“It’s all happening, even worse than anyone projected. President Vladimir Putin of Russia is using Crooked Joe Biden’s illegal Banana Republic style treatment of his Political Opponent, who is beating him badly in the Polls, to condemn America and all of the good things it once stood for. The whole World is watching as the USA is being torn apart by dreams of Election Interference!” wrote fat former President Trump in an early Wednesday Truth Social post referencing his boss in the collusion “hoax” publicly badmouthing the American justice system’s “persecution” of Donald.

Later that morning Trump freaked out over a little-noticed New York Times column questioning his mental state by pointing out a strange ramble from last month’s Tucker interview. “We lost 35,000 people to the mosquito. Malaria. We lost 35,000 people. We lost 35,000 people because of the mosquito. Vicious. They had to build under nets. It was one of the true great wonders of the world. One of the nine wonders… No, no, it was one of the seven. You could make nine wonders,” op-ed guy Frank Bruni transcribed Trump as saying, raising the obvious point that Donald’s defenders should maybe stop hyping Biden’s perceived senescence when their guy isn’t all there either.

“Such dishonesty at The Failing New York Times. Recently I did an interview with Tucker Carlson [blah blah blah] During the interview I talked about the Panama Canal, & how we so stupidly sold it back to Panama for one dollar, very sarcastically mimicking Crooked Joe Biden & how truly lost he is…” wrote Trump, then continuing with “You see, Crooked Joe had just called “something” the Ninth Wonder of the World, & it made headlines because it had always been the Seventh. I made it clear in the interview that by my jokingly imitating Biden’s recent gaffe, I was just trying to show how truly dumb & out of ‘it’ this guy really is. The Times knowingly tried to make my spoof on him into my making the same mistake as Biden, no sarcasm, no nothing.” Very Streisand effect-y stuff.

Well this ought to be entertaining given the questions they’re going to get following up on reporting that titular Speaker Kevin McCarthy and malevolent razorback conference chair Elise Stefanik been coordinating with disgraced former President Trump on Biden’s impeachment inquiry… as if it was supposed to be some kind of a major bombshell given Trump’s Truth Social posts on it.

House Oversight dipshit James Comer on Wednesday struggled to allay the concerns of some Newsmax assclown, not really addressing the repeated question of why his committee doesn’t just go ahead and subpoena Hunter Biden already other than to say Hunter would just fight it in court.

It’s hard to credit that as an actual reason and maybe even a little harder to imagine what the actual reason is. Of course the immediate take is “They’re afraid that having Hunter come testify and answer questions to risk perjury would debunk their narrative,” but it has to be something more layered and complex of an excuse than that, doesn’t it? James Comer isn’t that fucking utterly basic that the best dissembling he can do is this line of bullshit, right? Somebody speak up for him here.

Wednesday morning’s Beltway media tip sheets on titular Speaker McCarthy’s big announcement all center on confident assurances of the inevitability of Joe Biden getting impeached, seeming as though they were written at least in part by the House GOP’s marketing department. Consider:

Politico Playbook with “Is there any way this doesn’t end in Biden’s impeachment? Don’t count on it. McCarthy is privately trying to appease his unhappy centrist members by telling them that opening an inquiry is just that – an inquiry – and that doesn’t mean they’ll have to vote to actually impeach Biden someday… Any other scenario ignores the reality of 21st-century impeachment politics. Opening an inquiry then failing to follow through would be a major political boon to Biden – essentially, a tacit admission by the GOP that he’s innocent. And we wouldn’t be surprised if McCarthy uses that argument to squeeze moderates who currently see no evidence of high crimes and misdemeanors to back impeachment later on.”

Punchbowl News with “The reality for the 58-year-old, nine-term McCarthy is that once he opens an impeachment inquiry, it’s almost guaranteed that House Republicans will impeach Biden. Remember, a sizable number of Republicans were ready to impeach before the inquiry even began. And once the House has begun the process, not impeaching Biden will look like a validation of the president to many rank-and-file lawmakers. That may be too much for McCarthy to control.”

Thanks to Denver’s NBC 9News, we have the video of Marjorie Taylor Greene’s “little bitch” Lauren Boebert (LB²) getting ejected from Denver’s Buell Theatre during a Sunday performance of the musical “Beetlejuice” for being loud and obnoxious.  The video shows ushers taking Boebert and her date out of the theater and escorting them through the building, including a moment at 2:10 when the Congresswoman turns to one of the ushers, swinging her hand, in what most definitely is her “Do you know who I am?” moment.

Here are the facts:
1. Speaker Pelosi can't decide on impeachment unilaterally. It requires a full vote of the House of Representatives.
2. The House has voted three times on articles of impeachment. Each vote failed.
3. For Dems, this is all about politics. Not about facts.

— Kevin McCarthy (@SpeakerMcCarthy) September 24, 2019

On the day when he announced he had unilaterally authorized an impeachment inquiry because he did not have enough votes to pass a floor vote, Speaker pro tem Kevin McCarthy failed to confirm his position on the power of the Speaker to do so.  But that’s when you get when unlike her little bitch Lauren Boebert (LB²), your more like Marjorie Taylor Greene‘s coffee boy.

“Bottom line here, Sean, is that you have a county prosecutor bringing in three United States Senators who have a Constitutional obligation to vote on an election and if we can’t pick up the phone and talk to people and challenge them, the system is truly off the rails, and that’s exactly what I did,” South Carolina Republican Senator and sweet tea connoisseur Lindsey Graham claims, without actually mentioning that the Congress’s only the Constitutional duty relating to the Electoral College is as a witness to the count of the electors’ votes, not challenge the results of the elections in the individual states that went to the opposition Party.

The new coronavirus vaccine recently approved by the National Institutes of Health and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is recommended for patients as young as six months old, Mandy Cohen, the director of the CDC, announced Tuesday.

According to the Washington Post, the updated vaccine formula will be available for patients as early as Thursday.  The updated jab is formulated to reactivate previous antibodies as well as prep for the major strains of the coronavirus for the upcoming fall and winter seasons.  With RSV and the influenza virus expected to hit at the same time as an anticipated coronavirus peak as school starts, public health officials suggest all eligible patients get a booster of the new formula.

“Look, I think the committee should be very wary about making any hasty decisions,” multinominal Republican New York Congressman George Santos cautioned in a CNN that began with Santos accusing CNN anchor Erin Burnett of lying and not being prepared for correctly reporting he pled out on a Brazilian fraud charge.  “That’s been my entire, ah, ah, case in point, ah, with everything going on.  The DOJ has its case.  I think it would be very irresponsible for the committee to have one conclusion and then something else play out in court, so, my answer to your question, no.”  Mr. Devolder was asked if he would resign if the Ethics Committee found him culpable for his alleged criminal activity.  Of course, he won’t, because unethical behavior is a cornerstone of today’s GOP.  But give the guy a break:  not only is he commemorating one of several days his mother died, but he’s also facing investigations from local, state and federal authorities.

It's true, I did thoroughly enjoy the AMAZING Beetlejuice at the Buell Theatre and I plead guilty to laughing and singing too loud! 🤭

Everyone should go see it if you get the chance this week and please let me know how it ends! 😅https://t.co/8JHypcCKsP

— Lauren Boebert (@laurenboebert) September 12, 2023

Yeah she didn’t link the article she’s alluding to. For that, check out the Denver Post’s report on the incident which says Boebert was “accused by venue officials of vaping, singing, recording and ‘causing a disturbance'” during a Sunday performance of the Tim Burton classic’s stage adaptation.

Boebert and her pals were warned by Denver Arts and Venues officials to sit down and shut up during the intermission after no fewer than three complaints about their behavior, according to an “incident report” obtained by the Post. “They told me they would not leave. I told them that they need to leave the theater and if they do not, they will be trespassing. The patrons said they would not leave. I told them I would (be) going to get Denver Police. They said go get them,” the report quotes an usher as saying. Then he did and the dipshit Congresswoman was removed.

Turns out that disgraced former President Trump’s successful efforts to use government resources ratfuck his first impeachment are going to come back and bite Kevin McCarthy and his gang of idiots in the ass, as Politico have resurfaced a Bill Barr Justice Department Office of Legal Counsel opinion that says, specifically “We conclude that the House must expressly authorize a committee to conduct an impeachment investigation and to use compulsory process in that investigation before the committee may compel the production of documents or testimony” and “The House had not authorized such an investigation in connection with the impeachment-related subpoenas issued before October 31, 2019, and the subpoenas therefore had no compulsory effect.”

The fat bastard ignored the subpoenas anyway after Pelosi formalized the inquiry, fought the production of evidence, and eventually the “jury” nullified the verdict in the Senate (It didn’t matter the second time he got impeached because it happened so fast and there was no inquiry). But forgetting to rescind this opinion after that is going to end up costing the Trump 2024 campaign.

The FBI agent in charge of the Bureau’s investigation into Hunter Biden told the House Judiciary Committee that he never heard anything close to what two IRS agents claimed in testimony touted by committee Republicans regarding US Attorney David Weiss saying he couldn’t bring charges against the President’s son, the Washington Post reports based on a transcript of the agent’s testimony it obtained.

The previously undisclosed testimony directly contradicts one of the key charges Republicans have claimed for their contrived impeachment:  that political pressure prevented Weiss from filing more serious charges against Biden.  On the day when Speaker pro tem Kevin McCarthy said House Committees would start impeachment investigations into Joe Biden–although there was no vote taken in the House and no evidence of a crime presented to the public–the revelation that the committee received additional exculpatory evidence against the GOP claim paints the impeachment charade as the political theatre it is.

The fallout from Fox’s $787.5 million settlement with Dominion Voting Systems in its defamation suit continues:  the administrators of New York City’s five municipal pension funds have filed a civil lawsuit against Fox Corporation claiming that its cable propaganda unit breached its duty to protect investor value by broadcasting lies about the 2020 election which ended up costing the company nearly $1 billion, the New York Times reports.  A similar fund for the State of Oregon has joined the New York City funds’ suit.

The funds–for municipal workers, teachers, school employees, fire fighters and police–have more than $250 billion in assets, including $28 million in 857,000 shares of Fox Corp.  The suit also cites numerous other lawsuits settled or lost under the current management, including numerous sexual harassment suits such as the one filed by one-time Tucker Carlson producer Abby Grossberg, who received $12 million after she sued on gender bias and harassment grounds.

“We are shareholders at a company that, unfortunately, has a longstanding practice of allowing conspiracy theories that its executives and its board know are false to be repeated over and over and over again, despite the very clear and present risk of defamation lawsuits eroding shareholder value,” said Brad Lander, New York City’s comptroller, who oversees the pension funds, according to the Times. “And there has been no effort to make governance reforms.”

Fanboys were cautiously optimistic – at best – on Tuesday that feckless runt Kevin McCarthy’s lame Biden “impeachment inquiry” would do any significant political damage to Dark Brandon.

“I’m starting to get worried that, just like the Lerner IRS investigation and Bengazi, the Republicans will either incompetently blunder through this and give the dems an excuse to nominate someone other than Biden (with no stain on the dem brand), or they really don’t care about justice, corruption or 2024 – they only care about raising their own profile and pave the way for a high paying media gig (see Gowdy, Trey)” – The current top comment on PJ Media’s article, hilariously titled “BREAKING: Bye Bye Biden – McCarthy Opens Impeachment Inquiry.” Despite the “bye bye,” the content of the article itself does not otherwise imply any expectation that Biden will be convicted at a Senate trial.

“McCarthy only did this to save his own hide. Look for him to do something to derail any efforts to expose Biden and all who were involved in the crime cartel” – Top comment at the Gateway Pundit.

“So this is ‘extreme politics at its worst.’ As opposed to impeachment over a phone call. Why do Dems act surprised when they must live with the precedents they themselves have set?” – The current top comment on Townhall’s article. Huh. Almost sounds like this guy doesn’t really believe the House GOP has the goods here but is still happy to see some turnabout for the fun of it.

“Well, we know that old mush for brains Biden is in no danger of being removed from office, not enough votes in the Senate, but this should shine a bit more light on the corruption and the media will have a very hard time ignoring it. And the fact that it makes Nancy ‘Botox Queen’ Pelosi mad is just icing on the cake” – Top comment on RedState.com’s article. Same vibe as above.

“Pelosi didn’t require nor take a floor vote to start her impeachment inquiry into Trump” – The current top comment on The Right Scoop’s article. The commenter then links to the Hill’s October 15, 2019 story “Pelosi: No House vote on impeachment inquiry.” Pelosi did in fact just two weeks later put it to a vote on October 31, 2019 and the resolution passed the House 232 to 196.

House Freedom Caucasians chair Soctt Perry got maybe a little bit more upset than he should have at a reporter for asking what the evidence was against Joe Biden supporting their impeachment inquiry that they didn’t even put to a vote on the full House floor. Reminder this is a guy under federal criminal investigation and currently fighting to hide evidence of his involvement in Trump’s post-2020 election coup attempt from Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith’s team.

“The Judicial Conference of the United States on Tuesday approved a change to its broadcast policy that expands the public’s access to civil and bankruptcy proceedings… [blah blah blah] …The change approved Tuesday does not extend to criminal proceedings. Temporary permission to conduct some criminal proceedings by videoconference or teleconference, which had been granted under the 2020 CARES Act, ended on May 10, 2023. Courts have already discontinued use of virtual criminal proceedings, except as otherwise authorized,” says a public access policy update from the federal Judicial Conference, the body that could’ve more or less unilaterally allowed TV cameras in fat former President Trump’s two upcoming federal criminal trials if they wanted to or, at the very least, left it up to Judges Tanya Chutkan and Aileen Cannon to make the call in their courtrooms.

They’ll meet again in March, just as Trump’s first trial in DC is scheduled to get underway. Not knowing anything else about how these decisions are made, we would rate it as not especially likely that they’ll change their minds or, even if they did, that such change could be implemented in a timely fashion where suddenly news crews are allowed in the door during the trial of the century.

A longtime Eastern European leader with ties to major figures in Washington is raising the alarms over what he sees as a culture of “political persecution” metastasizing in the United States.

“As for the prosecution of Trump… for us, what is happening in today’s conditions, in my opinion, is good, because it shows how rotten the American political system is …All that’s happening with Trump is political persecution of a political rival,” said Russian President Vladimir Putin during a speech at a major annual economic conference held in Moscow. “Everything that is happening with Trump is persecution for political reasons, exposing internal problems in the US,” Mr Putin added.

Mr Putin’s comments, first reported by Sputnik, spell potential trouble for Joe Biden as he heads into his reelection campaign given the weight of Mr Putin’s influence in the global community. The five-term Russian president enjoys wide popular support within the country as most of his rivals have been imprisoned for crimes or died inexplicably. Mr Putin enjoyed a healthy working relationship with the Trump Administration, so it’s no surprise he wishes to see the 45th president return to power.

Former President Trump is facing four different criminal cases and 91 felony counts, many of which concern allegations that he harassed a Georgia elections official in a phone call and may have had other involvement in improper attempts overturn the 2020 election. The case in Manhattan concerns allegations he may have had an affair with an adult performer and allegedly paid her to maintain her silence during the 2016 election. In Florida, Trump is accused of improperly handling classified government documents and allegedly showing them to at least one unauthorized person.

Congressman Rapey McForehead on Tuesday had a less than stellar review for his titular boss Kevin McCarthy’s announcement of a not really real impeachment inquiry from earlier, complaining of, among other grievances, that the House GOP hasn’t even subpoenaed Hunter Biden yet while at this point four years ago the Democrats had already gotten Donald Trump Jr in “three times” in 2019 (not sure if that’s actually accurate but we’re not going to throw a flag here). Funny as this talk is, it seems to be just that and Gaetz is not going to actually move to vacate against McCarthy yet.

“Unfortunately, you have given no clear indication as to how your impeachment inquiry will proceed including whether key historical precedents or basic standards of due process will be observed. In addition, the swiftness and recklessness with which you have proceeded has already resulted in committee chairs attempting to limit minority participation in scheduled interviews, calling into question the integrity of such an inquiry. Below are several questions to which I request a public response before the House of Representatives moves forward: Do you intend to hold a vote of the full House authorizing your impeachment inquiry? [A bunch of other stupid questions] By answering ‘no’ to any of the above, you would be acting in direct contradiction to all modern impeachment inquiries of a sitting president. By answering ‘no’ to any of the above, you would be denying the President the bare minimum rights granted to his predecessors. By answering ‘no’ to any of the above, you would create a process completely devoid of any merit or legitimacy” – Then-House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy in a letter to then-House Speaker Nancy Pelosi on October 3, 2019.

“To open an impeachment inquiry is a serious matter, and House Republicans would not take it lightly or use it for political purposes. The American people deserve to be heard on this matter through their elected representatives. That’s why, if we move forward with an impeachment inquiry, it would occur through a vote on the floor of the People’s House and not through a declaration by one person” – House Speaker Kevin McCarthy in a Breitbart interview on September 1, 2023.

“I am directing our House committees to open a formal impeachment inquiry into President Joe Biden. Over the past several months, House Republicans have uncovered serious and credible allegations into President Biden’s conduct—a culture of corruption” – House Speaker Kevin McCarthy on Twitter, September 12, 2023. No mention of a floor vote to formally launch the inquiry.

Yeah, we might be overselling it in the headline. We don’t know if titular Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy is actually going to answer questions from reporters since the video feed from his YouTube account bills it as “Speaker McCarthy Makes a Statement,” not “press conference” or whatever. But if we got that part right then we sure as shit will have nailed the “defensive and upset” as he’s almost certain to get snappy at least once as the fourth estate needles him on why he thinks it’s a good idea to try to impeach President Biden, if he actually believes can even make it happen, Matt Gaetz breaking his balls, Marjorie Taylor Greene gripping his balls, et cetera. Should be fun.

UPDATE 9/12/2023 11:19 AM EDT: McCarthy will announce he’s just going to open an impeachment inquiry without even holding a vote, Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman reports on the bitch move.