Whenever Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell finishes buffering he might want to take a look at this new survey of Montana Republican primary voters that Semafor picked up showing Freedom Caucasian Matt Rosendale with a 55 to 19 percent lead over NRSC “establishment” favorite Tim Sheehy in the 2024 primary race to take on incumbent Dem Senator Jon Tester. Rosendale, who already lost to Tester in 2018 before he ran for the House and won in 2020, is for that very obvious reason not McConnell or fellow Montanan NRSC chief Steve Danies’s preferred pick.

He’s also just a fucking asshole in general, and just a slightly more low-key white nationalist of the Paul Gosar-Marjorie Taylor Greene flavor so their antipathy goes beyond simple questions of electability – which may matter less with Trump at the top of the ticket. Tester edged Rosendale out by 3.5 percent in 2018, no small feat in a pretty safely red state, however next year the Orange God Emperor will be at the top of the ticket which will make it tougher for Dems to defend.

The “establishment” Republican donors, ones eager for a candidate to take the lead in that improbable scenario where disgraced former President Trump’s legal problems derail his campaign before the 2024 primaries are decided, love pretty much everything about South Carolina Senator Tim Scott – except for the fact that he’s a 57 year-old lifelong bachelor and they want to know more about his personal life and history before they start writing checks, Axios reports.

Literally, Axios writes they’re asking “Scott’s team for more detail about his bachelor status,” because they’re worried he might be a gay. Scott did tell Axios he had a girlfriend in an interview back in May, but wanted to keep her identity private and his campaign responded to a request for comment by saying that he’ll be speaking more about it publicly in the coming weeks.

That the GOP donors are so concerned about Scott’s status is funnier than Scott’s status itself. That he’s Black already makes him a risky sell to intolerant MAGA voters, so how much worse could it get if he’s gay too? South Carolinians reelected Scott and fellow Palmetto State Senator Lindsey Graham in recent years in a state third only to Iowa and New Hampshire in importance in the Republican presidential primary calendar. So if they already place trust in the Republican electorate there to make a choice influencing 47 other states then why not trust one of the choices they already made?

Then again if Trump drops out and Scott takes the lead there’s going to be way more scrutiny. All bets are off if the national electorate learns he’s neither straight nor gay but an asexual weirdo.

In what appears to be one of the biggest misses in injecting just a little color to an otherwise unremarkable story we’ve seen in a while, a digital editor for television affiliate chain TEGNA, formerly Gannett Broadcast Media, failed to write “Burger King accused of whopper,” in the headline about a class action lawsuit alleging the fast food giant falsely portrayed the iconic burger offering as 30 percent larger in visual advertising than is sold at its locations, instead opting to describe it as simply “Burger King becomes latest fast food giant to face lawsuit over misleading portion sizes,” in the article published at affiliate sites KTVB.com, KARE11.com, and others in TEGNA’s portfolio.

And they weren’t the only ones either. See Breitbart, Reuters, NBC News, WFSA, Fox 10 Phoenix, WBTV, so on and so forth. Friggin USA Today calls it a “Whopper-size lawsuit” in their headline, which is somehow even worse than the generic, straightforward description of the case.

Like it was right fucking there, man. How do you just let that go? Like everyone likes to go on and on about how the Fourth Estate failed the American public by not doing enough to scrutinize the Bush Administration’s claims of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq in the lead-up to the disastrous invasion and their normalization of fascistic rhetoric from right wing politicians and all that other shit.

Where’s all the complaining about failures in reporting like this one though? Besides our bitching about this who else is going to shine a light on the mainstream media’s misses when it comes to shitty, meaningless puns about stupid Burger King lying to consumers as if it should come as some kind of shock to litigious dickwads? Why is it on us to do all the work here? Fuck.

After having appeared bogged down for months in brutal attrition against Putin’s armies in the Ukraine’s occupied east, it appears that Kyiv has made some significant gains in recent days that may have set the stage for rapid advances like those seen late last year, Bloomberg reports.

The push for the Sea of Azov, which would split Kremlin’s forces in two along the axis and cutting off the land route to Crimea, comes as the Ukrainians pummeled Russian cities with a furious round of drone strikes this week, destroying government and military assets while sparing civilian targets.

🇺🇸 Most Famous Mugshot In The World
🇺🇸 Trump Trading Card – Graded Mint 10

— Proud Patriots (@ProudPatriots1) August 28, 2023

“This one-of-a-kind collectible features three different images of the 45th President of the United States, Donald J Trump, in what is now the most famous mugshot in the world. Each card is graded mint 10 perfect condition and comes in a protective case to protect your investment,” says the page for “trading card” at ProudPatriots.com where you can purchase “your investment.” For some reason the price is $5 more than what they’re charging if you click on it from their home page.

The other “investments” in the “TRUMP NEVER SURRENDER COLLECTION” include a “Trump Mugshot – Genuine Legal Tender US $2 Bill,” also for $29.99, a “Trump Mugshot Phone Case” for the same price but surprisingly offered in dozens of different iPhone and Android models (no Freedom Phone though), and a “Trump Mugshot Bumper Sticker” for $14.99, a little much for a regular sticker.

In a possible false statement to the court flagged by Lawfare’s Anna Bower on Wednesday and contra to 2022 testimony by a Coffee County, Georgia Board of Elections official in a related civil case, Sidney “Kraken” Powell claimed in her motion to sever her criminal case from the other Fulton 19 co-conspirators that in early January 2021 her goons had “unanimous” approval from the board to walk into the county elections office and take whatever they wanted from the server to try to prove their stupid bullshit Dominion Voting Systems hacking conspiracy theories.

Bower cites her own deeply extensive play-by-play of the Coffee County breach to point this discrepancy out. The shortest way we can summarize it is this: Among the Fulton 19 RICO defendants connected to the breach are Powell, former Coffee County GOP Chairwoman Cathy Latham (also a fake elector), bail bondsman Scott Hall, and former County Clerk Misty Hampton. On January 7th, 2021, a day after the Capitol riot and when their Orange God Emperor had already given up the ghost, Hampton let Latham, Hall, and another man, Paul Maggio, into the office to rip code and voter data from the server. Maggio is operations chief for Atlanta-based firm Sullivan Strickler, contracted by the Kraken’s “Defending the Republic” PAC to conduct the “investigation.”

Take a trip in Denver as the inaugural Psychedelic Cup will be awarded to the regional “magic mushroom” grower producing the highest quality product, according to the Denver Post.  To be adjudicated by the Psychedelic Club of Denver, enthusiasts of newly-state-legalized class of recreational drugs, the competition hopes to recognize suppliers who have been ostracized where such drugs are illegal.

Another aim of the event is to help growers find a way to standardize how they describe their products to lend some certainty to the new consumer market.  “The impetus here is to have people start testing mushrooms so that we can have informed conversations about what we’re growing and eating and gifting and treating people with because right now we don’t have the language to even start,” competition coordinator Jonathan Cherkoss said.

Creepy reptilian humanoid fascist Blake Masters, who lost by 5 percent to incumbent Dem Arizona Senator Mark Kelly in 2022, is looking to try again in 2024 and may launch a campaign for the seat currently occupied by “independent” Kyrsten Sinema as early as next week, Politico reports.

The Peter Thiel acolyte Masters would face a tough road to the nomination given former ticket mate and “legitimate” Governor of Arizona Kari Lake’s expected entry into the race. The general election outlook hinges quite a lot on whether or not Sinema, who hasn’t publicly decided yet, runs again but the most recent polling shows leading Dem contender Congressman Ruben Gallego ahead in all scenarios, with Sinema actually acting as more of a spoiler for Masters or Lake than for Gallego.

Republican Texas Senator Ted Cruz wants to know that regardless of what the Biden Administration says, he’s gonna drink his non-Bud Light beer. Cranking up the outrage machine on false premises–again–Cruz portrays a recommendation on beer consumption from the NIH as a full-blown legal mandate, and gosh dangit, no one’s gonna tell Ted Cruz how much beer he can drink. Except Heidi, of course. And Trump.

The Department of Health and Human Services will recommend regulations regarding marijuana enforced by the Drug Enforcement Agency be loosened, NBC News reports, a significant shift in its position regarding the criminalization of cannabis.

Under the direction of President Joe Biden, DHHS researchers reviewed the Department’s recommendations regarding marijuana.  The panel’s final recommendation:  move the classification of marijuana from a Schedule 1 drug–similar to cocaine and heroin–to a Schedule 3 drug, where Tylenol with codeine and steroids are classified.

The change might seem small given that both classes are regulated drugs, but for the burgeoning cannabis industry in states where the drug is legal, the change would allow companies to deduct typical business expenses that because of the federal classification, were not previously deductible for cannabis companies.  It could also relieve some of the federal banking restrictions that have handcuffed companies from doing business across state lines.

He came to bury the Leader, not to offer him thoughts and prayers:  Swamp creature Ned Ryun, the son of former GOP Kansas Congressman Jim Ryun and a lifelong partisan leech who has made his career stoking partisan divide for profit, tells secret Trump advisor and Fox hostess Laura Ingraham that hey, rebooting Mitch McConnell had a good run, but it’s time to toss him out because he doesn’t kowtow to the Party’s base–and besides, all those SCOTUS nominees?  Mitch didn’t do that; that was TRUMP!

Peter Navarro did not convince US District Judge Amit P. Mehta that his disregard for a subpoena from the now-defunct House Select Committee investigating the Republican-led January 6th domestic terrorist attack on Congress was covered by executive privilege or any immunity granted by Donald Trump, CNN reports.

Mehta ruled that Navarro’s assertion was not backed up by evidence, saying that privilege could only be asserted by Trump himself or by an agent Trump had authorized to make the claim.  Mehta stated that Navarro had not demonstrated to his satisfaction that Trump or Trump’s agent made the assertion through Navarro, who is acting as his own attorney in the case.

As Gulf of Mexican migrant Hurricane Adelia caused havoc along Florida’s coast, the winds along the panhandle ripped apart a 100-year-old oak tree that sat on the Governor’s Mansion property, CBS News reports.

In an unusual event during campaign season, Republican Florida Governor Ron DeSantis and his family were actually in Tallahassee, a rarity given DeSantis’s recent Iowa residency.  Plucky Casey DeSantis tweeted a message that while Ron was away, she and their three children were unharmed.

Police in Ambridge, Pennsylvania, a Pittsburgh suburb with a population of 7,000, arrested 38-year-old white male Jeffrey Harris for pointing a shotgun at two women in the street after he was thwarted from entering a nearby Black church, the Atlanta Black Star reports.

Harris tried to enter Greater Dominion Church on Sunday morning but was denied permission at the door. “There was a white male, camo vest, red hat, and white t-shirt walking with a possible long gun down [a crowded street],” Ambridge Police Chief John DeLuca said.  Once detained, police found he was carrying a 12-gauge shotgun and some meth.

Statements Harris made to police indicated he intended to carry out a hate crime, and that he planned a long standoff with police at his home.  Police who searched his home found barricades and obstacles throughout the house; something slippery had been spread on the front porch.  Once he sobered up, Harris denied wanting to carry out a hate crime or ambush police.

Donald Trump inflated his personal net worth by more than $2.2 billion in 2014 and his overall finances may be overstated by $4 billion, according to a court filing by the New York State Attorney General’s office, CNN reports.

In a motion for summary judgment in the state’s quarter-billion-dollar civil suit alleging Trump manipulated his financial statements to avoid taxes or gain credit, depending on the circumstance, Attorney General Letitia James stated that between 2011 and 2021, Trump’s net worth could legitimately be estimated as high as $2.6 billion given his company’s financial records.  However, Trump at one point claimed to be worth as much as $6.2 billion, a figure James says is fanciful.

“Mr. Trump’s net worth in any year between 2011 and 2021 would be no more than $2.6 billion, rather than the stated net worth of up to $6.1 billion, and likely considerably less if his properties were actually valued in full-blown professional appraisals,” the court filing says.  Trump’s lawyers will make their own motion for summary judgment, but the judge will not release his decision until just before the scheduled court date in October; neither motion is likely to succeed.

Connie Meggs, the wife of convicted domestic terrorist and Proud Boys leader Kelly Meggs, was sentenced to 15 months in prison Wednesday after telling the court that she was “so angry at my husband for doing this to [her],” according to reporting by Politico’s Kyle Cheney.

Connie Meggs related that she and her children thought Kelly’s activities were meant to protect the family and their way of life, not overthrow the government.  “I was trusting my husband to keep us safe,” she said. “He put his whole family in harm’s way…He has put me through so much hell.”  Ultimately, she realized where his loyalties lay:  “He chose the Oath Keepers over his family.”

Meggs was convicted in March of felony counts for obstruction of an official proceeding, conspiring to prevent an officer of the United States from discharging a duty and destruction of government property; she was also convicted of a misdemeanor count for trespass in an official building.

The University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill Police Department admitted that while the campus was in lockdown during an active shooter event, its officers detained a different Asian man believing they had the killer, NBC News reports.  He was not.

The active shooter situation on campus, where one in six students is of Asian ancestry, was aggravated as the photo of the wrong man being detained circulated among college students and staff for more than a half hour before the actual shooter was identified and detained.

While police said the detained man was questioned and ultimately released, the incident raised concerns among Asian students and others about racial profiling.  The actual shooter, who is suspected of murdering an associate professor over an academic issue, was ultimately taken into custody.  The issue was so prevalent during the shutdown, a professor of Asian heritage on campus posted on social media, “Please stay safe and if you are an Asian male, do not go outside until this is over. The suspect is an Asian male and you don’t want to be mistaken.”

Government watchdogs and migrant advocates called on Republican Texas Governor and confirmed xenophobe Greg Abbott to end Operation Lone Star, the state-run migrant victimization program that pays for inhumane border barriers and kidnapping runs, KTSM NBC-9 in El Paso reports.

Protestors pointed out to the $4.5 billion Abbott has allocated to kidnap migrants and send them to Democratically-run cities in a program the Republican Abbott runs to “own the libs” or to erect razor wire barriers in Mexican waters has done little to stem illegal border crossings.  The groups also pointed out the Abbott Administration is facing multiple lawsuits from individuals, groups and the federal government for its unconstitutional programs regarding the treatment of migrants.  Abbott has allocated an additional $5 billion of taxpayer money over the next two years for additional politically-motivated publicity stunts.

Held at a public park that had been closed as officials decided if the State would confiscate the land as a storage, construction and deployment site for buoy barriers on the Rio Grande, the advocates pointed to the death of at least two migrants who became entangled on the razor wire-covered buoys that Abbott ordered placed on the Mexican side of the border.  They also pointed to a more recent incident where a Texas National Guardsman fired at least one shot that wounded a civilian at a public park on the Mexican side of the border.

For the second time in two months, Republican Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell had a second public episode of freezing while asked a question Wednesday, this time as he was addressing a local Chamber of Commerce group in Kentucky.  After being asked about reelection plans, McConnell briefly acknowledged the question and then stood for 25 seconds with a blank look on his face.  McConnell aide approached the Senator and asked if he had heard the question, and the Senator barely acknowledged her presence.

Republican Georgia state Senate Majority Leader Steve Gooch, whose terrible surname we had to use in the headline to underscore how much he sucks… You just know that asshole definitely went by the “Goochmeister” and “El Goocharino” in college too like that kind of fucking tool. Christ.

Anyway, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports the Goochoo Train is steaming his way to holding hearings on Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis to draw attention to his impotent rage over disgraced former President Trump and 18 of his minions getting slapped with massive RICO indictment over their post-2020 election coup attempt in the state. “We believe she is definitely tainted,” Goochbag said. “She’s politicizing this, and we want to make sure these people get a fair trial and a fair shake,” he added as if a political crime could ever not be “politicized.”