A Montgomery County, Kentucky sheriff’s deputy has been suspended after failing to complete a field sobriety test at the scene of a Saturday night crash in which a patrol vehicle was destroyed, the driver was clearly intoxicated and stank of vodka, the Lexington Herald-Leader reports.

What we obnoxiously left out of the headline and lede was that the deputy, 35 year-old Bryan Beane, was the drunk driver who had crashed his department Dodge Durango into a telephone pole in neighboring Menifee County and a cop from another department was the one who administered the field sobriety tests. Beane was hospitalized and after a warrant was obtained for a blood test it was determined that he was over the legal limit… in case the three-quarters empty bottle of Tito’s found in the vehicle hadn’t made that obvious. Beane was charged with DUI and is pretty fucked.

EXCLUSIVE:

I have examined New @FEC reports which confirm that @laurenboebert used campaign funds to buy alcohol at her Democrat boyfriend’s bar on 7/31/2023, OVER A MONTH BEFORE her disaster date to the theatre on 9/10/23 where Boebert and her Democrat Boyfriend Quinn… pic.twitter.com/DCLkF0E4Rq

— Laura Loomer (@LauraLoomer) October 17, 2023

Yeah, this isn’t anything new or “exclusive.” We put it in as a side note to a quick article on Monday about Biden canceling his trip to Boebert’s district, sourced from Politico who caught the booze purchases in the 36 year-old grandma’s quarterly campaign finance filings and published it on Sunday. But that’s not a deal-breaker here considering Laura Loomer now for whatever reason has declared the jerkoff Congresswoman a mortal enemy. There’s a GIF of popular Japanese character actor Ken Watanabe that would be appropriate to express our feelings on the matter here.

In related news, Meidas Touch reports that fat former President Trump shared one of Loomer’s stupid Substack posts containing New York Attorney General Letitia James’s home address, which just might come up in court when the orange slob arrives to sit at the defense table shortly.

“Crooked Joe Biden told the DOJ to Indict TRUMP hoping that it would help him in his campaign against me and the Republicans. In other words, he indicted his Political Opponent. They are now called the Biden Indictments, and nothing like this has ever happened in the USA before!” writes disgraced former President Trump in a Tuesday morning Truth Social rant, coloring oh so carefully inside the lines set forth in the gag order by DC federal Judge Tanya Chutkan on Monday.

Next Donald wrote “I will be attending the trial in Manhattan this morning. I greatly appreciate all of the legal professors and scholars that are saying I DID NOTHING WRONG. I can’t have a JURY and am being viciously tried under a Statute that has never been used before. The Radical Left Democrat Judge, WHO IS HIGHLY POLITICAL, serves as Judge, Jury, and everything else. America cannot let this happen. Our legal system is corrupt and broken! Everything emanates from Washington, ‘GET TRUMP,'” an illustrative contrast in which he rips on a judge who did not specifically restrict Trump from posting this kind of bullshit calling him a “Radical Left Democrat.”

Disgraced former President Trump’s “Save America PAC” has spent nearly $37 million on legal fees since January 2022, a staggering sum accounting for more than half the political action committee’s total expenditures during the period, according to an Associated Press review of FEC filings.

More than $20 million of that amount was spent in the first half of 2023 alone, money that would otherwise have gone to campaign advertising and what not to help him return to the White House.

Reports of the inevitability of spandex-wearing grapple-freak Jim Jordan’s ascension to Speaker of the House may have been premature, according to Tuesday’s edition of Punchbowl News which says sources have estimated that the alleged Joe Paterno of the late 1980s-early 1990s Ohio State University wrestling program is 20 votes short of the 217 threshold needed to obtain the gavel.

This is in contrast to other reporting on Monday which had a distinct character of “All of your base are belong to Jordan” and that it was only a matter of time before all resistance within the extremely thin GOP majority would be crushed ahead of the planned Tuesday vote. This doesn’t mean he definitely will lose so much as it’s not nearly a done deal as some sources tried to make it sound.

Police in Belgium on Monday tracked down and canceled the 45 year-old Islamic terrorist suspect who hours earlier had shot dead two Swedish men and injured and third person whilst screaming “Allahu Akbar!” near the stadium where the Euro 2024 tournament was being held, the BBC reports.

The gunman, Abdesalem Lassoued, was an illegal Tunisian immigrant who had posted a video online saying he had killed people in the name of God after the Monday shooting incident.

Colorado Republican Ken Buck says that wannabe Speaker Jacketless Jim Jordan is taking steps in Buck’s opinion to gain the Speakership, and as Buck describes it, those steps are incredibly pathetic.  One is to acknowledge that January 6th was a really bad thing, which Jordan did, but the second was harder:  to state that Joe Biden won the 2020 election fairly.  Jordan still can’t admit it, according to Buck:  “The best answer I’ve got so far is, I just don’t know.”

Incumbent Republicans fighting to keep their seats in battleground House districts outraised incumbent Democrats in similar situations, federal filings for the 2024 election cycle show, Roll Call reports.  In 33 toss-up or “leans” races, incumbent Republicans raised an average of $580,000 to the average of $529,000 raised by 31 battleground Democrats.  Republicans also have more “cash on hand” versus Dems:  $1.5 million for Republicans to Democrats’ average $1 million.

The trend wasn’t true in each race.  One embattled Colorado Republican, theater seat filler Lauren Boebert, raised just $854,000 versus her expected Democratic opponent Adam Frisch’s haul of $3.4 million.  Frisch has $4.3 million in cash versus just $1.4 million for the failed Rifle restauranteur.

On the Senate side:  Michigan Democratic Congresswoman Elissa Slotkin raised nearly $3 million in the Senate race to replace the retiring Debbie Stabenow; her opponent, actor Hill Harper, raised $1 million, with nearly half coming from personal donations and loans.  In Texas, Ted Cruz (R-Quintana Roo) suckered $3.1 million from donors; his expected Democratic challenger, Colin Allred, raised $4.7 million.  Allred also has a $2 million cash advantage over the Cuban-Canadian Cancun junketer.

Sean Hannity still thinks he runs the Republican Party.  The Trump advisor shows his frustration about the leaderless, rudderless House Republican Caucus being unable to get enough members to elect a leader.  Hannity’s message:  run over the weak, force your will on them.  Having spoken to “a few of them this weekend,” Hannity thinks he’s in a great position to demand the minority of Republicans simply impose their will on the rest of the Party.  Oh, and on the Democrats, too.  … ’cause there’s nothing authoritarian about that, right?

After hours of discussions with Israel’s leadership, Secretary of State Anthony Blinken announced Monday night (Washington, DC time) that President Joe Biden will travel to Israel on Wednesday, saying the United States will work with Israel and other allies to create a humanitarian zone for refugees from Gaza, noting that getting aid to the civilians in Gaza is a priority.  Blinken repeatedly stated the United States’ and the Biden Administration’s support for Israel following the sudden attack by Hamas.

Jim Jordan’s quest for the House Speakership seems to be getting closer to the goal of 217 Republicans taking him over the needed threshold.  Various reports have put him within single-digits of the goal.  And a kinda throw-away tweet from Punchbowl News’ John Bresnaham might hold a clue about Jordan’s strategy:

.@RepMcCaul is a yes on Jordan. He said Jordan told him “he could see” Ukraine aid coupled with Israel & border security funding

— John Bresnahan (@bresreports) October 16, 2023

Michael McCaul, a Republican from Texas, is a strong supporter of aiding Ukraine in its fight against Russia’s invasion.  The problem is, others who also support Jordan–like noted anti-Semite Marjorie Taylor Greene–are staunchly against funding Ukraine’s defense.  At this point, it’s not a matter of who Jordan betrays, but when.  If Jordan somehow becomes Speaker and allows a bill to fund Ukraine to come to the floor–a bill that will divide the GOP but will have overwhelming Democratic support–Jordan could find himself the subject of another palace coup.

Richard Engel of NBC News, appearing on MSNBC, reports that a Hamas spokesman appeared in a video saying Hamas will release all 200+ Israeli and foreign hostages will be released when “field conditions are right.”  The video has not yet been authenticated by Israeli or US officials, but Engel reports Hamas officials he’s spoken to have verified the offer.

The offer may be an effort to fend off a pending invasion of Gaza by the Israeli Defense Forces, which have conducted scout and reconnaissance missions in the area.  Hamas may also be attempting to placate the Biden Administration, which has positioned to US aircraft carrier attack groups in the eastern Mediterranean.

Update 8:04 p.m. ET:  The offer from Hamas covers only non-Israeli hostages.

Later the fat bastard also said “What they don’t understand is that I am willing to go to jail if that’s what it takes for our country to win and become a democracy again.” Prove it.

Federal prosecutors on Monday filed a notices of appeal of the sentence of Proud Boys leaders Enrique Tarrio, Ethan Nordean, Zach Rehl, Joe Biggs, and Dominic Pezzola, arguing that the five pro-Trump fascist gangbangers, four of whom were convicted of seditious conspiracy, did not get the prison time they deserved for their crimes against democracy by planning the Capitol riot.

Right wing propaganda website and now sort of lifestyle brand The Daily Wire on Monday launched “Bentkey,” a new subscription streaming service meant to provide a “non-woke” alternative to Disney. Per Axios, the service costs $99 a year and carries “over 150 episodes across 18 different shows, four of which are original. The rest of the content is licensed,” which we guess means there was no creative input from dickheads like Ben Shapiro, Matt Walsh, or Candace Owens.

The Daily Wire still plans to invest $100 million into creating this whole entertainment ecosystem which, the last we checked in, centered on some weird superhero B-movie starring Cary Elwes.

We just joined Truth Social, mostly because we thought it would be very funny.

Follow us there for truths and retruths or whatever they call them: https://t.co/tKNFKcOsUE pic.twitter.com/Jofjex8kp9

— Biden-Harris HQ (@BidenHQ) October 16, 2023

“Today’s decision is an absolute abomination and another partisan knife stuck in the heart of our Democracy by Crooked Joe Biden, who was granted the right to muzzle his political opponent, the leading candidate for the Presidency in 2024, and the most popular political leader in America, President Donald J Trump. President Trump will continue to fight for our Constitution, the American people’s right to support him, and to keep our country free of the chains of weaponized and targeted law enforcement,” says a press release attributed only to a “Trump Spokesperson.”

Note that the statement only mentions Biden (as if he was the one sitting in the goddamned courtroom and issued the order), and not Jack Smith or Judge Tanya Chutkan, even obliquely.

Trump himself responded with the typical all-caps screaming on Truth Social, writing “A TERRIBLE THING HAPPENED TO DEMOCRACY TODAY – GAG ORDER!” and “WILL APPEAL THE GAG ORDER RULING. WITCH HUNT!” but again without any direct mentions of Smith or Chutkan.

Tim Scott’s super PAC which has a super stupid name of “Trust in the Mission” is super out of money before their candidate has even had a chance to reveal his super secret girlfriend’s identity and is canceling their TV ad buys in a sign that the end is coming super soon, Politico reports.

“We are doing what would be obvious in the business world but will mystify politicos – we aren’t going to waste our money when the electorate isn’t focused or ready for a Trump alternative,” wrote super dipshit “Trust in the Mission” co-chair Rob Collins in a memo to donors. “Money spent on mass media isn’t going to change minds until we get a lot closer to voting.” Super sad!

DC Circuit Judge Tanya Chutkan on Monday slapped disgraced former President Trump with a gag order prohibiting Donald from issuing any statements about herself, her staff, special counsel Jack Smith, and any potential witnesses in the post-2020 election coup attempt case against him, saying that running for president again does not allow him to conduct a “public smear campaign.”

Trump is free to rip on DC and the Biden Administration (and Mike Pence because he’s supposedly running a presidential primary campaign against Trump), but that’s going to be cold comfort to him and his deranged fanboys who are going to absolutely lose their shit over this order. Chutkan did not mention any possible sanctions on Trump if he violates the order before ending the hearing.

The dominoes are falling for spandex-wearing grapple-freak Congressman Jim Jordan’s speakership bid and he tells CNN’s Manu Raju that he’s taking it to the floor at noon on Tuesday.

Gym had previously told Raju he wanted to make sure he had 217 locked down first, but he’s doing it anyway now. “I do think that’s, that’s ideal, but… I don’t know if there’s any way to ever get that in the room. I would love that. But I think the only way to do this the way the Founders intended.”