Appearing on Newsmax to keep talking about his tedious bullshit investigation of James Biden paying back his brother Joe for a personal loan with some not very clean money, House Oversight hick James Comer tried to sort of mount a defense of his own strikingly similar situation involving his asshole brother Chad before host Eric Bolling simply talked over him, prompting Comer to drop it.

Besides the widely-known loses in state elections on Tuesday, conservatives who pushed the culture war agenda favored by Republicans like Donald Trump and Ron DeSantis also fell short in school board elections across the country, NBC News reports.

In the sixteen states where local school board elections were held Tuesday, candidates such as those backed by the inappropriately named Moms for Liberty censorship group came up short.  In the districts outside Des Moines, Iowa, for example, current liberal and moderate board members were able to hold off challenges from the group’s candidates and other religious groups.

The liberal run also extended to the all-important Philadelphia suburbs that can swing the state:  in Central Bucks and Pennridge districts, Democratic candidates won seats against conservative candidates who vowed to ban books on gender and LGBTQ issues.

Dipshit Republican Tennessee Senator Marsha Blackburn on Thursday said she’ll subpoena dead pimp Jeffrey Epstein’s flight records more than four years after he committed suicide in jail.

If true,I’m not surprised.

@GOPChairwoman your opinion is irrelevant as a party boss. The people chose the candidates not you and the establishment.

We need to remove this interference from our politics so that we can go back to winning elections. https://t.co/4K625EQAnu

— George Santos (@MrSantosNY) November 9, 2023

A lengthy puff piece in Vogue–because it’s Vogue, not Foreign Policy after all–and in a follow-up summary in The Daily Beast, rapper Nicki Minaj touches briefly on her foray into medical research during the height of the coronavirus pandemic and ensuing furor based on baseless conspiracy theories, but it misses the opportunity to dig deeper into issue most Americans want addressed.

“I’m one of those people who doesn’t go with a crowd.  I like to make my own assessment of everything without help from everyone,” she says without addressing the one question everyone has: How are her Trinidadian cousin’s friend’s testicles these days?  And the fact that the reporter did not ask that is journalistic malpractice.

Leaving no stone with nothing under it unturned in his relentless quest to find something, anything, he can use as the thinnest of pretexts to impeach Hunter Biden Joe Biden, House Oversight Chairbilly James Comer on Thursday subpoenaed George Bergès, the art dealer who sold Hunter Biden’s paintings, Elizabeth Naftali, the Dem donor who bought at least one of the pieces, as well as Eric Schwerin and Mervyn Yan, whom Comer describes as Hunter’s “business associates.”

“In addition, Chairman Comer requested a transcribed interview with a former Americore Holdings, LLC representative regarding ‘loans’ the Bidens received,” Comer added in his announcement. It takes a halfway decent Hunterghazi aficionado to appreciate that one as Americore was the health care company James Biden scammed out of a few hundred thousand dollars by telling them he could use his name to scrounge up some capital for the then-desperate Americore in the Middle East, some of the money he then immediately used to pay his brother Joe back on a personal loan.

To the West Virginians who have put their trust in me and fought side by side to make our state better – it has been an honor of my life to serve you. Thank you. My statement on my political future: pic.twitter.com/dz8JuXAyTL

— Senator Joe Manchin (@Sen_JoeManchin) November 9, 2023

In a leaked transcript of his interview with Latino news outlet Univision obtained by Semafor, disgraced former President Trump said he’ll be happy to use federal law enforcement against his political opponents, saying “Yeah. If they do this, and they’ve already done it, but if they follow through on this, yeah, it could certainly happen in reverse. It could certainly happen in reverse. What they’ve done is they’ve released the genie out of the box.” It’s “bottle,” you fucking idiot.

Donald then made it sound like he will be running again for a third term in 2028 if he wins next year, (which would be unconstitutional under the 22nd Amendment but when did that old rag ever stop him from doing whatever he wants?) saying, “They have done something that allows the next party – I mean, if somebody, if I happen to be president and I see somebody who’s doing well and beating me very badly, I say ‘Go down and indict them.’ They’d be out of business, out of the election.”

Trump also admitted he separated migrant children from their parents in 2018, which we were to understand that it was Obama who actually was the one doing it not him back then, telling the Univision interviewer “When you hear that you’re going to be separated from your family you don’t come. When you think you’re going to come into the United States with your family, you come… We did family separation. A lot of people didn’t come. It stopped people from coming by their hundreds of thousands because when they hear family separation, they say ‘Well, we better not go.'”

Per the Washington Post’s Tyler Pager, a member of the media “just fell on the press riser” causing the loud thump that interrupted President Biden’s speech to a crowd of UAW members in Illinois, with Joe drawing laughs with “I want the press to know that wasn’t me” who tripped. Biden continued joking about his age, saying “I know I only look like I’m 30 but I’ve been around a long time,” before turning his fire on his obese orange predecessor’s apocalyptic ravings.

Some asshole, almost certainly a MAGA terrorist, sent a letter laced with fentanyl to the Fulton County, Georgia elections office, WSBTV reports. It’s not clear if the letter was actually received because WSBTV’s article says, verbatim “Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger confirmed that there were reports of suspicious letters sent to election offices in multiple states and confirmed Fulton County was targeted. Officials told Channel 2′s Justin Gray that the letter was laced with fentanyl and that officials are trying to intercept it before it arrives,” which is sort of confusing.

“We’re working with our state and federal partners to determine if any additional Georgia officials are being targeted. Domestic terrorists will not trample on our right to free and fair elections. Election officials should be free from fear and intimidation, which is why I’ve called on the General Assembly to increase penalties for election interference. We will work tirelessly to ensure that Georgia elections remain free, fair, and secure,” Raffensperger said in a statement on the matter.

ABC News also reports Washington Secretary of State Steve Hobbs announced that envelopes containing “unknown powdery substances” were discovered Wednesday by election workers in several counties in that state, so we could be looking at another “MAGA bomber“-like situation, minus the terrorist being too incompetent to build a functional bomb. Fentanyl is legitimately deadly.

There’s actually too much to unpack here, between Kev crying about the showboaters who kicked him out of the Speakership, not disagreeing with Raju suggesting Matt Gaetz should be expelled from the conference, saying Nancy Mace doesn’t “deserve” to win reelection, and Raju rattling off the reactions from the members McCarthy bitched to him about. It’s actually beautiful, in a way.

Russian asset Jill Stein on Thursday filed the paperwork to run for president on the Green Party ticket in the 2024 election after similarly astroturfed spoiler Cornel West fucked off a few months ago.

Dem Wisconsin Gov Tony Evers’s office said he’ll sign a Republican-backed bill expected to pass the state Assembly on Thursday which would allow county clerks to begin pre-processing mail-in ballots the day before election day, provided the state Senate passes the same bill, the AP reports.

“Gov Evers will veto any bill that enables politicians to interfere with our elections or makes it harder for eligible Wisconsinites to cast their ballot, but if there are common-sense proposals that help ensure Wisconsin’s elections continue to be fair, secure, and safe, he’ll certainly consider signing them,” said an Evers spokeswoman Britt Cudaback about the proposal, which allows workers not to count the votes but to sort them out and get ready for tabulation starting after polls close.

The change would’ve gone an extremely long way – or maybe even all the way – to preventing disgraced former President’s 2020 election night meltdown in which MAGA voters jammed polls on election day and Dem voters mailed in their ballots, causing his lead to evaporate then flip to Joe Biden the next day as the counting wrapped up. Last year the Republican-majority state Senate rejected a similar bill that the Assembly had passed, at least in part because of what batshit MAGA freak state Representative Janel Brandtjen “gives bad actors an extra day to cheat.”

House Republicans on Thursday decided they didn’t want to protect the American people from woke bullshit and canned a bill with an amendment attached that banned the Biden Administration from using the term “Latinx,” Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman reports. The bill would’ve also done a bunch of other stuff, but it’s the “Latinx” part that is the real failure for the American people here.

With not passing the bill out of the way, white nationalist Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene then stood up to introduce a resolution impeaching DHS Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas.

Complete shitbag G/O Media CEO Jim Spanfeller on Thursday announced the immediate closure of feminist-centric news website Jezebel, writing in a statement, “As of this week we are making the very, very difficult decision to suspend publication of Jezebel. Few decisions over the course of my career have been as excruciating, and I want to make clear this is in NO WAY a reflection on the Jezebel editorial team. They have had many successes over the past year or so and continue to do great work in difficult times. To an individual the Jezebel team has worked to meet and exceed their audience’s needs and wants in an incredibly important time for the core topics of the site.”

“Their urgent, breakthrough coverage of reproductive rights in this post-Roe era, as well as other key issues core to modern women, affirmed the brand’s storied legacy as the website that changed women’s media forever,” and blah blah blah the widely detested asshole continued.

Spanfeller is also famous for having ruined the once-extremely popular and well regarded sports news site Deadspin simply because they had too much non-sports content and shutting down Splinter News, which was the spiritual successor of Gawker after Peter Thiel destroyed it.

House Oversight Chairbilly James Comer and his brother Chad have been up to some financial shenanigans that if all things were equal in politics would merit that same level of scrutiny that Comer’s been applying to Joe and James Biden, according to a new report in the Daily Beast.

Normally we would summarize the Beast’s reporting but to be quite honest it’s pretty hard to follow and thus distill down here. That said, their headline “James Comer, Like Joe Biden, Also Paid His Brother $200K,” is as accurate as the exhaustive and complicated details are damning.

Just like Kathleen Kennedy, Kevin Feige emasculated his iconic Marvel heroes, piled on homosexuality, and buried us in sexless, humorless girlbosses… Now the news he won’t be making a Star Wars movie comes as something of a relief. https://t.co/n72Q3ujFRB

— Breitbart News (@BreitbartNews) November 9, 2023

Breitbart writer John Nolte on Thursday was relieved that a guy who turned a handful of obscure characters not even a lot of Marvel Comics fans knew existed into homosexuals and allegedly made Iron Man, Captain America, and other heroes less humorous than their source material won’t be directing a movie set in a fantasy galaxy where a girl boss and her long-lost twin brother bravely fought with a rebellion against a genocidal fascist autocracy led by two deranged religious fanatics who employed exclusively white men to run their deeply paranoid and insecure police state.

Far right New York Congresswoman Claudia Tenney on Thursday introduced an amendment to the upcoming government funding bill to reduce White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre’s salary to $1 annually, the latest attempt in a trend of MAGA dipshits in the House to punish thoughtcrimes against their version of reality. “She has repeatedly lied to the American people and acted in a condescending manner toward reporters and also violated the Hatch Act,” Tenney said as if she had the same issues with Jean-Pierre’s predecessors Sarah Huckabee and Kayleigh McEnany.

Speaking to the Associated Press about the death of a vegetable warehouse employee gruesomely killed by the pincers of an overeager industrial sorting robot, police in Gosong, South Korea on Thursday kind of blamed the victim for unintentionally siccing the simple-minded machine on him.

“It wasn’t an advanced, artificial intelligence-powered robot, but a machine that simply picks up boxes and puts them on pallets,” said Gosong detective Kang Jin-gi, making excuses for the technological terror that lifted the man up and crushed him on a conveyor belt simply for walking too close to its optical scanner whilst carrying a box of bell peppers. “It’s clearly not a case where a robot confused a human with a box – this wasn’t a very sophisticated machine,” said another law enforcement official, evidently similarly reluctant to bury himself and his colleagues with a likely unfathomable amount of paperwork involved with charging a robot with negligent homicide.

For the Gosong PD it’s basically an open-and-shut case of “Robot too stupid to commit murder, let insurance company and civil courts decide while we go work on convenience store stick-ups and pull over drivers for speeding… unless they’re self-driving cars. We’re staying out of that shit too.”