerns about whether you were appropriately supervising the expenditure of federal grant funding allocated to your office and whether you took actions to conceal your office’s unlawful use of federal funds,” Jordan continued.

Federal prosecutors have opened a criminal investigation into allegations of sex trafficking against fake wrestling traveling circus mogul and Trump ally Vince McMahon, the Wall Street Journal reports on more “Biden Regime” weaponization of law enforcement against conservative criminals.

Luckily we still had a tab open to this one after the “Johnny MAGA” asshole deleted it, but yeah we had to update this with a screenshot because well it turns out sometimes they are in fact going to stop with this shit. Sometimes, even when they’re a medium deal on MAGA twitter like Johnny.

Former New York City Mayor Bill DeBlasio on Friday solemnly marked a decade since his public murder of Gotham’s official groundhog Staten Island Chuck, telling Semafor’s Kadia Goba in a brief text exchange that “Any event at 7 in the morning featuring an agitated live animal doesn’t end well.”

In related news, one of the dead 2014 Chuck’s successors, 2024 Staten Island Chuck, “predicted” an early spring as did the far more famous 2024 version of Pennsylvania’s Punxsutawney Phil.

A new Fairleigh Dickinson University survey of New Jersey Dem primary voters finds Congressman Andy Kim leading Governor Phil Murphy’s wife Tammy 32 to 20 percent in the race to replace indicted scumbag Senator Bob Menendez, with Menendez himself in third at 9 percent.

Earlier this week New York Magazine asked an anonymous elected official what they thought of Phil Murphy’s very leverage-y tactics to secure support for the missus in the primary. “Do I think she’s the best candidate? No. Do I think it’s a good look for New Jersey? No. If you’re asking me am I going to vote for her? The answer is no,” they said. This person has publicly endorsed Tammy.

In a clip of his pre-taped interview with batshit idiot Maria Bartiromo set to air Sunday on Fox News, disgraced former President Trump says he will not be reappointing Federal Reserve Bank President Jerome Powell to another term should Donald be reelected in November, simply because he thinks Powell “to do something to help the Democrats, if he lowers interest rates,” Bloomberg reports.

Trump first appointed Powell and constantly dogged him to keep interest rates low, which probably did not help inflation when the economy struggled with it for much of the last two years. The fat bastard also told Bartiromo that the stock market is doing well now because “they think I’m going to be elected.” Separately early on Friday Trump posted on Truth Social the stupid chart that shows the stock market performs better when he’s up on Biden in the RealClearPolitics polling average.

Minnesota right winger John Hinderaker, National Zero famous for unintentionally plagiarizing us in a stupid piece about illegal immigrant voter fraud on his PowerLine Blog, wrote late Thursday night that his “think tank” offices were torched by “Leftists” in a Molotov cocktail attack last weekend.

“Leftists firebombed my office last Saturday night. At around 2 am, they broke into the building that houses Center of the American Experiment and two other conservative organizations with which we often collaborate, along with many other businesses. The arsonists set two fires: one was in the first floor corridor between American Experiment’s office and the space we sublease to Take Charge, Kendall and Sheila Qualls’ organization. A second fire was set on the third floor, immediately outside or perhaps actually inside the office of the Upper Midwest Law Center, on whose board I serve… I am working with the FBI to try to identify the perpetrators. As I told them, the list of potential suspects is long, as my organization is active, and unusually effective, across a broad range of issues. I will have more to say about this before long,” Hinderaker wrote in the post.

Separately in a statement to KSTP, Hinderaker said “The fires obviously were set by someone. They targeted conservative organizations, they didn’t firebomb the chiropractors or psychologists or the Manufacturers Alliance. We are cooperating with the FBI to try to identify the perpetrators.”

Hinderaker is a bit of a “Love Trump’s ‘policies’ more than Trump himself” kind of conservative, which often pisses off his site’s fans, like the time in November 2020 when he pointed out that an affidavit filed in one of Team Orange’s many, many failed court cases trying to overturn his loss was based on data where some asshole thought “MN” was the postal code for Michigan. Which is to say it’s just as likely, maybe even more so, that Hinderaker was targeted because he’s too “moderate.”

Shout out to all the folks stuck in a 24 hour time loop by some unseen metaphysical force, one from which death is no escape and you simply wake up in the same spot again and again even after plunging into a quarry or getting crushed by a freight train or whatever. You have our deepest sympathies for you predicament, but put your booties on and buck up to continue your quest to master French literature or the piano or find true love. It’s a fresh day. Make the most of it.

EJ Carroll’s lawyer Roberta Kaplan this week told George Conway’s podcast that, when she visited Mar-a-Lago disgraced former President Trump had a meltdown when his lawyer Alina Habba offered Kaplan a lunch from Mar-a-Lago’s kitchen during a deposition at the club last year, CNN reports

It started when Kaplan told him she didn’t want to keep taking testimony through lunchtime, even though he wanted to get it over with. “And then you could kind of see the wheel spinning in his brain. You could really almost see it. And he said, ‘Well, you’re here in Mar-a-Lago. What do you think you’re going to do for lunch? Where are you going to get lunch?'” Kaplan recounted to Conway.

Kaplan said she told him that his lawyers had “graciously offered to provide” her team with lunch – a common professional courtesy between opposing legal teams. “At which point there was a huge pile of documents, exhibits, sitting in front of him, and he took the pile and he just threw it across the table. And stormed out of the room… He really yelled at Alina for that. He was so mad at Alina.”

Trump valet guy and criminal co-defendant Waltine Nauta was escorted off of White House grounds in early 2021 – weeks after his future boss had left office in disgrace – under accusations of adultery, revenge porn, harassment, and other misconduct by no less than three female military service members also working in the presidential mansion and reassigned to another post before he retired from the Navy and took the job serving the Donald at Mar-a-Lago, the Daily Beast reports.

A 17-year-old from Lancaster, California was extradited to Florida to face charges for a May 2023 swatting call that sent armed officers to the Masjid Al Hayy Mosque in Sanford, Florida, CNN reports, one of hundreds of such calls the suspect made around the country since 2022 as part of an enterprise where he would be paid up to $75 per incident.

Alan Filion is charged with three felony charges of false reporting and a felony charge of unlawful use of a two-way communication device, along with a felony enhancement of advancing terrorism for the Florida charge.  He’s being investigated for more than 300 calls connected to ads he ran on various platforms advertising “swatting services” for $35 to $75 per call.  His home IP address was connected to multiple accounts that posted such ads as on websites.

His calls reported mass shootings, bomb threats and gas leaks among other emergencies to spark massive responses from law enforcement, targeting high schools, historically Black colleges and universities as well as FBI agents’ homes among other places.  Investigators were able to connect a number of calls made in Maryland, Pennsylvania, Louisiana, Texas, Oklahoma, Iowa and Washington state to a specific account on Telegram, where original audio files of the calls were posted.

That account, also connected to Filian, once posted, “I swatted myself. How would I know my methods work otherwise. Swatting my neighbor means I’m in suspicion. But nobody would ever dare swat himself, right.”

Reading prepared words on the House floor Thursday afternoon, Republican Georgia Congresswoman Majorie Taylor Greene lets a bit of her bigotry “slip”–y’know, she was trying to be racist/cute and think no one will notice–while introducing a bill to censure Democratic Minnesota Congressman Ilhan Omar, saying Omar is “from Somalia– oops! I mean, Minnesota.”

We won’t wait for the GOP Conference to publicly admonish the racist, bigoted comments from Georgia’s living attempt to disprove Darwinism.  They won’t.  They’re scared of alienating their base, and because of their cowardice, the nation and the world gets to see demonstrations of bigotry from people like Marge on the House floor.

FBI agents failed to search a hidden room and a locked closet at Mar-a-Lago in August 2022 when they executed a search and seizure warrant at the home of Donald Trump, ABC News reports.  When Jack Smith was named Special Counsel in November 2022, one of the first things he started asking witnesses about were the two locations the FBI did not search.

It’s unclear if the agents who conducted the search were aware of the hidden room located off Donald Trump’s bedroom.  Employees of Mar-a-Lago apparently informed investigators of the existence of the room in follow-up questioning weeks or months after the search, but the Special Counsel’s office found no basis to believe any additional material had been hidden there.  One pundit called the failure to search the locked closet “astonishing” given the search for classified documents.

“Hey, Sean, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Under President Donald Trump, we brought the lowest unemployment rates to minorities the country. has ever seen. We created seven million new jobs,” South Carolina Republican Senator Tim Scott lies.

Facts: The lowest Black unemployment was recorded in April 2023, at 4.8%, when Joe Biden was president; Trump’s lowest was just 5.3%. And while 7 million jobs were created in the first three years of Trump’s single term, the fourth year had a net loss of 10 million jobs, leaving Trump with 2.6 million net jobs lost for his term.

Ousted employees of The Messenger website filed a class action lawsuit in federal court in New York accusing the owners of the site for violating labor laws regarding layoff notifications, Politico reports.  Jimmy Finkelstein, The Messenger’s founder who was formerly from The Hill, announced the shutdown to the staff on Wednesday, after it had already been reported by the New York Times.

The lawsuit alleges Finkelstein and the ownership group failed to provide mandatory information regarding things like severance pay and benefits when he essentially pulled the plug on the servers and completely shut down the business’s operations.  Most of the 300 former employees are expected to join the suit.

“Well listen, I-I-I think it’s laughable,” poster child for nepotism Donald Trump, Jr. says.  “I-I don’t think there’s anyone with, who’s actually being intellectually honest that wouldn’t say that regardless of age, Donald Trump has far more energy than Nikki Haley, is far more intelligent than Nikki Haley, has real world experience unlike Nikki Haley in terms of getting these things done for the American people[.]”

After around 200 prisoners at Ironwood State Prison rioted, seriously injuring at least eight prison guards and one prisoner on Wednesday, the state prison system has been on lockdown with tens of thousands of prisoners confined to their cells, the San Jose Mercury News reports.

Witnesses said the prisoners at Ironwood organized and rushed at corrections officers in waves, threatening the guards and other staff before officers fired warning shots, used “non-lethal weapons,” and deployed tear gas to regain control of the situation.  State officials ordered the lockdown because they were concerned the Ironwood riot would potentially inspire events planned at prisons.  The lockdown will be lifted after state authorities complete a threat assessment.

A public relations agency that worked with Purdue Pharmaceutical to promote the use of oxycontin and other opioids agreed to pay a $350 million fine to settle a lawsuit brought by the Attorneys General from all US states and territories as well as the District of Columbia.

Publicis Heath will make the payment in the second quarter of 2024, and the money will be applied to state-run drug treatment and patient assistance programs.  Separately, Massachusetts announced a separate $150 million settlement of a different opioid case brought by states against Hikma, a manufacturer of generic opioids.  The Hikma settlement will include $35 million in opioid addition medications.

“No settlement can bring back the lives lost or reverse the devastating pain caused by the opioid crisis. At the California Department of Justice, we are committed to holding accountable those who fueled this crisis through their greed and willful misconduct,” said California Attorney General Rob Bonta said in a statement. “Today’s settlement with Publicis builds on that commitment in our continued fight for justice and relief for Californians. I am proud of the work put in by my team and by our partners across the nation in making this settlement possible.”