Apparently with enough on his proverbial legal plate–not to be confused with his McDonald’s tray–multi-market indicted felon Donald Trump has dropped his $500 million defamation lawsuit against his former attorney and Stormy subsidizer Michael Cohen, CBS News reports..

According to Trump’s frivolous lawsuit, Cohen made disparaging remarks against Trump, violated attorney-client privilege and enriched himself by charging Trump improper fees, meriting $500 million for The Donald’s pain and suffering–curiously twice the amount New York Attorney General Letitia James seeks in her civil fraud lawsuit.

“Given that President Trump is required to sit for deposition in a civil matter on Columbus Day, when he is scheduled to be in the Great State of New Hampshire, and while the President is fighting against the meritless claims that have been lodged against him in New York, Washington D.C., Florida, and Georgia, as well as continuing his winning campaign, where he is leading the Republicans by 60 points and Crooked Joe Biden by 11 points, to serve as our next President of the United States, President Trump has decided to temporarily pause his meritorious claims against Michael Cohen,” his campaign said in a statement.

More than 150 people have been killed in two separate attacks in nations torn apart by war.  According to the BBC, 51 civilians were killed in Hroza, a Ukrainian village in Kharkiv Oblast, while attending a funeral for other villagers killed in an earlier missile attack.  Officials say the fatalities account for more than 20% of the remaining population of the village.

In the Syria conflict, more than 100 people were killed when an explosive drone struck a graduation ceremony at a military academy in the city of Homs.  Most of those killed were the family of the graduates, including women and children.  The government has not identified which of the various violent factions in the country conducted the attack.

Thanks to a federal judicial system that still largely works, the state of Alabama will have a different Congressional map that will likely swing another of the state’s seven House seats to Democrats, the Washington Post reports.  The three-judge panel had to choose the map because the Republican state legislature refused to comply with a Supreme Court order that required a new map that created a second Black-majority district to help better represent the 27% of the voting populace who are Black.

The map will be used in the 2024 elections because there is no more time to design a new map before the primaries.  The Republicans have characterized the situation as having the map “forced” on them instead of acknowledging they completely ignored the Constitutional order of the Supreme Court.

Ralph Nader v.2024 presidential candidate Cornel West announced that he is leaving the Green Party nomination race and moving to become an independent unaffiliated candidate for president, ABC News reports.  With a campaign supported by PACs attempting to thwart Joe Biden’s reelection, West was reportedly losing support to become the Green Party’s nominee, so instead of having them break up with him, he pre-emptively broke up with them.

“Democracy means more choices, not backroom deals; it means freedom to vote your conscience without being shamed or bullied. As Dr. West’s campaign for president grows, he believes the best way to challenge the entrenched system is by focusing 100% on the people, not on the intricacies of internal party dynamics,” West’s campaign said in a statement.

Disgraced former President Trump allegedly blabbed about the US Navy’s nuclear submarine fleet to an Australian billionaire at Mar-a-Lago after he left office in 2021, sourced tell ABC News.

Anthony Pratt, who runs US-based packaging manufacturer Pratt Industries, has at least twice this year been interviewed by prosecutors and FBI agents about his conversations with Trump.

A new Economist/YouGov survey finds 65 percent of Biden 2020 voters want DINO Senator Bob Menendez to resign versus 8 percent saying he shouldn’t with the remaining 27 percent saying they’re not sure. This compares with 60 percent of Trump 2020 voters saying he should go, 8 percent saying he shouldn’t, and 32 percent saying not sure, revealing a marginal but still noticeable number of MAGAmericans aware of the implication of favoring Menendez’s exit from the Senate while he faces a damning federal criminal indictment wouldn’t be consistent with favoring Trump staying in the 2024 race while he faces four damning federal and state criminal indictments.

The discomfort of this position is something we keep hammering at and now we have it quantified among voters. Saying “I’m not sure” when they’re actually sure is the sign of a guilty conscience.

Extreme House Democrats are the Chaos Caucus. pic.twitter.com/SDtxWqdKg3

— NRCC (@NRCC) October 5, 2023

“As I am sure you are aware, your valuation of Mar-a-Lago has been cited in Judge Arthur Engoron’s determination this week that former President Donald Trump and the Trump Organization committed fraud by inflating the value of their assets. Between 2011 and 2021, you valued the Mar-a-Lago property between $18 million and $28 million. Last week, Donald Trump posted the following on Truth Social: ‘This highly partisan Democrat ‘Judge’ (All the Clubs, etc) just ruled that Mar-a-Lago was WORTH just 18 Million Dollars when, in fact, it may be worth 100 times that amount.'”

“Mar-a-Lago was listed as worth $490 million in financial documents given to banks. If the property value of Mar-a-Lago is so much higher than it was appraised, will you be amending the property value in line with the Trump family’s belief that the property is worth well over a billion dollars? I thank you for your time and consideration and look forward to a prompt response,” writes Florida Congressman Jared Moskowitz to Palm Beach County Property Appraiser Dorothy Jacks.

Always looking for exciting and interesting new ways to waste the justice system’s time with stupid bullshit, disgraced former President Trump’s lawyers on Thursday filed a “MOTION TO DISMISS INDICTMENT BASED ON PRESIDENTIAL IMMUNITY” in the case brought by Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith over the fat fuck’s post-2020 election coup attempt conspiracy.

And if any of you smartass libs are thinking “Well why’s he claiming immunity if he’s innocent?” then DAMN they got you beat on that one with “President Trump (the incumbent administration’s leading opponent in the upcoming Presidential election) emphatically denies the truth of any allegations in the indictment. Rather, this memorandum sets forth the facts alleged in the indictment so that their legal sufficiency may be assessed for a motion to dismiss.” GOTCHA LIBS! YOU ARE SO OWNED!

The part where they write “President Trump was acquitted of these charges after trial in the Senate, and he thus remains immune from prosecution. The Special Counsel cannot second-guess the judgment of the duly elected United States Senate,” is pretty fucking funny and just asking for it, since the indictment counts are not worded even remotely the same as the impeachment articles.

And then there’s the “The indictment is based entirely on alleged actions within the heartland of President Trump’s official duties, or at the very least, within the ‘outer perimeter’ of his official duties. As President Trump is absolutely immune from criminal prosecution for such acts, the Court should dismiss the indictment.” Jeez, make up your goddamned mind. Is it in “the heartland” or is it on the “outer perimeter”? Did anybody actually read this shit before they filed it?

The defense team in Dominion v MyPillow on Thursday filed a motion to withdraw from the case citing the old “outstanding invoices” problem that seems to keep coming up in the lawsuits brought by voting machine companies against certain far-right propagandists since the 2020 election.

Credibly alleged domestic abuser and former Trump White House aide now Ohio MAGA Congressman Max Miller tells CNN’s Manu Raju that his Orange God Emperor is “incredibly upset” over House Republicans’ current clusterfuck and complains at length about colleague Matt Gaetz for endangering the majority by setting in motion the end of cowardly House Speaker Kevin McCarthy.

To that end, Politico reports the disgraced former President is considering heading to Capitol Hill early next week to meet with his lowly thrall and supposedly feel out support for running to be Speaker of the House himself, which would be just the dumbest fucking thing ever but here we are.

Veteran Democratic strategist David Axelrod on Thursday tweeted that he’s hearing rumors demented billionaire Elon Musk and “others may be throwing into a super pac for the independent bid RFK Jr’s announcing next week. If true, it could be a significant factor” in the 2024 race.

“Significant factor” is might a bit of an understatement. We had anticipated a passive Musk endorsement for Bobby Jr but had neglected to remember that he’s also got billions to piss away… not to mention command of the most important social media network. Trump is counting on the low-turnout “democracy is gay” edgelords in the Musk and RFK fanbases to roll off the futon and show up for him next November. Probably why Axelrod did not at all seem troubled to share the news.

And definitely why on Wednesday the Daily Beast reported the MAGA Reich are getting ready to wage an all out war on Kennedy when he re-launches. “If he wants to run, run. Fine. But if he chooses to run as an independent, then he’s our opponent,” a Trump campaign source told the Beast. “He’s not this centrist that he portrays himself to be. He’s a hardline Democrat on a bunch of major issues that run against the Republican Party and specifically MAGA Republicans.” We would love for this source to follow-up if and when Musk dumps $100 million into backing Bobby Jr.

In fairly related news, the AP reports pro-Russia dipshit Cornel West has dropped out of the Green Party and is now going to run as an independent too. That’s not great for fat Donald either. It’s not like the Greens are this well-funded political powerhouse but whatever machinery they would’ve had at the ready to help get West on the ballot where it counts isn’t going to be available to him.

Former George Santos campaign treasurer Nancy Marks will plead guilty Thursday to unspecified charges that remain under seal, ABC News reports on what’s probably pretty bad for Georgie boy.

Marks, a longtime Long Island-area GOP campaign finance operative who served on MAGA former Congressman Lee Zeldin’s failed gubernatorial will appear before a federal judge at 3 PM on Thursday. Santos had tried to blame her for all the shit he did to earn 13 felony counts himself.

A Public Policy Polling survey of Dem New Jersey voters finds Congressman Andy Kim leading DINO asshole Senator Robert Menendez 63 to 10, which should be about as clear of a sign as any that it’s time Bobby Bribes to pack it in. Kim also holds a solid lead with New Jersey Governor Phil Murphy’s wife Tammy added to the question, with 42 percent of respondents still favoring him to Tammy Murphy’s 19 percent and Menendez’s 5 percent in case the piece of shit still runs.

Trailer-dwelling Residents of the Burntwood Mobile Home Park in southern Oklahoma City tell KFOR the park’s management threatened to evict tenants for speaking about the now 13-foot long cat-eating python that has made its home under an abandoned unit for more than five months.

A ten-year Burntwood trailer homer, who asked to remain anonymous in fear of eviction from management, says the lords of the single-wide kingdom knew about the snake since at least June but only last week was a removal expert hired for the job. “The only reason they finally did something was because a resident snapped a picture of it. Them sending out a warning to us to not talk to media, it’s intimidation all the way.” KFOR were able to obtain a text message from Burntwood management that read “We have had a few media outlets attempt to interview our residents regarding this issue. Must be a slow news week! If you are contacted by the media, you are encouraged to ask them to leave the community immediately and give them no comments.”

That’s when the depth of the cover-up dawned on the resident. “The trailer that the snake is at is just a couple blocks near the pool and they closed that this summer, but we had no clue why. They knew that this snake was out and that having residents in the pool might not be the safest choice.”

Fat former President Trump’s lawyers on Thursday filed a motion asking Florida MAGA Judge Aileen Cannon to move push back the start of the Orange Defendant’s trial on charges stemming from his theft of classified documents from the White House, arguing that they haven’t been able to set up a “SCIF” in the area to examine the top secret evidence for discovery purposes.

At this point Jack Smith’s team might as well just let it go. Even if Cannon doesn’t play along with this directly, she’s been dragging her ass in other ways for months and it’d be better if the calendar is cleared to make room for the Atlanta trial if possible. Better to make sure he’s sitting at the defendants’ table in a televised trial during the middle of the campaign rather than where the ref is wearing an orange jersey under her robe and the jurors hang their MAGA hats up on a rack in the break room before starting the day. It’s a bedrock common law principle that the accused is entitled to view the evidence against him, but this is just ridiculous with the “SCIF” and the clearances. Too much opportunity for delay that’s already being exploited. Punt the Mar-a-Lago ball down the field.

“The ridiculous AG case against me in New York, brought by the Racist and Incompetent Peekaboo James, is being studied and mocked all over the World. Companies are Fleeing! It, and the highly political, Trump Hating Judge, are DESTROYING the Image and Reputation of the New York State Legal System & Courts. I don’t even get a Jury! All of this while MURDERS & VIOLENT CRIME HIT UNIMAGINABLE RECORDS! This is sooo bad for New York. HELP! The respected Commercial Division, where it should have been sent in the first place, must take over this ‘sh.. show'” wrote disgraced former President Trump on his lame Twitter clone early Thursday morning.

Donald ducked out of the trial and headed to Florida before the end of testimony on Wednesday, probably afraid he would have an outburst in court, which sucks for those of us wanting to see him thrown in a jail cell or otherwise humiliated by a judge who’s grown increasingly tired of his bullshit.

Kremlin intel officials are frantically searching for an unknown state security agent who allegedly drunkenly revealed to a stranger that he was part of a plot to take out Russian dictator Vladimir Putin, according to a report from VChK-OGPU, a Telegram channel with sources inside Moscow’s military infrastructure. The following was translated from the original Russian by Google:

“According to a source from the Cheka-OGPU, the special services have been searching for several days for an unknown person who has planned to ‘remove’ Putin. No one would have attached much importance to information about yet another dissatisfied president if an employee of one of the law enforcement agencies had not been involved in the case. The source says that a message about a secret conspiracy against the head of state was received by the duty department of the Ministry of Internal Affairs from a specialist in the Office of the President of the Russian Federation.”

“At 6:20 in the morning, a certain 37-year-old Mikhail Yurchenko called their reception, who introduced himself as an entrepreneur in the construction industry and gave his full details (they, by the way, were confirmed). Unlike numerous demanders and complainants, the man reported with alarm about a strange story that recently happened to him in the city of Chekhov.”

“Mikhail was relaxing there at the local karaoke club ‘Honey’, met an unknown person, and they began a long heart-to-heart conversation about the war and future life in Russia. At some point, according to Yurchenko, the interlocutor showed him a red service ID and stated that he had a task ‘to remove Vladimir Putin.’ Whatever it means, unfortunately for Mikhail, he did not remember the name of his drinking companion, nor did he see his details on his ID. However, what he heard haunted him, and after a couple of days of worry, he decided to report the conspirator to the right place. Now, on his tip, the operatives went to study the situation in the Honey Cafe, where, by the way, you can often meet employees of various departments,” said the Telegram post.

Thursday’s edition of Punchbowl News points out the major vulnerability to spandex-wearing grapple-freak Congressman Jim Jordan’s bid for the Speakership: His alleged Paterno-ing of the Ohio State University sex scandal in which wrestlers on his team were molested by that sick fuck doctor while Jordan was their assistant coach. Multiple former wrestlers on the team have alleged they told Jordan about it and he did nothing, so we can probably look forward to rival Steve Scalise’s operation to be firing up leaks about the accusations should the race get close.

Disgraced former President Trump’s minions are working the phones to oppose House Majority Whip Tom Emmer’s bid for a promotion to Majority Leader due to his thoughtcrimes of not voting to object to Joe Biden’s victory in the 2020 election and telling Republican candidates to distance themselves from the MAGA bullshit as NRCC chair in the 2022 midterms, Time Magazine reports.

“You can’t have the majority leader of the Republican Party being very anti-Trump and against his agenda,” a Trump acolyte told Time. “That’s just not going to work. There’s no trust there.”