Responding to disgraced former President Trump’s Wednesday night meltdown in which he called Hezbollah “very smart” and ripped Israeli dictator Benjamin Netanyahu and Defense Minister Yoav Gallant, Netanyahu Regime Communications Minister Shlomo Karhi on Thursday told Channel 13 that it’s “shameful that a man like that, a former US president, abets propaganda and disseminates things that wound the spirit of Israel’s fighters and its citizens,” the the Times of Israel reports.

“We don’t have to bother with him and the nonsense he spouts,” Karhi said. When asked if Trump’s demented ranting made it clear that he can’t be relied on in the future, Karhi replied “Obviously.”

Kind of a far cry from when Karhi tweeted “Thank you President Trump for acknowledging Israel’s Prime Minister’s tremendous achievements. The Israeli public salutes you 🇮🇱🇺🇸” back in July of 2019.

Deputy Treasury Secretary Wally Adeyemo on Thursday morning told a group of House Dems the $6 billion in funds – conditionally unfrozen as ransom last month for five American prisoners – that still remain under his department’s control in a Qatari bank account are not “going anywhere anytime soon,” Punchbowl’s Andrew Desiderio reports while adding it “amid bipartisan backlash after Hamas attacks on Israel.” Desiderio did not elaborate further but it could mean the Treasury is going to announce a refreeze of the cash – available only for purchases of food and medical supplies from approved third parties, which haven’t actually happened yet – the MAGA circlejerkers have been insisting is “fungible” in that it freed up other funds for Tehran to support Hamas and Hezbollah.

UPDATE 10/12/2023 11:57 AM EDT: The Washington Post reports that the US and Qatar have agreed to block Iran from access to the $6 billion in cash which, again, remains untouched.

“In Judaism there is an obligation of ‘Hakarat Hatov’ – saying thank you to those who perform good deeds. While I have been, and remain, deeply critical of the Biden Administration, the moral, tactical, diplomatic and military support that it has provided Israel over the past few days has been exceptional. As one living in Jerusalem with children who are Israeli citizens, I am deeply grateful. I pray that American support continues in the difficult days ahead,” tweeted former Trump Administration Ambassador to Israel David M Friedman on Thursday morning. We would’ve embedded on the page it but for some stupid reason it was cut off with ellipses due to its length.

This guy served the full four years of Trump’s failed presidency as his main envoy to Israel and just two days ago pushed the MAGA company line that Biden has been “empowering Iran,” and that they’ve “become a much richer country under the Biden administration’s watch. And that money has been used to help finance Hamas.” Just a hunch but Friedman probably shouldn’t count on getting his old job back if the Orange Ayatollah returns to power, even with that “deeply critical” caveat.

The RNC is planning to recruit and train thousands upon thousands of “poll watchers” to ask lots of annoying questions, make shit up about “suspicious” voters, file false reports to police, and all sorts of other stupid shit at polling places in battleground states on election day 2024, Axios reports.

Election losing expert RNC Chair Ronna Not-Romney McDaniel said the effort to “mobilize” her party’s 15 planned state “election integrity directors” is necessary to “hold Democrats accountable for bad laws that make voting less secure” whatever that’s supposed to mean. Sounds like she wants there to be disruptions and violence at voting sites so they can cry “irregularities” afterward.

Politico’s Jonathan Lemire on Thursday told MSNBC’s Morning Joe that sources say the reason fat former President Trump had ripped former close ally Israeli dictator Benjamin Netanyahu at a MAGA rally on Wednesday was that “Bibi” had “had praised President Biden, of course, Trump’s likely rival in 2024. And Trump simply couldn’t stand for that.” So typical jealousy from the fat bastard.

I respectfully disagree.

I think the vote would likely have been the same public or private – though I surely prefer public.

My basis for this belief is that Republican voters never wanted McCarthy and (in public) I watched most all of them vote for Kevin 15 times in January.…

— Matt Gaetz (@mattgaetz) October 12, 2023

Day 8 of the Reign of Terror of Speaker pro tempore Patrick McHenry continues!  Okay, it’s not so much a “Reign of Terror” as it is a “Reign of Administrative Mediocrity” for McHenry, who successfully dismissed the House Wednesday afternoon when it became clear Republicans had not settled on a replace to ousted Paul Ryan photonegative Kevin McCarthy.

Scalice won the majority of the Republican ballots with 113 votes to 99 for Jim Jordan–the 212 votes equals the number of Democratic seats in the House–and according to the Washington Post, continues to work to get the 217 votes needed to be named Speaker.  At least seven nihilists within the Republican conference–people like Marge, Santos, Boebert, Roy and Mace–have already said they will not support Scalise.  Another half-dozen reportedly remain undecided.

At this point, no vote is planned for the House floor on Thursday, with Republican House leadership cognizant of the lingering embarrassment caused by the fifteen rounds of voting it took to install McCarthy for nine months.  Scalise will work behind the scenes to sell his soul instead of having it done in front of CSPAN cameras.

Mike Lindell wasn’t kidding:  he really must be broke.  According to the Daily Beast, Lindell’s MyPillow cut all advertising for a month due to financial distress at the company, a blackout that will end next week.  Lindell’s facing increasing financial burdens, from legal fees defending himself in lawsuits from Dominion Voting Systems, SmartMatic, some of those companies’ employees, and perhaps even his own lawyers, to whom he reportedly owes “millions” and who asked to withdraw from the case last week.   And all this comes on top of a judge ruling he owes $5 million to a software engineer who debunked one of his key election conspiracy theories.

Federal officials will announce charges against “dozens” of Broward County (Florida) Sheriff’s Office deputies and detention officers in one of the largest investigations into Paycheck Protection Program fraud, the Miami Herald reports.

The officers are accused of using corporations they owned to claim lost income, which was recouped through PPP, which was set up to compensate people for wages lost due to the pandemic.  The online watchdog site Florida Bulldog reports that as many as  70 officers could be named when indictments are announced Thursday.

In a fun bit of candor, the Miami Herald notes that the region has gained an unwelcome bit of renown:  “South Florida, long known as the nation’s capital of fraud schemes, has incurred more than 140 PPP criminal cases over the past three years, according to the U.S. Attorney’s Office.”  If the expected maximum number of cases is brought tomorrow, that total will jump by 50%.

You probably don’t remember Wisconsin Republican Congressman Derrick Van Orden, a man so unmemorable that the only thing notable he’s done in his first term in the House is dispensing a profanity-laced tirade at Congressional pages who were taking a break in the Capitol Rotunda, something done prior to a shitload of empty liquor bottles were photographed in his office.  Van Orden, of course, denied alcohol influenced his conduct, but in a bipartisan move, the House denounced his actions.

Well, he’s at it again, but this time, he spewed an expletive-laced diatribe at Administration officials who were giving members of Congress a briefing on the Hamas attack on Israel, Politico reports.  Van Orden repeatedly berated the presenters in what fellow members described as “offensive and inappropriate.”  After Minnesota Democrat Dean Phillips shouted “shame on you” as he continued his rant, Van Orden used the word “fuck” in his reply; it’s unclear if he yelled “fuck you” or “fuck off.”

Three teenagers are in custody after police learned of their plot to shoot up their North Florida high school, which included curated target lists of students they wanted to kill and another to which they just “wanted to physically harm,” CNN reports.

Police said they collected text messages sent between the teens discussing targets and plans.  One said that he would use an AR-15 assault rifle; it’s unclear if the students actually had access to the weapons they claimed.  The teens, ages 14 and 15, attended Creekside High School in the St. John’s County School District.  Police were tipped off to the plan by another student who the three warned, saying they were getting revenge for bullying.

“A charitable explanation of your correspondence is that you are ignorant of the United States and Georgia Constitutions and codes. A more troubling explanation is that you are abusing your authority as Chairman of the Committee on the Judiciary to attempt to obstruct and interfere with a Georgia criminal prosecution. See OCGA § 16-10-24. Indeed, you confessed to this motivation on Mark Levin’s September 10, 2023, show: when discussing one of my office’s active prosecutions, you boasted, ‘We’re trying to get all the answers, but we’re trying to stop this stuff as well‘ (emphasis added). While you may enjoy immunity under the United States Constitution’s Speech or Debate Clause, that does not make your behavior any less offensive to the rule of law.”

“As the person chosen by the citizens of Fulton County to be their District Attorney, I serve them, and my team and I are exceptionally busy. We have already written a letter – which I have attached again for your reference – explaining why the legal positions you advance are meritless. Nothing you’ve said in your latest letter changes that fact. As I have explained, your requests implicate significant, well recognized confidentiality interests related to an ongoing criminal matter, as well as serious constitutional concerns regarding federalism and separation of powers,” writes Fulton County, Georgia District Attorney Fani Willis to Jim Jordan, once again telling him to fuck off.

Was tough picking between this clip and the one when Mace said she “cannot in good conscience, vote for someone who attended a white supremacist conference and compared himself to David Duke,” meaning she’s cool with the Joe Paterno of Ohio State but not the KKK guy for Speaker.

“Pursuant to Fed R Crim P 17(c), President Donald J Trump respectfully requests leave to issue the attached subpoenas duces tecum (the ‘Requested Subpoenas’) for the pretrial production of records, addressed to the following: (1) the Archivist of the United States at the National Archives and Records Administration (NARA), (2) the Clerk of the House of Representatives, (3) the current Committee on House Administration, which is the successor entity to the January 6 Select Committee; (4) Richard Sauber, the Special Counsel to the President ; (5) Johnathan Meyer, the General Counsel of the Department of Homeland Security; (6) Representative Barry Loudermilk, US House of Representatives; and (7) Representative Bennie Thompson, US House of Representatives. The House Committee on Administration has identified these records as missing from the archived records of the January 6 Select Committee. By these subpoenas, President Trump seeks to retrieve certain missing records and uncover information about their disposition,” write fat former President Trump’s lawyers in a motion submitted to DC Judge Tanya Chutkan’s court.

Former Mueller Investigation prosecutor Andrew Weissman says this is complete bullshit: “Nothing about this complies with Rule 17; Rule 17 does not permit pretrial production of generalized documents vs calling for production of specific, known, docs needed for and admissible at a trial.”

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky’s office on Wednesday sent a request to the Israeli Foreign Ministry asking to coordinate a visit for Zelensky to show solidarity between the two nations in the aftermath of the savage Hamas terrorist attack last weekend, Axios reports.

“I urge all leaders to visit Israel and show their support for the people. I’m not talking about any institutions, but about support for the people who suffered from terrorist attacks and are dying today,” said Zelensky to reporters in Brussels following a meeting with NATO chief Jens Stoltenberg.

“Amidst this chaotic mix, more wrenches are being thrown, further complicating matters. It’s disheartening to witness my colleagues prioritize their campaigns over the essential work that needs to be done. However, we must remain steadfast in our commitment to upholding due process and respecting the Constitution. It is the cornerstone of our democracy and the guiding light that ensures justice and fairness for all. An expulsion of myself as a member of Congress before being found guilty from a criminal investigation will set a dangerous precedent.”

“This will do nothing other than erase the voices of the electorate. Let us not succumb to the distractions and let the political games take precedence over the people’s welfare. We must stay focused on the task at hand, working diligently to address the pressing issues that affect the lives of our constituents. Stay strong my fellow Americans, and trust that the process will unfold as it should. Together, we can overcome these challenges and forge a better future for all Americans,” says scumbag Congressman George Santos in a statement about recent momentum to expel him.

Note the unsubtle “chaotic mix,” likely aimed at Scalise to ask for continued protection.

This was supposed to be another one of those satire articles written in a right-wing voice but not really feeling it right now. It’d be too flippant with the miseries being inflicted upon innocent people in both Israel and Gaza starting with the horrific Hamas terrorist attack on Saturday.

But that doesn’t mean we can’t shitpost for just a little bit here and ask the question posed in the headline here: Where’s the “King of Israel” now? How come he isn’t heading to the country to provide comfort to the people he says would elect him Prime Minister “easily” if he wanted to run there? If this never would’ve started if he were still president then surely he could do something to stop it now on his own, right? So why doesn’t he just take “Trump Force One” there?

This isn’t as deeply couched in bad faith as it would first seem. Yeah it’s not “good faith” either, though it should follow that if Trump’s fanboys screamed at Biden for not visiting the East Palestine, Ohio train wreck like Trump did, and Detroit during the auto workers’ strike – Trump announced first but Biden visited strikers a day before Donald’s non-union rally – then lib trolls should nag the MAGA assholes about Trump visiting Israel. If he’s serious about winning American Jews’ votes and so they can “get their act together” then Trump should 100 percent go there right now. Show the leadership Biden supposedly isn’t. Make a fiery speech to a gathering of right wing politicians. Rally the IDF’s troops. Whatever. It’s a long flight, he can figure out what to do on the way. Israel needs their King.

House Majority Leader Steve “David Duke without the Baggage” Scalise on Wednesday defeated Trump-endorsed wrestling freak Jim “Reacharound” Jordan in a Republican conference-wide secret ballot election to determine the party’s nominee for Speaker of the House, Newsmax reports.

Scalise won 113 to 99, according to Politico’s Olivia Beavers. What this means for Scalise actually obtaining the gavel is not clear yet, but it doesn’t sound great for him if the total votes were still shy of the 217 required to win. There may still be holdouts when the vote goes to the full floor.

NASA press release: “Initial studies of the 4.5-billion-year-old asteroid Bennu sample collected in space and brought to Earth by NASA show evidence of high-carbon content and water, which together could indicate the building blocks of life on Earth may be found in the rock. NASA made the news Wednesday from its Johnson Space Center in Houston where leadership and scientists showed off the asteroid material for the first time since it landed in September.”

“This finding was part of a preliminary assessment of NASA’s OSIRIS-REx (Origins, Spectral Interpretation, Resource Identification and Security – Regolith Explorer) science team. Although more work is needed to understand the nature of the carbon compounds found, the initial discovery bodes well for future analyses of the asteroid sample. The secrets held within the rocks and dust from the asteroid will be studied for decades to come, offering insights into how our solar system was formed, how the precursor materials to life may have been seeded on Earth, and what precautions need to be taken to avoid asteroid collisions with our home planet.”

Visiting the Capitol amid his former House colleagues’ speakership shitshow on Tuesday, disgraced ex-White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows told CBS’s Nikole Killion “I don’t comment on any of the J6 stuff,” in response to a question on whether he would take a plea deal in the Fulton County, Georgia RICO case against the Trump Regime for their post-2020 election coup attempt in the state.

Going by Killion’s video, it seems that the exchange was brief and Meadows was rushing to get away from reporters, making it possible he simply didn’t fully contemplate the question before responding. Had he done so maybe he would have realized that a “no comment”-type answer which, though obviously the smart move legally, is definitely not what Trump fans want to be hearing, that one of their heroes left the door open to testifying against the Orange God Emperor.