Remember the Fyre Festival, a super-luxurious music festival that was supposed to occur on a Bahamian island in April 2017 that turned out to be one of the lesser major frauds of the ensuing four years?  Thousands of influencers and festival fans bought tickets for thousands of dollars, with promises of glamourous yurts, gourmet food, and headliner acts.

After a $26 million fine and four years in prison, Billy McFarland is back with Fyre Festival 2, and you can go to the website to pay $499 for one of the first 100 tickets–the fact that the first 100 tickets haven’t been sold should tell you something–with regular prices for tickets going from $799 to $7,999.

No acts are listed.  Or a date.  Or even an island.  But the description–“FYRE Festival II is here. We’re dropping the first Pre-Sale FYRE Passes which includes 1 ticket to FYRE Festival II and access to FYRE Pop-Ups, Experiences, and The FYRE Crew Community. *FF II is targeted for the end of 2024.”–is enough to sell it, right?  Because this time, Billy means it.

Five-times indicted felon Donald Trump says he’s going to turn himself in for booking on RICO charges in Fulton County, Georgia on Thursday and blah blah blah witch hunt.

Per Kyle Cheney of Politico, the judge of the California State Bar has postponed the disbarment hearing for Trump lawyer John Eastman, which was originally scheduled to begin Tuesday and potentially go into Wednesday.  The reason for the postponement:  Eastman is expected to turn himself in at the Fulton County Jail to be booked on RICO charges.

Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith’s team on Monday responded to fat former President Trump’s proposal for an April 2026 start date in his trial on charges related to his failed post-2020 election coup attempt, writing such a delay “would deny the public its right to a speedy trial, the defendant cites inapposite statistics and cases, overstates the amount of new and non-duplicative discovery, and exaggerates the challenge of reviewing it effectively.”

Asked by MSNBC’s Ari Melber who’s paying his fees given former Elite Strike Force Team member Jenna Ellis saying “MAGA Inc.” isn’t paying any of the Fulton County co-conspirators’ legal fees, John Eastman’s lawyer, Charles Burnham, was less than transparent when asked who’s paying his bills:

I could never–with any client, I could never get into who’s paying the bills, all that– that’s privileged, obviously.  Let’s just say that I would never take on a representation unless my only and sole goal was to do whatever’s best for the client with absolutely no other considerations.

Three Virginia teens are under arrest Monday, charged with stealing a golf cart at gunpoint from a group of golfers at a Fairfax County golf club, part of a string of thefts and robberies police say they conducted, the Washington Post reports.

Last week, a worker at Hidden Creek Country Club approached a group of boys he believed were stealing golf carts; one of them reportedly pointed a gun at the worker.  Later that night, a group stole another cart and crashed it, before approaching a group of golfers on the course and stealing another golf cart at gunpoint.

Deon Luangraj, 18-years-old, is charged with robbery and various gun charges.  His two accomplices, ages 14 and 16, are facing a variety of charges, from gun and narcotics possession to robbery.

Being instructed that he “shall perform no act to intimidate any person known to him or her to be a codefendant or witness in this case or to otherwise obstruct the administration of justice,” Donald Trump’s bond in the Fulton County election interference case has been set at $200,000, ABC News reports.  “The above shall include, but are not limited to, posts on social media or reposts of posts made by another individual on social media,” the order states.

According to other reports, Trump is also barred from contacting the other defendants in the case, either directly or indirectly, while the ABC News report notes that the communications limitation is specific to the scope of the case.

Having been pushed aside by Speaker pro tem Kevin McCarthy who showed that he’d rather side with Democrats than their juvenile lot, the House Freedom Caucus on Monday released a set up demands it insists must be met if Republicans in the House are to pass another funding bill, NBC News reports.

The nihilists demanding attention said in a statement any future funding bill must have their language on border security; it must include a plan to “de-weaponize” the Justice Department without mentioning any effort to defend the Jorder-Comer politicization fantasies and lies coming from their committee hearings; and changes in Pentagon policies, although they did not list what they wanted except to say “end… cancerous woke policies in the Pentagon.”  Of course, they cannot define what a “woke policy” is.

While Speaker pro tem McCarthy cowered from making a statement, House Democratic Leader Hakeem Jeffries not hesitate to call out the foot-stomping far-right radicals: “House Republicans are determined to shutdown the government and crash our economy. We will fight these MAGA extremists every step of the way.”

Nine-month Trump White House veteran Kayleigh McEnany–who allegedly started supporting Donald Trump’s political career to enhance her television career options–gave some of her insightful advice to Donald Trump, the kind of which catapulted him to global esteem for his transparency in dealing with the worldwide coronavirus pandemic and a clear victory in his reelection bid.  Oh… wait….

Look, you never want somebody else to stand in that center podium.  This is going to be the biggest audience of any Republican event that we have seen this year, could be the biggest audience ever.  It’s the first GOP debate.  You’re giving the center podium to someone else.  You’re allowing these other candidates time to share their stories.  Not only that, two hours of attacks.  You will get attacked even if you’re not there, and no one can answer those attacks better than President Donald Trump himself.  … If he does go on to be the nominee, Donald Trump, Joe Biden doesn’t want to debate him.  There has been reporting about that.  He is not wanting to take the stand at that presidential debate.  You’re giving Joe Biden a card to say, I’m gonna use the Trump debate standard and not show up because I’m so ahead in my internal polls, I’m just not coming.”

Florida continues to unleash biological warfare hazards onto the United States, intent on infecting the nation.  First, the first mosquito-borne malaria cases in years, then the emergence in of the Biblical curse leprosy, a string of brain-eating amoeba attacks, and now, a rare flesh-eating bacteria.  And how could we forget the periodic alligators attacks.

Five Floridians have died of Vibrio vulnificus, and three like Florida transients from New York have also succumbed to the flesh-eating bacteria.  There have been a total of 26 confirmed cases of the bacteria in Florida alone this year, with a few dozen cases found around the country.  The bacteria thrive in warm ocean waters, and with coastal ocean temperatures off the coast of Florida topping 100ºF, the “peach tree” dish is ripe for explosive growth.

NBC News reports Georgia Superior Court Judge Scott McAfee has agreed to a negotiated agreement between prosecutors and John Eastman that set bail at $100,000 with the provision that Eastman  “shall report to pre-trial supervision every 30 days,” and “shall perform no act to intimidate any person known to him or her to be a codefendant or witness in this case or to otherwise obstruct the administration of justice.”

One of the architects of the fake electors scheme, Eastman is part of the conservative, pseudo think tank the Claremont Institute.  He promoted the idea that then-Vice President Mike Pence could unilaterally reject state’s Electoral College electors and decide single-handedly who would be the next President of the United States would be despite the voting outcome.  Real constitutional scholars reject the plan as fanciful.

As the West Coast gets pummeled by a rare land-reaching tropical storm and an earthquake, the Atlantic coast of the nation is watching five separate major storms developing out at sea, the Washington Post reports, with three tropical storms forming over the weekend.

A low pressure system sitting in the Gulf of Mexico is expected to bring three inches of rain to the Texas coast in the next few days, with some areas getting as much as seven inches.  Texas officials have issued flash flood and high-water warnings for Tuesday and Wednesday for the areas around Corpus Christi, Laredo and Brownsville.

Tropical Storms Emily, Franklin and Gert are churning in the Atlantic and their paths are still unknown–unless you’re a certain guy at Bedminster with a Sharpie. Franklin impacted Puerto Rico, dumping more than an inch of rain on the island Sunday.

I was reliably informed Trump isn’t funding any of us who are indicted.

Would this change if he becomes the nominee? Why then, not now?

I totally agree this has become a bigger principle than just one man. So why isn’t MAGA, Inc. funding everyone’s defense? https://t.co/dI0JvThJyp

— Jenna Ellis (@JennaEllisEsq) August 19, 2023

Disgraced “lawyer” Jenna Ellis just can’t get over the fact that the Trump camp continues to fund her legal defense after months of inhaling Rudy Giuliani’s farts and knowingly spewing lies about the integrity of the 2020 election. Perhaps it’s because Ellis supports the other Florida Man, Ron DeSantis, for the 2024 GOP nomination.  It could be that Trump doesn’t think she’s important.  It would be a good time for the cash-strapped self-declared “Christian” to make herself right with her God and tell the truth to prosecutors.

Arizona officials continue their investigation into the fake electors plot in their state, focusing attention on former GOP chair Kelli Ward and her husband, both of whom allegedly signed on as fake electors to a false election certificate after she expressed doubts about the legality of the scheme, Rolling Stone reports.

Ward and her husband, Michael, and nine other Republicans signed an forged document claiming they were the legitimate Electoral College appointees even thought Joe Biden was declared the certified winner of the state.  Arizona is one of at least seven states where such a ploy happened in an attempt to undermine the respective state’s legitimate voter choice.

However, Ward and fellow Arizona GOP official Kathy Townsend, a state senator, questioned the legality of the move, something Trump lawyer and Co-conspirator 5 took note of in an email to his fellow henchmen:  “Ward and Townsend are concerned it could appear treasonous for the AZ electors to vote on Monday if there is no pending court proceeding that might, eventually, lead to the electors being ratified as the legitimate ones,” Chesebro wrote in an email.

With its invasion of Ukraine becoming a quagmire and its president oppressing all political opposition, Russia has few things to celebrate.  Now they may have one:  Domino’s Pizza is closing its remaining store in the country, CNN reports, with its Russian unit, DPRussia, declaring bankruptcy.

“With the increasingly challenging environment, DPRussia’s immediate holding company is now compelled to take this step, which will bring about the termination of the attempted sale process of DPRussia as a going concern and, inevitably, the group’s presence in Russia,” DP Eurasia, its umbrella corporate entity, said in a statement.

Domino’s operated 142 franchises in Russia, standing as the third-largest supposed-pizza delivery service in the country.  While Domino’s may pull its support, other American companies that have pulled out of Russia, such as Starbucks and McDonald’s, saw their franchises attempt to continue as “Stars Coffee” and “Vkusno i tochka” (which translates to “Tasty, period”) respectively.

Holy crap. https://t.co/PEfQikM0Cd

— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) August 21, 2023

Senator Ted Cruz (R-Quintana Roo) isn’t very smart.  For a Harvard alum and a member of Congress, Ted falls for a lot of clearly false memes–especially those that have been around for a decade.  It would be nice if members of Congress could confirm the image before disseminating patently and proveably false information, including that no necessarily about sharks.

With word that the Fulton County, Georgia sheriff’s department’s plan to process indicted felon Donald Trump as he would every other defendant including fingerprints, mugshots and vital statistics, British bookmakers have set the line on wagers regarding Trump’s mysterious weight, the Daily Mail reports.

After then-White House Physician and now embarrassment of North Texas, pill pusher Ronny Jackson, announced in 2018 that Trump stood at 6’3″ tall and weight 239 pounds–ounces below the “Obese” tag–onlookers speculated about how much Trump really weighed given the obviously lie Jackson told.

Now, bookmakers have anticipated the announced physical stats to be released by the Fulton County Jail after Trump is processed to be 273.5 pounds.

“Trump is trying to run out the clock. Not good strategy given his legal entanglements. It’s likely to cost him in Iowa and New Hampshire. Frankly, I hope it does. I’ve moved on from Trump. We need a fresh Republican face as our 2024 nominee” – Top comment on RedState.com’s article.

“If Trump participates, the DEBATE will turn into a BERATE. Good call President Trump!” – The top comment on the Breitbart article. Not clear if this is for or against Trump showing up.

“Trump is the only choice” – Top comment on the Gateway Pundit’s article. Very clear that this asshole doesn’t care either way and would vote Trump even if he pissed his pants on stage.

“I thought it was wrong for Biden to say he will not participate in the debates, and I think it is equally wrong for Trump to not participate in the debates. This attitude of ‘I have this in the bag’ from both Trump and Biden is very off-putting. There are things going on today that were not going on during the 2020 election, and things that have happened since the 2020 election that both should be on stage addressing with the other candidates running in the primaries” – Top comment at Daily Wire by some asshole trying to bothsides it after Trump also skipped the GOP primary debates in 2019.

“Why would you stop on the highway to argue with the bugs squished on your windshield?” – Top comment at Newsmax’s article, kind of clever and funny considering the network’s audience.

These Iowa numbers for 2021 California gubernatorial recall election loser Larry Elder, 2022 Michigan gubernatorial primary reject Perry Johnson, and former Arkansas Governor Asa Hutchinson are pretty fucking impressive. Literally zero support. Miami Mayor Francis Suarez and Ryan Binkey – no wait, Binkley – whoever the hell he is, each got at least one out of 406 respondents to support them in this new Des Moines Register/NBC News/Mediacom Iowa survey all the mainstream political media sites are going to be talking about. Mostly the top of the field with Trump and DeSantis and Tim Scott and Mike Pence and blah blah blah so let’s cover the bottom her at National Zero.

And man… Holy freaking shit that sucks for Asa Hutchinson to come in behind that Blinky guy. Like it’s one thing for those assclowns Johnson and Elder to get no support, but for a guy who actually served two terms as governor in a decent-sized red state to get zero support in Iowa… Damn.

Almost feel bad for him. Maybe genuinely feel bad that more Republicans couldn’t just be relatively normal like him and Mitt Romney instead of fucking demented Nazis like Trump and DeSantis.

Guatemalan conservatives got their dicks handed to them in Sunday’s presidential runoff election as center-left anti-corruption candidate Bernardo Arévalo of the upstart Movimiento Semilla Party won in a landslide against right wing former first lady Sandra Torres, Axios reports.