Law enforcement officials tell NBC’s Ken Dilanian that earlier reporting on explosives being found in the car some asshole rammed into the US-Canadian border checkpoint were incorrect, making us look like assholes for trusting Fox News as an upstream source on the earlier story.

This may have been an attempted terror attack along our northern border.

If so, our worst fears are being realized.@JoeBiden is inviting this kind of chaos into our country.

It was only a matter of time before bad people took him up on his offer. https://t.co/ppdPEIncxA

— Kari Lake (@KariLake) November 22, 2023

They didn’t have a whole lot to work with since the attack happened literally outside the border which is obviously not “open” contrary to dogmatic MAGA-ism. But since it feels like Biden is somehow responsible coupled with that obviously there’s far less political utility to be found by – far more realistically – blaming Liberal Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s policies.

The problem however is that, assuming they were Islamic terrorists (no reason not to at this point until evidence otherwise surfaces) “invited” by Biden might end up prompting comparisons with Trump’s record on jihadist-inspired violence on American soil. It’s not great, considering eight people were killed in a vehicular attack by an ISIS wannabe Uzbek immigrant on Manhattan’s west side in October 2017 and, more damning because the Trump Administration literally invited the asshole, a Saudi fighter pilot trainee linked to Al-Qaeda shot and killed three sailors at a Navy air base in Pensacola, Florida in 2019. But it’s okay if Trump still just feels tougher on terror.

Oh and funny enough, the original version of Kari’s tweet said this “looks kike [sic] at [sic] attempted terrorist attack along our northern border,” which Twitter user Troy Matthews points out “Overriding auto correct will save a word as your preference.” Too bad we missed the antisemitism.

Sources tell Fox News the Wednesday vehicle explosion at the “Rainbow Bridge” US-Canada border crossing between Niagara Falls, Ontario and New York that killed at least two people was a terrorist attack. The crossing remains closed while the FBI investigates to figure out what the fuck just happened. The two dead were apparently inside the vehicle and a CBP officer was injured.

Linden Nelson, a Michigan businessman and major political donor, offered to fund a $20 million war chest for Democratic candidate for Minnesota’s US Senate nomination in 2024 Hill Harper if he dropped out of the Senate race and challenged controversial Democratic Congressional progressive leader Rashida Tlaib for her House seat, Politico reports.

Harper declined the offer made by Nelson, who has contributed to both major Parties in the past, but who has leaned toward supporting Democrats in the last few election cycles, including retiring Democratic Senator Debbie Stabenow, whose seat Harper seeks.  Tlaib’s situation isn’t unique among those members of Congress who have spoken out about their opposition to Israeli military action in Gaza in response to a Hamas attack on civilians last month:  most of the others are now facing challenges from candidates with more pro-Israel stances.

MAGA influencer Laura Loomer’s site, Loomered.com on Tuesday published a story alleging a sprawling conspiracy connecting George Soros and his son Alex with Todd Graves, CEO of chicken finger chain Raising Cane’s, with Donna Kelce, the mother of Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce who is dating pop star Taylor Swift who is somehow getting coerced into publicly supporting Biden to be permitted to buy her music catalog back from Alex Soros, according to Loomer and her employee Charles Downs whose article contains a lot of their own tweets.

“Has @taylorswift13 made a deal with George Soros and Alex Soros to get the rights to her music back in exchange for getting Zoomers registered to vote Democrat against President Trump ahead of the 2024 Presidential election?” Loomer had tweeted back in September, before Raising Cane’s chicken fingers became part of the plot (Full disclosure: Raising Cane’s built a new location in downtown Brooklyn that has not opened yet and Spartan is wondering what the fuck is going on with that, they even lit up the menu screens and put in all the seating like two months ago).

The Raising Cane’s connection did not become clear to Loomer and Downs until this week however, when the Chiefs filmed some skit with Donna Kelce pretending to work the drive-thru at an Overland Park, Kansas Raising Cane’s location. Because the CEO Graves is a Biden donor, this means that a pop star who already endorsed Biden in 2020 entirely of her own volition is somehow getting strongarmed into supporting him another time, even if Joe accidentally called her “Britney.”

“Many times when I’m making a Speech, which are always sold out with lots of people not being able to get into the Arena or Venue, the Fake News will watch people come down from the rafters (bad seats) onto the floor – nearer the stage. As soon as this happens, the Lamestream Media starts taking pictures of these once fully occupied areas and seats, and then come out with a story – ‘Trump Arena wasn’t full’ or, ‘Trump didn’t have a Sellout’ – When they know that is not true.”

“They say it without fail! The fact is, thousands of people get sent away, we never have empty seats, because we’re selling a product people want – AMERICAN GREATNESS! This is a Movement like none other, and the Failing Media should get on board now. Our Country needs it, and they need it because their lack of credibility is causing many News Organizations to fail. They’re going out of business because they don’t tell the truth,” writes disgraced former President Trump at the end of a long, very long, posting binge on Truth Social in which he aired various grievances.

The “I got Iowa ‘First in the Nation,’ Ethanol security, and 28 Billion Dollars for our Great Farmers. I also protected Social Security and MediCare. DeSanctimonious and Birdbrain did NOTHING,” part of a rant about DeSantis backer Governor Kim Reynolds was pretty funny because no shit they were never president and thus cannot lie or grossly exaggerate what they did for Iowa in office.

Yeah, the whole clickbait and switch joke where we take a story about some former Third World leader getting arrested or some shit and intentionally omit proper nouns to make readers think it was somehow Trump is kind of played out, so we just have to be upfront on this Al-Jazeera story about former Guinea President Alpha Conde getting investigated for treason two years after the army ousted him in a coup when Conde illegally tried to extend his rule and…

Dammit, the “treason” part was good. Would’ve fit in well with the Trump joke. Could’ve even kept it going into the lede with the whole trying to remain in office in defiance of the Constitution part. You could almost say Conde’s like the Trump of Africa… Or maybe more accurately that Africa has a lot of Trumps because Donald is like a corrupt third-world despot, which is an editorial insight that’s about as fresh and original as our annoying lie by omission headlines.

The still-unofficial results of the 2023 Caddo Parish, Louisiana sheriff’s race have found Democrat candidate Henry Whitehorn ahead of Republican rival John Nickelson by one vote, or 0.00002 percent out of 43,241 ballots, disgraced non-journalist John Solomon’s shitty website reports.

Nickelson on Tuesday paid the $1,200 recount fee to the parish clerk, kind of a no-brainer considering it was just one vote. If it stands it may actually be the closest result ever in American election history (percentage-wise, obviously as you can’t get any closer than one in absolutes), even closer than Republican Louis Wyman’s 0.000901 percent, two-vote win over Dem John Durkin in the 1974 New Hampshire US Senate election, the closest listed on Wikipedia. We can’t be sure of how comprehensive that list is so if any Python nerds in the audience want have some free time to scrape Ballotpedia and then crunch those numbers please let us know how it goes.

Biden admin trashed for bragging about lowering gas prices: ‘Arsonist takes credit for putting out fire’ https://t.co/m7K2IKFbLy

— Fox News (@FoxNews) November 22, 2023

Having already implemented a kill switch on performances by western acts after the heterosexual lead singer and bassist of The 1975 kissed on stage during a July show in Kuala Lumpur, the conservative Islamic morality police in Malaysia have warned British pop act Coldplay that their Wednesday concert will be stopped mid-show on a mere hint of similar trolling, the AP reports.

On one hand anything that pisses off oppressive religious extremists merits recognition and we support any such acts defying state-sanctioned intolerance. On the other hand it’s Coldplay and we’re kind of wondering why they couldn’t just find some other pretext and then actually cancel the show so we don’t feel so torn about this. Can’t Malaysia just make up some visa issue or maybe plant some heroin inside the piano so we don’t end up indirectly approving their homophobia?

In a video posted last week endorsing and wishing far right now-Argentina President-elect Javier Milei luck ahead of his large victory in Sunday’s runoff election, Florida MAGA Congresswoman Maria Elvira Salazar also took time to praise the Third Reich’s top post-WWII retirement community’s ethnically white homogeneity relative to most other Latin American countries, NBC News reports.

“We want it to be one of the best countries in the world, because it’s what they deserve. A country that has everything. It has soy, it has meat, it has minerals, it has land, it has water, and it has only one culture, only one religion and only one race, completely homogenous,” Salazar, a Cuban-American conservative representing the Miami-area 27th District, said en Español in the video.

Salazar then questioned why, with all of those Christian, Caucasian, and natural resource things going for it, that Argentina’s economy has been an absolute shitshow for the past few decades.

Dems eyeing Salazar’s seat were quick to seize on the pro-racial purity endorsement of the fucking maniac Milei, with DCCC spokesman Jose Munoz saying “María Elvira Salazar’s comments praising the notion of advancing a society with a single culture, religion, and race are antithetical to our American values. It is clear that Salazar is not interested in working to lower costs, provide jobs, or protect the fundamental rights of all diverse people who make up Florida’s 27th district.”

In response Salazar spokeswoman Mariza Smajlaj told NBC “Argentines were united as one people against the failures of communism” going on about how Milei was the right choice. Naturally she did not address the Nazi-ish shit her boss had said, or that the far right dictatorship that fell in the 1980s after losing a completely unforced war with the United Kingdom might just kind of also share some of the responsibility for the endless state of economic crisis in the once-prosperous country.

Sources tell the Financial Times that US authorities in recent months thwarted a plot by Indian dictator Narendra Modi to kill New York City lawyer Gurpatwant Singh Pannun, an American and Canadian citizen who is general counsel for Sikhs for Justice, a group advocating for an independent Sikh homeland called “Khalistan” to be carved out of territory in western India. This follows the successful June 2023 hit on Canadian-based Sikh community leader Hardeep Singh Nijjar outside of a temple outside Vancouver that led to a serious diplomatic fallout between India and Canada.

At least one person has been charged in a sealed federal indictment in the plot, but sources say the accused has already slipped out of the country while the Justice Department were reluctant to unseal it before the Canadians complete their investigation into the Nijjar assassination.

Per the Financial Times, knowledge of the plot prompted a warning from the Biden Administration to the Modi Regime, but it’s not clear whether the hit squad backed down on Pannun after the warning or if the warning came after the FBI had disrupted the plot. Either way, Modi’s goons might want to start looking into outsourcing their wetwork to local gangbangers after getting caught twice this year coming after Sikh leaders on Canadian and US soil. There are cleaner ways to make a mess.

National Republican Congressional Committee Chairman Richard Hudson tells Punchbowl News he’s feeling good about House Republicans hanging on to the majority in 2024 – despite what you might call “headwinds” – saying they’ve “got great candidates all over the country, I think we’ve got a tremendous opportunity to grow the majority. So we’ll see what the issue sets are next year.”

Hudson was maybe just a little more terse when asked if he had any direct response to Democratic optimism that their messaging on abortion will play well, even in red states, saying only “Nah.”

“Moderate” California Republican Congressman John Duarte was more willing to confront the grim reality of the ongoing clusterfuck being self-inflicted by his harder-right colleagues. “I don’t think some of these guys have cable. I mean, did they not watch the election results? The American people do not want a federal abortion policy. They want very carefully considered state abortion policy, so we need to leave this alone,” Duarte said about why he and other vulnerable GOP members have been opposing bills like the agriculture package that had included an amendment to prohibit the access to over-the-counter birth control and other suicidally stupid shit.

Coordinated propaganda to condition your kids to
be content with far less freedom. N.J. and Calif made back-to-back announcements. https://t.co/L9oNeuDhKQ

— Laura Ingraham (@IngrahamAngle) November 22, 2023

“Ron DeDeSanctimonious, in an act of sheer desperation, paid Iowa preacher Bob Vander Plaats $100,000, and then got his Endorsement? We did not seek it. What is going on here?” writes disgraced former President Trump on Truth Social, reacting to the key endorsement the heels-wearing governor’s allies shelled out for in the Cornhole State. Other than pointing out that Vander Plaats accepted the money, it is plain that Donald is holding back on him. Maybe that’ll change, but for now it is interesting, especially when you contrast it with Trump not-at-all holding back on Iowa Governor Kim Reynolds and she came out and endorsed Pudding-Fingers.

In an unsurprising result in a district with an R+11 rating from Cook Political, Republican Celeste Maloy is projected to keep GOP control of Utah’s 2nd Congressional District seat, vacated by Chris Stewart, who resigned from Congress to care for his ailing wife.  Election guru Dave Wasserman called the race against Democrat Kathleen Riebe and some Libertarian douchewaddle.  The race fills the 435th and final seat in the House of Representatives.

US fighter jets struck two sites in Iraq used as bases by Iranian-backed forces conducting terrorist operations against US and allied forces in the country and in Syria, ABC News reports.  The American attack was the fourth round of strikes against sites operated by Kataib Hezbollah, with these striking an operations center and something referred to as a “command and communications node,” both of which were located south of Baghdad.   Kataib Hezbollah is believed responsible for more than 60 strikes against US and coalition forces since mid-October.

Illustrating more why Iowa is not a representation of anything:  an influential Iowa evangelical pastor to whom Ron DeSantis-affiliated groups paid $95,000 to get their candidate to speak before his Family Leader Foundation as his campaign started cratering over the summer has officially endorsed the Republican Florida governor for the upcoming Iowa caucuses, Reuters reports.

Bob Vander Plaats’s endorsement don’t mean much in presidential races, but they do seem to be prescient in Iowa.  An unsuccessful politician himself–he had three unsuccessful shots at running for governor himself before 2011–Vander Plaats endorsed the Iowa caucus winners in 2012 (Rick Santorum) and in 2016 (Ted Cruz).

US, Israeli, Hamas, and Qatari negotiators on Tuesday announced an agreement has been reached for a multi-day ceasefire and an Israel hostage/Palestinian prisoner exchange. More to come.