Disgraced former President Trump on Wednesday declared victory in the Minnesota state Supreme Court case concerning his eligibility for the 2024 ballot, writing “Ridiculous 14th Amendment lawsuit just thrown out by Minnesota Supreme Court. ‘Without Merit, Unconstitutional.’ Congratulations to all who fought this HOAX!” in a Truth Social post celebrating his big “win” over “election interference.”

Problem is, and there’s always a problem but this is a pretty big one, per Politico’s Kyle Cheney, is that the court did not rule on the merits nor was it dismissed with prejudice. “Petitioners can refile when general is closer,” Cheney writes. Which, we could be wrong here, means that the Minnesota state Supreme Court just said Trump can run in the primary but they might disqualify him after he’s already on the November 2024 ballot. That would actually be significantly worse for him.

“There is no justification for this subpoena. After a long, desperate search for any financial transaction between Jim Biden and his brother, including an unnecessary and intrusive review of Jim’s private banking records, the Committee has resorted to criticizing two loans that Jim received when his brother was no longer in public office and not even a candidate for the Presidency. Those same bank documents clearly show that Jim repaid both loans within weeks. There is nothing more to those transactions, and there is nothing wrong with them. And Jim Biden has never involved his brother in his business dealings,” says an attorney for Billy Carter James Biden in a statement responding to dipshit James Comer’s subpoena for him, his nephew, and their buddy Rob Walker.

A new Marquette University Law School survey finds President Joe Biden leading disgraced former President Trump 45 to 42 percent in Wisconsin in a 2024 matchup, which proves absolutely, with zero uncertainty that Joe Biden is going to win reelection. No, sorry, it’s not an outlier.

The simple truth is that a lot of Cheesehead state voters simply aren’t getting the full message about Trump’s recent accomplishments in accusing a New York State judge of being a Soros-paid agent and declaring the whole trial to be “election interference.” You can scream all day about how a Republican governor just won reelection in Mississippi and how it shows that pollsters are underrating GOP strength next year, it’s not going to change the fact that Marquette polls are super accurate and predictive of results. Sorry. Trump’s going to lose in Wisconsin which makes it so much harder for him to win the Electoral College. Basically impossible. It’s pretty much over already.

Look, we cover a lot of elections, we’ve been doing it for like three and a half years now. That’s a lot of experience you don’t have which we’re going to lord over you with supreme confidence. This stuff is hard work, you can’t just slap together a WordPress blog in a couple of hours and say “Hey guys, check out my new website!” to your internet friends and then act like you’re some kind of expert. The bottom line is we know politics here, you don’t. So if we say Trump is in trouble in Wisconsin it means he’s in trouble everywhere and that’s it. Blue wave incoming. MAGA in disarray. End of story.

PS: We’re just not going to respond in the comments to anyone who challenges the narrative we’ve just set forth in this piece, especially using past forecasting errors. It makes things easier for us to simply not have to defend the conclusions we worked backward from to arrive here. But feel free to waste your time anyway. Ignoring you pointing out flaws in our analyses simply because they’re in conflict with you what you wanted to hear us tell you is what being a polling expert is all about.

House Oversight Committee Chairbilly James Comer on Wednesday finally subpoenaed President Joe Biden’s idiot son Hunter and assclown brother James in what would seem to be the final stages of Comer, Jim Jordan, and their bro Jason Smith’s so-far abysmally attempt to impeach Biden.

Police in Middlesex County, New Jersey on Wednesday are combing a wooded area in the town of Helmetta, searching for fugitive Capitol rioter Gregory Yetman, a New York native wanted on unspecfied charges for his participation in the January 6th MAGA insurrection, WNBC 4 reports.

Evidently with nothing else going on in the nation’s largest city that could benefit from aerial coverage, WNBC sent their chopper 35 miles south of Manhattan to capture about a minute of footage of cops searching someone’s backyard toolshed for the elusive Trump fanboy, a level of response kind of questionable for some asshole who’s going to get caught sooner or later. However given that their report also mentions a SWAT team, it’s possible, maybe even likely, that the MAGA terrorist is armed and dangerous or somehow otherwise poses an imminent threat to others.

Ol Man Steny’s surely gettin’ on in years. You can see it in all the silver in ‘is hair. But he still got his wits, ‘specially when he’s talkin’ to Gammy Lauren, who ain’ all there. She start off tellin these stories ’bout times an places an things that jus’ plum don’ exist and Ol Steny jus’ stand there tryin’a figure out the fuck she jus’ say. Sad seein’ a proud ol granma fallin ‘part like this. She need a safe, clean ol folks home where she ain’ gonna be a danger to herself or her precious granbaby boy.

DC Judge Tanya Chutkan on Wednesday handed Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith a big win by ruling in favor of Smith’s motion to force disgraced former President Trump to commit to using his batshit stupid “advice of counsel” defense – one that the fat idiot already pretty much blew up publicly in his interview with NBC’s Kristen Welker in September – by January 15th, 2024.

Chutkan did somewhat throw Trump a bone as Smith had wanted the deadline to be next month, December 18th, though we would imagine Smith already had that priced in. It’s not clear to us if this entails a ruling on the overall admissibility of the defense or if it’s dealer’s choice and Trump can play it at will. It’s a really fucking risky strategy and one that will require him to waive all relevant claims of attorney-client privilege as well as almost certainly take the stand in his own defense.

Disgraced former President Trump undorsed Kentucky Attorney General Daniel Cameron in the state’s gubernatorial race on Wednesday, posting on Truth Social that Cameron, whose campaign Trump had previously supported, had “lost because he couldn’t alleviate the stench of Mitch McConnell. I told him early that’s a big burden to overcome. McConnell and Romney are Kryptonite for Republican Candidates. I moved him up 25 Points, but the McConnell relationship was ‘too much to bear'” and that incumbent Mississippi Governor Tate Reeves, “on the other hand, surged to a win for Governor in Mississippi after my involvement. Congratulations to Tate!”

CNN’s Manu Raju was asking around the Capitol to see how Republicans were feeling after a rough night for them in Kentucky, Ohio, and Virginia, finding few of them particularly confident or happy with the results ahead of next November’s apocalyptic battle between MAGA and democracy.

“We have to have a compelling message that appeals to suburban voters, no question about that. I think that’s economy, jobs, cost of living, public safety, the border. I think those are the issues that are going to resonate,” Republican Senate Whip John Thune told Raju, as if Glenn Youngkin and Daniel Cameron weren’t trying to make those very issues “resonate” in their respective states.

“I think it’s about execution, it’s about messaging, and we’ve got to do a better job. Yesterday, to me, it was a complete failure. These were races that Democrats didn’t win – Republicans lost, we didn’t show up, same way we didn’t show up in Georgia in 2020,” said North Carolinian Thom Tillis.

Speaker of the House Mike Johnson followed up on his non-comment to Raju on the massive Ohio abortion referendum defeat from Tuesday night by not commenting about it on Wednesday either.

“There’s a big difference in running on state issues, and these were all state elections, and running on federal policies, defending Joe Biden,” said NRSC chief Steve Daines, trying to downplay it like he wouldn’t be all “SCREAM AT THE SKY LIBS! LMAO!” if it was a good night for the GOP.

Spandex-wearing grapple-freak Jim Jordan’s stupid Judiciary Committee hearing titled “Free Speech on College Campuses” was interrupted repeatedly on Wednesday by the free speech that Jordan didn’t quite feel like listening to, with one of his lackeys even bitching, with the usual lack of irony, in a tweet “🚨🚨🚨 Pro-Hamas ‘protestors’ are currently trying disrupt our hearing on free speech on college campuses and fighting anti-semitism. Disgusting,” as the shouts kept flaring up.

Kremlin collaborator Mikhail Filiponenko’s car experienced a mechanical malfunction on Wednesday, specifically that it exploded with him inside of it as he started the engine outside of his home in Ukraine’s Russian-occupied east, Politico EU reports, citing a celebratory announcement from Kyiv.

“Yeah, it was our operation,” Ukrainian military intel spokesman Andriy Cherniak told Politico in a phone call. Filiponenko, an “elected” legislator “was involved in the organization of torture camps in the occupied territories of the Luhansk region, where prisoners of war and civilian hostages were subjected to inhumane torture. Filiponenko himself personally brutally tortured people,” according to a statement from the Ukrainian military intelligence directorate. “All war criminals will be punished.”

French intel officials investigating a wave of Stars of David being spray-painted around a Jewish neighborhood of the 14th arrondissement of Paris have discovered a connection with the suspects and a pro-Russian Moldovan separatist described only as “Antoli P,” Europe 1 reports.

A source within the French DGSI – the equivalent of the American FBI – said the tagging “fits perfectly into Russia’s response to France, after the expulsion, more than a year ago, of 35 Russian diplomats,” with the express intent of internally destabilizing western Europe. A Moldovan couple were arrested in the spray-painting spree, having been paid 50 euros each to scare the shit out of people and exacerbate an already deeply tense situation amid the Israel-Hamas war.

Disgraced former President Donald J Trump has lost People Magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive” award for the 38th year in a row, the celebrity media outlet confirmed late Tuesday in an article celebrating the coronation of sort of popular Hollywood actor Patrick Dempsey, most widely recognized for his role as Dr Dreamy or something on the long-running ABC primetime soap opera “Grey’s Anatomy.”

The setback loser comes amid a maelstrom of legal troubles in multiple federal and local jurisdictions facing the fat 2020 election loser including the imminent destruction of his corrupt business empire, a second federal defamation lawsuit brought by his rape victim EJ Carroll, and 91 felony charges that will almost certainly see him die in prison if convicted of a mere fraction of them.

“I’m glad it’s happening at this point in my life, It’s nice to have the recognition, and certainly my ego takes a little bump, but it gives me the platform to use it for something positive,” the 57 year-old Dempsey told People Magazine about being recognized for his handsome visage, one unburdened by the prospect of being incarcerated for the rest of his life for attempting to destroy democracy while the state of New York seizes his properties to pay civil fraud judgments levied by a court.

GOP underperforms again as Democrats use abortion, turnout to win marquee 2023 elections. Calls grow for Ronna McDaniel to resign as RNC chairwoman. | Just The News https://t.co/eo3xQRex8D

— John Solomon (@jsolomonReports) November 8, 2023

Ed Durr, the onomatopoeically-named MAGA trucker who shocked New Jersey Dems by defeating then-incumbent Dem state Senate President Steve Sweeney in 2021 after spending $153 on his campaign, was ejected from office by Dem John Burzichelli on Tuesday, Gothamist reports.

Durr had recently declared “A woman does have a choice! Keep her legs closed,” which would indicate to us that he prooooobably did not get a whole lot of votes from that crucial bloc.

“Tomorrow my wonderful and beautiful daughter, Ivanka, is going to the Lower Manhattan Courthouse, at the direction of Letitia Peekaboo James, the Corrupt and Racist New York State Attorney General, who has allowed Murder and Violent Crime in New York to flourish, and a Trump Hating, out of control Clubhouse appointed Judge, Arthur Engoron, who viciously ruled against me before the trial even started, wouldn’t even consider a Jury, and said that Mar-a-Lago, in Palm Beach, Florida, is worth $18,000,000 when, in fact, it is worth 50 to 100 times that amount.”

“Other properties likewise. Based on this information, which is so ridiculous, he said that I was a Fraud, when in fact it is Letitia James and the Judge who are Fraudulent for setting such LOW VALUATIONS in order to undermine and discredit my Financial Statements, thereby making me look bad – Election Interference! Now they are trying to bring Ivanka into the case, despite the Court of Appeals ruling that she cannot be charged. Sad!” writes fat former President Trump on Truth social.

So really we lied in the headline. Trump didn’t address the losses in Kentucky, Virginia, or Ohio at all, because he doesn’t actually care. “WITCH HUNT!” he screamed in a subsequent post.

Democrats in Virginia won control of the state’s House of Delegates on Tuesday which, along with their hold of the state Senate, just utterly fucking guts douchey vest-wearing “Diet MAGA” Governor Glenn Youngkin’s agenda and his mythical 2024 presidential ambitions, per Decision Desk HQ.

Democrat Judge Daniel McCaffery has defeated Republican Carolyn Carluccio in the race for a vacant seat on the Pennsylvania state Supreme Court, increasing the court’s blue majority from 4-2 to 5-2, the Associated Press reports on yet another important win for the good guys this Tuesday.

“If even one Pennsylvanian has concerns about our electoral process, we must address them. Our government cannot simply dismiss the concerns of a large portion of our electorate,” Carluccio had told the Philadelphia Inquirer back in May, making this victory that much sweeter.