The National Rifle Association’s future former leader is suffering from several cognitive issues including the effects of long-term Lyme disease and a “family history of dementia,” according to court filings from his lawyer in the organization’s civil corruption trial in New York, reports Business Insider.

According to doctors’ reports included with the filing, Wayne LaPierre suffers from “significant cerebral volume loss” which has resulted in “cognitive decline,” according to his internal medicine doctor, who noted, “Mr. LaPierre’s health has been slowly deteriorating these last few years.”

Scheduled to step down from his position later this month, LaPierre was cognizant enough to pen a column for the NRA website last week about the importance of guns for maintaining the American right to own guns.

A Williamsburg County, South Carolina 9-1-1 operator received a call for assistance from an unexpected organization last September after the US Marine Corps contacted the local first responders when an F-35 continued on a flight path after ejecting its pilot, ABC News reports.

“I believe we potentially have an aircraft that went down in Williamsburg County earlier today,” a major from Marine Corps Air Station Beaufort said according to call recordings made to the Williamsburg County emergency response center on September 18th after the advanced fighter mysteriously flew pilotless.

“You believe you have an aircraft that went down in Williamsburg County?” the dispatcher asked in response.

“That is correct,” the major replied. “We are trying to look for it and we are coming up dry so far.”

Heels-wearing Florida Gov Ron DeSantis and alleged 2024 presidential candidate has canceled his planned Sunday morning appearances on NBC’s Meet The Press and CNN’s State of Union as his campaign skids, meaning we probably get two goddamned extra Lindsey Graham interviews.

In very related news Talking Points Memo reports that Tiny D’s campaign missed the deadline to appear on the ballot in the New York State GOP primary, showing how seriously they’re taking this.

Republican presidential candidate and former governor who “forgot” what premeditated the Civil War Nikki Haley now questions the mental acuity of former president Donald Trump, who repeatedly confused Haley with 83-year-old former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi when relating an unfounded conspiracy about security at the Capitol during the January 6th Republican-led domestic terrorist attack on Congress.

Try to imagine turning on MSNBC on a Monday night in April of 2020 and seeing Rachel Maddow talking to the camera and telling Nancy Pelosi to block any economic legislation to deal with the COVID-19 pandemic because then-current President Trump’s poll numbers were falling and he would lose reelection to Joe Biden easily, so there’s no point in working with Trump now to get some half-measures done when they could just wait until next January to get a much better deal. Not to mention that it could help Trump politically with an issue the public sees him as very weak on.

Now you’re probably thinking something like “Oh that’s so unrealistic, Maddow isn’t that insane” and you’d be right. The sad truth is that scenario is the closest analogue we have to what’s going on within the MAGA media complex-Republican Party axis when it comes to this inchoate border security package that Senate Democrats and Republicans are working on together to pass and send to the House. And that’s where Jesus dork Speaker Mike Johnson faces an almost certain motion to vacate from the Freedom Caucasians if he puts it on the floor – where it would probably pass.

A new Rasmussen survey finds 53 percent of respondents think that President Biden is a “puppet” of a third Obama administration, Newsmax reports on a totally reliable pollster’s assessment.

Further down in Newsmax’s article is where they acknowledge that Rasmussen also found a similar majority saying that this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, writing “However, 52% of voters have a favorable impression of Obama, including 26% of Republicans and 42% of unaffiliated voters surveyed. Further, 33% say they have a ‘very favorable’ opinion of Obama. Among that subset, 42% think Obama is influencing Biden and 17% say Obama is running things altogether.”

Meaning even a bullshit poll meant to sell a narrative can’t even get that job done entirely.

Evil toad Elise Stefanik on Friday filed another complaint against Manhattan Judge Arthur Engoron after New York State’s top appeals court rejected disgraced former President Trump’s appeal of a gag order imposed during the trial in New York Attorney General Letitia James’s $270 million fraud lawsuit against his corrupt business empire, the Washington Examiner reports.

“The Court dodged addressing a crucial issue, which has ramifications for all New Yorkers. Simply stated, it is unacceptable that any judge in America would place an unconstitutional gag order on a defendant,” Stefanik wrote in the complaint. “If there is anyone who must have the constitutional right to speak out against the judge, court staff, prosecutor, and process, it is a defendant going through a process he believes has been politicized and weaponized against him.”

“Illegally gagging the leading presidential candidate – Democrat Manhattan Judge Arthur Engoron’s election interference – is shocking and appalling. This undermines the public’s faith and confidence in our New York courts. This is why I am supplementing again my judicial complaint against Judge Engoron,” Stefanik told the Examiner. The woman who Trump complained about – Engoron’s clerk Allison Greenfield – found herself the subject of death threats because of a tweet Trump posted falsely accusing her of being Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer’s “girlfriend.”

In very much related news, the Daily Beast reports that Brock Fredin, the serial stalker and prolific MAGA troll who originally wrote the tweet that got Trump in all this trouble, on Friday dropped a lawsuit against Greenfield, The Messenger’s Adam Klasfeld, and Law360’s Frank Runyeon.

Fredin’s complaint falsely alleged that Greenfield had violated statute by donating to Democrats, later adding defamation claims against her and the two journalists after they reported on his history of stalking women. The Beast notes “there’s good reason Fredin dropped the suit on Friday. Had he waited until next week, the trio could have sought attorney fees if they’d beaten him in court.”

• It’s time to start the website tracking which one lasts longer:  Mike Johnson or a head of lettuce.  Funding the government with the help of Democrats makes him the latest modern GOP Judas, and Marge already wants his head.
• The DOJ report on Uvalde tears apart the legend of the heroic Texas lawman being the Good Guy with a Gun and defeating the villain.  The Texas officials were feckless and weak.  It took a federal Border Patrol SWAT team to make the decisive call.  You don’t need a good guy with a gun to stop it after it starts; you need brave, competent people before, during and after to prevent–or at least minimize–the losses and damage.
• I don’t care what side of the political aisle you’re on:  swatting is stupid and dangerous.  It jeopardizes lives and wastes resources that may be needed elsewhere. I hope federal law enforcement catches the assholes and charges them with terrorism. 
• Markets hitting record highs.  Consumer confidence up.  Inflation ebbing.  Wages increasing.  Job growth steady.  No wonder far-right Republicans want to cause a government shutdown and cause an economic panic.  They don’t want Biden to get a win, just like the GOP killed a 2014 immigration bill to stifle Obama.  It’s not about values; it’s about power. 
  Read More ▶ “Random thoughts Friday, Volume CLVI”

“They never report the crowd.  By the way, they never report the crowd on January 6th.  You know, Nikki Haley, Nikki Haley, Nikki Haley… y’know they, do you know they destroyed all of the information, all of the evidence, everything.  Deleted and destroyed all of it, all of it [sniff] because of lots of things like Nikki Haley is in charge of security,” the GOP’s leading candidate for president says, confusing the former Speaker of the House with one of his Republican competitors for the Party nomination.

Apparently a single man again after things with his girlfriend just didn’t work out, South Carolina Republican Senator Tim Scott does his best to re-establish himself with the Idol of Idiocy, Donald Trump echoing the humbling of Ted Cruz in 2016.

We chose not to subject our readers to House GOP Conference Chair Elise Stefanik’s insufferable and irrepressible ranting, but you can listen to the audio here of her calling a jury finding that her Orange Allah sexually abused EJ Carroll “a witch hunt” after trying to blame the media for it.

Christian Ziegler, the former head of the Florida Republican Party who was kicked out of his job after allegations arose that he raped a woman of whom he and his wife shared Republican-demonized carnal knowledge, will not face charges for the recorded sexual encounter with his marriage’s amuse bouche because investigators determined the alleged victim consented to the encounter, CNN reports.  Ziegler and his wife, Moms for Libertines Liberty founder Bridget Ziegler, led efforts to rid Florida schools of LGBTQ-supporting programs and literature, claiming such corrupted children to do immoral things.

A Texas judge seated a grand jury on Friday with the purpose of considering charges against law enforcement officials for failing to act during the Uvalde mass shooting, in which 19 children and two teachers died while officers stood in an adjoining hallway, USA Today reports.  The move comes a day after the US Department of Justice released a 575-page report faulting local law enforcement for failing to act at the time, and exposing incompetence and coverups by local and state officials in the aftermath, including with the way officials dealt with the families of victims of the gunman.

As expected, a faction of the Michigan state Republican Party led by co-chair Malinda Pego on Friday filed a lawsuit to get a judge to recognize her as the chair after 40 committee members voted earlier this month to remove QAnon freak current chair Kristina Karamo at a meeting that Karamo had declared null and void in a “King Over The Water” situation, the Detroit News reports.

The catch is that Karamo had another meeting in which a loyalist faction of 59 committee members voted to keep her. Without getting into any of the weeds about bylaws or any of that shit, it would seem the simplest heuristic of numbers is that Karamo’s claim to the throne is stronger.

In a very much related story, the National Republican Campaign Committee on Friday sent a letter to Michigan GOP counsel Dan Hartman saying they were “growing increasingly alarmed” that the $263,000 the NRCC sent to the state party to help elect Republicans to the US House might end up getting pissed away on stupid shit like paying Q-pilled actor Jim Caviezel to speak at party events.

“Unwatchable RINO Steve Doocy of Fox and Friends, which is suffering mightily from a lack of interest and Ratings Decline, with Steve being the principal factor, has just blurted out that I was wrong on the fact that Democrats can vote in the New Hampshire Republican Primary. He was so anxious to go against me, that he fell into the proverbial ‘Trump’ trap, just like all others do,” writes disgraced former President Trump in a triumphal Friday afternoon Truth Social post.

Here’s the, uh, “Trump trap” that Doocy found himself ensnared: “In actuality, Democrats can vote, they had to register by October 6, but they can come in as Independents, and then can be Democrats, and nobody’s going to know, so already we have 3,542 Democrats changed to Undeclared, 408 to Republican (all of whom will be voting), and others will come in as Liberals or Independents. Their rationale is that they are desperate to stop ‘Trump,’ because they don’t want to run against me, they want to run against Nikki or Ron or anyone else. If an Independent is a Democrat, they can vote. That’s what they want to do, fill up the Roster with Democrats!”

What Doocy actually said on Friday morning, via Mediaite, which was useful for once: “So here’s the thing. Donald Trump said that New Hampshire law allows for Democrats to vote in the Republican primary. That is not true. You’ve got to be a registered Republican unless you’re undeclared. The last day for a Democrat to change party affiliation was October 6th. So, that is not accurate. The thing about New Hampshire is there are so many independents. There are so many undeclared. When they show up at the polling places that for on Tuesday, they’re asked, do you want a Republican ballot or a Democrat ballot, depending on your party affiliation. If you’re a Democrat, you can get the Democrat. If you’re a Republican, you get a Republican. If you’re undeclared, you can have either.”

Actually not even sure what the hell the difference is or if any sort of “fact check” would be meaningful here. The fat bastard declaring Doocy to be “trapped” is good/stupid enough on its own.

Evidently feeling like they’ve got nothing to lose with the state Supreme Court about to put a permanent end to their gerrymandered supermajority, Republicans in the Wisconsin state Assembly on Friday introduced a bill banning abortion after 14 weeks, the Associated Press reports.

LMAO! Scream at the sky leftards! Your hero Alec Baldwin thought he was off the hook for shooting that woman “on accident” but now he’s been indicted AGAIN! It’s like karma for mocking President Trump in those unfunny Saturday Night Live skits! Revenge on your socialist queers is so sweet.

The way you cultists center your entire identities around worshipping some washed-up liberal celebrity degenerate with a fake foreign wife would be sad if it wasn’t so funny to watch you cry out in anguish when the his horrible crimes catch up with him. There’s nothing rigged or politically motivated about this because the law applies to everyone equally no matter how much you whine.

National Zero will resume our regular coverage now that we’ve informed our MAGA readers of a huge victory for their side in their endless war on the Hollywood elite that libs venerate.

Members of the House Freedom Caucasians on Friday told the Daily Caller exclusively that they’ll continue their work delivering for hard-working Americans struggling to pay energy, food, and housing costs by introducing a bill to defund the World Economic Forum, an annual meeting of the global elite currently underway in the alpine resort town of Davos, Switzerland.

“Forcing American Taxpayers to fund annual ski trips for insular, global elitists is absurd, not to mention reprehensible,” said Freedom Caucasians chair Congressman Scott Perry “The World Economic Forum doesn’t deserve one cent of American funding. It’s past time we defund Davos.”

“The wealthy WEF globalists should not receive Americans’ hard-earned tax dollars,” said co-sponsor Wisconsin Congressman Tom Tiffany. “The Defund Davos Act would ensure that US tax dollars are not funding the World Economic Forum and their reset on our way of life. I thank Congressman Perry for leading this important effort.” Other co-sponsors include Tennesseeans Diana Harshbarger and Andy Ogles, Arizonan Paul Gosar, and Montanan Matt Rosendale.

A Travis County, Texas judge on Friday effectively told Picasso-faced Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton he doesn’t give a fuck that Pax says he’ll stop contesting the lawsuit brought by the former deputies fired in retaliation for reporting the scumbag to the FBI, he still has to show up for the deposition and finally answer questions under oath at 9:00 AM sharp on February 1st.

Just throwing this out there that maybe, just maybe, that Paxton decided that accepting a judgment against him in the whistleblower lawsuit was the least bad of his options and that going under oath could seriously fuck him up while he’s probably under federal criminal investigation.