Scientists with the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Adiminstration announced last week that the nasty crab infestation that had been chewing and scratching their way through the bottom of the frigid waterway has been largely taken care of, with the team finding that “Marine heatwaves, a component of our impact on the Earth’s climate, can bring both expected and unexpected environmental change. Between 2018 and 2021, after a period of historically high crab abundance and a series of marine heatwaves, the population of snow crab in the Bering Sea declined by 10 billion. [The team] used survey data to model the potential drivers of the decline in this ecologically and commercially important species. They found that the temperature of the water was not above the species’ thermal limits, but it did increase their caloric needs considerably. This increase, in conjunction with a restriction in range, led to an unexpected mass starvation event.”

I'm running for Congress, to fight for Arizona's 8th.

Biden has failed. We need Trump back. We need to stop inflation, Build the Wall, avoid WW3, and secure Arizona's water future. We need to fight for our families.

DONATE NOW to send me to the House! https://t.co/SHG8CRcJHu pic.twitter.com/atte7wNHeu

— Blake Masters (@bgmasters) October 26, 2023

So many 2022 Arizona Republican losers, so few 2024 elections to run for. After being told on no uncertain terms by 2022 gubernatorial loser Kari Lake that she would fuck up his world if he jumped in the GOP primary race to take on Dem Congressman Ruben Gallego for the seat occupied by useless “independent” Senator Kyrsten Sinema, fascist Reptiloid and 2022 Senate race loser Blake Masters on Thursday declared he was running instead for the US House seat being vacated by retiring far right Congresswoman Debbie Lesko. He’ll face off in the primary against 2022 Attorney General loser Abe Hamadeh who declared just hours after Lesko announced her retirement… but before Lesko endorsed state House Speaker Ben Toma, who hasn’t even declared yet.

Literally just a few minutes ago Hamadeh announced Kari Lake had endorsed him, almost certainly in response to Masters entering the race less than an hour ago. Guess she really hates Masters.

Florida Villager and registered Republican Lyle Parrot is in a whole heap of trouble after screaming “for fucking with me, I’m going to break your throat,” demanding to be shot in the face, and finally taking a failed swing at one of the sheriff’s deputies responding to a drunken scene Parrot was making at the Village of De Luna community center pool – simply because one of the deputies called Parrot’s wife to come pick him up to dry out, Fox 35 Orlando reports.

“Representatives of the Palestinian Hamas movement are visiting Moscow, Russian Foreign Ministry spokeswoman Maria Zakharova said at a briefing. ‘I can also say and confirm that representatives of the relevant Palestinian movement are on a visit to Moscow. As for contacts, we will inform you further,’ she said. Earlier, a source in the Palestinian delegation told RIA Novosti that a Hamas delegation led by Abu Marzuk, a member of the movement’s Politburo, was visiting Moscow,” says a Thursday press release from Kremlin state media agency RIA Novosti, translated by Google.

Well this sure is a pickle for the fanboys whose simplistic binary worldview stipulates that Russia good, Hamas bad, right? Like it’d be so much easier on them if the Islamic terrorist scumbags had gone to Kyiv and were welcomed by Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky, because Zelensky is a political ally of President Biden. But this is Russian dictator Vladimir Putin’s regime heating up the tea kettle and putting out a plate of dry, crumbly cookies for the guys who just slaughtered at least 1,400 Israelis and took hundreds more hostage a few weeks ago. Putin is Trump’s ally, not Biden’s.

They tried to spin it that Biden purposely allowed the October 7th attacks to happen or was otherwise complicit or something. “Crooked Joe” was supposed to have “blood on his hands” after the attack. This doesn’t really help that narrative. Actually hurts it significantly. Probably foolish to expect MAGA trolls to even try to reconcile these facts within their reality, though one can take solace knowing that they’re definitely not happy with the Kremlin entertaining Hamas.

Here is Trump in 2018 bragging about an “amazing” 4.1 percent GDP growth: “These are great numbers”

GDP just hit 4.9 percent under @JoeBiden. pic.twitter.com/1wksrjbRJ9

— Biden-Harris HQ (@BidenHQ) October 26, 2023

“The Judge in the New York State AG case refuses to accept the overturning of his decisions by the Appeals Court. This is a first in the history of the State! HE HAS GONE CRAZY IN HIS HATRED OF ‘TRUMP'” and blah blah blah “This is Judicial Misconduct, coupled with Prosecutorial Misconduct, and somebody from the State of New York must step in and stop this Complete and Total Miscarriage of Justice!” screamed disgraced former President Trump on Truth Social on Thursday.

It’s the second time in just over 12 hours that the fat fuck cried out for someone in the New York state government to somehow stop the trial. On Wednesday night Trump wrote “So unfair. I don’t even get a Jury Trial. A blight on the New York State Judicial System. Businesses are watching all over the world, and never coming in, only moving out. The Governor should get involved. Election Interference by my Political Opponent!” as if Democrat Gov Kathy Hochul would give a shit or has the power to halt a case brought by a duly elected Attorney General even if she did.

Not even 24 hours on the job yet and new Speaker of the House Mike Johnson is already responding to a major crisis on Thursday by introducing a massive, comprehensive prayer package to address gun violence in the wake of the horrific shooting rampage by right wing militia member and mental patient Robert Card in Lewiston, Maine on Wednesday night, CNN’s Manu Raju reports.

“This is a dark time in America… Prayer is appropriate in a time like this, that the evil can end and this senseless violence can stop,” Johnson said in the Capitol to reporters who asked what kind of action Americans could expect from the House now led by the devout Christian Louisianan.

Lying piece of shit and very credibly accused felon Long Island Congressman George Santos on Thursday added himself as a co-sponsor to a resolution censuring fellow Empire State Representative Jamaal Bowman for stupidly pulling a fire alarm in a House office building to stall a vote on the spending package a few weekends ago, CBS News’s Scott MacFarlane reports.

“The House of Representatives censures Jamaal Bowman, Representative of the 16th Congressional District of New York, for violating District of Columbia Criminal Code Section 22-1319 by knowingly causing a false alarm of fire in an attempt to obstruct official proceedings of the House… Bowman will forthwith present himself in the well of the House of Representatives for the pronouncement of censure,” reads the resolution as introduced by Michigan Republican Congresswoman Lisa McClain and passed on to right wing website the Daily Caller. Their article on it was printed late Wednesday, likely before Santos signed on as a co-sponsor, but they still mention him, saying the “misdemeanor count against Bowman makes him the second representative from New York during the 118th Congress to face criminal charges, after Republican Rep George Santos of New York’s 3rd District.”

That’s certainly one way to work a dude who meant well despite acting like a dumbass and will plead guilty to it this morning into the same sentence as another guy facing at least several decades in federal prison for a litany of felonies and defrauded the NRCC, stole people’s credit card numbers, robbed a homeless veteran whose dog was dying of cancer, so on and so forth. That’s some good wordsmithing there by the Daily Caller, however it’s not clear why they needed to bring Santos into this at all since, again, we’re pretty sure he wasn’t on board yet when they wrote it.

The Massachusetts Republican Party still needs someone to run against Dem Senator Elizabeth Warren next year, Politico reports on an open casting call situation in the Bay State.

Somebody, anybody. Come on. Who doesn’t want to take a shot here? Christ, you could become a member of the most elite legislative body in the United States. Only 100 Americans are Senators. It’s a really big deal! They work on really important issues. And the perks are incredible! You get a staff and office and can even meet the president! Senators get to visit the White House all the time!

Okay, sure. Liz Warren is wicked popular in Massachusetts. She’s got a lot of friends at Harvard and all the other big elite universities. It’s a really blue state and beating her might be tough. But nobody wants to even try? Jeez! You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take, guys. And while everyone says Mass is like so liberal there’s a lot of really patriotic history in the state, something a GOP campaign can easily pick up as a theme. Shit, the freaking Tea Party happened there in 1773 or whenever! You could wear a tricorn hat and yell “The Marxists are coming! The Marxists are coming!” while ringing a bell and riding on a horse! That would be so freaking cool and authentic.

Or you could say “groomers” instead of “Marxists.” Whatever. Or dress up like a pilgrim and wear one of those belt buckle hats instead. People like Thanksgiving. Look, it would be a fun campaign. You could do it if you’re a Massachusetts Republican. Someone’s gotta step up for the team there.

MAINE MANHUNT: At least 30 people were also injured. Breaking details: https://t.co/vTR5oKalru pic.twitter.com/YT3a8mJbFS

— Fox News (@FoxNews) October 26, 2023

“Democracy is messy sometimes, but it is our system,” now-anointed House Speaker Mike Johnson said at a press briefing after winning the nomination in the Republican conference. “We’re going to restore your trust in what we do here.”  Well, yeah, democracy is messy, but what happened with House Republicans wasn’t democracy.

Democracy would’ve meant Hakeem Jeffries was Speaker after the first 14 ballots (the first time).  Even within the Republican caucus, democracy would’ve meant Kevin McCarthy be named the Speaker because he had the majority support of the Party.  When he lost it–remember, Kev only lost support of eight of 221 members, not a majority–Scalice had the majority.  Then Jordan.  Then Emmer.  Finally, it was the anonymously named Johnson.

Johnson didn’t win the majority like his predecessors.  He had to get everyone’s agreement that he carry the gavel.  That’s not democracy; that’s “Meh, alright,” political compromise.  The best candidate for the job (within the House GOP, which is a low bar) was never at issue:  it wasn’t Mike Johnson. 

As expected, Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith on Wednesday flagged fat former President Trump’s freakout over the news that Mark Meadows had been granted immunity for his testimony to the grand jury investigating Donald’s failed post-2020 election coup attempt.

Smith included the Truth Social post in a motion opposing Judge Chutkan’s stay of the gag order she imposed on the fat fuck last week. “In the few days since the administrative stay has been in place, the defendant has returned to the very sort of targeting that the Order prohibits, including attempting to intimidate and influence foreseeable witnesses, and commenting on the substance of their testimony. For example, on October 24, 2023, the defendant took to social media to respond to a news report claiming that his former Chief of Staff, identified in the indictment, had testified in exchange for a grant of immunity… Today, in a courthouse press conference in New York, the defendant again commented on the Chief of Staff’s credibility and anticipated testimony.”

In a separate motion submitted Wednesday again asking the judge to force Trump to commit to his planned “advice of counsel” defense, Smith also hilariously pointed out that “If the defendant notices such a defense, there is good reason to question its viability, especially because in the time since the Government filed its motion three charged co-defendant attorneys pleaded guilty to committing crimes in connection with the 2020 election. At the very least, those guilty pleas highlight the complications that may arise if the defendant should assert an advice-of-counsel defense and underscore the need to resolve all issues well before the start of trial. If disclosure is delayed, it may result in disruption to the trial schedule.” Good shade there.

CNN reports that at least 16 people are reportedly dead and “50 to 60” wounded at two locations in Lewiston, Maine after a shooter with an assault rifle struck at a bar and bowling alley and at a warehouse distribution center about four miles away.  It’s unknown if it was the same shooter at both locations or if two separate shooters are involved.  The local sheriff’s office posted a photo on Facebook from a security camera of the shooter walking into the bowling alley, asking the public for help identifying him.

Update 9:42 p.m. ET:  MSNBC reports 22 dead and 55 to 60 injured at three different locations.  Authorities seem to believe one shooter is responsible for the shootings in the three locations over the course of an hour.

Update 10:45 p.m. ET:  MSNBC reports President Biden was informed of the shooting while at a State Dinner honoring the Prime Minister of Australia.  Biden began making phone calls to local officials and excused himself from the remainder of the dinner to oversee the federal response.  MSNBC also reports that law enforcement officials have identified the individual but have not confirmed the person’s name.  The network confirms that officials say the alleged shooter has had recent mental health issues.

Members of the United Autoworkers with the Ford Motor Company have reached an agreement with their employer to end their part of the ongoing labor strike, the Associated Press reports. No word yet if former President Trump will take credit for it now or wait until the strikers’ compatriots with GM and Chrysler (“Stellantis” is fucking stupid. It’s still Chrysler to us) reach similar agreements.

Several Republican Congressmen from New York State will again move to expel lying piece of shit colleague George Santos now that the whole Speaker clusterfuck is over with, CBS News reports.

Six of the remaining 15 defendants in the Fulton County, Georgia RICO case against the Trump Regime have been offered plea deals to get them to cooperate against the other nine, CNN reports while specifying that disgraced and obese former President Trump is in the latter group.

Dem New York Congressman Jamaal Bowman was charged with a violation of local code by the District of Columbia Attorney General’s office for pulling the fire alarm in one of the House office buildings a few weeks ago, Politico’s Kyle Cheney reports on a development in the story that the MAGA freaks who screamed that Bowman was worse than a Capitol rioter are unlikely to be satisfied with since it sounds like a misdemeanor at worst… if it even is an actual criminal charge.

Yet again a federal prosecutor has told Jim Jordan’s minions that neither he nor Delaware US Attorney and now special counsel David Weiss were ever blocked from bringing tax charges against Hunter Biden, as US Attorney for the Central District of California Martin Estrada further discredited the byzantine fairy tales told by IRS “whistleblowers” Gary Shapley and that other asshole whatever his name is in a closed interview with the House Judiciary investigators Wednesday, the AP reports.