Apparently fully aware that their majority is doomed, House Republicans are putting the work in during the next eight months to passing a second “Big Beautiful” piece of shit, one that will further gut Medicaid and other safety-net benefits already savaged in the last one, Politico reports.

Of course, it doesn’t mean it’s actually going to happen, but why not waste time and effort?

Among the many stories that National Zero missed over the weekend was the “IED” thrown during a Saturday protest outside of Gracie Mansion in New York City, a reportedly functional bomb aimed not at Mayor Zohran Mamdani, but increasingly notorious pardoned Capitol rioter Jake Lang, 30, a prolific shit-stirrer supposedly running in the Florida GOP Senate primary against creepy incumbent Ashley Moody. Two teenage Pennsylvania men of Muslim backgrounds who allegedly pledged allegiance to ISIS were arrested at the scene and face grievous federal charges.

“Eagle Ed” Martin, the former Capitol rioter defense lawyer who sucked so badly at his first Trump 2.0 job of Acting DC US Attorney that he got replaced by deranged alcoholic crone Jeanine “Judge Box-o-Wine” Pirro and is on his way out the door from the other crony job convicted felon President Trump made up for him, is now facing DC Bar discipline for sending Georgetown University a letter accusing them of teaching DEI, and the unilaterally imposing sanctions by blocking the DOJ from hiring alumni without even waiting for a response from the school, CBS News reports.

“Acting in his official capacity and speaking on behalf of the government, he used coercion to punish or suppress a disfavored viewpoint, the teaching and promotion of DEI,” wrote DC Bar Disciplinary Counsel Hamilton “Phil” Fox in a filing. “He demanded that Georgetown Law relinquish its free speech and religious rights in order to obtain a benefit, employment opportunities for its students.”

The DNC on Tuesday sued convicted felon President Trump’s regime for any and all information on plans to send DHS agents or federal troops to polling places in November to intimidate voters and otherwise disrupt what should be a free and fair election, Marc Elias’s Democracy Docket reports.

Named in the complaint filed in DC are the Departments of Justice, Homeland Security, and Defense, accusing the agencies of essentially ignoring 11 Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) requests sent since October regarding the “potential employment of federal agents and troops to polling places, drop boxes, and election offices” to fuck with the midterms at Trump’s will.

The Orange God Emperor “wants to bully and cheat his way through a midterm election that he knows Republicans will lose, but we won’t let him,” DNC Chairman Ken Martin said in a statement, adding “The DNC will stand on the side of voters and use every tool in our arsenal to stop voter suppression and intimidation before it can even begin.” How big an arsenal are we talking?

“No one was whining about the price of gas when Biden/Harris were at the helm. This level of whining was absent during the Biden years. Now it’s an issue. I blame the media once again” – Top comment on Breitbart’s article “Oil Prices Jump Above $100 a Barrel for First Time in Four Years.”

What the fuck is National Zero supposed to do with this? Seriously. How is anything this site could ever type in response going to properly box and analyze what went into the comment? Other than noting that it is no longer “top” as of this printing because it got sank by downvotes, there’s really noting to add here, not even a goddamned Breitbart headline or comment from 2022 or 2023.

Israeli-American real estate moguls Tal, Oren, and Alon Alexander were convicted on all counts Monday in a federal sex trafficking trial in New York City, ABC News reports while not actually using the headline “Property Brothers” to avoid confusing them with the pair on that stupid reality show titled as such that airs on HGTV or one of those other lame basic cable channels.

“These are chilling, reprehensible, and unacceptable acts,” said US Attorney Jay Clayton, whose office prosecuted the case, said in a statement following the verdict. “We commend the victims for their courage in coming forward and testifying at the trial. They bravely overcame the pain of reliving the abuses inflicted upon them and, as a result, prevented others from becoming victims.”

Alon and Oren, 37 year-old twins, and Tal, 38, all of Miami, Florida, were each charged with one count of engaging in a sex trafficking conspiracy, which carries a maximum sentence of life in prison; and one count of sex trafficking by force, fraud, or coercion, which carries a maximum sentence of life in prison and a mandatory minimum sentence of 15 years in prison. Tal was additionally charged with a second count of sex trafficking by force, fraud, or coercion, which carries a maximum sentence of life in prison and a mandatory minimum sentence of 15 years in prison. The three predators, who also came up in the Epstein files, face sentencing on August 6th and thus have five months to squirm knowing they could end up becoming prey for the rest of their days.

'FIRE AND FURY': President Trump sends an urgent warning to Iran about stopping the flow of oil in the Strait of Hormuz:

"We will take out easily destroyable targets that will make it virtually impossible for Iran to ever be built back, as a Nation, again — Death, Fire, and Fury… pic.twitter.com/6yTSoUL4UK

— FOX & Friends (@foxandfriends) March 10, 2026

Convicted felon President Trump is delaying the final episode of his lame reality show’s prize of the Texas Senate GOP endorsement to pressure Senate Republicans to pass his stupid “SAVE America Act” by changing the filibuster rules to allow a simple majority vote on it, Politico reports.

The upshot is that Picasso-faced Lone Star State Attorney General Ken Paxton’s last-ditch effort to stave off the fat bastard’s endorsement of incumbent John Cornhole Cornyn actually apparently worked, according to the Sportscenter of politics’ sources in and around the White House. “I think that was a very smart strategy because it bought time. Because now, if you’re the White House or Trump, why would you now weigh in?” said an anonymous Republican operative. “Trump has remained very steadfast that he wants this done, and that is a huge priority, and he’s getting pissed off at these members and at [Senate Majority Leader John] Thune.”

Former Nixon White House aide Alexander Butterfield, whose 1973 revelation of the secret taping system that recorded all the very many smoking guns that he left for himself over Watergate and other scandals that led to his eventual resignation under pressure, died Monday at 99, Fox reports.

At some point the slob is supposed to hold a press conference

Convicted felon President Trump on Monday decided he’s open to TACOing his way out of the shitshow he created in the Gulf as well as killing the new Ayatollah, the Wall Street Journal reports.

“I’m not giving up my money.”

Stephen A. Smith shuts down talk of a 2028 presidential run.

Full episode drops tomorrow. pic.twitter.com/3fgI4Q0eho

— Sean Hannity 🇺🇸 (@seanhannity) March 9, 2026

Stay tuned to Mediaite for when Smith changes his mind again.

At 66 cents per gallon since February 28th when their Orange God Emperor launched his directionless attack on Iran, three-time Trump-voting state Indiana has taken the prize for highest average gas increase, beating out Ohio’s 62 cents and Michigan and Florida’s 59 cent jumps.

In fact, according to CNN’s tracker outside of California at 56 cents, Maryland at 55, Colorado at 53, and New Mexico at 52 the most dramatic increases are largely being inflicted on the MAGA states/swing states that fucked us over last election such as West Virginia at 55 cents, Iowa at 54, Texas at 53, at North Carolina at 52 cents per gallon. Enjoy driving your Ford F-350s, schmucks!

Ohio State University, oh sorry THE Ohio State University – friggin assclowns – President Ted Carter has resigned from the university after disclosing an inappropriate relationship to the board of trustees, its precise impropriety ambiguous because it was with “someone seeking public resources to support her personal business” per to the Board of Trustees, the Columbus Dispatch reports.

Carter himself said in statement he “made a mistake in allowing inappropriate access to Ohio State leadership. I believe we have made much progress during my time at Ohio State, and I’m sorry I’m not able to remain your president longer. The students, faculty and staff at this university are among the very best in the world, and the Education for Citizenship 2035 strategic plan has Ohio State poised to succeed for years to come,” further calling into question what the hell this was if it wasn’t an affair… Or maybe it was an affair with a corruption angle to it. Kinda like at Homeland Security.

Then again the Dispatch specifies that “Carter said he and his wife, Lynda, are leaving Ohio State with ‘gratitude and appreciation for this wonderful community,'” so unless they have a thing where the wife effs frat guys too then maybe it really was strictly a platonic inappropriate relationship.

Congressman Jim Jordan, who circa 1990 made a mistake in allowing inappropriate access to Ohio State wrestlers, has not resigned from representing the state’s 4th District and likely never will.

“Australia is making a terrible humanitarian mistake by allowing the Iran National Woman’s Soccer team to be forced back to Iran, where they will most likely be killed. Don’t do it, Mr Prime Minister, give ASYLUM. The US will take them if you won’t,” posted the FIFA Peace laureate on Monday.

The post came a little under an hour after CNN printed a story headlined “Five Iranian women’s soccer players safe with police after fleeing team as supporters plead for action in Australia,” which would seem to indicate that Trump simply just doesn’t know what the fuck is going on.

I happen to believe drones will be a much better investment than companies that still print newspapers. @wsj https://t.co/ipWAm5u5qK

— Eric Trump (@EricTrump) March 9, 2026

Sources in the US intel establishment have concluded that the likeliest culprit in the February 28th bombing of an elementary school for girls was the US military, CBS News reports on the reality that the blood of 168 civilians, the vast majority of them young girls aged 7 to 12, is on American hands.

Officials have concluded that the atrocious fuckup was the result of dated intelligence that had indicated the building – formerly part of an adjacent Iranian Revolutionary Guard installation that was struck in the initial assault that day – was still a legitimate military target. Such nuance was not part of convicted felon President Trump’s explanation for the horrific collateral damage, as he told a reporter “We think it was done by Iran, because they’re very inaccurate with their munitions, they have no accuracy whatsoever, it was done by Iran,” on board Air Force One on Saturday.

Initially there had been some attempts by US officials to blame it on Israel. Wasn’t that much of stretch after years of genocidally depraved indifference to human life in Gaza, but video of the strike emerging on Monday shows a projectile consistent with a BGM or UGM-109 Tomahawk Land Attack Missile – found only in American arsenals – soaring toward the site during the attack.

Ultimately it is a war crime committed in our name, however there’s still some room to note how on-brand this is for Tehran’s regard for their own people – less than two months after a crackdown on civil unrest that by some estimates left as many as 25,000 dead – to have flipped some military building into a girls’ school. Whether deliberate or not, it’s hard to believe that nobody on their side had never even at least considered that it might’ve come under fire at some point, especially if the site had only been partially rather than completely vacated by the IRGC. Again, this does not wash American hands, especially when a thorough-enough satellite analysis probably would’ve made it clear the building was off-limits. It can also be true that the Iranians either stupidly – or maliciously, to help further politically undermine Trump’s stupid war – put those girls in harm’s way.

“Help Corey ‘Big Hoss’ Harrison Recover from Devastating Motorcycle Accident in Mexico. My name is Aron Chambers, and Corey Harrison is one of my closest friends. If you’ve watched Pawn Stars, you know Corey – ‘Big Hoss’ – as the quick-witted guy behind the counter who always brings the laughs and tough negotiations. Off camera, he’s just Corey: loyal, proud, independent, and someone who’s always there for his friends and family. Right now, though, he needs our help more than ever.”

“With his full knowledge and blessing, we’re raising emergency funds to cover more than $100,000 in medical bills and related expenses after a serious motorcycle accident in Tulum, Mexico, that left him fighting for his life. Just days before his father Rick Harrison’s wedding in Cancun in February 2026,” says the “Pawn Stars Corey Harrison Needs Help after Motorcycle crash” GoFundMe page.

Weird how he can’t just say “Ehhhhh, $18,000 to fix my grievous wounds suffered while I was speeding on a motorcycle in Tulum before my dad’s second wedding to my third stepmom, a Russian lady two months younger than me isn’t really going to work. Best I can do is $300.” Or that the History Channel’s health insurance plan doesn’t cover injuries suffered overseas. Or that his wealthy dad, who everyone knows to be a greedy asshole, is that greedy of an asshole that he won’t kick in the $18,000, instead forcing him to ask for the money from the terrible show’s fans on GoFundMe.