“I am pleased to announce that very popular and highly respected Congressman, Jeff Van Drew, will be heading up my New Jersey effort for President. I have known Jeff for a long time and consider him to be one of the best political minds anywhere. He feels, as do I, that because the Biden Administration has been so bad to the Garden State, that we have a very good chance of winning New Jersey. We will put it on our List for Rallies and all other forms of Events, and make a concerted effort to WIN! I spend a great deal of time in New Jersey, love the State, and its people. With what is going on in our Country now, Open and Broken Borders, Record Setting Crime, High Taxes and Regulations, Disrespect of our Military and Vets, the Worst Inflation in 72 years, and a Terrible Economy, we will win New Jersey, and possibly by a lot. Jeff Van Drew will put his Talents on display for all to see. I thank him very much,” writes disgraced former President Trump on Truth Social.

Russian President Vladimir Putin on Friday launched his 2024 reelection campaign with a positive message from the man hoping to lead the world’s geographically largest country for another six years after voters head to the polls in March, the AP reports. Although the economy has been facing some headwinds with rising costs for average Russians and an increasing number of political and business leaders have been mysteriously falling out of windows recently, Putin is already the clear frontrunner given the power of incumbency and the immense popularity he enjoys.

Luck has also played a role in Putin’s durability: Eccentric business tycoon and possible challenger Yevgeny Prigozhin died in a fiery plane crash back in June while left wing former candidate Alexei Navalny is likely to remain in prison for decades on charges stemming from a major political scandal.

Then there are the smaller-time headaches that have managed to go right for Putin, such as the Russian-American Wall Street Journal reporter who was arrested for espionage just a day after he published an article about the poor state of the economy and the army colonel who committed suicide by shooting himself in the chest five times right before he was to publicly reveal information about a corruption scandal in his ranks. These are just some of the most recent curveballs in Putin’s long and storied career – ones that would’ve been serious challenges for other leaders – that have left many observers wondering just what’s his secret sauce to defying the laws of political gravity.

Others see it as simply a matter of the fundamentals: Strength on national security issues, precision in enforcing the law against individuals and groups seen as disruptive to the Russian way of life, and the stamina Putin displays by riding a horse shirtless. This mixed with the fact that a lot of average Russians simply aren’t all that concerned with the price of vodka or turnips or candles to keep their homes lit – is the recipe for another 80 percent margin win for the Russian president.

National Zero will resume our regular news coverage now that we’ve delivered the Chuck Todd and Chris Cillizza fans in our audience the latest insider scoop on Russian politics.

There was a brief liminal window on Thursday when CNN first reported that Hunter Biden had been hit with a superseding indictment on top of his gun charges but they didn’t know what the charges were about, at all. That must have been just absolutely agonizing for the MAGA freaks as the minutes ticked by, hoping and praying that their public enemy number one had finally been accused criminally of the atrocities they had already long ago convicted him of in their imaginations.

Then came the first whispers of it being the tax charges they already knew about, ones for which Hunter actually really does have a solid claim to “selective prosecution” and “process crimes” song-and-dance the fanboys perfected online during the Trump-Mueller wars. And finally came the confirmation of what they did not at all want to hear, leading this demented hag Bartiromo to complain bitterly in the form of a question to some dipshit Republican Congressman. It sucked for her even more than having to acknowledge another strong monthly job report.

Bureau of Labor Statistics: “Total nonfarm payroll employment increased by 199,000 in November, and the unemployment rate edged down to 3.7 percent, the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics reported today. Job gains occurred in health care and government. Employment also increased in manufacturing, reflecting the return of workers from a strike. Employment in retail trade declined”

Republican New York Congressman Brandon Williams tells Politico he snapped at his former chief of staff and legislative director as recently caught on video because the two had threatened to expose Williams’ 27 year-old daughter’s OnlyFans account in which she presumably performs all sorts of different sexual acts live on camera – only for the fans that pay fees to her for the pleasure.

Williams said former Chief of Staff Michael Gordon was “trying to exert some leverage over me and I just simply won’t allow that to happen,” when he publicly screamed “You fuck with my family, I’ll end every relationship you have,” at a holiday party in DC last week as filmed up-close by Syracuse University student journalist Luke Radel. Gordon tells Politico that “the allegations Congressman Williams has levied against me are categorically false,” but declined to comment further, while the former legislative director Ryan Sweeney said the “congressman’s allegations are completely false.”

Wonder where those two got the idea that streaming on OnlyFans is considered a political liability among Republicans. It’s not like it’s been made into a campaign issue or anything recently.

Former Trump lawyer Kenny Chesebro is cooperating with prosecutors in Wisconsin Attorney General Josh Kaul’s office, the first indication that the Cheesehead State’s top lawman is investigating the 10 MAGA assholes who signed false electoral college votes in 2020, CNN reports.

Who got a hold of my Christmas list?  Fed up with his antics and the ensuing chaos, several House Republicans are plotting to expel Florida Man and Republican Congressman Matt Gaetz virtually the second an expected scathing Ethics Committee report into his behavior, USA Today reports.  This comes one day after reports that the Ethics Committee has called at least one witness in its investigation into Gaetz.

Gaetz, who not coincidentally spoke out against the precedent sent by expelling George Santos without a criminal conviction, has been in the crosshairs of the Republican conference for his stunt of recalling Speaker pro tem Kevin McCarthy, forcing an embarrassing period when the GOP caucus looks leaderless, which continues to this day.

“There were a number of people who voted to expel Santos with the express intent of thinking through the precedent there on what happens next,” one of the plotting members told the outlet. “There was a lot of forethought about the precedent and what would happen when a report on Gaetz comes out.”

A Texas political consulting firm that caters to far-right conservative clients and that is linked to white nationalists including Donald Trump dinner companion Nick Fuentes decided to try to whitewash future background checks and Google searches into its actions by changing its name to distance itself from news reports.

With some great reporting from the Texas Tribune, in October, journalists photographed the toxic Fuentes entering the offices of Pale Horse Strategies, a firm owned by Jonathan Stickland, a former state rep and the person who controls one of the largest PACs in Texas politics.  Strickland has since filed paperwork with the state to change the company’s name to a completely generic white bread brand “West Fort Worth Management LLC.”

And this is why the Texas GOP had to remove a measure that would condemn and ban any association with people who support antisemitic views or Holocaust denialism:  had they approved the measure, dozens of them would have had to find a new consultant.

The man who opened fire at the University of Nevada Las Vegas campus, killing three people, was a former university professor who was reportedly turned down for a position at UNLV, according to NBC News, and now, police say he mailed envelopes containing an unknown white powder to 22 separate, apparently random universities around the country.  The shooter, 67-year-old Anthony Polito, reportedly had a target list of people at UNLV and at East Carolina University, where he previously worked.

The envelopes, none of which had a return address, were intercepted at a postal facility in nearby Henderson, Nevada.  Police believe that they intercepted all the envelopes sent, but warn people working at educational institutions around the country to be aware of suspicious mail.

Police investigators in Sarasota, Florida have recovered video of a sexual encounter that dipshit Florida GOP chairman Christian Ziegler recorded on October 2nd when he went to his and his wife Moms for Liberty co-founder Bridget Ziegler’s girlfriend’s home after the woman had declined a three-way, video that, if the Florida Center for Government Accountability’s newest reporting is accurate, entirely undermines the accusation. As in actual “Complete and Total exoneration.”

The article mentions that cops also have security video from outside the accuser’s apartment showing Ziegler knocking on the door and being allowed inside, contradicting the woman’s claim that she had opened the door to take her dog for a walk. And then there’s the part of the article that says “Inside the apartment, Ziegler made a cell phone video of the sex act while she was bent over a piece of furniture in the bedroom, according to sources. The video of the sex act is brief in duration and the victim can be heard telling Ziegler to climax in her mouth rather than on her new shirt.”

So yeah. This is one of those things where, in the likely event he doesn’t end up getting charged, we still get to have our cake. In fact the evidently false accusation has all the taste of watching not one but two hypocritical conservative assholes go down in flames with none of the calories from feeling like we’re having too much fun when a woman was violated. Ziegler’s exonerated criminally but the political pain and suffering will (hopefully) in all likelihood continue coming for him and his wife.

On Wednesday FloridaPolitics.com reported that the Florida GOP have initiated a process that could see Ziegler expelled early next month if a special tribunal finds him liable of misconduct. As this was obviously before Thursday’s new reporting we don’t know if they’re going to keep it going, but it’s hard to see “misconduct” limited strictly to criminal liability. This drama’s climax should be fun.

Hunter Biden will face nine additional felony counts in a superseding indictment that will be released Friday, according to ABC News.  The charges include five counts of failure to file and pay taxes, one count of evasion of assessment, two counts of filing a false or fraudulent tax return, and one count of failure to file and pay taxes.  The charges were reportedly filed in a California federal court and are in addition to gun charges that have already been filed.  While the charges are undoubtedly the results of a political pressure campaign against the President’s son, prosecuting the crimes will be much more difficult given that Hunter Biden has already rectified outstanding tax debts as directed by the prosecution team, including representatives of the Internal Revenue Service.

Apparently, lying about being 215 pounds isn’t enough for the obese orange offender, as Donald Trump commented to two courtroom sketch artists that he needs “to lose some weight” given his depiction, according to Reuters.  Trump then went out to rant to the assembled media that he’s completely innocent, except that he’s already been found liable for the fraud, so this part of the trial is to resolve other issues and determine how much he’ll pay.

The man responsible for killing six people and wounding three others in a shooting spree in Austin on Tuesday attempted to break out of the Travis County jail on Wednesday, a document filed with the court attests, per a report in the Austin Statesman.  Although the exact nature of the attempt is unknown, deputies needed to physically restrain Shane James during his escape attempt.  Police caught James on Tuesday after he wrecked a car in a chase reaching 90 m.p.h. following shooting people, including two police officers, in at least three different locations.

International criminal mastermind/irresponsible crackhead Hunter Biden was hit with a superseding indictment on Thursday, CNN reports. The indictment is sealed so it’s unclear what the crime(s) are.

“‘There is no evidence that President Biden has meddled in any of the Trump prosecutions (persecutions)!’ Maggot Hagerman, The Failing New York Times. Perhaps the most egregious statement of FAKE NEWS I have seen in years. ‘All the News That’s Unfit To Print,'” writes disgraced former President Trump in another meltdown. He’ll still end up calling her constantly anyway.

McDonald’s, a brand known for its consistent food quality and bathroom cleanliness which can both be characterized as generally adequate, will expand its portfolio with a new franchise brand called CosMc’s aimed at the coffee market, CBS News reports.

The brand targets customers currently going to drink-centric stores like Dunkin’ Donuts and Starbucks.  CosMc’s menu will feature drinks, but it will have some McDonald’s staples like the Egg McMuffin available.  Unlike McDonald’s, customers will have greater options to customize their orders instead of just what’s on the McMenu.

Second-term Democratic North Carolina Congresswoman Kathy Manning, representing the state’s Sixth Congressional District which was significantly redrawn in a district map that continues to be under legal challenges, announced she won’t run for reelection with the district drawn as partisanly as it is in the one that must be used in the 2024 election cycle.

“The Republican-led General Assembly passed flagrantly gerrymandered Congressional districts to reduce the North Carolina Congressional delegation from seven Democrats and seven Republicans to four Democrats and ten Republicans,” Manning said in a statement. “Rather than draw Congressional districts that are compact, include communities of interest, and promote the democratic value of allowing voters to decide who they want to represent them – the previously stated goals of the redistricting committee – Republican leaders have put their partisan self-interest above the people they’re elected to serve. It’s the shameful act of leaders who know they can’t win under fair districts.”

While Manning noted that she and others continue to file legal challenges to the highly-gerrymandered map, the timing makes it more difficult for Democratic challenges to have effect before elections.  She also left the door open to running again if the courts somehow strike down the current map.

Former La Habra, California police chief and Capitol rioter Alan Hostetter’s plea for leniency – one in which he said his January 6th conspiracy bullshit about “crisis actors” and “an obvious set-up” by police are “no longer fringe theories” because asshole Vivek Ramaswamy talked about it during his unhinged performance at Wednesday night’s GOP debate – did not work on DC Circuit Judge Royce Lamberth who sentenced Hostetter to 135 months in prison, just slightly shy of the 12 years federal prosecutors had sought in their recommendation, CBS News’s Scott MacFarlane reports.

“The First Amendment doesn’t give anybody the right to obstruct, impede [Congress]… or carry weapons into restricted areas,” Lamberth said after handing down the sentence to the self-represented Capitol rioter who just might’ve saved himself a few years if he hadn’t told the judge that Ashli Babbitt’s death was a “psy-op” and that she’s secretly still alive. Babbitt’s mother was sitting in court too, per MacFarlane. Hostetter probably also could’ve skipped the “really dark forces that set up a matrix” and that the riot was the FBI, CIA, and DHS’s “crowning achievement” parts too.

The wife of one of Michigan’s most vocal Republican state government culture warriors has accused the legislator of a years-long pattern of domestic physical and emotional abuse, the Detroit News reports.  The wife of first-term state legislator Bob Bezotte alleges in her divorce filing that the Army veteran and one-time county sheriff practiced a pattern of “mental, emotional and physical abuse” that lasted “throughout the [50] years of marriage.”

One of the sponsors of a 2022 bill that would ban drag shows in the state because its sponsors claimed, drag queens are morally reprehensible individuals set on destroying the family unit and corrupting children, the alleged wife beater recently hired the husband of the judge hearing his divorce case to be his attorney, a move likely designed to get a woman off the bench for this divorce case as well as a way to further delay the proceedings, in which Bezotte is expected to lose a significant portion of his wealth and future pensions.